Everything About You
by DTS Guru
Summary: Paul imprints on the new girl in La Push, but he reminds her too much of the past she is trying to forget.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: For my second fanfic, we're going to try an OC, cause I really don't like that whiny little bitch Bella. Seriously, what is wrong with that chick? She needs to grow some self-esteem. And picking the ice-cold guy? Has she never been to the gyno? Those cold-ass instruments up the hoo-ha are not the least bit comfortable.**

**Oh, and I don't really have any fucking clue where I'm going with this because I pulled it from an original story of mine and the ending of that wouldn't work for the La Push world so I'm going to have to completely re-work it (not that I ever got around to actually typing out the ending, but I knew what it was in my head). So the updates on this will be a lot slower, since I had most of Lap Dog typed up before I ever put it out there. And I'm too impatient to wait to post this until I have that many saved up for this one.**

**Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to its rightful author SM, who ain't me (this thing gets so repetitive and you people are smart enough to know this shit...do I really have to do this every fucking time?).**

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**Chapter 1**

**Jenna's POV **

The first twelve hours were difficult, since I had been awake all day and I hadn't even started the trip until late evening. But with several stops to care for Anderson and to top off the gas tank and my coffee cup, and take a smoke break, I managed to stay awake. Once the sun came up it was a bit easier to manage. Still, around noon that next day I was forced to find a secluded spot off the highway to take a short nap. I think it was somewhere in Colorado. Or possibly Wyoming. I was a little too out of it to know at that point. I was aware enough to realize that it wasn't safe to keep going without some sleep. Anderson was a good alarm clock though, so I didn't lose too much of the afternoon.

My three-hour nap lasted me through a tank of gas and about six of the next twelve hours. Then I had to start relying on coffee again. By the time I hit Utah I was drinking it black and stopping every sixty miles to refill my travel mug. _You could just get a cheap-ass motel and stay the night._ I eyed the next cheap motel as I drove by, not the least bit tempted to stay there. Memories of what I had allowed myself to do in similar cheap motels back home surfaced and I shuddered. No. I had no intention of ever stepping foot in a cheap motel again. I would camp out in my car before sleeping in a place like that ever again.

The coffee began to fail me in Idaho. The road was swimming before me, blurring and swaying. When I realized that my eyes were closed and had been for more than a second I jerked them open. Shit! Anderson was in the car with me! I didn't care if I died, but I sure as Hell wasn't taking him out with me. I cried with relief when a sign for a rest stop appeared seconds later. And the rest stop was only a mile away. It was a struggle to stay awake for even that one mile. I had pushed myself too hard. I needed to be taking more breaks. Sleeping longer. But it was scary sleeping on the side of the highway. Especially with Anderson. If anything happened to him I was pretty sure I would kill myself.

I pulled into the very back of the rest stop. Then I crawled into the back of the car with Anderson, pulled a blanket over myself and passed out. Cries woke me. Groggily I woke up, my hands already reaching for his infant carrier. The poor thing was probably soaked through. I unbuckled him by feel as I looked around. The sun was just starting to come up, which meant I had slept for nearly eight hours. Wow. I hadn't had eight hours of sleep since Anderson was born. _Driving must be the trick. I'll have to remember that when I'm having trouble getting him down._ Of course, once I reached my destination, I had no intention of driving for a very long time.

I took care of Anderson as quickly as I could, anxious to get back on the road. I still had to get through Idaho, Oregon and across all of Washington state. I thought I could possibly reach his house by that evening, if traffic wasn't too bad and there weren't any major construction issues. Fear and doubt stabbed at my chest but I shoved them away. It was too late for self-doubt. I'd come too far already. I didn't have anywhere to go back to. If this didn't work out…well…it just had to work out. I didn't have any other options.

I carried Anderson's whole baby carrier with me to the restroom, feeling guilty that the poor guy was stuck in there this whole time. But I couldn't very well put him on the bathroom floor while I peed could I? I silently promised him that I wouldn't put him back in for at least a week after I took him out, unless I absolutely had to. Then I used some of the cash from my quickly diminishing funds to get myself some breakfast from the vending machines before hitting the road again.

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I strained my eyes at every stop sign, hoping to see my turn-off. My mind was beginning to spin with fatigue again and the countryside was rushing past me in a surreal, almost psychedelic way. The trees were just so green, even the trunks were green, from the moss covering them and the ferns rising from the ground. It was all a green blur, and it was starting to hypnotize me. If I didn't find the turn-off soon I was going to have to pull over for another nap. I didn't want to do that though. According to my internet search, I should be minutes from the La Push reservation. Unless I'd gotten lost, which was very likely in my confused, sleep-deprived state.

Anderson let out a tentative whine from the backseat. I groaned. Not now.

"Shh, Baby. We're almost there."

My heart jumped as a sign popped into the headlights, declaring that I was entering the reservation. Finally. I was on the right track. I was one step closer to providing a safe environment for Anderson. _If _John was willing to help me out.

Half a mile down the road I began to doubt myself again. There was nothing on this road. I hadn't passed a single house or even a side road yet. Nothing but trees were illuminated for as far as the headlights shone. The doubt began to overtake me. My map showed that there should be a side street a mile in, and that his house was half a mile further down that street. Without buildings or landmarks to judge distances by I couldn't be sure, but it sure felt like I had been driving for at least three miles since I had entered the reservation. Why hadn't I glanced at the odometer when I first got onto the reservation? What if the map was wrong? Why hadn't I called before jumping into my car and heading out here? I could have gotten directions from him. Who traveled from Oklahoma to Washington without calling first to make sure the visit was welcome? Especially when the person wasn't visiting but asking to move in?

A desperate person, that's who. I clenched my jaw and leaned forward to squint into the night. Anderson gave out a louder cry. Tears fell from my eyes as his cries filled the small car. I was just too tired to deal with my own worries and his distress too.

"Honey, it's ok. We're almost there. I'll take care of you as soon as we get to John's house." Surely he would take us in long enough for me to get Anderson changed and fed.

Was that a street sign ahead? I held my breath as I approached it. Yes! It was even the street sign I was looking for! I turned down the road and crept along, my eyes peeled for John's address. I held my breath again as the car neared a mailbox. I slowed to a crawl as the headlights finally illuminated the numbers on the side. Anderson's cries were deafening by now and I cringed in reaction. My breath came out in a rush. That was the address. I was finally here. I took the turn into the gravel driveway quickly and drove up to the house. There were no lights on but there was a vehicle in the driveway. I glanced at the clock as a motion sensor light clicked on, flooding the yard all the way out to the road. It was only ten. John shouldn't be too upset with me showing up at this time even if he was asleep. It was better than two in the morning at least.

I pulled up next to an expensive looking SUV and shut off my engine. I crawled over the seat and unbuckled Anderson. John would probably react much better if his first impression wasn't a screaming infant. So I changed Anderson's diaper and fed him quickly, marveling at the child as he suckled. As always, my emotions settled and peace filled me as I watched my son latch onto my breast. I had never intended to be a teenaged mother, because seriously, who does? But this amazing little creature in my arms had changed everything the moment the doctor placed him in my arms. Every horrible experience and bad decision from my past were unimportant now. Life started fresh when Anderson was born. I had responsibility now, someone depending on me to make the right decisions. Which was why I was here, sitting in a stranger's driveway.

I raised my eyes to look at the house. The motion detector had switched off, so I couldn't really see any details of the house. I could see that besides regular porch steps there was also a handicapped ramp. Was John in a wheel chair? Or was another resident handicapped? I didn't know enough about John. I didn't know anything about John.

How would John react when he saw me? Was it even really John's house? That was a horrible thought. It could be anyone's house. I had gotten the address from my mother after all, in a round about way. She hadn't been back since before I was born. Why had I taken off on this fool's journey without checking the facts first? What was I going to do if I knocked on that door and John wasn't the one who answered? What if the person who answered had never even heard of John? What if it was John and he shut the door in my face?

Anderson was finished eating and was content once again. I couldn't put off the inevitable any longer. If I stayed in the car much longer I was going to pass out from exhaustion. Then John would find some random stranger passed out in her car in his drive-way in the morning, not the first impression I wanted to make. _Pull your big girl panties up and get out of the car, Jenna. Go on…move._ I stared at the house for a long moment. Finally I grabbed the diaper bag and a backpack that contained a few spare clothes and toiletries for me before popping open the back door and stepping out of the car.

The motion sensor kicked back on, providing plenty of light as I walked toward the front porch. Every step felt like I was walking toward my doom instead of my possible savior. But I made myself keep walking. I mounted the porch steps with shaky legs. My body was going to give out on me soon from the way I had been pushing it for days now, but that wasn't the main contributing factor. Now that I was facing the doorway, my stomach was in knots. I was so tense my whole body was shaking. There was no backup plan if John ended up being the kind of person Amy insisted he was. If he shut that door in my face, then I was done. I had no one to turn to. I would have to go to the child protective services and put myself and Anderson in their hands. I wasn't going to do that without a fight though. I rang the doorbell and waited anxiously, shivering harder with every second that passed.

I had no idea what kind of person John was. I didn't know if he was married or single. If he had any kids. Amy refused to give any information about the man. His full name and town had been a slip of the tongue. After searching through my mother's papers the tip had led me to a Christmas card in it's original envelope containing the return address. Since there was still a John listed at the address in the yellow pages online, I had taken the chance that he was the man I was looking for.

The door finally opened slowly to reveal a medium sized man with short black hair sticking up at odd angles. He had lines from his pillow on one cheek and narrowed, sleepy eyes. He took a second to take in the sight of me and Anderson and his eyes slowly widened.

"Can I help you?"

"John Black?" I had intended to introduce myself and plead my case quickly and eloquently, but I was too tired to do anything but confirm his name.

He nodded slowly, his eyes darting down to the baby and back up. "I'm sorry, but do I know you?"

"I'm Jenna, Amy's daughter."

He stared at me for a long moment, clearly shocked.

"Can I come in?"

He jumped back, holding the door wide open. "Sorry, yeah, come in."

The house was quiet, dark and cool. My eyes started drooping almost immediately once I was inside. I felt myself relaxing. He had let me into the house. That was one step in the right direction at least. I couldn't help but eye the couch. If only I could lie down for just a few moments.

"Where is Amy living now?"  
I dropped the diaper bag and backpack before slowly turning to face John. "Oklahoma, for the moment."

_For the next five to ten years._

He rubbed his face with one hand. "Did you drive here by yourself?"

I nodded, unable to answer around a large yawn.

"When'd you leave Oklahoma?"

I furrowed my brow in thought, my memories snarling around each other. "Uh…I think it was a couple of nights ago?"

John shook his head at me. "And I take it you need a place to crash for awhile?"

I couldn't quite meet his eyes as I nodded. He didn't sound terribly thrilled with the idea. "I won't be any trouble. I swear. I had nowhere else to go."

John groaned and rubbed his face again. He lowered his hand with a grunt. "You can sleep here tonight at least. We'll figure it out in the morning."

I started to reach down to grab my bags, but John beat me to it, somehow crossing the distance between the front door and the bags before I could finish bending down. He led me into a hall and to the first doorway. He set the bags down by the door and disappeared into the dark room. A moment later a lamp flicked on, sending a soft light through the room. The room was fairly large with a king-sized bed, an armoire in the corner and a vanity. There was even a sitting chair off to the side. All I could focus on at the moment was the bed though.

John started to head out of the room, but stopped at the doorway. He turned with a small frown, his eyes clearly more awake than they had been earlier. "Where exactly is Amy and does she know where you are?"

I stared down at my feet as I answered. "She's in prison, and she couldn't care less where I am…I put her there."

I could feel his eyes on me for a long, uncomfortable moment. Then he left the room, shutting the door quietly behind himself.

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**John's POV**

I dialed my brother's number as I carried the cordless phone outside and began to pace as I waited for him to pick up.

"Hey, what's up?" Billy asked.

"Amy has a daughter. And she just showed up on my porch."

"What!" Billy exclaimed.

I ran a hand through my short hair. "It gets worse. The girl has a baby. She looks all of fourteen and she has a baby! She's got to be older than that. She drove herself all the way from Oklahoma. In two days. She looked like she was about to fall over from exhaustion."

"Damn…that's just…we have a niece?"

"And Amy is apparently in some prison in Oklahoma." I stated as I turned so I could make another round on my porch.

"Sounds like Amy," Billy said with a sarcastic snort.

I nodded my head, although he couldn't see it. "Look, I called to say I want you to make sure none of the pack shows up here for a few days."

"Ok…why?"

"Just pass the message on to Sam, ok? She's at least half Quileute. She's already proven to be fertile. She's prime imprinting material. I don't want any of them showing up here." I asserted. My niece had obviously been through a rough few months or years to get to the point where she would drive half-way across the country to show up on a stranger's porch, begging for a place to sleep, if only for a night. Anger filled me at the thought of another stranger laying claim to her as his soul mate, changing all the plans the girl might have had for her own future. That seemed like too much to put on her right now.

Billy sighed. "John, if she stays here then she's going to run into them eventually. If it's going to happen then it will happen. What's the point of banning them from your house if it's going to happen anyway? You know some of those boys rely on having a place to crash sometimes."

"Well I guess your couch is going to be a lot more crowded." I hung up on my brother and glared at the phone.

Sometimes Billy's attitude toward life just drove me crazy.

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**AN: So….what do ya'll think? For some reason I'm a lot more nervous on this one then I was the first. What's up with that? To keep anyone from being confused: The OC's are all Blacks, John and Amy are Billy Black's siblings which makes Jenna Billy's niece and Jake's cousin.**

**I tried to make the main guy character one of the other wolf pack members because I'd just done a Paul story, but the main guy character is _always_ getting into fights...so it kinda had to be Paul (and I wrote the original piece way before ever reading Twilight, so the character was not Paul-like intentionally). So I compromised by keeping the original OC gal. Unfortunately the gal starts out the story with a kid, so I'm going to try my damndest not to make it too much like Lap Dog. You guys will have to make sure I don't falter there. The girl is dealing with different issues though, so hopefully I can manage. It does seem a bit more angsty and filled with less of the sarcastic goodness. I was in a darker place when I wrote the original work it's based off of. I managed to tone down the 'oh please just slit my wrist now' feel to it somewhat by re-writing it for the Twilight world, but I think it still reflects some of that vibe. Or maybe I've just been looking at the original too much!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**AN:...I guess I don't have a smart-ass comment today...so just read the damn chapter.**

**Disclaimer: Twilight meet SM, oh, you're already acquainted? Alrighty then.**

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Jenna POV**

Raised voices incorporated themselves into my dream, waking me. Not that I minded being woken up from the hell I was re-living. I groggily looked at the clock as the voices lowered again to a deep rumble. I thought the first voice belonged to John, it sounded vaguely familiar. The second was slightly deeper and so quiet I couldn't make out any of the words. It was only six in the morning though and Anderson was still sleeping soundly. So I lay back down and closed my eyes. Whatever the argument was, it was between John and…his friend? Roommate? Boyfriend? Son? Whoever, it wasn't my problem. I'd learned long ago that I had no business getting involved in someone else's argument. And it had only taken one broken rib to teach me that lesson. Give me a pat on the back, I was a fast learner.

I woke up after what felt like five more minutes of good sleep when Anderson began to cry. I grabbed the diaper bag I'd left at the edge of the bed, changed his diaper quickly, and then fed the boy. It was hard to climb out of the bed when he was finished, but my bladder was too insistent. I had to find the restroom. With Anderson wide-awake it wasn't safe to leave him in the middle of the bed, even surrounded by pillows. He wasn't really old enough to roll over on his own yet, but I wasn't willing to risk it. So I spread a blanket on the ground and placed him in the middle of it. Then I turned my attention to finding the bathroom.

There were three closed doors in the bedroom and I couldn't even remember which one I'd come in the night before. I had been too tired. Looking closer I could see that two of the doors had locks on them. Let's see what's behind door number one. Moving to the closest I opened it and smiled. First try and there it was! It wasn't huge, but it contained all the necessary elements, a small vanity, sink and toilet on one side and a bath-shower combo on the other. There was even a small linen closet. Straight across from the doorway I stood in was a closed door with a lock on the handle. I assumed there was another bedroom on the other side of that doorway.

I went back into the bedroom and made sure that the bedroom door was locked. Then I riffled through my backpack for my shampoo, soap, razor and toothbrush and toothpaste. I made sure the lock on the other bathroom door was closed but kept the door to my bedroom open, so I could peak out and check on Anderson easily. As good as it felt to shower after a couple of day son the road, I got out as quickly as I could. I didn't feel comfortable knowing that Anderson was on the floor in another room with no one watching him. Plus, I knew John was probably waiting on me to come out and talk to him about why I had driven cross-country to a stranger's house. I toweled off as fast as I could and changed into jeans and a t-shirt. I brushed my hair and teeth and carried my things back into the bedroom before grabbing Anderson and going in search of John.

I didn't have to search very hard. He was sitting in a recliner, watching some kind of auto mechanics show. As soon as I walked into the room he flicked the TV off and stood.

"You must be hungry. I don't have a lot of food in the house, but I've got some cereal. Or we could go to the diner."

I had been surviving on the best that vending machines and gas stations had to offer. "Can we please go to the diner? I haven't had anything hot to eat in days."

John's eyes softened with pity and he nodded. "Sure, sure."

I followed him onto the front porch. I noticed as he pulled the door shut that he didn't even bother to lock it! When he turned around to head for the car he paused.

"I don't have a car seat."

"Oh. Well. We could move his car seat to yours, or you could drive mine." I pulled my keys from the pocket of the diaper bag and held them out.

He shrugged and took them.

I mentally apologized to Anderson as I strapped him into the carrier yet again before settling in the passenger seat.

I wasn't sure if John would want to talk about the situation at the diner in front of everyone or wait until after we had returned. He surprised me by delving right in as soon as he had started the car.

"So why is my sister in prison?"

I chewed my lip for a moment, wondering how he would react. Would he be angry with me? Would he make me leave once he knew? "She made a lot of bad decisions over the years. About ten years ago she started drinking heavily. She was hanging with a bad crowd."

_I sound like a bad after-school special._

"After a few years she started doing drugs." **_We _**_started doing drugs. _"Amy would get caught, pulled over for speeding or something and wind up in rehab. Get cleaned up for a couple months. Then she'd start using again." I could feel his eyes darting back and forth from the road to me. Uncomfortable, I shifted my gaze out my window, so at least I couldn't see him from the corner of my eye anymore. "Over the last couple of years she got really bad. She started using crystal-meth. It's a big problem in Oklahoma. It's everywhere. When I realized I was pregnant I begged her to stop. I just…I couldn't have that around a baby." My voice dropped down to a whisper. "She said she had cleaned up but a few days after Anderson was born I caught her using. We got into an argument about it and she hit me. I knew it was the drugs. She'd never done it before and I knew she didn't mean to do it then. She wouldn't do it again. But I saw an opportunity to keep my son safe and I took it. I called the cops on her. I turned her in for child abuse and drug possession. I thought they would force her into rehab again, long enough to get her clean. But they put her in prison instead. The judge said he was sick of seeing her."

I stared out of the window as the car filled with silence. I couldn't bring myself to turn and look at him. My mind was too occupied with the memories anyway. My life had been such a mess. My mother hadn't been the only one drinking and taking drugs. I had never tried crystal meth, not after seeing how quickly she had gotten hooked. I wanted to have a good time, not get sucked into an addiction. Give me pot any day. Uppers. Narcotics. But I stayed away from the hard stuff. I never touched the stuff that would hook you the first time. I wasn't stupid. Unfortunately my mother was.

I leaned my forehead against the cool glass and closed my eyes as shame threatened to overwhelm me. I had lived to party. There were entire weekends that I didn't know what I was doing, I was so drunk and stoned. I didn't know who I slept with. I didn't know what I consumed. Hell, maybe I had taken harder drugs and just didn't know it. I didn't remember most of the eight or ninth grades.

And then early in my sophomore year of high school I realized that my nausea was not just another hangover. I was pregnant. I had no idea who the father was. I didn't even have a handy-dandy list of possible suspects. I couldn't count on my fingers how many candidates there could be because I had been partying too hard to keep track of that kind of thing. I had been having too much _fun_. I was one of those whores who wound up on the day-time 'who's the daddy' talk shows. You know the ones, where the woman brings five different men kicking and screaming onto the show and finds out that _none of them_ are the father. And then she shows up two months later with six more, _who also aren't the father._ It had been an unpleasant wake up call to say the least. Although, looking at my son, I figured the father was either Latino or American Indian like myself. That or my genes were incredibly strong. He had jet black hair like my own and dark eyes. His skin was just a shade lighter than mine, which had me leaning toward a Latino father. I had always found them attractive. But then again, Oklahoma was chock-full of American Indians too. The father might not have been full-blood like myself but he could easily be Indian.

As soon as I saw that little positive sign on that little stick my life had taken a complete one-eighty. I hadn't touched alcohol since. I hadn't taken a single pill that hadn't been prescribed to me by an honest-to-goodness doctor. A joint had not touched my lips. I did still smoke cigarettes, but after giving up every other vice, I was finding it a little difficult to give up nicotine. I was considering the nicotine gum or patches, but I hadn't gotten around to it yet. I had managed to stay away from the cancer sticks while I was pregnant though, a major accomplishment. I just hadn't been able to keep away once I started dealing with the stress of a newborn baby.

Those months I had been pregnant were the longest of my life. I was consumed with guilt and worry. What kind of defects would my child have because of the reckless life I was leading when I conceived him and up to the point I realized I was pregnant? It was painful to know that I may have made his life more difficult because of the choices I had made before he was even born. Over the course of the pregnancy I had convinced myself that I deserved for him to be harmed by my behavior. That pain and guilt cemented my will. I was going to do everything in my power to be a good mother to him, regardless of any health defect he had. I was amazed when he was born without any, but oddly,the guilt was even stronger. There were women who had done everything right who gave birth to handicapped children. I did everything wrong and had a perfect child. Where was the justice in that?

The biggest change in my behavior was that I had hardly even talked to anyone of the opposite sex. They certainly hadn't gotten anywhere near my cooter. Well, except the doctors for pregnancy and labor sanctioned activities only. I was going to be a good mother. That meant no more whoring around. No more sleeping with random guys because they were hot. I was going to focus on being Anderson's mother, which meant no guys at all. Basically, I was going to be the exact opposite of Amy.

"We're here," I heard John say as I felt the car stop moving.

I opened my eyes to see a small diner. There were a few other cars parked around but it was an odd time of day, so the place wasn't full. It was nearly ten-thirty, too late for the breakfast crowd but too early for the lunch rush to start.

John got out and waited patiently for me to pull Anderson out of his carrier. Normally I would take his whole carrier into a restaurant, but after leaving him strapped in for two days straight I couldn't do that to him. I would just eat with him in my arms.

John led us to a booth and a waitress practically followed on my heels. She smiled at us with a friendly look, not even batting an eyelash at the baby in my arms. "What can I get you to drink?"

We both ordered orange juice and she skipped off. I perused the menu quickly, looking for something that I could eat one-handed. I wanted something hot that wouldn't be too messy. When I finally made up my mind and sat back I glanced up to see John studying me and Anderson.

As soon as I looked up he spoke. "You two can stay as long as you want."

I sank back into the booth and hugged Anderson to my chest. It felt like something had just unclenched inside me and tears suddenly sprang to my eyes. "Thank you."

He smiled softly at me. "How old are you, Jenna?"

"Sixteen."

"And how old is the baby?"

"Three months. His name is Anderson."

John ran a hand through his hair. "Ok. We'll probably need to contact a lawyer, so I can become your legal guardian. And I'll need to get both of you on my insurance. You need to go to school again."

He lowered his hand and focused on me. "The house rules: anyone under eighteen attends school. No drug use. Don't go out and get plastered. If you're going to drink, do it at my house. You can drink any beer in the fridge and any of the liquor in the cabinet, but don't be giving it out to your friends and don't go around telling people. No smoking in the house; there are ashtrays outside. There's a game room in the building out back. You can have friends over but no wild parties. I work in Seattle so I'm only home on the weekends. I need to trust that you aren't going to trash the place while I'm gone."

I stared at him, trying to absorb all that I had just heard. Clearly it was a good thing that I had arrived after having Anderson. If I had wound up here before having him I would have taken advantage of this man and his naïve rules. Why did he have these house rules anyway? It was almost like he was used to having visitors. Younger ones at that. People usually didn't feel the need to make house rules for adult visitors.

"Who else lives there? Or visits often?"

John shook his head, his eyes darting off to the side. "No one."

"But there was someone there this morning. Really early. I heard you arguing with him."

"That's just a friend. He stays sometimes. But he won't be coming over for awhile."

My imagination went into overdrive and guilt flooded me. "Your friend can stay over whenever you want. It doesn't bother me, really. I don't have any problem with that kind of thing."

"You don't have a problem with what kind of thing?"

I blushed. "You know. Alternative lifestyles."

John stared at me for a long moment, his face completely blank. Then his eyes widened. "He's not that kind of friend! Just a neighborhood kid who needs a place to crash every so often, when things get a little tense at home."

I nodded, but kept my mouth shut. There was no way in hell that deep voice had belonged to any neighborhood kid. John had to be gay. There was no other explanation for a man his age still being single with no children. Especially after hearing a heated argument at that time of the morning. No, he was gay and they had been arguing about my presence in John's house. I felt horrible for possibly ruining my uncle's relationship, but Anderson needed a safe place to stay and I was going to make sure he had one. No matter what the cost.

The perky waitress skipped up to our table again. "Are you ready to order?"

We ordered our food quickly and then sat back to wait some more.

"You probably don't have much for the baby shoved in that little car outside do you?"

I shrugged. "I guess not. Why?"

"We need to go shopping. He'll need a crib and I need a car-seat. We need a highchair and whatever else babies are supposed to have. I'm sure he needs clothes too. You probably need clothes. I'm sure the climate here is much different than Oklahoma. Wetter."

I frowned. I didn't want to be beholden to any man. I had no way of paying him back. At least not with money. And I would not fall back into my old lifestyle now that I had driven halfway across the nation to escape it.

"I don't want you buying anything for me."

"You need things for the baby, Jenna. Consider it payback for all the birthdays and Christmases I've missed over the past sixteen years. Let me help you."

Tears pricked my eyes. I blinked furiously, not wanting to cry in front of the man and everyone else in the diner. "I can't pay you back though."

John snorted. "No one asked you to. You're family, Jenna. This is what family does."

_No family I've ever known. _ Staring at the man across from me I was incredibly grateful for the first time in my life that my mother was a liar. John Black was nothing like she said. So far he had proven to be generous, understanding and accepting. Opposite of everything Amy had claimed him to be. As the waitress set my plate of scrambled eggs and bacon in front of me I felt myself relaxing. I had made the right decision when I hopped into my car and headed across the country. Sure, it had been reckless, but it had also been right.

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**PPOV**

So far, today had sucked ass. I had to run the overnight patrol after being up all day. Then I got caught sneaking into the house when I came home this morning. Turns out the old man had just stumbled in himself, reeking of whiskey. The fucking hypocrite went after me for being out all night. I barely made it out of the house without tearing off his fucking head. Then I went to John's to crash in one of his spare rooms, only to be told that his fucking niece had just moved in and I was shit out of luck. John's niece was going through a hard time and she needed a safe place to rest for awhile. Get away and just breathe. _What, she can't breathe with me sleeping in the next room? I don't take up that much oxygen._

My next stop was Billy's house, but Embry was already on his couch. Apparently his mom had accused him of smoking pot when she saw how much he ate for dinner the night before and told him he wasn't welcome back in the house until he was clean. She was going to do a piss test on him before she let him back into the house. Stupid bitch.

That left Sam as my only other option. When I arrived I was surprised to find most of the guys there already. Then Embry came running up behind me, still rubbing sleep from his eyes. What the hell?

Sam walked in the back door. "Everybody here?"

I looked around. Now that Embry and I were here, the pack was assembled. Which meant there were no seats available. I leaned against the wall and crossed my arms.

Sam clapped his hands together. "Ok. This will be a quick one guys. John Black has requested that we avoid his house for awhile. His niece has come to live with him and he doesn't want the pack around her."

_What the fuck? That prick doesn't think we're good enough to be around his precious niece?_

There was a moment of silence and then the guys erupted. Sam put two fingers into his mouth and whistled, silencing everyone.

"Guys, we have to respect his wishes. From what I gather she's been through some tough shit lately and he has his reasons for not wanting the pack around her."

"What reason could he possibly have for not wanting us there?" I asked.

Sam sighed. "I guess it wouldn't be fair not to warn you all, since one of you could potentially be affected. John doesn't want you around her because Billy and John have a feeling that Jenna will be an imprint. He just wants to give her a chance to settle in here before that happens."

_Yeah, like anyone knows who's going to be an imprint._

I looked around, expecting everyone else to be rolling their eyes, but the other non-imprinted guys looked scared shitless. Pussies. _I guarantee no one is going to imprint. It's so fucking rare Sam and Jared are the only ones in the pack who will ever imprint. That bastard kicked me out of his house for this?_

"So are we done here?" I asked gruffly.

Sam frowned at my tone but nodded. "That's all I had."

I pushed myself off the wall. "I need a place to sleep for a few hours. Is the bed free?"

"Go ahead."

I had lost count of how long I'd been up after twenty-six hours and I was about to fall asleep on my feet. I had to use the fucking handrail to pull myself up the stairs, just to keep from tilting backward. The room behind me erupted into chaos again as I made my way into the spare room and shut the door. I had no trouble ignoring it though as I collapsed onto the bed. As soon as my eyes closed I was out, John's niece and her imprinting possibilities immediately forgotten.

* * *

**AN: Hmmm..still nothing witty to say...I think my wit bone is broken.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**Disclaimer: Twilight-SM**

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Jenna POV**

_I woke up slowly, pushing damp hair off my forehead. It stuck. I wrinkled my brow and groaned. I was already sweating and I hadn't even gotten out of bed yet. This place sucked. Suddenly I froze. Someone was watching me. I moved my eyes around the room until they landed on the doorway. _**_He _**_was standing there, his eyes on my panties. Only then did I realize that my Little Mermaid nightgown had ridden up in my sleep. I jerked it down and pulled the sheet over my body, despite the summer heat. The man's lips twitched and he took a step toward the bed._

With a gasp I sat up in bed. My brow was damp with sweat, just like in my nightmare. Only it wasn't really a nightmare. It was a memory. Tears tried to spill from my eyes, but I blinked them away. I shoved the blankets off of my body and glanced at my alarm clock with a groan. My alarm was set to go off in two hours. From experience I knew that it would take at least an hour and a half to unwind from my dream before I could go back to sleep. There was no point in even trying if I would only get half an hour more sleep, at most, before I had to get up for my first day of school.

Anderson was sleeping peacefully in the crib John had purchased. The man had insisted I let him buy everything Anderson needed, and then some. He was being far too generous and it made me anxious. I had no way of paying him back. So I had thrown myself into cleaning his house like a crazy woman. It had certainly needed the attention. He was away all during the week and when he was home on the weekends he didn't want to focus on the housework. Before I had arrived he tended to spend all of his free time watching sports and fishing with his friend Charlie and his brother Billy. That's right. His brother. I had another uncle I had never even known about. And apparently a couple cousins as well. I hadn't actually met them yet, but John had mentioned before leaving for Seattle the previous night that Billy wanted us to come over for dinner when John came back into town.

I wrapped a quilt around my shoulders and padded out to the laundry room to start another load in the washing machine. I might as well use the time wisely since I was up. While I waited for the towels to wash I curled up on the couch and mindlessly watched some TV. John had premium cable, which was filled with movie channels. So I turned it to a movie I had been waiting to watch. It hadn't taken me long to realize that John had a lot more money than the other residents of the reservation. I wasn't sure why he chose to live here still. He worked almost four hours away in Seattle and had a cheap apartment where he stayed on the weeknights. So why did he keep this house for two nights a week and stay in a cheap place in the city for the other five when he could be staying a nice place in the city every night? It made no sense at all.

Anderson's cries woke me up from a dead sleep. I jumped from the couch and ran to my room. My alarm was blaring, adding to the cacophony in the room. Shit! I had half an hour to feed Anderson, get myself ready and get to school. I had just changed his diaper and was heading for the kitchen to make his bottle when there was a knock at the door. What now? I jostled my son on my arm as I rushed to the door. This was just perfect. That better be the babysitter. I did not have time to be answering the door for missionaries or any other solicitors.

I yanked the door open. A woman stood before me with a large smile. I smiled back and tried to keep my expression pleasant. I could not allow the shock to show. She had three huge scars running down half her face. If this was the babysitter I was going to kill John for not warning me. How could he not warn me about her scars? A person needed to know about that kind of thing so they could be prepared!

"Hi! I'm Emily. This must be Anderson."

So this _was_ the babysitter. "Yes. And he's starving. I slept in and I was just about to make his bottle."

Emily held her arms out. "Let me so you can get ready for school."

Gratefully I surrendered my son and led her toward the kitchen. "Ok. Here's all the stuff you'll need. He's a butterball. He'll eat a whole 8 ounces every four hours. And he'll want a bowl of this cereal after the bottle, but only the morning bottle. He's a good sleeper and takes regular naps. I wrote it all down right here on this note."

I chewed on my lip and watched as she started to expertly make a bottle with one hand. It had been a very difficult, not to mention painful, decision to stop breast-feeding. But I had realized that school was not the ideal place to be lactating. I would have to find a private place to pump, and then find a place to store the milk if I didn't want to waste it. I would have to worry about leaking and the pain between pumping. Anderson had received almost four months of breast milk, which was more than most babies got now days. And the boy didn't seem to have any problem switching over to the bottle either. As long as he was able to get substance out of it, he didn't seem to care if the nipple was man-made or natural. Thankfully it had taken a couple of weeks to get my records from my old school in Oklahoma, which was just enough time to dry me up. I couldn't imagine anything more embarrassing in high school than leaking tits.

Emily glanced up at me with a smile. "You need to get ready or you'll be late for school."

I grimaced. "I've never left him with anyone. Ever."

"It will be ok. I'll give you my cell phone number before you leave and of course you have the house phone number. You can call whenever you want during the day and I'll answer. I have a lot of experience taking care of babies. Now go. Get ready."

I turned and trudged back to my room. I so did not want to leave my child. I'd had him at the beginning of my summer break, so this was a completely new experience for me, leaving him with someone. And it was even harder because I was leaving him with a stranger. John had vouched for her, saying that Emily was a wonderful, trustworthy person. When I got to my room and glanced at the clock I knew I had to get my ass into gear. I only had fifteen minutes left. I ran to my closet and pulled out a sundress and some flip flops. It took a lot less time to pull a dress over my head than it would to put on anything else. Then I ran to the bathroom, I brushed my teeth then pulled a brush through my straight hair and called it good. Back during my partying days I would spend a lot of time on makeup. Now that I had no interest in attracting boys, it took so much less time to get ready. I swiped on mascara and lip-gloss, just to keep myself from looking like I was half-asleep.

I grabbed my backpack and my keys and headed back out to the living room. Emily was sitting on the couch feeding Anderson. I paused, anxiety tearing through me again. I wasn't sure I could walk out the door. Emily sent me a reassuring smile.

"I wrote my cell phone number down on that slip of paper there by the door. Have a good day at school."

Finally, I tore myself away and drove to school. My stomach was in knots and I would kill for a cigarette. But I would not smoke in the car. Anderson had to ride in the car. The least I could do was keep my son from being exposed to the second-hand smoke while he was a passenger. As soon as I parked, I hopped out and lit up. I studied the school building. It was one story and long, giving it a very short appearance. The parking lot was about half full, with cars streaming in at an almost constant rate. I looked around for authority figures monitoring the parking lot, but apparently the school didn't have the desire or manpower to watch the students as they arrived. A good portion of them were smoking as they walked toward the building. The student body didn't look quite like the usual demographics I was used to. In fact, everyone I saw had the same dark skin and hair I saw every time I looked in the mirror. _Yeah, a reservation isn't really the place to go if you're looking for diversity, Dip-shit._

I wasn't really ready to walk into that school when I finished the cigarette, but I figured I didn't have much of a choice. It was going to happen eventually anyway, so I may as well get it over with. I hefted my backpack onto my shoulder and started walking. Thankfully the administration office was easy to find. It was right by the front door. I retrieved my schedule and locker location and headed for my first class. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw what it was. Sure, it was Advanced Spanish, but I was nearly fluent in the language, so it should be easy. The teacher used the few minutes before class started to fill me in on what the class had covered so far during the first few weeks of the semester and the syllabus for the remainder of the school year.

The whole time the teacher was talking to me I felt like I was being watched, which made sense. I was the new kid. Of course I was being watched. Everyone in the room was staring at me as they walked in. And they continued to stare at me as they took their seats. But there were a couple that were being a little weird about it. Every time I glanced up they looked away. And they were HUGE! They were like, Goliath huge. They were professional wrestler huge. What were they doing in high school? They looked like they should have graduated five years ago.

I took my book from the teacher and went to an empty seat, behind the giant twins. They weren't really twins of course. At least, I didn't think they were. They didn't look identical or anything. I pulled my attention away from their backs as the teacher began her lecture.

When class let out I moved down the hall toward my next class. I could see more of the giants at the end of the hall. How many of them were there? Were they all brothers? Cousins? On steroids? Actually, the steroids bit was probably fairly accurate. Wasn't there something about steroids making a person angry? I only wondered because as I watched one of the huge boys whipped his head around at something another one of them had said and suddenly they were in a fist fight, right there in the hallway. Two more of the boys were laughing as they tried to pull the fighters apart. It was possibly the most violent fight I had ever seen. The angry one was throwing his whole body into every punch, his face screwed up into a look of pure rage. His whole body was shaking he was so mad. The other boy wasn't much better. He'd been laughing when he'd said whatever set the other boy off, but now he was shaking too. But no one else in the hall seemed the least bit surprised by the outburst. Everyone just skirted around it and kept going, still wrapped up in their own conversations. I even saw a teacher keep walking, just shaking his head. What kind of school was this? Were fights this common-place? Or was it just these boys? Did they fight a lot?

As I walked toward the group of boys the friends managed to pull the two fighters completely off of each other. I glanced their way. Was it my imagination, or were the hulking giants all avoiding my eyes as I went by? That had to be all in my head. Right? I pushed the paranoia away and found my locker, depositing my Spanish book. Then I headed on toward my next class. The rest of my morning classes would be a little more difficult. I was intelligent and in theory shouldn't be too far behind since I'd been taking most of the same topics in Oklahoma. But I'd been more than a little preoccupied last semester with the whole pregnancy situation. And the fall semester hadn't started yet when I had hopped in the car and headed for Washington.

My last class before lunch was home economics and was close to the cafeteria, so I was the first to arrive and didn't have to wait in line. My stomach was in knots though, so I only grabbed an apple and a bottle of water. So far, I hadn't talked to any of the other students. If this school was anything like the one I'd left behind, then each table would have a regular group of people who sat there every day. As I exited the lunch line I looked around again, hoping for an empty table. My eyes fell across a table full of the giants. As soon as my gaze landed on them their heads all jerked down so that they could stare at the table. Ok, _that_ was not my imagination. What the hell?

I was too creeped out by their odd behavior to stay in the cafeteria. So I chose to walk the halls instead while I ate my apple. The students I passed all whispered and tried to study me covertly while I walked by. It was disconcerting, but not wholly unfamiliar. Pregnancy wasn't exactly rare in the school I'd come from, but it was still a scandal to whisper over.

It wasn't long after I finished my apple that I began to crave a cigarette. _I wonder if there is a safe place to smoke on campus? Every school has someplace the students sneak off to smoke, doesn't it?_ This was a closed campus, so the teachers would probably be monitoring the parking lot. It was a safe bet the secret smoking location wasn't inside the building so I headed for a set of glass doors on the side of the building I had just seen a student leave through. That seemed like the most promising place to start my search. I walked outside, wondering if anyone was going to try to stop me. No one did, so I slipped around the side of the building, heading in the opposite direction of the parking lot.

The first thing I noticed was the cinder-block construction butting up to the back of the building. I would bet money that the air conditioning units were hidden behind that wall. There was a convenient little opening too, that was unbarred. _That's the perfect spot._ I peered into the enclosure carefully, to make sure I wasn't walking into anything private, or a teacher's smoke break. But the only people occupying it were three male students. Three more of those fucking giants. They were everywhere! I avoided their eyes as I slipped into the enclosure and pulled a cigarette out of my jean-jacket pocket. I patted the pockets and frowned. Where had I left my lighter? I had it this morning in the parking lot.

I had a flash of memory, lighting my cigarette and tossing the lighter into the car before closing the door. Perfect. Someone may not be monitoring the campus closely, but I knew they would be watching the parking lot. "Fuck."

I glanced at the three others huddled in the corner. They were muttering softly to each other, not looking my way. "Hey, do you guys have a lighter?"

None of them looked my way. Pricks. I watched them for a moment, but they didn't appear like they were going to acknowledge me. With a grunt of annoyance I took the cigarette out of my mouth and opened the pack to slip it back in. This was going to be a very long afternoon.

"Fucking paranoid pussies." One of the boys in the corner muttered before digging in his pocket.

He turned to me with narrowed eyes and an outstretched hand. To my surprise it was the boy who had attacked his friend in the hallway earlier in the day, and he was holding a lighter out to me. I stared at him in shock for a moment before reaching for the lighter.

"Thanks." I grabbed the lighter and used it quickly before holding it out toward him.

He had been checking my body out as I lit the cigarette, so I felt perfectly justified in the doing the same. And damn the boy was fine. He looked like a cage fighter, all hard muscles with a dangerous air to him. He was several inches over six feet, making me feel tiny at five feet six. He had the dark hair, eyes and skin of everyone else on the reservation. He was wearing cut off shorts and a simple black t-shirt that was stretched almost beyond its limits. And I could see tattoo ink peeking out from under the edge of one of the sleeves. _ Yummy. _ If I had met him a year ago I would have already jumped him. Hell, there was a part of me that was drooling over him and imagining him naked right now. Thankfully that part was safely locked away.

He reached for the lighter and as he did his angry eyes flitted up to mine. Then they froze. The anger seemed to drain out of them to be replaced with something I couldn't quite describe. If I had to try I guess I would say it was awe.

"I'm Paul." He said quietly, slowly taking the lighter.

I puffed on my cigarette. _Why is he staring at me like that?_ "Jenna."

He frowned at the cigarette as I took another hit. "Those things will kill you. Give you cancer."

I cocked an eyebrow at him. "You had the lighter. You telling me you don't smoke?"

He shook his head. "I…I just burn shit."

_Huh. Well that's not exactly the kind of response that screams normal and well adjusted._

I expected him to walk back to his friends, but he just stood there, staring at me. He watched my mouth as I took the next hit off the cigarette. His eyes seemed to darken and fill with lust as I wrapped my lips around the filter. Damn if that wasn't the sexiest look I had ever been on the receiving end of. He took a step closer. _You should probably back up now, Jenna._ But I didn't. Something about this boy pulled me toward him, made me want to step closer to him.

I don't know who took the next step. Who initiated it. But suddenly I was in his arms and we were making out. I have no idea how it happened. But it was the most amazing feeling I had ever had. Vaguely I heard his friends saying something about going to the cafeteria. Then we were alone and Paul, that was his name, right? Paul was hiking me up onto a little wall that ran around the air conditioning units. And then my legs were around him and his tongue was in my mouth and his hands were all over me.

Ten minutes later I stumbled out of the enclosure and rushed to the girl's room to clean myself up. Shame filled me as I realized what I had just done. I had come to Washington to get away from my old life, to turn a new leaf. And what had I done? I hadn't even made it through one day of school and I found the hottest guy there and had fucked him right out in the open, where anyone could have walked in on us.

I was still a whore.

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**PPOV**

Only I could fuck up meeting my imprint within the first five minutes. Literally. I ran my hands through my hair, then gripped the back of my neck tightly. I was leaning forward, staring at the ground, trying to make sense of what had just happened. One minute, I'm bull-shitting with Quill and Embry, and then John's niece walks in and asks for a damn lighter, to light her fucking cigarette. Since the two pussies were too scared to look at her, I offered her mine and BAM, I'm a goner. I'm tied to her for life. If one of them had offered their lighter, would they be in this position? Or was it just me? Was she the perfect mate for any wolf? Or was she perfect for just me? The wolf in me tried to claw its way to the surface at the thought of any of the others laying a hand on her. No, she was all mine.

Or she had been anyway. For ten glorious minutes she was all mine. Then she ran. We'd had the best sex of my life, and let me tell you, I've fucked a lot of girls. It had been over too fast, but that was part of what made it so good, the passion. The intensity. Then she'd gotten this really weird look on her face, like I'd asked her to eat shit, and then she'd just bolted. What had I done wrong? _Uh, you fucked her before you knew her last name? You didn't even talk to her first? You didn't take her out on a date first? You didn't tell her that she's the most important person to you in this world and always will be? That you'll be faithful for the rest of your life? Any of this ringing a bell?_ I was such a fucking moron.

Shit. She was never going to talk to me again. I had to do some damage control. I had to find her and get her to talk to me. I had to explain myself to her. I didn't know how I was going to do that though. I mean, it was a little early on to be springing the whole fur-ball deal on her. How was I going to convince her that I was serious about her without seeming like a crazy stalker? I'd only known her for ten minutes. I _couldn't_ explain how serious I was about her. The best I could do was apologize for jumping her and ask if we could be friends. My lip curled. Friends. That word hurt. But I had a feeling that was the best I could hope for, and that was a long shot after the look she had given me as she ran away.

The warning bell rang. Fuck. Sam had warned me that if I missed any more classes while I wasn't on patrol he would give me extra night shifts. And the bastard was checking up on me too. The school administrators were in on our little secret. All Sam had to do was call them up and check my attendance records. I had to go to class. I would just have to find Jenna later. Not that it would be too hard. I could feel her now. There was a little pull in my chest, pointing in her direction. It tugged the slightest bit harder as I passed the girl's bathroom as I made my way toward my next class. I _would _find her after class and I would get her to talk to me. I would explain to the best of my abilities and we would work this out. We had to.

* * *

**AN: I was trying to figure out where this fit into the books. I'm going to play with the time lines, because I want to. We're going to say the wolves all phased earlier than they did in the books and that we're in New Moon, around the time the Cullens left.**

**Hmm..I can already tell that parts of this one are going to be difficult to write. Some of the abuse scenes will be basically transcripts from my childhood, and others will be from my imagination, and some will be a combo. I will not be going into graphic detail though. Kids read this shit, regardless of the rating, well, probably because of the rating. I'll probably take longer to update, due to dealing with the difficult subject matter. Just fair warning there. I'm in the mood to get some of this shit _out _though, you know? That happens with us creative types.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**Disclaimer= SM^Twilight**

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Jenna POV**

I splashed my face with water, trying to clean off the tear tracks. With shaky hands I used a handful of paper towels to dry myself. _If I ever need cheap sandpaper, I know where to find it now._ I tossed the wadded up towels into the trash before finally looked up into the mirror. The overhead florescent lighting wasn't helping matters any, but I looked horrible. _Well at least I look as bad as I feel._

What the hell was wrong with me? How could I fuck some random stranger? I didn't even know his last name. We didn't even talk to each other. This was a new low for me. At least back in Oklahoma I'd always had the excuse of being high or drunk. I had no excuse this time. We introduced ourselves and then just went at it. We didn't really even wait until we were alone. I had the feeling that if his friends hadn't left on their own they would have gotten their own private porn show. I disgusted myself. I felt like throwing up.

The warning bell interrupted my self-abuse. For a long moment I stared at myself in the mirror and considered going home. But that wasn't a feasible option. This was my first day in school. I couldn't be caught ditching. Especially since John was trying to get guardianship of me. He had a meeting with a lawyer in Seattle the next day to discuss the matter and he had already warned me that I had to be on my best behavior to help matters along. It would already look bad enough that I had just taken off from the neighbor's house where the Oklahoma Department of Human Services had stuck me. But the neighbors hadn't really wanted me there anyway. They were glad to see me go. They hadn't even reported me missing. My note explaining where I had gone was good enough for them. When John contacted them to reassure them that I had made it to his house safely, he was offended to learn that they had already written me off. Apparently they had been planning to wait until just before it was time for DHS to check in on me again before reporting me as a run away, so they could continue to receive their monthly support from the state. Their plans were ruined as soon as John started looking into guardianship.

With a sigh I grabbed my bag and went in search of my Calculus class. This was going to be my hardest class. I had never enjoyed math. Math was always difficult for me to grasp the first time it was explained. With Anderson to care for, I knew that the class was going to be a struggle, because I was going to have even less time to study. When I finally found the class, with seconds to spare before the tardy bell rang, I barely managed to hold in the mortified groan. _He_ was in the same class. Paul. My fuck-buddy from lunch. Thankfully there was an empty seat across the room from him.

All through the class I could feel Paul's eyes on me. He didn't stop staring at me the entire class. Even when the teacher called on him to answer a question he looked at me. Somehow he got the answer right, but he kept his eyes on me. It was a struggle to keep my attention on my book or ahead on the white board. The masochist inside me wanted to turn and look at the gorgeous boy I could see from the corner of my eye. But I could not cross that line. The lunch time extra-curricular activities had to be a one-time occurrence. I could not allow myself to slip into my old habits. I may have been a whore at lunch but I would not remain one. From this point on I was going to be a goody-two-shoes. I was going to be little miss perfect. Well, except for the smoking.

When the bell rang I bolted. I had the feeling Paul would try to talk to me and I had no interest in anything he had to say. What if he wanted a repeat performance? He certainly wouldn't want anything else out of me. Guys did not want real relationships out of girls they fucked before they'd even had a conversation. Besides, I didn't want a relationship with anyone. I couldn't have a relationship. I had to take care of Anderson. I couldn't be having boys in and out of his life. The romantic part of my life was on the back burner until my son was grown. He was the priority now.

I dropped my Calculus book off at my locker, checked my schedule for the next room number and went in search of my English class. I was studying the numbers above the doors when I felt a hot arm slide over my shoulders. I cringed and turned to find one of the giants grinning down at me. I immediately tensed, expecting Paul. After a split second I realized it wasn't him. It was probably one of his buddies though.

"Hey, I'm Quil. Welcome to the gang."

I frowned. _Welcome to the gang? What the fuck? Are they expecting to pass me around? _

I started pushing him away. "Get the hell off me. I don't even know you."

"What the fuck, Quil?" An angry voice yelled from a few feet away. Paul was standing half-way down the hallway. The expression on his face was absolutely furious. It was terrifying. _What is he so mad about now?_

Quil's eyes widened. "Shit."

Paul charged. I stepped back and watched as Paul tackled Quil. Holy shit. He was in another fight. This was the second fight I was witnessing this boy in today alone. How many fights had he gotten into that I _hadn't_ seen? I felt heat on my arm and suddenly I was being dragged away from the writhing bodies on the ground. Glancing to the side I saw a large grinning boy pulling me away.

"You don't want to stand that close. You might get sucked in. Paul would be fucking pissed if you got hurt." He explained.

I frowned. Why would Paul care? He didn't even know me. I turned back to the fight. Paul was wailing on Quil. But Quil wasn't really fighting back. He was just trying to stop Paul.

"Dude, I was just saying hi!" He said while trying to block a punch. "I wasn't hitting on your girl, I swear."

His girl? _His _girl? Fuck that. I turned and stalked away. I was _not_ Paul's girl. Asshole had no right to claim me as his just because of a one-night stand, er…one-lunch stand. Whatever. I found my English class and took an empty seat in the back, still fuming. What was wrong with that damn boy? He didn't even know me. Why was he getting so possessive of me?

People were looking at me funny. My face was no doubt broadcasting my feelings. I ducked my head and studied the syllabus. I sneered. We were reading Romeo and Juliet and the Great Gatsby. I had already read them and hated both. One, I thought Romeo and Juliet were both fucking stupid for killing themselves. Get over it. Surely they would eventually find someone else to love. It's not like there was just one great love out there for everyone. Soul mates don't really exist people. And the Great Gatsby? It was supposed to be filled with symbolism but I thought it was all a load of crap. People should stop digging for the hidden meaning in life. Sometimes there wasn't anything hidden to find. Sometimes what you saw was what you got.

Two minutes after the tardy bell rang the door jerked open and my least favorite person walked in. Of course Paul would be in this class. And of course the only empty seat left would be right next to me. His clothes were wrinkled and torn and his hair was all crazy from the fight. He didn't look like he had any real damage from it though. Not that I was looking that closely of course. But there was no blood or obvious signs of damage.

He settled in the seat next to me and leaned my way. "Hey. Can we talk?"

I ignored him, keeping my eyes on the teacher. Who happened to look our way, probably having heard Paul's not so quiet question.

"Mr. Meraz, I do believe I'm the one being paid to speak right now." _Yes, he definitely heard Paul._

Everyone turned to see Paul still leaned toward me. I felt the blood pooling in my cheeks as all eyes landed on Paul and me. I turned narrowed eyes on him. I hated being the center of attention. _Thanks so much, Asshole._

He grinned at me.

I turned back to the teacher and vowed not to look at Paul ever again. Once again I had to sit through an entire class with Paul's attention glued to me. This time he was close enough that I could hear him breathing. It was the strangest thing, but I swear after only a couple minutes our breathing synchronized. I tried to stop it. I tried to alternate when I took breaths, but when I stopped thinking about it, it always went back to the same pattern as his. I frowned. _Did he just laugh?_

A large tan hand slipped into my field of vision and dropped a folded sheet of paper on my desk. I opened it slowly. CAN WE TALK AFTER SCHOOL?

I considered. What could he want to talk about? The only thing I could imagine him wanting to talk about was setting up a time and place for a repeat performance of lunch and that just was not going to happen. I grabbed my pencil and quickly scribbled on the paper. I HAVE SOMEWHERE TO BE RIGHT AFTER SCHOOL. I folded it and waited for the teacher to turn back to the white board before passing it back to him.

I saw his shoulders slump out of the corner of my eye. Well too bad for him. He could find some other way to get laid. He was hot enough, it shouldn't be too hard to find someone willing. Half the female population in the school was probably throwing themselves at his feet. They had to be. My mind flashed back to the episode at lunch. Holy fuck, if they had ever been with him they would be throwing money at his feet for a repeat performance. He was amazing. I squirmed in my seat, suddenly overheated and uncomfortable.

Paul's head jerked up and I swear he sniffed. I think he even groaned. I glanced his way out of the corner of my eye. He was gripping the edge of his desk, leaning toward me. He looked like he wanted to jump out of his chair and take me right there in front of everyone. Damn that was sexy. _Dammit, __focus! You will not do that again! Think about Anderson. Think about explaining to Anderson how you behaved today!_ That worked like a charm, like a bucket of ice water.

The bell rang and I ran again. I could feel Paul hot on my heels. How could I literally feel his presence? It was like my own personal Paul GPS unit installed right in my chest. I would guess he was about five feet behind me. I hazarded a glance behind me and jumped a little. He was only three feet back, staring straight at me. I jerked my head back around to watch where I was going. The unit must be a little defective. Maybe I should take it back and exchange it for another. Better yet, maybe I could just hand it back in? Say I didn't want it? I didn't recall asking for it in the first place after all!

I made it to my locker and started entering my combination with shaky hands. Paul leaned up next to me, far too close as I yanked it open.

"We really do need to talk." His voice was husky and deep, sending a shiver down my spine.

I barely contained a whimper. _Think of Anderson._ "I don't see why."

"You will after we talk."

I shoved all of my books into my bag, deciding that I would leave as soon as PE released. That way I had less of a chance of running into Paul again. I slammed my locker shut and met his eyes again. My brain drained of all thought as soon as our eyes met. He had gorgeous eyes. They were so dark and his lashes were so long. His hair was short and it looked so soft. I just wanted to reach up and touch it. I had vague memories of running my hands through it earlier. My hands twitched, wanting to repeat the action.

Anderson, I had to think of my son and what was best for him.

"I don't see why we need to talk. What happened at lunch…that was a mistake. It shouldn't have happened." My sight started to blur as tears filled my eyes, but not before I noticed the pain that flashed through his eyes. What? Why would that statement hurt him? "I have to get to class."

I shoved past him and headed for the gym. He didn't follow this time.

Gym class was uneventful. I was an average performer when it came to physical education. I had never been the first to be picked for any sports team, but I was far from the last. I could hold my own in basketball and dodge-ball and I was decent in softball. As soon as class was over I made my way to my truck as quickly as I could, anxious to get home. The sooner I was home the sooner I could hold my son, and I wouldn't have to worry about Paul cornering me again either. Unless he was crazy enough to follow me to John's house. Surely he wouldn't do that though? For the first time I had doubts about staying in the house alone all week, but I shoved the anxiety aside.

As soon as I got home I rushed to pick up Anderson, not even caring that he was asleep and I might wake him up. Emily chuckled quietly from the doorway as I kissed his forehead and gently placed him back in his crib. I stood there for a long moment watching him before I left the room. I shut the door behind me and turned to her.

"How was he?"

She smiled and once again I had to school my features not to react to the scars. "He was great. He really is the happiest little boy. And you're right he's a good eater."

I laughed. "He does love his food. I can't imagine what it's going to be like to feed him as a teenager."

"You should see my boys. It's like feeding an army."

"Oh? How many kids do you have?" She looked so young. I hadn't even realized that she had kids of her own.

She laughed again, pulling a smile from me. Her happiness was contagious and when she was smiling and happy it was like the scars weren't even there. She was gorgeous. "They aren't really mine. It's just a group of teenage boys that hang out at my house. They eat like pigs. It's impossible to keep them full. In fact, I'd better get home and start cooking or they'll come looking for me."

"Well, thank you. I'll see you in the morning I guess."

She nodded and headed out the door. I looked around, wondering what to do first. The house was clean, cleaner then when I'd left for school. Emily must have worked on it while Anderson had napped. I threw together the ingredients for enchiladas and put it in the oven to bake while I worked on homework. I had everything except my math complete by the time my food was done. I ate quickly and then stored everything in freezer containers. By then Anderson was waking up. I fed him and changed him. Then I played with him for awhile. He was finally at the stage where he was playing back. It was so much fun. He was smiling and cooing, waving his little arms around. I had missed him so much all day. Tears started to leak from my eyes. How was I going to go walk away from my son the next morning? It was hard enough the first time. How was I going to face another day at school? The place where I had shamed both myself and my son?

* * *

**Paul POV**

I raised the bottle to my lips, guzzling. It was pointless really. I hadn't been able to obtain so much as a buzz from alcohol since I first phased. It wasn't like I even liked the taste of the beer. It had to be a programmed response. When I was depressed, I drank. And I was fucking depressed. My imprint didn't want to talk to me. She blew me off. She thought sleeping with me was a mistake. It felt like a knife in the fucking gut.

The front door opened and James, my father, stumbled in. I eyed him warily as he made his way past me toward the kitchen. His moods were unpredictable, and I never knew one day to the next what he would do when he came home. If he came home. What was the luck of the draw today? Would he attack me for drinking his beer? Or would he sit down and start chatting about baseball stats, even though it wasn't baseball season and I had never liked the sport? I knew I could handle myself if he attacked. Hell, I could take out a bloodsucker. James was certainly no problem. The issue would be stopping myself from killing him. That was always the issue. I had a lot of bitterness built up toward the man and it was damn hard reigning it in when opportunity to unleash it arose.

My father walked to the fridge and retrieved two beers. He made his way back to the living room, dropping a beer in my lap as he passed. He must be in a good mood. His eyes roamed up and down my face for a moment before he turned to the TV.

"Someone piss in your Wheaties this morning?"

If I thought he actually cared I would explain to him what was going on with Jenna. But I knew that he didn't care. And if I did make the mistake of sharing any important information with him he would just taunt me with it later. This was how James worked. It wasn't how he always was though. Back before my mother died he'd been a good man. But the grief had been hard on him. All of the goodness in James had died along with his wife. I would have been much better off if he had been in that car with her.

A coaster whizzed through the air. I dodged my head to the side and it thunked harmlessly against the couch cushion behind me.

"I was talking to you, Boy." His good mood was quickly evaporating.

I knew I didn't have the control to get into a fight with him today. "Sorry. Didn't hear you."

"I said you're pouting like a pussy over there. Why are you crying, Princess?" His voice held a sneer now.

I worked to keep my own tone even. "Just struggling in some classes, Dad. Maybe I should go work on my homework. Try to keep my grades up."

"Yeah, maybe you should." James retorted. "And leave the beer."

I slammed my half-finished beer and the one he had brought to me down on the table beside him before rushing to my room. I could feel myself shaking. I was almost too far gone already, just from a few harsh words. If he hit me just one time I was going to lose it. And my temper was too far gone tonight. I knew I would kill him. There wasn't going to be any studying going on tonight. As soon as I closed and locked my bedroom door I moved to the window, slid it open and slipped out of the house. I had to get away before I did anything I would regret later. I wouldn't necessarily regret James being out of my life, but covering up a murder wasn't something I wanted to put on the pack. And the younger guys in the pack shouldn't have to live with those memories either.

Everything in me started pulling me toward John's house and my imprint. But then my protective instincts kicked in. I was too angry to go anywhere near her. She would be in danger right now. Besides, she didn't want to have anything to do with me. I had to find a way to ease her into a friendship with me. I walked into the woods and started brainstorming. How was I going to get her to accept me? Especially after royally fucking up today? First, I would have to get her used to my presence. Kind of like they did with wild animals when the trainers just hung out around them without really approaching them, I would have to acclimate her to my presence without trying to engage her in conversation. It would be best if I had a few of the guys with me at all times, so it didn't appear that I was stalking her. Of course, I was stalking the shit out of the girl. But she didn't have to know that. Plus, that had the added benefit of easing the ache in my chest by keeping me in close proximity to my imprint.

Maybe after enough time she would see that I wasn't that bad of a guy. Maybe with the guys around she would let us start talking to her, in a group setting. Then I could possible get her to start talking to me in class. If we talked enough in class, she might be willing to go out with me sometime. _And then __you can hold hands, and skip, and she'll be yours forever! You sound like a fucking pussy!_ I growled and kicked a log out of my way. This girl had me twisted up worse than Jared or Sam had ever been. Those pricks had it easy. Their imprints loved them. Yeah, fuck, so Sam had trouble at first with the whole Emily and Leah being cousins and Emily not wanting to betray her family bond thing. But Emily came around eventually. Sam had wanted love though. He'd already been in love and accepted that he loved another person. I had never wanted to fall in love. And here I was, my heart pounded at the thought of Jenna's smile. I had never wanted this. My heart and body were reacting against my will. It fucking sucked. Fate sucked. But fuck, fate picked an awesome girl to shackle me to. _There you go again, Pussy. Getting all light headed and mushy just thinking about her._

Dammit. I couldn't help myself. I was already in too deep. I turned and headed toward Sam's house. Maybe some of the guys would be there. They would be willing to help me win Jenna's trust. Most of them hadn't personally experienced what I was going through with the whole imprinting thing, but they could all feel echoes of it through the mind-link when we phased. And we were a pack, we helped each other out like that. That's just what brother's did.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**Disclaimer –SM owns Twilight**

**

* * *

**I heated up my lunch in the microwave in home-ec, but once the bell rang releasing us from class, I was frozen. Where was I supposed to eat? I still didn't have friends. If I went to the cafeteria I would take the risk of sitting at an empty table only to be kicked out by the table's regular residents. Or I would be stuck sitting there with complete strangers. I wasn't sure I wanted to sit with strangers. My only other options were to roam the halls, or try to find another spot to eat. How pathetic was I?

The stress of trying to figure out where I was going to eat made me crave a cigarette. That made up my mind for me. I was going to eat in the smoking spot. Fuck Paul and his friends. Not literally of course. That was exactly where I had gone wrong the day before. Today I was going to try the opposite approach. I was going to _not_ fuck Paul, or any of his friends for that matter.

Nervously I made my way to the smoking spot, gearing myself up for walking in on them. Only, when I arrived, there was no one else there. I breathed a sigh of relief and settled myself on the little cement wall. A blush spread up my cheeks as I remembered what I had been doing on that wall the day before. But the ground was damp from a small rain shower that morning, so I couldn't sit on the ground without looking like I had peed my pants.

I pulled out the tribal history book and set it carefully on the ledge next to me so I could study as I ate. The history class was a required class to graduate from the reservation school. Most students took the class as freshmen, but since I had transferred in, I had to take it now. I was the oldest person in the class, surrounded by freshmen. There were three of the giants in that class. And they were walking into the enclosure with Paul. All four guys glanced at me, then quickly looked away.

Nerves shot through me again as I met Paul's eyes. I felt the pull in my chest strengthen. For a moment I had the strangest impulse to get up and run into his arms. How crazy was that? It wasn't like he was my soldier lover who'd just returned from fighting oversees. I didn't know this boy. I had no reason to run into his arms like we were lovers who had been separated for months. He was a great fuck, but that's all he was to me. It was done and over and it wasn't going to happen again. I had to stop thinking about him.

I turned my attention back to my book and forced myself to ignore them. I didn't let myself listen to them as they talked about some girl named Bella, who they had rescued from the woods recently. Or how worried they were about her. Apparently her boyfriend had dumped her and they were scared she was going to do something stupid over it, like suicide stupid. And their friend Jake would lose it if anything happened to Bella because he was not so secretly in love with her. But like I said, I wasn't listening to any of it. I was studying the Quileute history, which was all bullshit as far as I could tell. The teacher may as well have handed me a book of fairy tales.

In Calculus Paul moved seats so he could sit next to me. I was sure he was going to start pestering me to talk to him again. Instead he ignored me. I watched him from the corner of my eye for the entire class period, missing all of the lecture in the process. But he never once tried to speak to me. He never tried to pass me any notes. We were doing that weird breathing in the same rhythm thing and leaning toward each other thing again though. Even being fully aware of it, I couldn't seem to help myself. It was highly irritating.

English was a repeat of Calculus. Except I was called on to answer a question. Thankfully the question was displayed on the board and I wasn't completely mentally challenged when it came to English. I was able to answer without too much of a pause. I still looked dumb, for not being able to answer immediately, but at least I was able to answer correctly at all. This time when I left the class, Paul didn't follow me. I had to lecture myself when I felt an odd little pang of disappointment.

* * *

"Hey, wait up!"

I slipped out of the classroom, leaving Spanish and heading on to my History class. I didn't think anything of the person calling out behind me, assuming that the football player was talking to someone else. He had no reason to talk to me. Then he appeared beside me.

"Hey, Jessa, right? Why didn't you wait up?"

"It's Jenna." I ignored his question. If he didn't even know my name, then I didn't think I had any reason to answer his questions.

"Oh." He seemed momentarily put off by my correction. Then he grinned, his expression hopeful. "I'm taking you out on a date after the football game on Friday."

I frowned at him. "No, you aren't."

His grin widened as he attempted to turn up the charm. "Come on. It'll be fun."

"I'm not interested." I said as I reached my locker, turning my back on him to dial my combination. I hoped he would get the point and walk away.

He didn't.

Instead, he put his hand on my shoulder and leaned in. "Jenna, we could have a lot of fun. More fun than you've been having with Sam's gang at lunch."

I whirled around. "Excuse me?"

The football player's face was no longer hopeful. Now his grin was spiteful and his eyes were narrowed. "Yeah, everyone knows you've been sneaking off with three or four guys at a time. Your problem is you're messing around with boys. You need a man, Baby."

I didn't even think about what I was doing until after I heard the slap and saw the red of my handprint across his face. "Don't ever speak to me again."

I spun around and grabbed my history book before slamming my locker. Keeping my head held high I walked to class, well aware that everyone I passed within sight was staring and whispering. By the time I reached my seat in class I was shaking from the adrenaline let-down. Of course two of the three giants had to be there already. And like always, they were studying my every move. What was up with these guys? I was in no mood to deal with them.

I turned in my seat and glared at them. "What the hell are you guys looking at?"

The girl sitting on the other side of one of them snickered. "I'd be careful if I was you, Brady. She just slapped the shit out of Shane Peltier."

The two boy's eyes widened and they turned back to me. "Shit, are you ok? Did he do anything to you?"

I frowned. "I'm fine. Why?"

Brady's brother shook his head. "Nothing."

Brady chuckled, sitting back. "So what'd that shit-for-brains do this time?"

The girl next to him leaned forward, apparently having no problem sticking her nose into other people's business. "He was getting kind of nasty with her when she wouldn't go on a date with him."

Brady shook his head. "Then he has it coming."

_That sounds ominous. Has what coming?_

And what the hell? I leaned forward to see the girl a little more clearly around The Hulk. "Can you please butt the hell out of my personal business?"

Brady's brother laughed as the girl huffed, crossing her arms. Brady just sent me a look, like he didn't approve of my actions. As if I cared whether he approved or not. This was my personal life the two of them were discussing.

I was aware of whispering as soon as I walked into my Biology class. It was inevitable. Football players were universally popular, or at least feared. Being the new girl, I had been asking for trouble when I turned him down. Slapping him had been social suicide. Not that I had wanted a social life to begin with. So the whispers didn't actually bother me. The staring I could do without. That was highly irritating, and it was worse by the time I exited my Home Ec class with my re-heated enchiladas.

To make my day even better, it was raining, which meant I wasn't going to be eating outside. As soon as I stepped out of the classroom I felt as if all eyes in the hall zeroed in on me. My back stiffened. If I went into that cafeteria, everyone would be staring at me, talking about me. I could avoid that by finding a nice, quiet spot to eat. I could hide. Like a coward.

_I'm not a fucking coward._

I walked into the cafeteria with my head held high. I hadn't brought a drink so I went through the line, grabbing a juice. Then I made my way to a table in the back of the room, aware of the whispers that followed me. Avoiding the eyes that were watching me, but being careful not to sulk, I set my things out on the table and began to eat, reading my history book as I did.

I had put so much effort into ignoring the rude people around me that it took me a moment to realize that the noises filtering through my concentration were very close to me. Glancing up, I saw that the table had filled around me. Paul and a large number of his buddies were sitting with me. My eyes widened. This might be _all_ of his over-sized friends. The table was full. None of them had been looking at me, until I raised my head from my book, but now that I was looking at them Brady turned to me with a grin.

"So has the asshole jock given you any more problems?"

Paul jerked around in his chair, squealing the feet along the linoleum flooring. "What? Who's giving her problems?"

Brady's brother (Collin?) leaned forward with a grin. "Shane Peltier. Jessa had to get a little physical with him earlier when he wouldn't take no for an answer."

The atmosphere at the table became tense as all of Paul's friends began looking between him and me. Paul's eyes immediately studied me up and down. "Are you ok? Did he hurt you?"

Was Shane some type of serial girl basher? First Brady and now Paul had asked the same thing.

I rolled my eyes. "It's not that big a deal. He insulted me so I slapped him. I'm a big girl. I can take care of myself."

Deciding that I had definitely had enough of this conversation, I turned back to my history book and shoved another forkful of enchiladas into my mouth.

Whichever one of Paul's friends was sitting next to me leaned in close, sniffing loudly. He groaned. "Oh man, that smells so fucking good. A lot better than this shit the cafeteria serves. How much would it cost to trade?"

Well, that was oh so tempting, especially after his glowing recommendation of the cafeteria food.

His hulking presence was there one second and gone the next as Paul grabbed his arm and jerked him away. "Lay off, let her eat in fucking peace."

Yes, it was so very peaceful now that they had joined me.

I spent the rest of the lunch period trying to block their noisy conversation. It was difficult to concentrate on the text in front of me. Especially when they would get too animated, causing the whole table to jerk, making the words dance in front of my eyes. Although I didn't quite manage to ignore them completely, I did succeed in avoiding any further interaction with them.

A few minutes before lunch was over I packed up my things and left the table. I didn't want to be caught up in leaving the lunch room with Paul. Since we had the next class together, it would look like we were walking together, like we were friends. And our close proximity would only encourage him to talk to me, something I had no interest in facilitating. No matter how hot he was, or how much I had dreamed about him the night before.

As I was walking out of the cafeteria doorway, someone bumped against me, shoving me roughly into the doorway as he pushed roughly past me. I flinched as my arm made contact with the metal door frame. Looking up, I saw the back of a letterman's jacket.

A boy I had never seen before turned to me with a sneer. "Watch where you're going, Slut."

I shouldn't have been surprised. I had turned down a member of the football team, and I had done it publicly and probably embarrassed him as well, slapping him like that. He had to get back at me. What better way then by enlisting the entire football team to help him? I could probably expect a lot more of this type of behavior in the future. I would have to be on the lookout for those lettermen jackets from now on. Every jock would be a potential threat. Of course I would turn all of the athletes against me during my first week.

I had only taken a couple more steps before I saw a form dart past out of the corner of my eye. All of sudden Paul was tackling the jock who had shoved me, slamming the other boy into the ground. The boy twisted as he fell, so that he was facing his attacker. Then Paul was throwing punches, punches the other boy was failing miserably at deflecting. In a matter of seconds he had blood flowing from his nose and mouth. His eyes were already swelling up.

Then several of Paul's friends were dragging the swearing boy off of the jock, pulling him outside. Several of them were shooting worried glances all around, probably looking for any adults who could punish Paul for his attack. Brady broke off from the group hauling Paul outside and jogged up to me.

"You ok?"

I frowned, looking down at the boy. He was unconscious. "I'm a lot better than he is. Why'd Paul snap like that?"

Brady's eyebrows went up. "We were behind you. We saw what Sean did and heard what he said."

I pointed at the boy. "He didn't deserve _that_."

I studied the boy on the ground again, vaguely aware that people were beginning to crowd around. If this was how Paul reacted when he saw someone shove me, then I was glad I had made the decision not to let Paul any further into my life. Paul was clearly unbalanced. Something wasn't right with that boy and I did not need that kind of crazy in my life and certainly not around my son. I needed to stay the hell away from Paul Meraz.

* * *

**Paul POV**

Alpha or not, if Sam thought I was going to let some punk-ass boys who liked to play with balls push my Jenna around, well, he could go fuck himself. I was not cool with that. No one was going to lay his hands on my girl. No one was going to talk to her like that. They weren't even going to look at her funny as long as I was around.

And that was why Jared and Embry had to drag me out of the school before the first bell even rang Thursday morning. I saw a prick in a letterman's jacket knock into her as he passed her locker, causing her to drop her books and hit her head on the open door of her locker. Heat had rolled through my body and I had lost it. I was actually surprised I hadn't phased. Somehow I had stayed in my human form as I rushed the fucker. Jared and Embry hadn't been paying attention or they would have stopped me before I even reached him. They grabbed me before I could do too much damage but hopefully I had at least given him a concussion.

"Paul, you have to calm down or go home!" Jared ordered.

I glared at him. "I can't leave her in there with them!"

"We'll keep an eye on the situation, make sure it doesn't get too serious."

"Too serious! He made her hit her head! We should be in there making sure she's not dizzy and shit, not out here wasting time."

Embry rolled his eyes. "Calm down. She barely brushed the locker with her forehead. You're just freaking cause she's your imprint. Since I don't turn into a giant pussy when I see her, I can tell by looking that she's just fine."

Jared crossed his arms and studied me. "Are you calm enough to go back in there, or do you need to leave?"

The thought of being at home while Jenna was stuck in that building with a whole team full of bastards just waiting to torment her was infuriating. I had to control myself, for her sake. I had to find a way to get the point across to them that if they messed with her, I was coming after them. I had to make them stop bothering her before I lost it and went too far with one of them. It would be too easy to lose control and kill one of them. My strength was ridiculous in comparison to theirs. A fight between us was like a fight between an MMA fighter and a six year old.

"I can handle it."

Jared eyed me warily. He knew I was saying what I had to in order to get back into that building. For a moment I was worried he would order me home. Jared had a higher place in the pack. He had the authority to order me home. He didn't generally pull rank like that, but for a long moment there I was sure he was about to. Then he nodded.

All morning I rushed from my classes, trying to get myself as close to Jenna's locker as possible by the time she got there, to make sure the jocks didn't bother her. They didn't make any attempts while I was there, but her appearance troubled me. She looked like she was being harassed while I wasn't around. Her eyes were narrowed and her mouth was pinched. She had little frown lines in her forehead and her shoulders were hunched forward. Her whole body was tense, like she was waiting for someone to come up behind her and try something. It made me angry all over again.

I relaxed a little during lunch. The weather was good. It was a safe bet that my girl would hide behind the school to eat. I chuckled to myself. The guys were getting a little sick of that little air conditioning box. The day I met Jenna was the first day we'd been back there, because we had needed a place to talk about a pack matter. We probably never would have gone back if I hadn't been looking for the girl again the next day. Now I was guaranteed to be there every day when the weather allowed, as long as Jenna preferred it to the cafeteria.

I could feel the pull in my chest as we neared the rear of the school, so I knew she was there already. I could smell the food too. She had the enchiladas again. They smelled fucking amazing. I couldn't wait until she accepted me and I could eat her cooking. If her food tasted anything like it smelled I was going to be a very happy man. If she ever accepted me that is.

Lunch was slow, wonderful torture. She was right there, almost within touching distance. I could hear her heartbeat. I could count the breaths she took, every page she turned. She read six pages of that stupid history book. But I couldn't talk to her, not yet. I knew she wasn't ready for that. It was too soon. She would just push me away harder if I tried to start anything with her now. Even friends was too much for her right now, after the way I had fucked things up that first day. So, I tried to pretend like I was following Jake and Embry's conversation about the car Jake was fixing up while I fretted about the carcinogens Jenna was inhaling with every puff on her cigarette.

When it was time to head to class I hung back, giving Jenna the space she was comfortable with. About twenty feet seemed to work best. I was close enough to satisfy my desire to be close to her and she wasn't tense like she usually was when I stayed too close. She seemed to give me a break during lunch on the proximity issue, but there were very clear limits in the hallways. Her body language was very easy to read.

Shane Peltier came around a corner just as Jenna approached it. I tensed and sped up, trying to reach them before the fucker could do anything to her. Her shoulders tensed as his eyes lit up with recognition. He hadn't been expecting to see her, so at least he hadn't been lurking there, waiting to pounce on her. Maybe I wouldn't have to kill the fucker.

"You're walking a little funny there, Jenna. You a little sore from your lunch time activities? Maybe you should cut down to only one or two different guys each day, Whore."

_Guess I do have to kill him._

Jenna pulled her shoulders back. "Oh stop being such a pussy because I wouldn't go out on a date with you."

Shane's face clouded. "Who you calling a pussy, Bitch!"

The slap was loud and anyone in the hall who hadn't already been watching the exchange was sure watching now. Suddenly the last few feet of hallway between the two figures facing off became overcrowded as people tried to get a better vantage. I began shoving people out of the way. I had to get to Jenna before she was hurt. Shane had a temper. He might hurt her before he realized what he was doing. I could see them over everyone's heads, due to my height, but I was still too far away to do anything. Helpless was not a feeling I was familiar with and it fucking sucked.

"Anyone who has to ask his little friends to go after the mean girl who hurt his feelings is a pussy. Seriously, you went crying to your little friends because I told you no? Are you twelve? Or do you have a vagina because that's such a girl move."

On one hand, I loved that she just asked Shane Peltier if he had a vagina. That was beautiful. On the other, I was about to phase in the middle of the fucking school hallway because I was eight feet away and I couldn't do anything but watch as he reached forward, put his hands on her chest and shoved. She flew into the wall. The thunk of her head hitting the wall echoed in my ears.

A roar followed and magically all the fucking idiots between Shane and me vanished. Wait, that roar had come from me. Somehow I had managed not to phase, but I was fucking pissed. I charged the fucker. He braced himself, and I had to grin. Like he was going to be able to stop me? I had a good six inches and forty pounds on the bitch. He was going down. And once I had him down I was going to fucking obliterate him.

_Can't kill him. Can't kill him. Can't kill him._ I wasn't even phased but somehow I could hear Sam's voice in my head. It must be my conscience, speaking to me in Sam's voice because it knew I sure as hell wasn't going to listen to my own voice right now. But dammit I knew I couldn't kill him. I pulled my punches as much as I could, but I just couldn't seem to _stop._ I kept seeing his hands connecting with Jenna's chest and her feet leaving the floor, her body kind of folding into itself as it flew through the air backward.

A weight hit me from the side, slamming into me with enough momentum to knock me from my perch on Shane's unconscious body. Dazed I looked to the side to see Jared. He must have tackled me. My eyes shifted over Shane in their search for Jenna, barely registering the mess I had made of him. He was going to need medical attention. Even pulling my punches I might have gone too far. Jenna was against the wall, her face pale as she stared at me with wide eyes. _Shit. _

_ She's never going to talk to me now._

The principal was storming down the hall and students were fleeing, not wanting to get caught up in the punishment. I turned my attention back to Jenna quickly, I had to speak to her, before I lost my chance. I couldn't leave her last memory of me in this moment as a monster.

"Are you ok? He didn't hurt you did he? Is your head ok?"

She reached a hand back to feel the back of her head. I gulped as I noticed how shaky the hand was. Was it shaking due to fear or injury? I couldn't handle the thought of either, so I focused on her eyes instead.

"My head is fine." She said quietly, her voice still timid.

_Fuck._ She was terrified of me. What had I done? "I'm sorry." Tears filled my eyes. "I'm so fucking sorry."

I closed my eyes, unable to bear the look in her eyes. "I saw him push you and I saw you hit your head, and I just lost it. They've been hurting you and torturing you and it was all his fault. And he was insulting you and then he put his fucking hands on you. I snapped."

I opened my eyes to see her still staring at me with a strange expression. I couldn't figure it out. It seemed to be a mixture of fear and curiosity. Then she glanced back at Shane and the fear overwhelmed the curiosity. I grimaced.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that to him."

"No you shouldn't have." Mr. Reese stated cooly.

My time was up. The principal had arrived.

"Come along, Paul, Jared. We need to call Mr. Uley. Ms. Black, you can go to class."

* * *

I threw myself on Sam's couch and crossed my arms. My stomach was tied in knots. What was she thinking? Did she accept my apology? Did she understand the sincerity behind it? I really did mean every word of it. Attacking Shane like that was fucking stupid. At the very least I should have waited until after school and gone after him when he was alone and there were no witnesses. In reality, I shouldn't have gone after him at all. Left to her own devices Jenna probably would have reported his attack to the school authorities and they would have handled it. There were witnesses, hell, I was one of them. There were better ways to handle the situation than the one I had chosen.

Sam put his cordless phone back on the charger and turned to me with a scowl. "Shane had several fractures in his face, which required minor surgery. He has a concussion. He'll be out for the rest of the football season. This is his senior year so he won't be playing in high school ever again. He was relying on football to get him a scholarship to college next year, so since that's not going to be an option the council is going to use the money they would pay you for your protection serves and pay him a scholarship instead."

I clenched my teeth but nodded. My impulsive reaction had taken his hope of a future away. I could actually empathize with that. The first time I had phased I saw my hope of ever leaving the reservation vanish. Every kid growing up on the reservation dreamed of the day they could leave. The reservation wasn't that bad of a place really. It was kind of pretty in a…green…sort of way. But there were no good jobs near. A person had to be willing to live at a pretty low standard of living to stay here. No kid dreams of growing up to live on a tight budget at a minimum wage job.

Sam stood before me and stared down at me. I resisted the urge to fidget. I was not a child, I could hold still. He didn't scare me. Who cared that he was the Alpha?

"I understand the desire to protect your imprint. I do. But, Paul, you can't go around attacking helpless people like that. I have to be able to trust you around regular people. You aren't a newly phased wolf anymore. You have to control yourself."

I nodded. "I know."

"You say that, but how do I know that you'll behave yourself next time?"

I exploded off the couch, standing toe to toe with him. "Because my fucking imprint is scared to death of me! You think I'm ever going to let myself act like a fucking maniac in front of her again? I'll make the fucking pope look like Jack the Ripper from now on!"

He stared me in the eye. The longer I met his gaze, the heavier it got. I could feel the Alpha will working on me, beating me down. My shoulders were growing heavier as my head pushed down on them. It was so fucking hard to meet his eyes when he pulled this Alpha shit. If I was a stronger wolf I could do this. If I was born to it like Jake I could meet his gaze and make him whimper, jerking that power away from him. But I wasn't. I wasn't stronger and I wasn't Jake. Within seconds I was bowing my head, my forehead sweating from the exertion of holding my head up for even those few seconds.

"You have to give her some space, Paul. She needs it." Sam said softly.

Something in his voice had me jerking my gaze back up, searching his for answers. He wasn't pulling the Alpha shit this time. Now he was just Sam, my buddy. He was smiling sadly as he reached forward and patted my arm. _What the fuck does he know? And how the fuck does he know it?_

"I'm trying to give her space. It's hard. How did you give Emily space at first? She must have needed it with the whole Leah thing."

Sam nodded. "It was difficult. I screwed up a lot. Obviously."

He had to be referring to the scars. That was a big fuck up. Even bigger than mine. Although, Sam's fuck up had Emily comforting Sam and my fuck up had Jenna running from me, so maybe it wasn't bigger than mine. Not to Jenna at least. She hadn't been a virgin, so why was it such a big deal to her? Maybe it was a chick thing. I needed a chick's advice.

"Where's Emily? She's never here anymore."

Sam shifted his gaze, his body throwing off all kinds of nervous signs. "She's got a job babysitting for someone here on the reservation during the day now. Don't worry, she'll get home in plenty of time to make dinner."

I nodded, going along with Sam's assumption that I would only want to know where Emily was in relation to where the next meal was coming from.

"You can hang out here for the rest of the afternoon, but I expect you to have your homework completed. Since you're suspended tomorrow and next week you'll be running all of the school shifts. Give the others a chance to catch up on their school work. You'll also be running your regular shifts."

"I have to run doubles?" I whined before I could keep my traitor mouth from opening. I snapped it closed immediately, wishing there was an undue button on my tongue.

Sam glared at me. "You put a kid in the hospital. So yes, you're running doubles while you are suspended from school. Want to keep running them after you go back? No? Keep your trap shut then."

* * *

**AN: Looks like I might be going to Seattle late Nov, early Dec, for work. I'll be auditing all day, with only a couple hours in the evenings for play/sight seeing. The evenings should be entertaining though, I'll be going with three guys, a program manager, a contracting officer and a Chief Financial Officer, and two of the three will probably end up getting plastered and since I can't drink on my migraine meds I'll get to be the designated driver/babysitter for them. The guys are pretty fun to hang with though so it won't be too bad. Sucks to be that close to the site of the Twilight Saga and not have the opportunity to visit though. Oh well, that's life.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

**Disclaimer: SM-Twilight**

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* * *

Jenna POV**

I stared up at the shadows on the ceiling, not really seeing them. My mind was still locked on visions of Shane, his face covered in blood and already beginning to swell. My hand drifted to my chest, pushing down gently on the tender flesh. There was mild bruising from where he had pushed me. If I reached to the back of my head I would encounter a small bump and more tenderness. I had a slight headache as well. Probably a mild concussion. But I hadn't let the school nurse check me out and I hadn't told John any of the day's events when he came home from Seattle that evening. He would have probably forced me to go to the hospital if he had known about the incident.

Of course, if I had gone to the hospital maybe I would have had the chance to visit Shane and apologize to him for the events in the hall being blown so far out of proportion. He had ended up paying a far greater price for his sins than I deemed appropriate. Hell, all he had done was push me a little and call me a few bad names. Nothing I hadn't been through before. I'd lived through much worse so many times I couldn't even count. I frowned. And who had appointed Paul as the judge, jury and executioner in that little trial? What gave him the right to jump into my battle and fight for my honor? I hadn't asked for his help.

I shuddered and pulled the covers up around me. He had been terrifying when he attacked Shane. There was something inhuman in his eyes when he had taken the other boy down. I had no doubt that he could have easily killed the other boy, and felt no remorse for it. The fact that he felt he was doing that for me sent another chill down my spine. To have someone commit such an act in my name created a whole new sense of violation that I had never felt before. At first I had assumed that Paul and Shane must have some kind of deep-seated hatred between them, years of history building up to the beating Paul had inflicted. I was sickened when I heard Paul's explanation and then looked over at Shane. Shane was in this condition not because of his relationship with Paul but because of his relationship with _me._ Even while a part of me was arguing that he had bought it on himself with his treatment of me, another, louder, part of me was slowly drowning in guilt. I should have turned him down easier, more gently. I should have dissolved the tension in the hallway better. I could have done a million little things differently that would have prevented him from lying in a hospital bed, from needing surgery, from the pain he had to be in while I was lying in bed relatively unscathed.

* * *

_I swung my legs in time with the music, smiling happily. A person had to smile at this song though. It was Bare Necessities, from the Jungle Book. I had the book in front of me, and a CD player next to me with the play along CD going. The book had little images that alerted me when it was time to play the next song. I loved this book. And I loved all of the songs. This was my favorite thing to do when I didn't have anyone to play with._

_ "Baby Doll, come back here. I want to show you something."_

_ Nausea rolled through me, swift and vicious. I darted my eyes around the kitchen, panicked as I realized that I had lost track of what was going on around me as I read my book. My mother's purse was gone from the counter. She wasn't home! I was alone with him. _

_ Alan's voice called from the back of the house again, a little louder, an edge of anger tainting it. He was losing patience. "Come on, Baby Doll."_

_ Trembling, I slid from the wooden chair and tiptoed through the kitchen. I peered through the doorway to the back of the house. The lights weren't on. I couldn't see very clearly into the small hallway. Light streamed in through the bathroom window and dust motes floated through the beam that stretched into the hallway. I looked left and right. To the right was my room. Straight ahead was the bathroom and to the left was their room._

_ "In here," he called from their room._

_ Gulping, I stepped hesitantly through the beam of light, dust motes scattering chaotically behind me._

_ I have hated the Jungle Book soundtrack ever since that day._

Anderson's cries pulled me from the dream. I wiped tears from my cheeks. I made a mental note to buy some Kleenex for my bedside table the next time I went grocery shopping. The tears were a daily occurrence now, so I may as well be prepared. Taking a deep breath I forced the memories from my mind. I _would_ have a clear mind when I cared for my son.

I picked him up with a smile and kissed his cheeks. "Morning, Honey."

He screamed his lungs off while I changed his diaper and pulled a dry outfit onto his body. He'd been wetting through his diaper for the last week, so it was time to move up to the next size. The little man was growing so fast. He was barely four months old now, but he was almost into twelve-month sizes. His father must have been huge. But then, that made sense. I had always liked my men large. An image of Paul flashed through my mind, but I shoved it out ruthlessly. I would not allow myself to think about Paul that way. He clearly was not a candidate as a partner in raising Anderson. The boy was always fighting. I couldn't possibly have him around my son.

John was sitting in his recliner, enjoying a cup of coffee when I walked through with my screaming child. He nodded his head in my direction but didn't attempt to speak to me until I came back through with a much quieter Anderson, who was at that point happily sucking on a bottle. John grinned at the boy.

"I get that way when I think I'm starving too."

I humored the man with a small smile. Things were still a bit awkward between us. I only saw my uncle on the weekends, so our relationship was really only a few day's old. For most of the week I felt autonomous. I lived on my own, made my own decisions. I ate what I wanted when I wanted. Watched what I wanted. Left the house when I wanted and went where I wanted to go. I went to bed when I wanted to sleep. With him looking at me over the edge of his cup, it came slamming back home to me that I was in fact sitting on John's couch, in John's house. And that I could stay only on John's authority. I was at his mercy.

"I was thinking we could go back to the diner for breakfast, give you a break from cooking."

I nodded. "Sure."

"As soon as he's done eating and you're dressed we can go."

I blushed, realizing for the first time that I was still in my pajamas. I was so used to having the house to myself that I hadn't even thought about John being there when I went in search of Anderson's bottle. Thankfully my pajamas weren't exactly exciting. Just flannel pants and a t-shirt. I did wish that I had on a bra though. Having a child had blessed me with certain assets that high school girls generally didn't have. I felt kind of awkward sitting here with my uncle while I was bra-less. I was going to have to be more careful, at least on the weekends.

The morning passed quickly, and not as uncomfortably as I expected. John was actually easy to talk to. He was a very relaxed person and didn't dig for any answers to my past, not since that first day anyway. Apparently, he felt he knew enough about where I had come from. He updated me on the guardianship situation and told me all about his work in Seattle. He even invited me to come up to his apartment some time, maybe during one of the long breaks from school or for a weekend, give me a chance to see the city and get off the reservation. He even handed over a wad of cash, insisting that I use it to buy myself some warmer clothes before it got much colder.

It did get a little uncomfortable for a moment at the diner. John had felt the need to introduce me to some of his friends who were seated at the counter. He had beamed, thrown an arm over my shoulder and proudly declared that I was his niece. I fought to keep a pleasant smile on my face as my mind flew back in time, to a similar diner. A very different man had stood next to me, his arm around me as he introduced me to the men around us. Going to the diner had been a Saturday morning tradition with Alan. A tradition that I had forgotten until this very moment. I had felt so proud, like such a big girl when he let me start going to the diner with him. He would give me a coffee. It was really mostly creamer with a little coffee, but I had felt so grown up. I had felt so sick standing there next to John as the memory assaulted me. Why had the younger version of me wanted to spend any time with the man who tormented her? Maybe he hadn't started yet? I couldn't remember a time that I hadn't been hurt by the man, but it was possible that such a time existed. Or maybe I had just been too young to understand that what he had been doing was wrong? John had led me to a table and away from the pull of my memory. I had forced myself to stop thinking on it and instead focus on the uncle in front of me, the man who was doing everything in his power to help me pull myself out of the gutter.

Before I knew it, it was time to go to my Uncle Billy's house. I was excited to finally meet more extended family. John carried the potato salad I had made and I carried the diaper bag and Anderson. Billy's house had another of the handicap ramps. I considered the ramp briefly, wondering who was in a wheelchair that both John and Billy had a ramp. But my thoughts were interrupted as John knocked once on the door before turning the handle and walking in. I followed him hesitantly, wondering what was on the other side.

A man looking similar to John, just a few years older, was sitting in the living room, his face pulled into a welcoming smile. He rolled forward a few feet. "You must be Jenna! Welcome to my home. I'm your Uncle Billy."

I stared at him, my mind frozen. What was with John? Could he not warn me about anything? Seriously? First the babysitter has three huge scars across half her face and now his brother is in a fucking wheelchair and the man says nothing. Billy's smile dimmed slightly. _Fuck, I'm being rude._

"Uhm, yeah. It's nice to meet you." I stammered, trying for a sincere smile.

Billy turned his gaze to my son. "And I hear I have a great-nephew? He's a handsome little devil. Big boy, too."

My smile was instantly wider, as pride filled me. "Anderson's off the growth charts. He's only four months old but he's wearing clothes for a one year old."

Billy chuckled. "He'll fit in around here."

My mind flashed to the giants at school. Suddenly I was uncomfortable again. Searching for anything to take my mind off the giants, and hence Paul, I turned to Billy.

"Where are these cousins I've just learned about?"

Billy motioned toward a few pictures on the wall. "I have two girls, Rebecca and Rachel. Rebecca is married and lives in Hawaii. Rachel is away at college right now. You've probably seen Jacob around school. He's working right now. He probably won't be around today."

I walked over to the wall, jiggling Anderson on my hip as I looked over the pictures. Billy was a proud father. The wall was full of pictures. If he wanted to put any more pictures up, he was going to have to decide what he was willing to take down. The girls were obviously twins. The boy was familiar. I had seen him just the day before at lunch. He was one of the giants.

Billy pulled out some albums for me to go through while he grilled the burgers. Anderson patted the pages and cooed as I studied the pictures. Billy's kids appeared to have a happy childhood. I had to smile at the picture of Jacob and a little white girl making mud pies. Jacob sure had been small when he was a kid. But the smile was the same. His lips were pulled back in a wide grin in every picture in the book. The twin girls had the same smile, when they used it. They didn't appear unhappy exactly, but Jacob seemed to be overflowing with joy.

I held Anderson in my lap, with my plate pushed out of his reach. He thought he was ready for solid food. His appetite was certainly ready for it. Every chance he got, he tried to sneak my food.

"So, how did his father take it when you moved up here?" Billy asked.

I nearly choked on my burger. I swallowed hard, forcing the bite down before taking a drink to buy some time. John had been so good about leaving my past in the past, I hadn't even considered that Billy might start digging into it. My guard had been down.

"He's not really involved." _Because he has no fucking clue he's a dad. And I have no idea who he is to hunt him down and tell him._

"I'm sorry. That must have been difficult. John says your mother is in prison right now? Was she around to help at all or was she already there when you had him?"

I snorted at the thought of getting any help from her. "Amy helping? Do you not know your sister at all? The only thing she's good for is to know the closest dealer."

I put my burger down, only half finished. But I just wasn't hungry any longer.

Billy shook his head, a sad look in his eyes. "Amy was always impulsive. She was caught shoplifting a few times, and she did drink underage a bit while she was here. But it's hard to believe that she turned to drugs. People do change over the years though. We haven't heard from her in years. We didn't even know she had you. We got a call from her about fifteen years ago, said she was getting married to some guy named Alan, but she never even mentioned you."

I felt the blood draining from my face at the mention of Alan.

Billy studied me. "Is she still married to Alan?"

If this man was going to be this nosy all of the time, then I wasn't going to like my Uncle Billy very much. "No. Alan's not around any more."

* * *

**PPOV**

I stumbled into Sam's kitchen, weariness pulling at me. That prick Sam had assigned me three eight-hour patrols in thirty-six hours. I was starving but I would be lucky to get my stomach filled and get a shower before I passed out. Emily met me three steps into the kitchen with a plate stacked to overflowing.

"Bless you, Woman."

She laughed and put a hand on my shoulder, leading me to table. I leaned an elbow on the table so I could rest my head on it while I ate. Otherwise I was in danger of my face slamming into the plate. As good as the food looked, and tasted, I didn't want to wear it. Emily went back to whatever it was she did in her kitchen all day every day. That woman was always in her kitchen.

Well, she used to be. "Where have you been? Sam said you got a job watching some rug rat?"

Emily's shoulders stiffened. "Um, yes, I have. A local girl needed someone to watch her son during the day. I figured it wouldn't hurt for me to make a little money. You wouldn't believe how much it cost to feed you bottomless pits."

Guilt gnawed at me as I glanced down at my plate. The food on my plate could probably feed a family of four. "Oh."

Emily turned to me with a smile. "It's worth it, Paul. You guys have such an important job. I just wish we didn't have to keep it a secret. Everyone should know what you guys do, how you keep us safe, so they can thank you properly."

I snorted. "Run us off with fucking pitchforks and shotguns more likely. We're freaks, Em. Dangerous freaks." I frowned, Shane's bloody face and Jenna's frightened eyes flashing through my mind. "Maybe we shouldn't be allowed near anyone who isn't as durable as we are."

_You should know that best, Emily. You see what we're capable of every time you look in a mirror._

Emily moved to my side and placed a hand on my shoulder, squeezing. "It will be ok, Paul."

I sighed as my shoulders dropped an inch lower. No, it wouldn't. My imprint was terrified of me, for good reason. I was a fucking homicidal maniac, and I had proved it in front of her. There was no recovering from my behavior.

She patted my shoulder. "Eat up before you pass out. You're losing weight."

She was right. I hadn't been able to eat right since I first met Jenna. Then for the past two days I had been stressed out over whether she would forgive me for what I had done to Shane. I was leaning toward no. She was going to hate me forever. And then to know that I wasn't going to be with her for a week was tearing me apart. How was I going to survive a week without being near her? Could a wolf even go a week without being near his imprint? The question had been eating at me, and as it tormented me, I had lost interest in eating. Wolves were always hungry. It wasn't natural for us not to eat. My metabolism was insanely fast. The phasing took a lot of calories. Since I wasn't putting enough calories in, my body had been forced to start using the only material available. Sam was going to kick my ass if I let myself get in too bad of shape. If I got too bad I wouldn't be able to protect the tribe. If I couldn't protect the tribe, I couldn't protect Jenna.

That thought alone motivated me to keep moving the fork from the plate to my mouth. My eyes were barely open by the time I finished, only a small slit in my narrowed eyelids allowing any visibility. Emily's hand darted into view and whisked the plate out of my line of site.

"Go take a shower and use the spare room, Paul."

I shoved the chair back. The shower sounded like too much effort, but I knew how much Emily hated dirty bodies in her beds. She'd make me clean the sheets myself if I didn't shower first. So I took the fastest shower known to man. I didn't even wait for the water to heat up first. Then I collapsed onto the bed. Actually, I think I was asleep before I even hit the bed.

* * *

**AN: Don't know why it was so hard to write this one. Had to fight for every fucking word. Well, one section and a particular paragraph weren't necessarily hard to come up with. Not really fun to remember, but they didn't take long like the rest of this. **


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

**AN: Well, when I first drafted this not so little chapter, I had just finished seeing the neurologist about my migraine meds and how poorly they are working. She prescribed _more _meds. Apparently the new one is also used as an anti-depressant. So this little story might get loads lighter in future chapters. Let's all hope it isn't all fucking rainbows and unicorns from here on out because I hate that shit.**

**Disclaimer- SM owns Twilight; I get nothing but reviews from fabulous people**

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* * *

Jenna POV  
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On Monday I carried my re-heated chili con carne to the smoking spot, wondering if Paul's friends would be there or if I would have the place to myself. Call it intuition, but I had the feeling they were only there because Paul was. Since he was suspended for the week, I was hoping for a peaceful break from people during my lunch period. When I arrived in my spot, it was empty. Oddly, I felt a small pang of disappointment. That was stupid though. It wasn't as if I ever talked to the boys. They weren't my friends that I should miss them. I was half-finished with my lunch when they showed up. Once again, we didn't interact, but I still felt less lonely with them there.

I thought it would be easier without Paul there to distract me in my afternoon classes. But somehow, his absence was even more distracting than his presence had ever been. My eyes kept drifting over to his empty seat, sub-consciously looking for him. _Hmm, maybe I should make a copy of my notes for him? _ I mentally slapped myself on the head. _Right, like your math notes are going to help him. You'd just confuse him so bad he'd forget shit he already knew._ And since when did I want to help the psycho? If he needed help he could go find a nerd and terrify the kid into doing his work. That was probably his usual method anyway. Hell, he probably had a spare nerd shoved in his locker for emergencies.

Emily greeted me with a warm smile when I walked in the front door. "How was your day at school?"

I shrugged and tried for a smile, but it felt like a failed. "It was fine."

"Was it a rough day?" Her voice was filled with concern.

I set my backpack against the couch and took Anderson from her, closing my eyes as I cuddled him. His warmth seeped into my chest, easing an ache that I hadn't even realized I was feeling until I held him. The ache was still there, oddly, but holding him helped. _Shane must have hit me harder than I thought to have bruised that deeply_.

"Just long I guess." I finally answered, opening my eyes to see her studying my face with a worried expression. I sent her a reassuring smile. "I'm fine now that I have my little man."

"Why don't you take it easy tonight and come over to my house for dinner instead of trying to cook? It's ridiculous to cook for just one person anyway."

I snorted. "You said there are usually six or more people at your house for dinner every night. That's not taking it easy to me. I think I'd rather stay in and have left-overs, but thanks."

"Ok, but the invitation is always open." Emily said as she saw herself out of the house.

Tuesday was a repeat of Monday. My chest was even more sore though. And I had even more trouble paying attention in my afternoon classes. I did make a new friend though, and this one wasn't trying to get into my pants. She was in my home economics class. I looked up to see her smiling at me with a look that hinted that I should know her from somewhere. Since I hadn't been in town long enough to know anyone from anywhere, I was confused. Then it hit me, she had been at the lunch table the previous week. She was dating one of the giants.

Taking a chance I gave her a small grin. She jumped on the opportunity and walked over to my table. "Hi, I'm Kim."

"Jenna."

"How do you like La Push so far?"

I shrugged. "It's ok."

What was I supposed to say? It's better than the alternative. Although there were parts I could live without.

She must have read something in my tone of voice though because she gave me a funny look and a sympathetic smile. "Most people don't have as much excitement as you have their first week."

"Yeah, aren't I the lucky girl?"

"You'll have a much easier time now." She assured. "They won't be bothering you any more."

She seemed so confident. "You can't know that. Jocks can be very stupid, and persistent."

She shook her head. "Paul made sure of it."

"He only beat up a couple of them."

She leaned in to me and spoke quietly with a twinkle in her eye. "Someone may have spread a rumor around school that the next person to hurt you in any way was going to get a visit from Paul, outside of school grounds."

I stared at her in shock. Had _she_ spread the rumor? It couldn't have been Paul, he'd been escorted off the school grounds immediately. I turned my gaze to the cookies I was supposed to be making. Hell, was it even really a rumor or was it more of a promise? That sounded like the type of thing he would do.

It rained all day Wednesday. Nerves tore through my stomach as I made my way into the cafeteria. Should I assume that Kim and I were friends now and I could eat with her? Or that Paul's friends would welcome me at their table? Or should I look for a table on my own? My eyes darted over the table that I had noticed them all sitting at that first day. There was only one figure sitting there at the moment, and it was one of the people I had never spoken directly to. There was no way in hell I was going to plop my ass down at a table with a perfect stranger.

I settled at an empty table near the back and began pulling out my things like usual. I was only one paragraph in before chairs were being pulled out around me.

"Didn't you see Jared over there? We already had a table," one of the boys stated.

I looked up to see that the boy who had been sitting at the other table was now sitting down across from me. Kim was practically in his lap she was sitting so close to him. She beamed at me.

"Hey Jenna!"

"I thought her name was Jessa?" Brady's brother said. "Those jocks kept calling her Jessa. Are you telling me I've been calling her the wrong name this whole time?"

Brady popped him in the back of the head. "Dumb-ass. Ignore Collin, he never gets to bed at a decent hour. Bad for the memory."

Out of the corner of my eye I noticed someone leaning into my personal space. I glanced over to see my cousin Jacob peering into my container of Chili con Carne. I had yet to be properly introduced to him, but after all of the photographs Billy had shown of him growing up, I felt like I knew him. Especially after the ones of the awkward phase.

"You got a problem?"

"That smells really fucking good. What is it?"

"Chili con Carne."

I glanced back at my container. I had been eating the whole time I was talking with them, and somehow I had eaten most of the contents of the container. My stomach was full. I glanced up to see all of the boys staring at my food with rapt attention.

"You guys want some? There's probably enough for everyone to have a bite."

"Hell yes!"

I wasn't sure who had answered since it came from down the table, but they sounded enthusiastic. I laughed and peered down the table, meeting everyone's eyes.

"I'll make a deal with you guys. I have a whole pot of this at home. I'll bring enough for everyone tomorrow if you all promise to only take one fork-full today. I want everyone to have a taste."

"Sure, sure. Hand it over." Jacob said. He turned his gaze on the others. "You will do as she said."

I frowned at his tone of voice. All of the boys nodded, their faces suddenly solemn. Jacob sounded like he was seriously ordering them, no shit ordering them. And they sat there and took it without blinking. It was the weirdest fucking thing I had ever seen. Then they were back to the impatient boys, holding out their forks and practically drooling.

I passed the food down and watched as they each took exactly one fork-full. I just knew that someone was going to try to cheat, but no one did. They all groaned and made a big deal over how good the food was. Even Kim tried a bite and begged for the recipe.

Yet again my afternoon classes were hard to sit through. My eyes wandered to his desk time and time again, looking for him. I found it damn near impossible to concentrate on what my teachers were saying. Between thinking of Paul, even though I had no interest in the boy and had absolutely no intention of ever having a relationship with him, I couldn't get my mind off him. More worrying though was the way my chest felt. It hurt even more on Wednesday than it had on Tuesday and Monday. I would look down to find myself rubbing it absentmindedly without knowing how long I had been doing it. Jacob was in my English class and I think he caught me doing it. He looked a little worried too.

He rushed over to me as soon as class was over. "You feeling ok, Jenna?"

I gave him my best fake smile. "Sure. Why?"

He narrowed his eyes. "You didn't look like you felt good earlier. You looked like you were having a heart attack."

I laughed his words off, trying to think quickly. Thankfully inspiration struck. "You know, I think it's a good thing I'm bringing up the rest of that Chili con Carne for you guys. I think it gave me indigestion. I may have made this batch a little too hot for my stomach. I think I'll go look in my locker for some antacids. See you later."

He watched me go, a doubtful look on his face.

* * *

"Big appetite today?"

I looked up to see Emily grinning at me from the doorway. After growing tired of having to answer the door halfway through getting dressed or making a bottle, I had given Emily her own key to John's house. Of course, I cleared it through him first. I'm not that irresponsible or disrespectful.

"I made a huge pot of this Chili con Carne and I decided to share it with some friends at lunch instead of eating it for every meal for a month."

Her smile widened. "You must have made a lot of friends. I'm glad to hear it."

I shrugged. "Well, it's not like we're best friends for life or anything, but most of them seem like nice people."

Her eyebrows rose. "Most of them?"

I nodded, with a frown. How should I explain Paul? "One of the boys in the group is kind of a hot head. I saw him get into five different fights in four days. I think he would have killed the last kid if one of his friends hadn't stopped him."

Emily stepped over and put a hand on my shoulder. She gave me a small smile. "I know a boy a lot like that. He has a lot to deal with at home and a lot of stress in his life. He lashes out because he doesn't know any other way of dealing with it. Maybe this boy has the same problem. Don't be quick to judge. If his friends are so good, think about why they would choose him as a friend. Surely there is a reason. There must be some good in him."

_Why is she trying to make me like him? She has no way of knowing who I'm talking about, does she? So why is she trying so hard?_

I glanced at the clock. "I've got to go. Anderson has been a little cranky this morning. Something is off with him. I think you're in for a rough day with him. Please keep a careful eye on him today."

Emily pulled me into a reassuring hug. "Always. Have a good day at school. I'll call you if he starts to feel poorly, ok?"

"Thanks."

Her words played on a continuous loop in my head as I drove to school. Did Paul deserve a chance just because his friends saw worth in him? Maybe he deserved a chance from them, but not from me. They didn't have the same things to lose that I did. Anderson's safety was too high of a risk. I would not take unnecessary risks with him. Paul was definitely an unnecessary risk. I put the thought out of my head.

* * *

My lips curved into a smile involuntarily. I loved watching people enjoy my cooking. And there was no doubt these people were enjoying it. Their eyes were rolling back in their heads. They were moaning, almost obscenely. If they ate any faster, they were going to choke. Even Kim was being less than lady-like with her share.

Brady dropped his fork onto his empty plate with a lazy grin. "Damn that was good. Can I marry you?"

Forks stopped in mid-air as all eyes turned to Brady.

Collin slapped him in the back of the head with a growl. "Paul will kill you for that, Dip-shit."

I thought about questioning that statement but reconsidered. These were Paul's friends. They probably wouldn't tell me the truth anyway. I shoved the container back in my backpack before turning back to my history book.

"What's wrong with you? Why do you study at lunch?" Quil asked, staring at my book in disgust.

I shrugged. "Too hard to study at John's house."

"Who's John? Your boyfriend?" Brady asked.

Collin sent him a warning glance.

_ What is with that?_

I shook my head. "Uncle."

"So don't study." Embry stated, like it was the most logical solution.

I rolled my eyes. "I want to graduate. In fact, if I do well enough they'll make a special allowance and let me take summer courses."

Quil's lip curled up. "Why would you want to do that?"

"So I can graduate early."

_Moron. Now they'll want to know why, and you really don't want to go explaining do you? These people just met you. If they find out about Anderson they'll turn their backs on you._ I surprised myself with that thought. I hadn't realized that I cared whether these people liked me or not. Now I suddenly cared if they turned their backs on me or not?

Jared nodded. "Makes sense."

And that was the end of the conversation. They moved on to discussing other things, things I wasn't involved in and couldn't seem to follow, so I turned my attention back to my book. Before I knew it the bell was ringing and most of the chairs around me were already empty. I gathered up my things and started weaving through the tables. Collin and Brady were the only ones still in the cafeteria.

Brady came up beside me. "Hey, uh, you weren't offended by the whole marry me thing right?"

Before I could reply my cell phone started buzzing. I pulled it out of my pocket and frowned at the number displayed. It was Emily. As soon as I opened it the sound of Anderson's cries spilled out. "Hello?"

"Jenna, Anderson has a fever of 103." Emily stated in a calm voice. "I knew you'd want to know as soon as possible so you could make a doctor's appointment. I can take him for you if you want."

I started walking faster, bumping into a chair that hadn't been pushed in all the way. I felt a warm hand steadying me as I started to tilt forward. "No I'll be there soon."

I disconnected from Emily and immediately dialed the number for the clinic on the reservation, moving around the chair. This was the first time Anderson had gotten sick. I didn't know what to do. Panic was starting to shoot through me. I was sure glad I had taken the time to program the number into my phone though.

"Yes! I'd like to make an appointment for my son. No, he's a new patient. He's four months old and he has a fever of 103." I checked my watch. "I can get him there in fifteen minutes. Thanks."

I glanced over at the two boys. "Gotta go."

I ignored the shocked look on Collin and Brady's faces as I rushed out of the cafeteria. I had to make a quick stop at the admin office to let them know I was leaving and why. John had explained to the office about Anderson and that he was away during the week. They weren't happy with me leaving but they understood that I had to take care of my sick child. It wasn't as if they had a choice in the matter. I was leaving regardless of their opinion.

Worry ate at me as I picked up Anderson and drove him to the clinic. The wait to see the doctor seemed to take forever. It was really only five minutes at the most though. The doctor came into the room with a bright smile. He was friendly as he examined the baby, chatting easily with me as he did. His confidence and easy manner helped to relax me slightly, but I was still on edge.

"Looks like a simple ear infection. We'll give him antibiotics and numbing drops and ibuprofen for the pain and fever. He'll start feeling better within twenty-four hours."

"Thank you." I wanted to cry in relief. It was nothing serious. My baby boy would be fine.

The doctor gave me a kind smile and squeezed my shoulder. "We'll need to see him back for his six month check-up and vaccinations. That'll give us a good chance to make sure the infection is all cleared up. Give me a call if the fever doesn't go away after a day or so."

I filled the prescription at the pharmacy next door to the clinic and took Anderson home. Emily had gone home, leaving the house to Anderson and me. The poor boy was miserable. I filled his ears with the drops and gave him a dose of the fever reducer. The antibiotics stated that he needed food on his stomach to take them, so I made a bottle and sat down to feed him. It took forty minutes to get the boy to finish his bottle. He was frustrated and hurting and would only suck once or twice before giving up to cry again. Eventually he finished though and I was able to medicate him.

After rocking him to sleep I started a load of laundry and began cleaning house. The fever reducer kept him asleep a couple hours longer than usual. When he awoke he took his bottle much easier and already seemed to be a little less uncomfortable. I set the boy in his motorized swing and opened the fridge. I considered re-heating one of the containers of enchiladas for dinner. But I'd had that for lunch for three days in a row now and I was kind of sick of it. I could always make a full dinner, but that seemed silly just for me. Of course, I would have left-overs so I would have something besides enchiladas to bring for lunch the next day. _Maybe I should think about stocking up on frozen dinners for weeknights._

I heard a lock turn in the front door. Closing the fridge door I turned toward the sound. John wasn't due home for another day and he would have called to tell me if he was coming home early. He called every night to check up on Anderson and me. I glanced at my son in his swing and moved quietly toward the doorway between the kitchen and the living room. Could this be the elusive neighbor John had mentioned?

"Anybody home?"

A shiver ran down my spine at that voice. I knew that husky voice. I stepped into the living room slowly, my eyes widening. Paul was standing by the front door with a gym bag slung over one shoulder and a huge army duffel bag on the floor at his feet. We stared at each other silently for a long moment. He looked disheveled. His hair was standing up, his clothes were messy and torn. I could see dried blood on the knuckles of the hand holding the strap of the gym bag. So this was what his 'tense' home life looked like.

I crossed my arms. "John isn't home."

He nodded. "I know."

Then we stared at each other some more. What was he doing here if he knew that John wasn't here? Why did he call out as if he expected someone to be home if he knew that John wasn't home? Did he know this was where I lived? Was he stalking me now? What the hell was going on? My eyes drifted down to the blood on his knuckles, then his torn clothing. I saw the bag at his feet. _What the hell happened to him? Did he just get in a fight at home? Did he get kicked out? Was his father still alive?_ I had seen his opponent after a fight after all.

Against my better judgement, compassion filled me. I'd lived through that kind of home-life. Violence wasn't ever the answer, but if he had lived through a hell anything like my own...well, I could almost understand how he could eventually lash out at the world at large. I couldn't help myself. "Get cleaned up. I'll have dinner ready when you're done. Cheeseburgers sound good?"

A grin spread across his face. "Can you make me two?"

"Sure."

I headed to the kitchen as he made his way toward the bedrooms. I had pre-formed patties and frozen them last time I bought hamburger meat so it didn't take any time at all to get the hamburgers going. I pulled out a bag of fries and heated up some oil while the burgers started cooking. Since everything was going and wouldn't need any attention I put the kettle on to heat water for Anderson's bottles. It was so much easier to feed him if I had them ready to go when he was hungry. I started measuring out formula into a row of bottles lined up on the counter. I flipped the burgers, put the fries in the hot oil and then filled the bottles with the hot water. I was just putting the lids on the bottles and shaking them up when Paul walked into the kitchen.

He froze, his eyes going wide. They were stuck on Anderson, watching the swing going back and forth. Anderson was cooing, waving his little arms trying to reach a star that hung down from the swing frame just to the left of his head. I smiled at my son. He was the light of my life.

"This is my son, Anderson."

Paul's eyes moved up to mine. He moved to a chair and sat down heavily. "You have a son."

"Yes."

He turned back to stare at Anderson as I continued shaking the bottles. I frowned. Paul was in complete shock. I shouldn't feel so offended. It wasn't as if I cared how he felt about me. I shouldn't be worried about his impression of me. I didn't want a relationship with him after all. I couldn't. So what did it matter that he was looking at my son like Anderson was a little alien?

I grabbed the lettuce, tomato and condiments from the fridge and set them all on the counter to assemble the burgers. _You will not cry you Jackass. You don't want him to like you anyway, remember?_ I glanced at Paul. He was staring at me now.

"What would you like on your burger?"

"The works."

I hummed quietly as I assembled the burgers, trying to hide my nervousness, trying to ignore the fact that he was alternately staring at me and my child. I focused on the task at hand. Even if Paul wasn't exactly a close friend, I enjoyed preparing food. I liked to cook and I liked to feed people, friends and strangers alike. Although, I couldn't really classify Paul as either. I knew him far too intimately to call him a stranger but he certainly wasn't a friend. I took a small portion of the fries and dumped the majority on his plate. Then I placed two burgers next to his large pile of fries and one next to my small pile.

After scooting Anderson's swing closer to my seat, I sat down and began to eat. Paul was wolfing the food down, like he hadn't eaten in days. He did pause to glance up with a grin. "Thanks."

I nodded and looked back to my food.

"So, why are you here?" He asked, surprising me. I hadn't really expected him to talk to me. I thought he had given up after that first day in school.

I shrugged. I hadn't felt comfortable with the subject when John brought it up but obviously Paul could relate. "Same reason you are. Home wasn't exactly a good place to be."

He nodded, his eyes darting to the baby and back before shoving the last bite of his second burger into his mouth. I still had most of my burger remaining on my plate so I cut it in half and offered him the untouched portion.

"You sure?" He asked in doubt.

"Yeah. I can't eat a whole one anyway."

He still looked unsure, so I set it down on his plate. I dipped a fry in my ketchup and grinned as Paul enthusiastically attacked the burger. "You're a good cook."

I nearly laughed. He thought this was good cooking? Anyone could throw a frozen patty in a pan and fry French fries. I doubted he would react well if I laughed at him though. I'd seen his temper. He'd been in those five fights that I had witnessed. Plus the one that had sent him packing to John's today. "Thanks."

I glanced up at him through my lashes.

Wait a minute. His knuckles were healed. Completely healed. They were covered with blood when he came into the house. "What happened to the cuts on your knuckles? You had blood all over your knuckles when you came in."

He shifted in his seat. "The blood wasn't mine. It was my dad's. I don't want to talk about it."

I looked away, deciding that it wasn't any of my business. It wasn't as if we were close friends. Besides, I wasn't any more willing to tell him why I was here. So I had no business pushing him on his reasons. Although now I couldn't help but wonder what kind of condition he had left his dad in. Did I need to calling in an anonymous tip to the police? I glanced at him from under my eye lashes again. That was just crazy. Paul may have a temper and he might get into a lot of fights, but did I really think he was capable of killing someone? No. Well. Maybe?

We finished our meal in silence. Paul surprised me when I began clearing the table. He jumped up to help. With the two of us working together the kitchen was cleaned quickly. By unspoken agreement, we both pulled out our homework, settling across from each other at the table. I worked on Spanish while Paul worked on Calculus. Both of us finished at roughly the same time and switched to another subject. An hour later I was glaring in frustration at my math work while Paul was muttering obscenities at whatever he was working on. Tears pricked my eyes when Anderson began to fuss. I had to get homework completed but I had no idea how to do the work and now I had to set it aside to take care of Anderson's needs.

I shoved the math book away roughly, frustration eating through me. I was going to flunk the Calculus class. There was no way I could pass it. I was too far behind. The math I'd been taking in Oklahoma was much easier than what I was trying to learn now. That, or the teacher was much better at explaining it.

I felt myself calming down as I focused on my son. He wasn't hungry, he'd had a bottle not too long ago. It was probably his ear hurting again. So I put some more numbing drops in, raised him to my chest and started rubbing circles on his back. I hummed a lullaby quietly under my breath, hoping not to disturb Paul too much. Anderson cooed happily and stuck a hand in his mouth, chewing on it. Drool began to soak my shirt but I didn't mind. He had soaked me in much more disgusting fluids before. I laughed and wiped the liquid away with a burp rag. I rocked slightly and hummed as I focused on my son, pushing my school work out of my mind. I would not worry about anything but Anderson right now. This was Anderson's time and I was not going to cheat my son.

After I deemed it long enough for the medicine to have numbed his ear I settled him in his sling on my chest. The baby reached up and patted my face as I tried to concentrate on math once again. My brows furrowed as I tried to understand the equations. Anderson's cooing and exploring fingers didn't help my comprehension at all.

"Fuck Spanish!" I jumped as Paul's textbook slammed shut.

I eyed the large boy warily, my heart racing. Was he angry enough to lash out at those around him? I'd seen him attack his own friends often enough. Would he attack a girl? Was Anderson safe around him? I leaned away, weighing my next move. What would Paul do if I started to back away? Would that make him even angrier? Would he snap? Or would he let me get the baby to safety?

I froze as his eyes snapped to mine. He looked ten times more frustrated than I felt. He was going to explode at any second. I scooted my chair back slowly, my eyes glued to his face, hoping that I could see his intention to move before he had a chance to get to Anderson and me. If I could just jump out of the chair without tripping on the baby swing by my feet, I could probably make it to my room and get the door locked before he caught up to us. Maybe.

Paul's eyes widened slowly and all the blood drained from his face.

"I'm not going to hit you." His tone was offended.

I narrowed my eyes, judging his sincerity.

"I swear! I just got a little mad at my homework. That's all."

I studied his eyes. They were wide and they were begging me to believe the words coming out of his mouth.

"I would never hit a girl and I sure wouldn't hit one holding a fucking baby. I'm not that big of a bastard. I could never hurt _you._ Shit, Jenna. Is that what you think of me?" He was getting angry all over again. He was starting to shake now.

He pushed away from the table and stormed through the laundry room and out the back door.

I stared at the door for a moment before turning to Anderson. "Well, that was tense wasn't it, Honey?"

Anderson cooed at me.

I turned back to my math and struggled through it. Finally after I finished the last problem I closed the book. I was certain that most of the answers were wrong. None of it had made sense to me at least. If any of the answers were right, they were right through sheer dumb luck.

I bathed Anderson, using the kitchen sink. It was so much easier than bending over the bathroom tub. He was starting to get fussy again though. His ear was probably hurting again. As soon as I got him dried off and ready for the night I measured out some infant ibuprofen and filled his ear with the numbing drops yet again. It hadn't been very long since he'd had a bottle but I wanted to make sure he was full, so I made a couple ounces for him and settled on the couch to feed him.

Paul walked in just as I sat down and flopped onto John's easy chair, flipping on the TV. Like all men I had ever met, he clicked through the channels rapidly, refusing to settle on one show for more than five minutes at a time. When he did find something he wanted to watch though, I groaned internally. I didn't have to look at the TV to know what the boy was watching. The sound of fists contacting with skin was too deeply imbedded in my memory for me to mistake it. He was watching some fighting show.

I stared at Anderson, trying to maintain my calm. I could not handle watching a man beat the shit out of another person, even for sport. So I tried to block it out and focus on my precious son. My precious son who was fighting the bottle and fussing through his pain. If only the baby would finish so I could burp him and flee the room. I would have an excuse to leave if it was time to put the baby to bed.

Finally, the bottle was empty. I lifted Anderson and began burping him almost frantically. I had to get out of the room. The sounds from the TV were forcing images to my mind that I did not want to see. An enthusiastic roar and an excited burst from the commentator pulled my eyes to the TV before I could stop the reflex. I felt the blood drain from my face as a man slid to the mat, blood pouring from the multiple cuts on his face. My stomach flipped and the breath caught in my throat. I rushed from the room and into the kitchen, my whole body shaking. I settled Anderson in the swing quickly, before I could drop the boy.

Memories assaulted me, twisting my stomach and shaking my body. A hard edge jabbed my back, making me gasp until I realized I had been backing up and had hit the edge of the counter. I clenched my eyes closed, trying to block the visions and the room tilted. With shaking hands I gripped the counter until my fingers grew numb. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't block the memories.

I could see him hitting my mother. His fist pounding into her stomach, her face. I could see the blood flowing. I could hear the sickening sound of flesh on flesh. The cries from my mother, telling me to go to my room and not come out. I remembered yelling at him to leave my mother alone. The blood pouring from my lip. The stabbing pain from my side. My ears buzzing and my mind spinning. I could feel the aches throughout my body as my mind became trapped in the trauma of the past.

When a coo from Anderson pierced through the overwhelming memory, I grasped at it desperately. I had a little boy who needed me to stay strong, to rise above the horrors of my past and become a new person. I had to be stable. I would be a good mother. And I couldn't be a good mother by wallowing in my pain. That would only lead to bitterness, like my own mother had suffered from. No, I would not turn into my mother. Anderson deserved better.

So, I forced myself to take a deep breath, halting the hyperventilating. I brought up a mental image of Anderson as the boy was born, covered in nastiness but still the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. Anderson smiling for the first time. Anderson giggling as I tickled his pudgy legs. Smashed green been goo spilling from his lips. That one little tooth glistening in the light when my son smiled that big smile of his.

I took one deep breath and opened my eyes.

"Ah!" I squealed and jumped nearly out of my skin, slamming my back into the hard edge of the counter once again.

Paul was leaning against the kitchen doorway, watching me with a stony expression.

I straightening quickly, embarrassed that he had witnessed my little mental breakdown.

"I changed the channel," he spoke quietly but his deep voice carried easily across the kitchen.

I sent him a nervous smile and shoved a piece of hair behind my ear with a twitching hand. "You didn't have to do that. You can watch whatever you want. I was just going to mop in here."

His eyes darted down to the spotless floor before meeting mine again. "Don't be a fucking idiot. Come on."

I stared at him for a long moment, unsure if I should go back into the room. It was just plain embarrassing for him to know that I couldn't handle a simple MMA fight without having a panic attack. How could I walk back into that room and watch TV with him now, like nothing had ever happened? He had to think I was weak. He was probably laughing at me. That or he pitied me. I wasn't sure which I thought was worse.

I chanced a look at his eyes, deciding that whichever it was, I would be able to handle it better if I knew. He regarded me with a neutral expression. There was no judgement and no pity, just acknowledgement, acceptance of my stupid little freak-out. I studied his face, looking for any hints that he wasn't really that understanding. There weren't any. He was just waiting for me to follow him.

Something in me clicked and I found myself nodding. Paul dipped his head toward me once and then turned and walked away. I quickly scooped up my son and followed Paul into the living room. I sat on the couch with my back against the arm and my feet stretched out across the cushions, Anderson nestled warmly on the chest. Paul had turned the channel to some cheesy reality contestant show. It didn't hold my attention at all, and probably not his either, but neither of us complained as the contestants ate bugs and lived in crude shelters that barely kept the rain off while they slept. When the show ended a formulaic sitcom started and again neither of us reached for the remote to change the channel, though neither of us laughed at the stupid jokes either.

It was kind of nice actually , sitting in the quiet living room with Paul and Anderson. There was no drama, no yelling. No intrusive question from a worried uncle. Just a stupid story line with predictable jokes. I smiled as I leaned my head back against a pillow, my body relaxing more as each second passed by. I felt some of the fear I had lived with for my entire life slipping away as my eyes slowly drifted closed.

I jerked away, my hand flying to my chest to keep Anderson from falling. But the baby wasn't there. Panic shot through me, and I sat up, my eyes darting around for the baby boy. Had he rolled off while I was asleep? Had I rolled onto him, smothering him?

"Shh. I put him in his crib." Paul spoke quickly, but quietly, his hand hovering just over my shoulder, like he wanted to comfort me but at the same time was afraid to touch me.

I rubbed my face and glanced at the clock. It was completely dark in the house and it felt like the middle of the night, but it was only half past nine.

I stood and stretched slowly, groaning as I lowered my arms. "Ugh."

"What's wrong?"

"I never finished the laundry."

"It's ok. I did."

I peered at him, still groggy from my nap. "You finished the towels?"

He nodded. "They're folded and put away."

"Thanks." I stood there a moment, my brain still not clicking with what I should do next.

A small smiled pulled at the corners of Paul's lips. Huh, he had really cute lips. If I remembered correctly, he could do some really fabulous things with them. "Why don't you go to bed, Jenna? I'll make sure the house is locked up. Go on."

I stumbled to bed, taking a shower as quickly as I could before collapsing into bed. It was only a matter of time before Anderson woke up wanting his middle of the night feeding, so I needed to get as much sleep as I could while I could.

* * *

**AN: Haven't had much time to work on this. Been playing Accountant all week, working 12 hours days with no lunch break, hardly even a bathroom break. I seriously ate my packed sandwich at my CFO's desk the other day while we worked on a project together. Fun times. Anyway, needed a stress relief so I came home after the worst day so far this week to do this (although watching the 2nd highest ranking person in the whole organization tear into someone via telecom, literally climbing halfway onto the table to do so, dressed in a fucking clown costume for the office Halloween party, may just be the most beautiful thing I've ever seen)****. Oh, and don't be thinking you'll be getting such long-ass chapters every time just because I did it this once. Apparently I'm long winded this time.**

**PS: So far no fucking rainbows and unicorns, and I've been on the new meds for a couple weeks, so we're good. Although it is making me tired as hell. It's also apparently a sleeping pill, and since I refuse to put my ass in bed in time to sleep it off by the time my alarm goes off, I'm always tired now.  
**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

**Disclaimer: You already know**

**

* * *

PPOV**

I slipped out of the house as soon as Jenna went to bed. It was my night for patrol. Seth started annoying me immediately all the way from his patrol route on the other side of the rez . He was anxious about something, but he was fighting himself, trying not to think about it. One word kept slipping through though. Baby. Either he knew Jenna had a baby and he was trying to hide it from me, or he'd knocked some chick up. The last time he was around a pretty girl he got so choked up he couldn't even say hi, so I was guessing he was still a virgin. The pussy.

_"Oh thank fuck. You know she has a kid?"_ His thoughts broke free of the dam. A memory gushed forth of Collin and Brady running straight to him after lunch.

Apparently Jenna had received a phone call that Anderson was sick and she had to take him to the doctor. They freaked out and came to Seth, badgering him about how I was going to take it that my imprint had already mated with someone else.

I growled. _"She didn't fucking _**_mate_**_ with someone else. She had sex and had a kid. Big fucking difference."_

_"Technically it's the same thing."_ He replied, mentally sticking his tongue out at me.

I'd rip the thing out if we were close enough, if Sam wouldn't tear into me for it. Last time I'd left my patrol route to fight he had broken my collar bone in punishment. Sure, it hadn't taken that long to heal, but it hurt like a mother-fucker.

So, that's why she hadn't been in school that afternoon. I'd been running patrols, as punishment for all the fighting I'd been doing, so I wasn't able to hang out in the woods close to the school to keep an eye on Jenna, like I had originally planned when I was first suspended. If it hadn't have been for Jake, I wouldn't have known there was anything wrong with Jenna, that she had left school early. When Jake came to relieve me, he accidentally let his worry for Jenna slip through to me. There was something about Jenna's chest hurting the day before and then her suddenly leaving half-way through the day to go to the doctor. I had taken off in a panic stopping by her house to check on her but she wasn't home yet. I had hung around for awhile, but Sam got word that I was pacing in John's front yard and stopped by to order me home. I was worried and had gone home in the wrong state of mind. When James set into me as soon as he stepped into the house, I didn't respond in the Sam-approved manner. I did manage to stop myself before I did too much damage though. I beat the shit out of him of course. He was unconscious but breathing steadily when I left. I don't think he had any serious damage. I wasn't sticking around to fix the man up. I had packed my shit and gone to John's. I was done with the pussy-footing anyway. Jenna would fall for me faster if we lived together. John would just have to understand. She was my imprint. Once I explained that to him, he would come around. He knew how the pack worked. If the fucking Cullens had come back a generation earlier he would have been a member of the pack.

When I first got to John's and Jenna walked into the living room I thought she was going to ask me to leave. She had looked a little upset that I was there. But then she seemed to soften. Oddly enough, I think it was the blood on my knuckles that did it. I'd love to know what went through her mind when she decided to let me stay. I didn't realize until I was in the shower though that she looked perfectly healthy. Why did she have to go to the doctor if she wasn't sick?

The baby in the kitchen had come as a complete surprise. And then she introduced him as her son. My mate had a son. My mate had sex with someone else. She let someone else touch her. Did she love the guy when she got knocked up? Did she still love the guy? Even now, running my patrol route, I felt myself growing nauseous at the thought. If this other guy made her happy, could I really let her go? Could I be the bigger man? If he was such a great guy, then why wasn't he here, helping take care of his son?

If I was going to be a part of her life, then I was going to have to be a part of her son's life as well. Was I ready for that responsibility? That was a scary thought. I wasn't dad material. Hell, look at the father figure I had. I didn't know how to be a father. I was going to be a shitty father. I couldn't handle a ready-made family. What the hell was fate doing? Whoever was in charge of assigning imprints had really fucked up this time. Jenna deserved a lot better than me. I never wanted to fall in love and I never wanted to be a father. I couldn't do right by her or her son. What the hell was I doing? I couldn't do this. I would fail them both. I would only end up hurting them both.

I looped around close to John's house. Anderson's cries reached my ears. I ran closer. I was technically outside of the patrol route now since we weren't supposed to get this close to the houses, but I had to check and make sure everything was ok. I stayed within the trees across the street, but I was close enough to peer into the house. The blinds weren't fully closed on the living room window. Although the lights were off the moon was bright enough to give me a clear view into the living room. Jenna was pacing, with her son in her arms. My heart broke for her. She should be in bed, sleeping. I wanted to go in there, take Anderson and tell her to go back to sleep. I was used to going without sleep. She needed her rest.

I had a job to do though. I made myself turn back to my patrol. But I made sure to run by the house every time my route took me close enough. And every time I did, Anderson was crying. Poor Jenna. She was going to be exhausted in the morning. Hopefully she would call in sick to school and try to get some rest the next day. She needed to take better care of herself.

_"And you think you aren't good enough for her?"_ Seth asked softly.

The kid had been so good at backing off and leaving me alone to my thoughts all night I had actually forgotten he was there. _"Fuck off."_

_"You two were paired for a reason. That's all I'm saying."_

_

* * *

_**Jenna POV**

Anderson woke around eleven, screaming in pain. I rushed to soothe the boy, hoping Paul wasn't a light sleeper. I used the numbing drops again and prepared a bottle, settling on the couch to feed him. Anderson fussed even when he finished the bottle, and his head felt warm again so I gave him more of the fever reducer. Then I began pacing back and forth in the living room, humming a calming tune and hoping that I was far enough away from his room that Paul was able to sleep through the noise.

The night turned out to be a long one. Every time I thought Anderson was finally asleep I would put him down. Then the boy would start screaming before I could even make it into my own bed. Around three in the morning I gave up, wrapping a blanket around us both and sat up in the recliner. Anderson seemed to do better at an incline. So I rested the little boy against my chest, leaned back and closed my eyes. I couldn't rest fully, not without worrying about him rolling off. But I could rest my eyes. A while later I had the bright idea to steal the pillows off my bed, to keep him from rolling off. So I made the trek back into my room and came back with the pillows, building a little dam around me. Finally, I was able to doze off.

The sound of my alarm clock going off in the other room jerked me out of my sleep. Of course, Anderson startled and started crying immediately. I felt like crying too. My eyelids felt like sandpaper scraping across my eyes with every blink and my mind was foggy from exhaustion. But I had to feed my son. I stood and kept the blanket wrapped around us both as I stumbled first to my room to silence my alarm and then to the dark kitchen. I didn't even bother turning on any lights as I made a bottle and shuffled back to the living room to feed Anderson.

Of course, Anderson fell asleep as soon as he finished the bottle. I laid the boy back in his crib and wished that I could crawl back into bed too. Instead I dressed, pulled my hair into a rough ponytail and brushed my teeth before heading to the back porch for a smoke.

When I had first arrived from Oklahoma the air had been cool, but not unbearably chilly. But after only a couple of weeks it was downright cold, at least for my standards. _I should have let John buy me a few things when he offered. I don't even have a coat and it must be in the thirties out here._ I wrapped my free arm around my middle, holding my stomach as it started to shake. My teeth were starting to chatter. I felt ridiculous trying to hold me mouth steady long enough to take a drag from my cigarette. _At least my chest doesn't hurt anymore though._ The bruising from Shane's push had finally started to heal so at least the shivering wasn't making me hurt. _I should have kept the blanket on._ John had handed me that wad of cash to get some warmer clothes, but I hadn't taken the time to use it yet. Now, with Anderson sick, I didn't have the time available. I would have to wait until he was feeling better, which might be that afternoon or it might be several days.

Movement at the edge of the yard, back behind John's building caught my eye. What was back there? Something was coming out of the woods but the light wasn't good enough for me to tell what it was. My heart started hammering in my chest as I backed up. Then the figure resolved into a man. And it wasn't just any man. I knew that figure. There were only a few people on the reservation that large. Somehow I knew exactly who it was. _Why was Paul out walking in the woods this early? And what the fuck is he doing in only shorts? He'll freeze to death!_

As he neared I willed my teeth to stop chattering. I did not want him to hear my teeth clicking together. But my stupid jaw had a will of it's own. His eyebrow shot up as he walked up to me. I narrowed both eyes at him, daring him to make a comment about it. His lips twitched into a grin, but he didn't say anything.

"What the hell were you doing in the woods barefoot? It's too cold to be out here without a coat, much less pants, a shirt and shoes."

He shrugged, looking at me pointedly. "You're one to talk."

My teeth chattered on cue. I started talking, just to keep my teeth from clattering involuntarily. "Yeah, well I'd be wearing it if I owned one. I'm not fucking retarded. It's freezing out here."

He frowned. "Why the hell are you out here then? You should just skip school and go back to bed. You look exhausted."

"I can't skip school, not with John trying to get guardianship of me. I'm just going to finish this cigarette and then go get ready."I rolled my eyes as I brought the cigarette to my mouth. I felt kind of guilty as I pulled on the nicotine-filled cylinder. When I had been pregnant I had promised myself that I wouldn't start up again after the baby was born. I had gone through the awful experience of quitting after learning that I was pregnant, so why start up again knowing that I would need to quit again, for the baby's sake? I couldn't smoke around the baby after all. The baby didn't need the second-hand smoke. Honestly, I needed to quit, for his sake. He didn't need the bad example. How was I going to tell him not to smoke if I was still smoking when he was older? It would only get harder to quit the longer I kept at it. And it was bad for my own health. I needed to take care of myself so I would be around for him as long as possible. And really, how much of an ass did I look like, willing to freeze my tits off all for a little nicotine. I really did need to quit.

Paul glared at the cigarette before moving around me to stomp toward the house. I thought I heard him mutter something about a fucking cancer stick killing me before my time, but that had to be my lack of sleep playing tricks on me. I hadn't imagined the sudden flash of anger on his face before he stormed away though. What was wrong with that boy? Was he PMSing? I frowned as I stared off into the dark. Speaking of PMS. Wasn't I due for that soon? I chewed on my lip. Surely I hadn't fucked my life up that badly twice, right? No. I wouldn't be late. The fling with Paul could not have consequences that dire. I would be right on time and there was no reason to worry about that. And as soon as I was on time I was going to go back to that nice doctor at the clinic and get myself on birth control because obviously I couldn't be trusted to keep my panties on.

I finished my cigarette quickly and rushed inside, eager for the warmth. I stumbled to a halt before I could plow into Paul. He was standing right in front of the doorway between the laundry room and the kitchen, holding a thick hooded sweatshirt that looked his size. Wordlessly he held it out toward me. I stared at it dumbly. _Does he want me to wash it?_

"It'll be too big on you, but it'll help keep you warm and dry. It's supposed to rain today. And you always look cold."

_I always look cold? He really is watching me then._ A smile slowly spread across my lips, totally against my will. "Thank you."

He grinned in response, then glanced away quickly. "It's nothing."

To save us both an awkward moment, ok, an even _longer_ awkward moment, I grabbed the shirt and headed toward my room to pull it on. The material was soft and warm, and it was way too big on me. The hem was almost to my knees and the arms hung down far past my hands. I rolled up the sleeves far enough that I could use my hands, but still hide them inside when I wanted. I pulled the hood up and sighed, rubbing my cheek with the material. I took a deep breath and smiled. It smelled so good. Manly, mixed with a forest smell. I felt safer somehow, wrapped up in the large shirt.

The thought startled me. No. I was not going to develop a crush on Paul. Just because he'd shown some kindness did not mean that I had to act like a fourteen year old with stars in her eyes. He was a nice guy. End of story. No, he wasn't even that nice of a guy. He was just nice this one time. Usually he was an asshole getting into constant fights. I had to keep that in mind. And if he was going to be staying at John's house frequently then falling for him would be completely foolish. John would freak and kick the boy out again and then he would be stuck at home with an abusive father. At least I assumed it was his father, or father figure at the least. It was his small act of kindness that made me start down that path, but I did not have to finish walking down it. I slammed that door closed in my mind and went about making sure I had everything I needed for the school day.

* * *

I stared out the window with a frown. There was no way I was going to eat outside for lunch. Rain was pouring down. Even with Paul's hoodie I'd be soaked through. Which meant no after-lunch cigarette either. It was going to be a long afternoon. I frowned at the containers in the microwave. What about the boys? I had brought the rest of the enchiladas and had planned on giving them to whoever was in the smoking spot. I was sick of eating them and wanted them gone. Now what was I going to do with them? Well, I could take the containers to lunch and if I saw them in the cafeteria I could give the food to them. Hell, who was I kidding? As soon as they saw me in the cafeteria they were going to swarm me, and they would know the food was for them.

The microwave dinged, so I carefully removed the containers, sliding them into my backpack. Just as I zipped it up the lunch bell rang. I made my way to the cafeteria, keeping my head down. Even with the hood up I felt conspicuous. There weren't very many people in the cafeteria yet but I still heard whispers. This was just the end of the my second week attending the school, so I was still the mystery girl. Everyone seemed interested in me, but no one wanted to get to know me. No one talked to me in class except the giants and Kim. The all had friends and seemed more interested in spreading rumors about me. At least, that's what I assumed they were doing. The whispering couldn't be spreading the truth, since none of them knew me well enough to know any truths.

Since I didn't see any of the huge boys already at a table, I went straight to the back of the cafeteria and sat down at a table by the wall. I chewed on my lip and glanced around, meeting eyes that skittered away quickly. Nervously I pulled the hot containers from my bag and considered opening one. I was so tired though, that the thought of food wasn't really appealing. All I really wanted to do was sleep. I was exhausted from Anderson's rough night. In fact, sleep sounded so much better than food. I shoved the containers away and lowered my head to my arms. I closed my eyes and did my best to block out the sounds of the other students filling the cafeteria.

I jumped as the chair next to me scraped the ground and something thunked onto the table next to me. Pushing the hood off my head, I looked up with blurry eyes as Paul's friends began filling the seats around me. I was surrounded by giants again. And once again it was all of them. My eyes fell to the can of coke someone had deposited next to my head. I looked beside me to see that Jake had another in his hands, so was the drink for me? Why would he buy me a drink? He reached forward with a large hand and nudged one of the containers my way before grabbing one and shoving the other two down the table to let the others fight over them.

I sat up all the way, slightly bewildered. What the hell? It was like I was suddenly a part of the group. I leaned forward and looked at the others occupying the table. The boys were busy fighting over the enchiladas in the containers, but they each took a moment to acknowledge me. Collin, Brady and Seth gave me really nervous smiles, while glancing around anxiously. This was just bizarre.

"The food was for us, right?" Jake asked suddenly.

I nodded dumbly. Like I stood a chance of taking it back now even if the answer had been no.

When the container reached Brady, he rolled his eyes. "Oh man," he groaned appreciatively. "Have I told you how much I love your cooking?"

I couldn't help but grin. "I think there was a marriage proposal involved."

The table was suddenly quiet. Brady laughed nervously. "Yeah. Jokingly. Ha-ha."

I was too tired to laugh. The best I could offer was a weak grin.

Brady's grin slid off his face as he looked at me. "Man, you look like hell."

"Watch it," Collin whispered in a warning tone.

I turned to him in surprise. What exactly was he warning Brady about? Everyone at the table was watching our exchange really closely too. It seemed like they were analyzing every word, every tone. It was just plain spooky. I lowered my eyes to my container and stared at it, not quite having the energy to open it and actually consume the food. I knew I should eat, but sleeping was all I could think about.

Jake reached over and opened my container before placing it in front of me. Then he popped my can of soda open as well. "You should eat. Don't want you wasting away."

I shrugged. "I'm not really hungry."

Quil started to reach for my container before I had even finished talking.

Jake's hand lashed out, smacking his friend's with a lighting-fast reflex. "Keep your hands off her food, Fucker. Jenna, as your cousin it's my job to make sure you are taking care of yourself. Eat the fucking food. Now."

I stared at him in shock. Did he just order me to eat? Like he ordered everyone else? Did he actually expect me to obey like the rest of them? "I don't take orders too well, Jacob Black. You can go fuck yourself if you think I'm going to do something just because you told me to."

At first his jaw clenched as I met his stare straight on. But after a moment his gaze softened. "Jenna, you look worn out. I don't know what's going on, but I do know that you won't be able to take care of yourself and it will only be harder to deal with whatever you're dealing with right now if you are starving yourself. Besides, don't you know that guys like to have an ass to grab a'hold of? We don't like skinny chicks. Please eat. For the sake of every boy in this school, besides myself of course, please eat."

I couldn't help but laugh. How could I turn him down when he made such a compelling case?

I didn't even taste the food as I ate, but I choked it down with swallows of coke. Maybe the caffeine would help. I would have to talk to Jake when I was more awake and able to stand my ground. Normally I wouldn't let someone order me around like this. But deep down, I knew he was right. I had to eat. I had to take care of myself so I could take care of Anderson.

"So…" Jake started after a few minutes had passed. The container he held was mostly empty. "This is good, Jenna."

I glanced up. For the first time I realized that he had been calling me by name. Honestly I was surprised that he knew my name. I mumbled a thanks.

He met my eyes and frowned. "You feeling ok? I heard you had to go to the doctor yesterday. Are you sure you should be in school today?"

Half of the table froze, and the other half started watching the frozen half anxiously. It was almost comical. Collin, Brady and Seth were all frozen. How the hell did Seth know what was going on? The rest were lost. I could tell by the look on their faces.

"My son had an ear infection. He kept me up all night. Probably kept Paul up all night too. He was screaming until three or four this morning."

Mouth's dropped open all around the table. I didn't miss the way all of the eyes started shifting around anxiously, almost panicky. Embry leaned over to Jared and started whispering. I heard the words Paul and ballistic, but I didn't catch the rest. I was fairly confident I knew where Embry was going with that though. Paul did seem to have a default reaction to every situation after all, and it certainly wasn't 'let's hold hands and sing show tunes'. What I didn't understand was why Paul should have a reaction at all. I wasn't anything to him. The fact that I had a child didn't impact Paul's life in any way.

Seth snorted. I looked over to see Jared popping the boy on the head. I frowned. What was that about? I felt like someone was watching me still, but none of the boys at the table were really paying attention to me any longer. I glanced around and noticed that the people at the next table were still looking my way. They were evaluating me closely, whispering back and forth. They looked like popular girls, the mean spirited type. One of them was eyeing my hoodie speculatively. I felt so warm and safe in it that I hadn't wanted to take it off even though it had warmed up to nearly sixty degrees, practically balmy for La Push. Now it felt like a neon sign declaring a relationship that didn't exist, but if I took it off now I would look even more suspicious. _Stop being ridiculous. You are surrounded by giants. Those sluts have no idea who's shirt you are wearing and they have no reason to care either way. They probably aren't talking about you at all._

Since apparently my mind had decided to go all paranoid, I decided it was definitely time for a nap. I shoved the rest of my food toward the twins, raised the hood of the shirt, folded my arms on the table, and lowered my head.

"Thanks!" Collin and Brady called out at the same time.

I grinned into the table as I heard the two scuffling over the container. They got so rough the table even rocked a little beneath me.

"Hey, give it here, you got more out of the last one."

"Did not. You did."

My grin widened as they started cussing at each other and pulling back and forth more roughly. The whole table jolted suddenly, making me jerk to keep from smacking my head. I didn't look up though.

I felt Jake shifting beside me and then heard two loud smacks. "Knock it the fuck off. Girl's trying to get some rest here."

I felt my lips pulling apart into a full-blown smile. Having a cousin might come in handy. I'd never had _good_ family before.

"Fuck, where'd it go?" Brady asked.

"Dammit! Quil! You already had your fair share!" Collin protested.

A deep chuckle drifted from the other end of the table. "Should have been paying more attention, Losers."

The afternoon was a long one. I kept falling asleep in class. My head kept falling forward and I would jerk awake in a mini-panic, not knowing if I had been out for half a second or half an hour. To make matters worse, by English I was fairly certain there was a rumor going around about me. I of course didn't know what the rumor was, no one was going to tell me, but I could see them all whispering back and forth, eyeing me speculatively. I scooted in my chair, uncomfortable with all of the attention. What could they be saying about me? How bad was it? How far off base was it? Or even worse, had they somehow learned my past and were now spreading around completely true stories about me?

I woke up a bit in gym class, but only because we had to play dodge ball. There was nothing like a red plastic ball hurtling toward your face to wake a person up. I was out within two minutes of each game. I didn't have the mental capacity to play the game after a restless night. So I sat on the hard bleachers and watched other kids getting smacked. I did get to overhear a little of the gossip though. The gym acoustics allowed me to overhear a couple kids saying my name and the word baby. So apparently Anderson's existence was now known. Not that I had been keeping him a secret.

I drove to John's, my eyelids growing heavier the closer I got. It was a five minute drive, but it felt more like thirty minutes before I pulled into the driveway. What I really wanted was a nap, but I needed to take care of my son. I had homework to do. If I didn't do it tonight, even in my exhausted state, I would never do it. I would wind up forgetting about it. I also had to figure out what I was going to do about dinner for Paul and myself. I don't know why I was even worried about what Paul was going to eat. He wasn't my responsibility. But if someone was in the same house with me anywhere near a mealtime then I had the insane urge to feed the person.

When I walked into the house I was surprised to see Emily and Paul chatting like old friends. They were both sitting on the couch, completely comfortable with each other. Their heads turned when the door opened, and smiles lit up both of their faces as I walked in. It was a nice sight to come home to. It put a little boost in my step, to see two people light up like that just because they saw me walk in the door. Then Anderson saw me. He let out a happy little squeal and reached toward me. A laugh bubbled out of me as all of my day's trouble's melted away.

"How is my little man?"

"He had a rough start, but after an extra long nap he has been really good this afternoon."

I took him from Emily and cuddled him into my chest, closing my eyes and inhaling. His clean-baby scent filled my nose, instantly relaxing me. I opened my eyes to see Emily putting her purse strap on her shoulder, already heading toward the door.

"You coming over for dinner, Paul? Jenna, you and Anderson are always invited."

I glanced at Paul in surprise. Paul ate at Emily's house? Did that mean he was part of the group of boys that ate over there regularly? Then his huge group of friends, or rather, group of huge friends, were probably there usually as well. Quickly, I contemplated eating dinner with them. My mind just as quickly shied away from the idea. I was far too tired for that kind of chaos.

"Maybe some other time." I answered.

She smiled. "I'll see you Monday morning."

"Thank you," I called out just before the door closed.

I turned toward the kitchen, calling over my shoulder to Paul as I walked. "Does chicken casserole sound ok to you?"

Surprise crossed his face. "You don't have to feed me. I can make a sandwich. Or go to Emily's."

I shook my head. "I have to make something for myself and John anyway. He'll be home in a couple hours."

Most teenage boys would stay on the couch, rotting their brain with cable TV. Paul followed me into the kitchen instead. He sat on the counter and watched me putting together the casseroles. After throwing together the ingredients for one I remembered how quickly he had eaten the burgers the night before. So I made another. Then I put them in the oven to bake at a low temperature while we worked on homework.

Once again we both worked on our strengths first, then turned to our weaknesses. If I hadn't been so frustrated I would think it was funny. We were both sitting there, cussing at our books, growing more and more aggravated. I sat back and looked over at Paul. His eyes immediately lifted to mine, his eyebrows raised questioningly.

"This is ridiculous," I stated. "You're having trouble with Spanish and I'm going to flunk Calculus. But I'm great at Spanish and you don't seem to have any problems with Calculus. Why don't we just help each other?"

He grinned. "That sounds like a plan. Let's start with your Calculus."

I pushed the book away. "Let's not. I can't take any more linear regression right now, but thanks. What are you working on?"

He looked down at his book and shook his head with a bewildered expression. "I really couldn't tell you."

I scooted my chair closer to him and leaned in. We worked together like that for over half an hour, heads bent close together over his book. The entire time I felt like I had a head rush. He just smelled so damn good. I had a hard time keeping my breathing even. I wanted to take deep breaths, so I could savor his scent.

Paul was actually a fast learner though. I wasn't sure why he was failing the class because he caught on really quickly. Before I knew it he had completed all of his work and he was closing his book. I sat back as he gathered his books and placed them in his bag.

"Ready to work on some math?"

Before I could answer the oven timer went off. I jumped up and checked on the casseroles. They were done. Paul cleared the table, setting my books on the counter and quickly set plates out. I turned the oven off and set one of the casseroles in the fridge for John before setting the other on the table to share with Paul. I had the feeling that he would eat anything that I didn't.

We were mostly quiet throughout dinner. Until this morning's events popped randomly into my head. I frowned in confusion. Paul had never really explained himself that morning. "What the hell were you doing in the woods this morning? In shorts and nothing else?"

Paul shrugged. "Walking."

I raised my eyebrows. "It was freezing. And dark. And you went for a walk, barefoot, in nothing but shorts, in the woods?"

He looked away, nodding.

I stabbed a piece of chicken, brought it to my mouth, and chewed it slowly, studying him the whole time. He was lying. Or not telling the whole truth at the very least. But I had no way to prove that. And he had no reason to tell me. Paul and I weren't really friends after all. We fucked once. And I helped him with his homework. He was going to help me with mine. Although it remained to be seen whether he was a good tutor or not. He didn't owe me anything. I had no right to demand answers out of the boy. So I lowered my eyes, deciding that I needed to mind my own business.

I fed Anderson while Paul finished off the rest of the casserole. He seemed to enjoy it, if the content humming sound he was making was any indication. It was the same sound Anderson made while he was eating, so I assumed that meant Paul was happy with the meal. Paul even cleared the table and filled the casserole dish with water to soak while I was burping Anderson. I excused myself to change my son's diaper, then sat next to Paul, still holding my son. I couldn't stand the idea of putting him down just yet.

Paul had the math book and my homework set out, ready to get started. Our chairs were even pushed together already. _Are those even closer than they were before?_ He started explaining and it actually made sense. _Now why can't that damn teacher say it like that? _ Paul made it all so clear. I actually understood everything he said. I worked through the problems, only making a few mistakes. But he patiently pointed out the mistakes and helped me to understand why they were mistakes. He never made me feel stupid for making them either. Paul would make a really good teacher. I know, it shocked me too.

"Make sense?"

I nodded slowly. "I think so. Like this?"

I wrote out the numbers, my mind struggling to remember everything Paul had explained as I worked. Paul was leaning down, our heads close together. I could feel the warmth radiating off the arm he had thrown over the back of my chair. That arm was making it a little difficult to think.

"What the hell is going on here?"

Paul and I turned our heads to see John standing behind us. Moving slowly, Paul sat back in his own chair, pulling his arm back to himself. "Hey, John."

John looked like he was about to explode. His face was red and his eyes were glittering dangerously. His attention was focused on Paul. "What are you doing in my house? I thought I told you to stay out for now?"

Paul was the neighborhood boy John had been arguing with? Wait? John wasn't gay? I glanced over at Paul to see that he was shaking again. He always started shaking before he got into a fight. I decided it was time to step in. I did like John after all. And it would really suck to have to find another place to live because the idiot next to me killed my uncle in a fit of rage.

"He's tutoring me in Calculus."

John paused for a moment before turning amazed eyes to Paul. "You're tutoring her? You hate homework."

Paul rolled his eyes. "Have you tasted her cooking?"

The dry response dissolved the tension in the air. John's lips pulled in a grin. "Right."

"Speaking of which," I spoke up. "There is a casserole in the fridge for you."

Paul and I went back to the math while John moved through the kitchen, preparing himself a plate. He grabbed a beer and settled at the table across from us.

"So, how long are you here for, Paul?"  
Paul's body tensed up. I shot a glance at him from the corner of my eye. He seemed nervous.

"As long as you'll allow. I'm not going back there." For some reason, Paul's eyes darted back to me.

John's eyes narrowed. He studied Paul, glanced my way, then looked back at Paul. Suddenly, his whole demeanor changed. Where before he was just wary, not he was seemed more serious, and seriously pissed. "You're only seventeen. If your father wants you back home, I can't keep you here."

Paul snorted. "Not a problem."

"I'm sure he'll come around. He always does." Why did it seem like John was trying to pick a fight with Paul?

"He changed the fucking locks." Paul grinned, a feral grin that kind of scared me. "Of course, I did almost kill him this time."

My uncle looked between us a few more times. Finally, his eyes zeroed in on Paul and all of the fight seemed to drain out of him. "I didn't think I'd find _you _here when I got home, Paul."

I glanced at Paul just in time to see a warning look disappearing from his face. What was he warning my uncle about? Why did it seem like they were having a whole conversation between the words that I was actually hearing? Paul caught me looking and sent me a small, reassuring smile. John's frown deepened. It may have been my imagination, but I thought I heard my uncle mutter something along the lines of, "it had to be the hot-head." That made no sense though, so I doubted myself.

I finished my homework and thanked Paul. He pushed his chair away, standing. "I'm gonna head out to the game room."

As soon as Paul was out of the house John spoke up. "So, are you really comfortable with him being here? Because I'm sure he can find another place to stay if you aren't."

I shrugged, keeping my eyes on Anderson. He was asleep now, still in my arms, but I would much rather look at him than at my uncle. I had a feeling there was something going on between John and Paul that I didn't know about, something that concerned me. It was an uncomfortable feeling. "Sure. Why wouldn't I be?"

"It's kind of weird though, isn't it?"

I frowned, finally looking up. "Why would it be weird?"

"He's a strange boy, showing up out of the blue when I'm not even home? That had to be a little scary for you."

I snorted. "Sure, it would have been if I hadn't eaten lunch with the guy every day since I started school here."

Ok, that was a little bit of a fib. That first day I didn't exactly eat lunch with him, but I did spend part of the lunch period with him. I doubted John would really want the details of that little encounter though. I ate lunch within hearing distance of him for most of that week. Ok, all of this week was a flat-out lie, since he'd been suspended for the duration.

John looked kind of disappointed. "You have?"

I nodded, feeling only slightly guilty for lying to him. But the man was trying to kick out a teenager who needed a place to stay. I couldn't let that happen. "I eat with him and his friends. It was a big surprise though when he showed up yesterday looking like he'd been in a fight. I didn't realize that he was the neighborhood kid you were talking about until he walked in the door, looking like he'd just beat the shit out of someone."

"Language." John said with a frown.

I shrugged. "It's not a problem, John. We're friends. _Just_ friends in case you're worried about that."

Why did John look like he didn't believe me?

* * *

**AN: Sorry it has taken so long to update. My husband and I have been working 50 - 54 hour weeks the past couple weeks. Hopefully my work will slow down some now that I'm finally able to train the new person. My hubby is on mandatory 9 hour days 6 days a week until at least Christmas, so I'll have less time to play on my computer (somebody has to watch my demon children and do all the cooking, cleaning, laundry and all the other day-to-day real-life shit that we like to pretend doesn't exist). Also, this story is just fucking hard to write. I find myself breaking off mid-sentence while writing the chapters to go play in the Firefly fanfic playground and to watch old Sons of Anarchy episodes, which shockingly is not very productive for this story. **

**So, what do you think of the chapter? I made you wait six days, but I gave you over 7,000 words to make up for it. So the wait was kind of worth it, right. Right? Hello? Anyone still there?**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

**Disclaimer= Twilight/SM**

**Jenna POV**

**

* * *

**_It was late at night. Later than I realized. I knew better than to stay up after my mother went to bed. It wasn't safe to be up with him after she went to bed. But I had let myself get distracted by an old movie. I loved old movies. They were so dazzling, with the big song and dance numbers and the witty dialogue. Gene Kelly was singing and dancing, causing a small smile to spread across my face._

"_Come here."_

_A chill spread down my spine, wiping the smile from my face. I closed my eyes, hoping that he didn't know I was awake. From the recliner he didn't have a good view of my spot on the couch. He couldn't see me very clearly, so he might not be able to tell if my eyes were opened or closed. I hadn't laughed out loud for awhile, so maybe I could get away with faking sleep._

"_Baby Doll, come here." He said again, louder this time. I don't think I had ever hated two words as much as I hated the words 'Baby Doll'._

_I swallowed, a thick acidic taste coating my tongue. Fear started to course through me. He was so much bigger than me. What would he do if I angered him? What would he do if he had to come get me? I opened my eyes slowly and angled my head up so I could peer around the armrest to see him. He was staring straight at me, his lips set in that little smirk I hated so much. _

_ With a sigh I pushed myself off the couch. I knew I wasn't getting out of this room until he let me. So I might as well get this over with. He held his hand out and helped me crawl into his lap, his hands gentle but at the same time clamping down like steel handcuffs. It was time for another 'lesson'._

I whimpered as my eyes popped open. At least it wasn't a scream, this time. I closed my eyes again almost immediately. I hated the way these memories tormented me, but there was only one way to banish them. Getting drunk or stoned was the only method I had ever found that could give me a full night's rest without the past visiting me in my dreams. I hadn't had a peaceful night's sleep since I learned I was pregnant with Anderson. At first I had hoped that with time I would grow tired enough to sleep without dreaming. So far, that hadn't happened. A small part of me yearned for the days I could drown my memories with a bottle of vodka, but it was a very small part. I couldn't behave that way with Anderson in my life. He may not have come into my life at the most ideal time. I wasn't ready to be a mother. No sixteen year old was, certainly not one who spent eighty percent of her time wasted. But that amazing little person made everything else in my life bearable. I had never cared before if I lived or died, but Anderson was worth living for. He was worth fighting for.

* * *

**PPOV**

Sam had finally reduced my patrols back to the regular schedule, allowing me a full night's rest for the first time in a week. I collapsed into bed around ten and slept like a log until a soft sound from Jenna's room jerked me out of sleep. I sat up in bed wide-awake. _Was that a gasp? _ Was she in pain? Scared? Was it a nightmare or was she hurting? Did she need help? What would she do if I went through the shared bathroom to check on her? _She'd probably scream for John's help and then the bastard would kick me out._ The man was waiting for the first excuse to get rid of me after all.

I listened carefully for any indication that my whole reason for existing needed my help. After a few long moments I heard her moving around. Her dresser drawer opened and then slid closed. Then her closet door. She was getting up for the day. I glanced at the clock with a frown. What the fuck was she doing getting up at six in the morning on a Saturday? Seconds later the kid started to cry. Either she was the world's best mother, knowing her son was going to be waking up any second, or that was one hell of a coincidence.

Briefly I considered laying down and going back to sleep. I had a week's worth of missed sleep to make up for. But Jenna was walking down the hall now. Was I seriously going to waste time sleeping all day when I could be spending time with her? I jumped out of bed. Hell no. My imprint was trapped in this house with me. I was going to take advantage of this opportunity. I used the bathroom quickly and then went in search of Jenna, finding her on the living room couch.

She was staring lovingly down at her son, laughing as she wiped formula off his cheeks. He had grinned at her, spilling a mouthful. I had to smile at the sight. She was so fucking beautiful, especially with a baby in her arms. It was so easy to imagine that he was mine, especially with the dark hair and skin. _What the fuck, Man! You don't want kids. Shut the hell up about how beautiful she looks with babies._ The wolf in me growled, internally of course. The wolf wanted her to be knocked up as frequently as possible, to pass on the wolf gene and to show the whole world that she was mine.

"Do you ever get to sleep in?" My internal debate caused my words to come out in a harsh tone. Great. Way to come across as a fucking asshole.

She didn't even look up at me. "No one asked you to get up with us. Feel free to go back to bed."

I threw myself into John's recliner. It was at the perfect angle to view Jenna. I ran my eyes over her face, studying her. I couldn't get enough of this girl. Her brown hair and tanned skin were both a lighter shade than I was used to seeing. It was a nice change. Her bone structure was clearly Quileute, but from the lighter shading I would bet she wasn't full blood. She was looking at Anderson, so I couldn't see her eyes clearly. From memory I knew they were a warm chocolate brown.

"So what do you have planned for today?" I asked, hoping I could somehow weasel myself into her plans. It wouldn't be difficult if she was going to stay home all day. I'd just make sure I had an excuse to be in whatever room she was in, or near it at least. I couldn't follow her into her room or the bathroom without the situation turning a little weird.

"I'm going to ask John to take me shopping. I need some winter clothes."

Only months of practice controlling my body's natural reactions kept the smirk of triumph from slipping onto my face. I managed to keep my tone of voice neutral too. I deserved a fucking medal for that shit. "John's gone fishing with Billy and Charlie. He probably won't be back until it gets dark."

I had to time this right. If I appeared too eager she'd probably run the other way. If I didn't offer soon enough she'd think of somebody else.

"Oh." Her shoulders fell and disappointment filled her face. "I guess I can just Google the maps. It's how I got out here."

Horror filled me. The fool girl drove here by herself using maps she'd gotten off the internet? Never mind the fact that the map's directions could have been completely wrong, stranding her in the middle of nowhere hundreds of miles from the place she called home. She was lucky to be alive! Did she have any idea what kind of sick bastards were out in the world looking to abuse sweet, innocent girls just like Jenna? And those were the human monsters. I'd probably phase in John's recliner if I started thinking too hard about the others out there that could have gotten to her.

I forced my mind back to the matter at hand. "Google won't tell you if something makes your ass look big. I don't have anything better to do. I can take you."

She narrowed her eyes and looked at me, studying my face closely. Was she looking for an ulterior motive? _Hell yes I have an ulterior motive, Sweet Cheeks._

She sat Anderson up on her lap and began patting his back harder than I would have thought advisable. Her brow was furrowed as she stared down at her son. She must be in really deep thought. Did it really take that much concentration to decide whether or not she wanted to go shopping with me? Damn, that hurt.

Anderson let out a burp that would have made Quil proud. As if that had been the sign she was waiting for, she gave a little sigh and looked up. "Ok. I'll let you take me shopping."

I couldn't stop the smile that spread across my face as I hopped up. "Great. Let me go get dressed. Then we can go to the diner for some breakfast. We're out of eggs and I'm starving."

"I'm driving." She announced as I started in the direction of my room.

"Like Hell." I growled, spinning around. There was no way I was going to sit on the passenger side like a bitch and let her drive me around.

"Then we aren't going anywhere," she replied, her voice completely calm but hard as steel. There was no room for debate in her words. I knew that there wasn't a chance that I was going to change her mind. If I really wanted to go anywhere with her I was going to have to let her drive.

What was the big deal? I let Jared drive. Sometimes. Hell, I was already going to spend the day shopping. If it had been anyone else I'd rather pull my own teeth out with a pair of pliers. But as long as I was spending time with Jenna I could withstand all the shopping torture she could throw at me. So fuck yeah, I could handle sitting in the passenger seat if that's what I had to do in order to stay with her all day.

* * *

Jenna settled the baby carrier on a seat between us. I glanced at Anderson from the corner of my eye. The poor kid was strapped into that contraption like that serial killer from the Silence of the Lambs. He seemed happy enough but seeing him confined like that was driving me crazy. I didn't even like to wear shirts. Being forced to keep shoes on my feet for a few hours was enough to make me anxious. And the kid had a five-point harness holding him down so his arms and legs were the only body parts he could move around.

"What can I get you, Sweetie?"

Sue Clearwater stood at our table, a pad of paper ready in her hand, a warm smile aimed at Jenna.

"I'll have the number one with orange juice please." She handed the menu over with a smile.

Sue turned to me and her smile widened. "The usual?"

"Of course."  
Jenna leaned closer to me as Sue walked away. "You come here often enough to have a usual?"

I chuckled. "I have a usual breakfast, lunch, and dinner at Sue's. If she had a cot in back I'd live here."

She smiled as she leaned over, reaching into the diaper bag. Anderson's eyes lit up as she pulled out a container of baby food. I watched the jar as she maneuvered it around, trying to pry the lid off of it. Whatever was inside was a horrible green color. What was she feeding that poor kid?

The lid finally popped off. I leaned back in my seat as the smell hit me. _Fuck, I'd rather starve to death than eat something that smells that bad._

She put the container down and leaned over to dig in her bag again. I leaned forward to peer at the label of the baby food jar, to see what shit she was feeding her son. Peas? For breakfast? What was wrong with this girl? At least get the kid some applesauce or bananas for fuck's sake. Not vegetables. There was something fundamentally wrong with starting the day out with mashed peas.

She popped up faster than I had expected, catching a look of disgust on my face. A laugh burst from her mouth. "I promise I'm not going to make you eat any."

I leaned back, crossing my arms. "Why the hell are you making him? Give the boy some fruit or something."

She shook her head, picking up the jar. "All the parenting books and the nurses at the clinic say that he'll only want sweets if I start him on fruits. He has to start on vegetables or he'll never eat them."

Huh. Well that kind of made sense. I sure as hell wouldn't eat that shit if I'd had applesauce first.

And the kid did seem to like it. She had slipped a bib on him and started feeding him. He was eating it as fast as she could get the spoon from the jar to his mouth. The boy had a healthy appetite.

I glanced around the diner, feeling like someone was watching us. It was still pretty early, just barely seven am, but there were already a couple of girls from school sitting in a booth in the corner. They were watching our table with wide eyes. As soon as they noticed me watching they turned away, whispering to each other. There would be a rumor around school by Monday morning that I was Anderson's father. I didn't mind, but I knew Jenna would have a problem with it.

My eyes continued through the diner, landing on a couple of old timers who had also been watching us. They nodded to me, showing respect that most teenagers wouldn't receive from an elder. But these men were old enough to know the tribe's legends and to put stock in them. When they saw a group of teenage boys shooting up literally over night, and then saw the tribal council suddenly meeting with those boys, they knew what was happening. They also assumed that Anderson was mine, but their faces didn't hold the same judgmental expressions.

"Here you go!" Sue said as she started unloading food on the table.

She set a plate of scrambled eggs, bacon and a short stack of pancakes in front of Jenna. Then she started with my plates. I had a little of everything. Eggs, hash browns, sausage, bacon, pancakes, toast, ham, more eggs, more bacon, and Sue's buttermilk biscuits. I would kill for that woman's buttermilk biscuits, hot out of the oven so the butter melted into them. I was starting to drool at the thought.

Jenna's eyes widened. "You're seriously going to eat all of that?"

I grinned at her and placed a biscuit on her plate. "Yep. I might even get seconds."

* * *

**Jenna POV**

"How the fuck do you unfold this thing?" I heard Paul growl in frustration.

I laughed, imagining the expression on his face as he struggled with the stroller. I finished unlatching Anderson from his car seat, grabbed the diaper bag and backed out of the rear seat of the car. Paul was twisting the folded stroller around, shaking it roughly, a frown across his face. I rushed forward, afraid that he was going to damage it beyond repair if he became much more frustrated.

"Here," I held Anderson and the diaper bag out toward him.

Paul stared at my son for a long moment before setting the stroller down. He threw the diaper bag over his shoulder before hesitantly reaching his hands forward. His hands hovered, trying to figure out where exactly to grab Anderson. Rolling my eyes I shoved the child into the larger boy's arms.

"He won't break unless you drop him. Just put one arm under his butt like this and support his back like this." I positioned his arms for him, noting that his skin was burning up. I would have to be more considerate on the way home and turn the heater down. Paul must have been suffering from heat exhaustion the entire drive from La Push to Port Angeles.

Pushing the release buttons I popped the stroller open with a flick of my wrist. Paul didn't waste any time depositing the baby into the seat. He didn't look the least bit comfortable holding a child. He stepped back to look at the stroller.

"Well I feel like a fuckin' genius."

I grinned at him. "You should have seen John. I let him fight this thing for half an hour before I finally rescued him."

He returned my smile as he fell into step beside me. Nerves began to twist my stomach almost immediately as we headed down the sidewalk toward the stores. I felt like every person we passed was judging me for being so young and having a baby. The guilt only increased when I realized that the judging looks were being extended to Paul. Everyone assumed that he was the father, that we were a little family unit.

I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye. He appeared unfazed by the attention we were receiving. How was that possible? Did he just not notice? Or was he that good of an actor? "Doesn't it bother you that people are looking down on us?"

He raised his eyebrows and glanced at me in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

_He really is that oblivious._

He looked around, finally paying attention to the people walking by. I could see when he noticed that the passersby always glanced between us and the baby several times with disapproving expressions. His eyebrows shot up momentarily but then his face returned to a neutral, calm expression. I doubted he had even considered what people would assume when they saw him out with me and a baby when he offered to take me shopping. And apparently he honestly didn't care. That or the boy needed to move to Hollywood when he finished school because he was a damn good actor.

"Nah, doesn't bother me." He stated calmly.

I wasn't sure if I could believe him. Teenage boys didn't want to be associated with the children they did father. No teenage boy was going to react so calmly to one he didn't have any reason to be associated with. He and I weren't even friends, so his calm acceptance couldn't be out of loyalty to me.

"Well it bothers me. I mean, I deserve the judgment. But you don't."

Paul turned a frown on me. "You'll never see these people again, Jenna. Who gives a fuck what they think?"

I shrugged and turned away, unable to meet his gaze any longer. I turned my attention to the window of a shop we were passing and spied a few things that didn't scream 'I'm a cheap whore' or 'I'm desperate for acceptance and will sleep with anyone.' So I turned the stroller in that direction and reached for the door, hoping that Paul would drop the subject. He reached around me quickly, grabbing the door and holding it open for me to push the stroller through. Unfortunately he kept talking though.

"Hell, you're already doing a better job than a lot of parents I know. You're a lot better than my shitty excuse for a father."

My hand was on his arm before I even realized it was moving. "I'm sorry."

He straightened his shoulders, sending me a relaxed grin. "No big deal."

Sensing he wasn't comfortable with the touchy-feely direction our conversation was feeling, I turned away from him and pushed the stroller the rest of the way into the store. To tell the truth, I wasn't very comfortable with it either. I wasn't here to bond with the guy. I was here to find warm clothes so I wouldn't be wearing his hoodie every day. This was supposed to be a way to distance myself from him.

"I feel bad for dragging you out here. I'm sure this isn't the way you wanted to spend your day, shopping for clothes. Do you want to take off or something and meet up in awhile?"

"Nah, I'm good," He replied. He paused, then his voice came out a little gruffer. "You trying to get rid of me?"

I turned to him quickly. "No!" Embarrassment flooded me immediately at my panicked over-reaction. "I mean…I just didn't want to be a burden. Or ruin your day."

He shook his head, staring at the clothes racks, avoiding my eyes. "Just pick out your clothes."

I decided to follow his advice, trying to move through the selection as quickly as I could. But it had been years since I had the money to really shop for clothes. And my wardrobe was so limited. I hadn't ever had a large one to begin with and most of my clothes from my old life weren't really appropriate for winter in Washington. I needed warm clothes. Unless I wanted to live in Paul's hoodie every day until it warmed up. _And what the hell is up with the part of me that wants to do that?_

Paul was a surprisingly good sport. He followed me through store after store, pushing the stroller and staying with Anderson as I tried on arm-full after arm-full of clothes. I didn't even know what fit my body anymore. My whole body shape had changed after the pregnancy and I found myself wearing completely different cuts of clothing now. The whole process of finding new clothes was frustrating and time consuming. Perhaps that was why I decided to try on the low-cut, skin-tight, lace-up bustier. I was frustrated and tired of trying on outfits. When my eyes landed on the bustier, something I would have bought and worn in my old life, my mischievous alter-ego reared her ugly head.

Paul jumped up off the husband chair as soon as I walked out of the dressing room.

"Fuck!" He glanced around quickly. "Someone's gonna see you!"

I couldn't help but laugh at the expression on his face. I had wondered if I could still carry off this look and now I had my answer. If I could drop Paul's jaw, then my body must not be in too bad of shape after having a child. Paul motioned me toward the dressing room.

"What the hell, Jenna? John'll never let you out of the house in that."

I grinned at him, my confidence levels higher than they had been in months. "You don't like it?"

His eyes narrowed. A thrill shot through me. I had forgotten just how much fun this could be. His eyes darted down to my chest and back up again. I had to fight a grin as his jaw clenched. This was the most powerful feeling in the world.

"I think people will get the wrong idea if they see you in that. They'll assume you're a whore and a bad mother."

His words felt like a slap in the face. But he was right. He was so very right. I couldn't wear this out in public without giving everyone the idea that I was a slut. People were predisposed to think that already since I had a child at my age. And they were right. Back when I conceived my son I had been a complete slut. The bustier had been fun at first but now I couldn't wait to change out of it.

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

"Good. Go change. Now." He spun me around and shoved me toward the dressing room, his blazing hands briefly grasping my shoulders.

The few steps back to my dressing room felt like a walk of shame.

* * *

**AN: I have just been to Hell. Sure, an unbiased observer may argue that I was simply cleaning my boys' bathroom. But after attempting to hand-scrub the urine out of the tile and grout I contend that no, that room is in fact an annex of Hell. I swear to you I even heard Satan laughing in the background. **


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

**Disclaimer: We've covered this already.**

**Jenna POV**

**

* * *

**"Looks like John's back early," Paul stated as I pulled into the driveway.

I nodded, shutting the car off. I wasn't really in the mood to talk, hadn't been since the bustier incident. Paul had tried a few different angles to pull me out of my funk. He had tried talking about school, he'd tried cracking a few jokes, he even tried to start a conversation about Anderson, but nothing worked.

Paul hopped out of the car and opened up the backseat, reaching in to grab the handles of all my clothing bags. I shook my head at him. "You don't have to do that. I can come back for those."

He frowned at me. "Naw, I got it. I'll put all this in your room."

"Thanks." I unhooked Anderson and followed Paul into the house.

"Where the hell have you two been?" John demanded as soon as we walked in the door.

He was standing in front of his chair, his eyes filled with anger and his shoulders tense. I took a step back, holding Anderson closer to my chest.

"We were just shopping," I replied nervously. "I needed some warmer clothes and Paul offered to help me find the stores."

John made a sarcastic little snorting noise. "I'm sure he did. And it took all day? I've been home for hours. I had no idea where you were!"

I frowned, glancing at Paul. The boy was tense. Great, was he going to get into a fight with my uncle now?

"I thought you'd be fishing all day."

"Well you should have left a note! I was about to call Sam to send the boys out looking for you! Do you have any idea how worried I've been? You could have been dead in some ditch! For all I knew you and Romeo here could have decided to run off into the sunset together!"

Paul took a step to the side, putting himself between John and me.

"You need to back the fuck off, John," Paul stated in a warning tone.

"The hell I do! This is my house. If either of you want to continue living here then we need to have some new rules. From now on when you're leaving the house I want to know where you're going and when you'll be back."

"What the fuck, John!" Paul started to protest.

I stepped out from behind him and spoke up quickly before Paul could argue himself out of a safe place to live. "Ok. We can do that."

Paul turned his glare on me. "You don't have to do that, Jenna."

"The hell she doesn't," John started to reply.

I held my hand up in John's direction, giving him a little smile before turning back to Paul. "What's the big deal? It's just common courtesy. I'm sure John would agree that _everyone_ in this house should be courteous enough to leave a note when we leave. After all, I had planned on going shopping with John today and would have waited around for hours not knowing that he was out fishing for the day."

Paul turned a smirk on John. "That's right. And once she realized you were gone, she planned on printing out some maps from the internet and wandering out on her own with Anderson. There's no telling what could have happened to her driving around out there alone."

I put my hand on my hip, irritation mounting. I wasn't completely helpless here. "I am perfectly capable of reading a map. I did manage to make it here from Oklahoma by myself after all."

Paul's eyes narrowed. "Don't remind me. Do you have any idea what kind of psychos you could have run into on the road? Those cheap roadside motels are not a safe place for a single woman and her son."

_Well it's a good thing I didn't step foot in any fucking motels then, huh?_ But I knew better than to open my mouth and mention my sleeping arrangements during that drive. Paul would flip out if he knew just how reckless I had truly been. I glanced at John, willing him silently to keep his mouth shut. _Come on John, don't rat me out._

When I glanced back at Paul I nearly gasped. He was studying me, his expression growing harder with every passing second. His body was beginning to vibrate. His jaw was clenched when he opened his lips to speak. "What the fuck happened that you don't want to tell me about your trip up here?"

I widened my eyes. "I don't know what you're talking about."

His eyes narrowed. "You can't lie to me, Jenna. I can tell when you're lying and hiding things from me. What. The. Fuck. Happened."

I stepped back, needing to place some distance between the boy and my son.

John was at my side before I had finished shifting my weight. He reached forward, placing a hand on Paul's shoulder. "Son, you need to go outside and calm down. She made it here safe, that's the important thing. Now go out and don't come back until you have yourself under control."

For a long moment I thought that Paul was going to rip John's arm right out of socket. But then he gave a curt nod and stormed out the front door. John breathed a sigh of relief. He squeezed my arm briefly, quickly dropping his hand away.

"Looks like you found a few things while you were out."

So, we were going with the 'pretend that the fight never happened' route. I could do that.

"Yep. The only warm shirt I had was actually Paul's, so I had a lot to buy."

John sent me a funny look at that statement but didn't respond directly to it. "Well, I'll take care of dinner so you can get it all put away."

So I put Anderson in his crib, made a few trips back and forth to get all of my bags, and began the process of taking tags off all my new clothes.

* * *

**PPOV**

What the fuck was wrong with me? I could not lose control of my temper like that with Jenna in the room. I certainly had no business directing my anger at her. _But she was lying to you. She could have fucking died on her way here and you never would have met her._ A wave of red washed over my vision again, nearly doubling me over with the desire to give in to the rage. But I would not do that. I turned and paced across John's back yard.

I was going to handle this like a normal, human, adult. A well adjusted, normal guy did not burst into a fur ball just because the one person who meant everything to him had a habit of making reckless, spontaneous decisions. I was going to calm my ass down and go back into that house and discuss this in a rational manner. We would sit down at the table and I would explain to her that she was never going to drive across the country alone again. That she wasn't going to rely on fucking Google maps and the kindness of every stranger she came across. She was so fucking naïve!

I pushed shaking hands through my hair. Why the fuck did I end up with the girl with a death wish? _Hah, it would have to be the one with a death wish. Who else would accept you?_

The back door slammed, echoing like a gunshot in the quiet afternoon air. I spun around quickly to see John storming toward me, his eyes hard. My hands immediately gripped into fists, but I held them back. I couldn't fight John. He would kick me out and then I would only see Jenna at school. And only on the days I wasn't suspended.

"Don't you ever get that close to losing control around my niece again, do you hear me? The second you feel yourself starting to get mad you better turn your furry ass around and walk away. Understand?"

I clenched my jaw. I wanted to tell John to go fuck himself. That probably wasn't the wisest response though.

John's jaw tightened. "I'm one fuck-up away from calling Sam Uley, Pup. The only reason you're still in this house is so I can keep an eye on you. If I think for one second that you are a threat to my niece, I'll have him put an Alpha order on you to keep you away from her. So you better keep your shit together."

My vision began to blur as my body began to vibrate. The fucking prick had the gall to threaten me with an Alpha order? As if Sam would ever pull that shit on me? He would never force me to stay away from my imprint. He knew that I _needed_ to be close to her. I couldn't go without seeing her even a few days.

"See, this is what I'm talking about." John said, his voice tight with anger. "You're about five seconds from killing me, and all I'm doing is talking. What happens the first time Jenna's being a bitch because she's PMSing? You gonna take a swipe at her? Trust me, a woman is damn hard to live with when she's on the rag. And if she's anything like her mother she'll be the mother of all bitches."

My first instinct was to tear the mother-fucker's head off for daring to insinuate that my Jenna would ever be a bitch. Then his point filtered in. The shaking started to wind down as my brain finally kicked in. Holy shit. I had been pissed at Jenna because she was hiding something from me. What the fuck would I do if she was ever intentionally bitchy to me? She wasn't safe around me, not the way I was behaving. And that's exactly why Sam would order me to stay away from her. Because he didn't want me to make the same mistake with Jenna that he had made with Emily. Sam had to see the reminder of his loss of control every time he saw the love of his life, his reason for existing. Sure, when he saw those scars he saw Emily's unconditional love for him, but he also saw regret and self-loathing. It was a bittersweet experience for Sam, looking at the face of his imprint. Knowing my Alpha, I knew he would do whatever he needed to do to make sure I didn't live with the same burden for the rest of my long life.

My shoulders dropped. "Fuck."

John patted my shoulder. "Why don't you stay out here a bit longer. Think this over some more. I'll call you when dinner is ready."

I nodded, already lost in thought. This was some heavy shit. My imprint wasn't safe with me. What the fuck was I supposed to do about that? I needed her, but I was the last thing that she needed. Once again I wished that I could spend just a few minutes alone in a dark alley with whoever was responsible for this whole imprinting bullshit. Sure, this was working out great for me. Who wouldn't be happy finding out that they were meant to spend the rest of their life with Jenna? But fuck, the poor girl was going to run screaming when she found out that she was supposed to be stuck with me. It made me want to skip the whole part about telling her she had a choice about where our relationship went. I'd love to tell her that we had to wind up as lovers, since hell, that's where we started.

I ran my hands through my hair again, tugging on it as the stress ate at me. Friends was probably the relationship she needed. It was a fucking disappointment, but if that was what she really needed, then that was what she was going to get. I'd be the best fucking friend she'd ever had. Hell, I'd learn to braid hair and paint her nails if that was what it took. And I would work on controlling my temper while I earned the right to at least call her my friend. I would not put her in danger again. Of course, I was going to have to start out slow. The girl had to be terrified of me by now, after all of the times I had lost my temper in front of her. Hell, how many times had I seen her shrink away from me? All I had to do was work on my homework next to her to see that she was scared of me. How the hell was I supposed to back off and help her to stop being afraid of me?

This wasn't going to be easy.

**

* * *

AN: Sorry this one is so short. Didn't want to throw words in there for the sake of word count alone though. This just felt like the right place to end this chapter. And you know...my mind went completely fucking blank...so there's that.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

**AN: To all the lovely people reviewing - - you guys all rock. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I have had NO muse lately and tons of stress but you guys inspire me to keep writing. Chapters wouldn't come out quite as often as they do without you guys. **

**Disclaimer: You know I'm not her. I wouldn't be working so many extra hours at work if I was.**

**

* * *

Jenna POV**

Monday morning dawned damp and chilly, for a change. At least I had weather appropriate clothing now. I pulled a soft, hooded sweatshirt on over my T-shirt before heading outside for a cigarette. I shoved one hand into the giant pocket in the front of the hoody as I smoked, trying to keep my hand from freezing. The shirt was soft and thick and slightly over-sized but not ridiculously overwhelming my frame like Paul's had.

My stomach was starting to quiver with the cold. _Man I need to give this shit up. If I wasn't smoking I'd be inside where it's nice and warm._ I blew out a deep breath and couldn't tell where the smoke ended and where the cold air-induced fog began. I frowned down at the cigarette. What the hell was I doing? I was freezing my ass off for an addiction I knew I needed to give up, an addiction I knew had the potential to kill me. If I planned on giving it up sometime in the nebulous future, why the hell was I prolonging this? I was torturing myself on this cold-ass back porch for something I knew couldn't last. And I was running the risk of stealing time from Anderson with every puff off this damn cancer stick. What the fuck was I thinking?

I slammed the cigarette into the ash tray. That was it. I was done with smoking. I had quit once, I could do it again.

I walked into the kitchen, rubbing my hands to warm them up. Anderson slammed his toy against his swing in greeting, babbling at me. Paul glanced up from his mixing bowl of cereal, nodded silently, and then lowered his gaze back to his food. I was going to have to buy enough cereal for a family of five now that Paul was staying here. My eyes lingered on the top of his head for half a second before skittering off to the side quickly. Ever since our shopping trip I had been having trouble looking at him. I was embarrassed after making such a big fool of myself in front of him. I could feel the blood rushing to my face as I made my own bowl of cereal and hoped that he didn't notice the blush as I chose a seat across from him.

He had to think I was a whore after I pulled that stunt. Well, maybe not a whore, but I had the feeling his opinion of me was severely damaged at the very least. He was acting weird around me now. It was the little things I noticed. His tone of voice was different. He looked at me differently. He seemed to be keeping his distance now.

I didn't know how I felt about the change in his opinion of me. On one hand, it was a little relieving. After all, I hadn't really wanted him to be interested in me anyway, had I? With my focus being on Anderson, I didn't have the time or energy to have a relationship. And I couldn't take the risk of letting the wrong guy into Anderson's life. My mother had made that mistake and look what happened to me because of it. I couldn't let that happen to Anderson. I didn't think for a second that Paul was anything like Alan, that he would ever touch my son inappropriately, but then, I'm sure my mother never believed that Alan was capable either.

On the other hand, his standoff attitude was starting to hurt my feelings. It didn't seem to matter that I had never really wanted his attention. Now that I didn't have it I missed it. Just a little. It wasn't like I was love sick or anything. I just had to become accustomed to the change. There wasn't even that much to miss. It's just that he wasn't staring at me all the time now. He wasn't inching closer to me when he thought I wasn't paying attention. And on Sunday he had left the house as soon as he finished eating breakfast and hadn't come home for hours. When he had come home he hadn't said a word to me. He'd been fucking Chatty Cathy to John, but not a word to me.

Paul slurped up the last of his milk noisily and stood, scraping his chair across the tile floor. "See you at school."

I swallowed quickly, trying to clear my mouth to speak before he made it out of the kitchen. "Wait!"

He turned in the doorway, his eyebrows raised in question. "Yeah?"

"I was going to bring some of the chili I made yesterday for lunch. You want some?"

He shrugged. "I guess."

Then he turned and walked out of the room. I frowned down at my bowl of Cheerios. I could literally feel the boy walking through the house. It felt like a tug in my chest, like there was a string connecting us and I could tell which direction the string was pulling from. My Paul GPS was still fully functioning. My frown deepened. This was not normal. This was the stuff a science fiction-obsessed nerd's dreams were made of.

My stomach churned. Paul should not be so entrenched in my life. I barely knew him. Why was I reacting so strongly to him? Why did I jump him within minutes of meeting him? Why did I care so much how he treated me? I didn't give a flying fuck how the rest of the school treated me. So what made him so special? It certainly wasn't his charming personality.

"Hey, you okay?" Emily's soft voice interrupted my thoughts.

I looked up from the cereal, realizing that it had turned soggy as I had been staring at it. I stood and dumped it, rinsing the bowl. "I'm fine."

The tugging in my chest paused. Paul had stopped in the living room. I turned around to see him standing at the front door, his dark gaze pinned on me. He looked worried when I first met his gaze, but then his expression cleared almost immediately. The expression was gone so fast I had to wonder if I had really even seen it. He held my gaze for half a second longer before opening the front door and leaving. I turned back to Emily to see her watching me curiously.

I gave her a small smile. "Well, I'll see you after school."

I grabbed two containers of chili and two sleeves of crackers before rushing out of the kitchen. Emily watched me leave with a knowing expression on her face. _What the hell does she think she knows?_

_

* * *

Okay, what the hell is going on?_

Jared, Embry and Quil all gave me nervous grins as soon as I walked into Spanish. This was unusual behavior for them. Usually they acknowledged me with a nod or a small twitch of their fingers and then went back to their conversation. As soon as I sat down though, they all swiveled in their seats to stare at me with oddly anxious expressions.

"So," Jared began, glancing back at the others before continuing. "How's your day been so far?"

"Fine." I responded, trying to ignore the longing for nicotine. Usually I didn't even need a cigarette this badly until lunch. But knowing that I wasn't going to get one was playing tricks with my mind.

"Good, good." Jared replied.

"So nobody has messed with you?" Quil pressed.

Was this about the jock assholes? Were they expecting trouble now that Paul was back in school? I had assumed the likelihood of that was lower now that Paul was back to make sure the jocks stayed in line. Unless they decided they had something to prove. Maybe that was what the three stooges here were afraid of.

"Why? What have you heard?" I tried to keep my voice calm but some of my worry must have slipped through.

Jared smacked Quil on the back of the head with a frown. "Shit Quil, you make it sound like there's a hit out on her." He turned back to me with a smile that was probably supposed to be reassuring. It looked like a lie to me though. "Naw, there's no problem. We were just checking on you. Hadn't heard from you all weekend. You know friends don't just talk to each other in school. You afraid to ruin your rep by hangin' with us away from school too?"

I wanted to smack that grin right off his face. Trying to lay a guilt trip on me like that. Two could play that game. "Yeah well, being a teen mom isn't easy guys. I have certain responsibilities. I can't just drop them to go run off and play like most teenagers."

Their grins disappeared in the blink of an eye. Quil, the goof-off, nodded with a serious expression. "Yeah, we get that."

I didn't know how they could possibly understand where I was coming from. They couldn't understand the responsibilities I had. But somehow, just watching their eyes, I had the feeling that they actually did understand. That they lived with burdens just as great. Don't get me wrong. I love my son. But having a child while still being a child was a burden. The teacher walked in and announced a pop quiz, disrupting my musings.

* * *

Collin leaned toward me as soon as the history teacher's back was turned. "Hey, have you seen Paul yet today?"

I raised an eyebrow at him. "I see him every day, Collin. We live together."

Several heads around us whipped around at my response, and I realized in consternation that neither of us had been very quiet. Thankfully the teacher hadn't heard us. Collin ignored our audience and rolled his eyes.

"No, since you guys got to school."

I shrugged and lowered my voice a little. "No. We don't have any classes together until the afternoon so we don't see each other till lunch usually. Why?"

Seth smacked Collin's arm and hissed. I glanced up to see that the teacher had turned around. He was watching us, his arms crossed and an aggravated expression on his face.

"Are you finished?"

I blushed and lowered my head. "I'm sorry."

Collin nodded. "Won't happen again, Sir."

The teacher eyed us both warningly before turning back around. Collin waited about five seconds before turning back to me. I kept my eyes firmly on the teacher. There wasn't a chance in hell I was going to get in trouble for whatever this boy wanted to talk about. It couldn't be that important. John's case to get guardianship of me was almost cleared. I was not going to do anything to jeopardize it. A single afternoon of detention probably wouldn't hurt the case but I wasn't going to find out the hard way that it did.

"Hey," Collin whispered a little quieter. "Just a head's up. Paul's gonna be pissed when you see him."

I rolled my eyes but kept them on the teacher. What's new? Paul's always pissed.

"There's a rumor going around about-"

The teacher suddenly spun around, catching Collin in the middle of his sentence. "That's it! Both of you to the office!"

My jaw dropped open. "But…I wasn't doing anything that time!"

The teacher pointed toward the door.

I gathered my things, tears of anger filling my eyes. As I threw my things into my bag I heard Collin mutter an apology to me. I turned to him. "Well you aren't forgiven. And you know what? I'm never feeding you again."

"Hey, can I have his share?" Brady asked as I stood.

"Sure." I threw over my shoulder.

"Sweet!"

"That's enough out of you or you'll be joining them," I heard as the door closed behind us.

"I'm really sorry!" Collin pleaded as I speed walked toward the office. "I didn't mean to get you into trouble."

I kept my mouth shut. If I opened it I was going to end up with more than detention. I would probably end up doing a damn good impression of Paul. With flying fists and all. How dare this little punk jeopardize my chance to provide a good future for my son! He was going to regret it if this had any repercussions as far as John's case was concerned. I would make Paul look like a fucking pussy cat.

Collin grabbed my arm, stopping my progress right outside the principal's office. "I'm really sorry. Please say you forgive me?"

I narrowed my eyes and tried to reign in my temper. I spoke quickly and quietly, so the people in the office behind me wouldn't overhear. "Listen you little Prick. Because of you and your inability to keep your mouth shut in there I might be sent back to Oklahoma. Do you know what happens if I'm sent back there? NO? Well I get put back into foster care. I've been in foster care before. It's not pretty. There are some really sick fucks pretending to care about people to get their hands on some extra money or a few cute underage kids. I can survive it again for two years. That's not a problem. The problem is that my son will also go into foster care. And it might take me years to get him out once I'm a legal adult. _That_ is not acceptable. So if I go back to Oklahoma, you're coming with me. Chopped into itty-bitty pieces."

I spun around, took a deep breath to calm myself, wiped my expression clean, and opened the door to the principal's administrative office. I picked the wrong fucking day to quit smoking.

* * *

Kim rushed up to our table in home economics. "I heard what happened, are you okay? Are they going to suspend you?"

_Yes. They're suspending me but let me finish the day. Dumb-ass. _ I took a deep breath to calm myself. Without the nicotine to lull her into her typical peaceful slumber, my inner bitch was clawing at her cage. I started digging through my bag, hoping I had a stick of gum or a piece of hard candy, anything to keep my mouth occupied for a few minutes. "Thankfully the principal was willing to listen. He understood that I was trying to pay attention and had no control over Collin's actions. Collin's fucked but that's his problem."

Kim stepped back with a surprised expression. I felt momentarily bad for throwing the kid under the bus like that, but then I remembered everything I had on the line. He should have shut up when the teacher warned us. He made the decision to keep talking. Dammit. No gum. I threw my bag on the floor with a grunt of frustration.

Kim set her things down and fidgeted next to me. Great, now she was offended. She didn't like the way I was treating her friend. Well I didn't like the way he risked my son's future. Where was her sympathy for me? Huh? I crossed my arms and indulged in my self-righteous indignation for a few moments. Finally the tension at the table became too much to tolerate. Besides, my common sense was starting to leak past the self-righteousness. Kim had no idea what Collin's actions could have cost me. All she saw from her side was a cold-hearted bitch sitting next to her. No wonder she was giving me the cold shoulder.

I sighed. She probably wouldn't even be willing to hear my side now. What could I say to get her to listen? "It's a good thing the principal went so easy on me. I don't think I could have handled watching some other couple raise my kid."

I waited for the words to sink through her defenses, watching her from the corner of my eye. Her tense body slowly loosened. Her shoulders relaxed. Then she turned to me. "What?"

Finally I turned to face her. "If I get into any trouble and John isn't able to get custody of me, then I have to go back to Oklahoma and into foster care. Anderson will go into foster care too. I don't think I could handle that."

Her mouth fell open. "That's awful."

I nodded. "I've been trying to stay out of trouble. But I could tear that kid's head off right now, Kim. I don't care what rumor is going around, no gossip is important enough to get my son taken away from me."

Kim shook her head. "He didn't know. And he thought you would want to know since it's about you and Paul. And Anderson."

My mind froze. "What?"

"Someone saw you guys out together this weekend and now the whole school thinks Paul is the dad. And there's a new rumor going around school this morning. Something about you guys living together."

I groaned. Great. I had started that one myself. "That must be why Collin said Paul would be mad."

Kim chuckled. "He said Paul would be mad?"

"He'll be enraged. He's always mad about everything. Of course he'll be mad about this."

Kim shrugged, a strange expression on her face. "I don't know. I don't think Paul would really be mad about this one."

I snorted. "Cause every teenage boy wants to be a dad so bad they're willing to claim someone else's kid."

She shrugged again. "You know Paul. He doesn't really care what other people think. Rumors don't bother him."

I shook my head. "Right. Paul is known for letting shit roll right off his back."

* * *

I took a handful of crackers and set them on the lid of my container of chili then slid the rest of the opened sleeve toward Paul, along with his larger container of chili. He nodded, oddly quiet. I glanced out across the cafeteria to see half of the room watching us. Ugh. The whole school had heard the rumor and most, if not all, of them probably believed it. The fact that I was feeding the guy and he was sitting right next to me probably didn't help any.

Brady claimed the seat across from me with a hopeful look toward my chili. I shook my head. "Didn't bring enough for everyone."

His shoulders dropped. "Dammit. And I was going to get Collin's share since he got you into trouble today!"

Cracker dust flew halfway across the table as Paul crushed the two crackers he'd just picked up.

"What?" He growled. "What the fuck did Collin do?"

Brady's eyes widened. "Shit. Uh, it wasn't a big deal. Look!" He held his hands out toward me like I was some prize on a game show and spoke with forced cheer. "She's still here! She didn't get kicked out or anything!"

"What did he do, Brady?" Paul growled a little louder as he leaned across the table toward the younger boy.

Jacob pulled out the chair next to me, scraping it loudly across the floor. "Hey, Paul. I was gonna watch Anger Management tonight. Weren't you saying just yesterday that it had been forever since you'd seen _Anger Management?_ Wanna come over and watch it with me?"

Paul leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms. When he answered Jacob his tone was sullen. "Yeah. I guess."

Okay. That was just weird. There was a hidden message in there somewhere. Paul didn't look too happy about it, but at least he didn't look like he was thinking about jumping across the table and tearing Brady's head off anymore. Oh, _Anger Management, _not exactly a well hidden message.

Brady sent Jacob a wide-eyed, thankful look.

"Hey, Jenna." Jacob greeted me as he placed a soda in front of me, like he hadn't just used a handful of words alone to prevent Paul from massacring someone.

"Thanks." I said as I popped the soda open. "And hey to you too."

He sent me a big grin as the rest of the guys started arriving. Quil set an over-loaded tray down across from Paul. He winked at me before turning back to Paul with a mischievous grin.

"How's the baby-daddy this fine afternoon?"

Paul frowned for a second, glancing at me with a slightly panicked expression. Then his face cleared. "Oh. He's talking about that stupid rumor."

_What the fuck did you think he was talking about?_ I wanted to slap him for daring to even fear that he had knocked me up. _Hell no. My decision to quit smoking isn't the only reason I'm having such a hard time holding back the inner bitch today you fucker._

He turned back to Quil with a shrug. "Could be better. I'm flunking Spanish. _Again._ This is the third fucking time."

I turned to him with a frown. "How the hell are you flunking that class? You seem to understand it when we work on your homework."

"Wait just a fucking minute. Paul does homework now?" Embry asked with an awed expression. He turned to Jared. "Call the Pope. She's a damn miracle worker."

I glared at the boy before turning back to Paul. "What happened?"

Paul shrugged, looking away. "Missed a big test while I was suspended. And a lot of class work."

"So get the class work you missed. You are going to go back to that teacher and you are going to ask for some extra credit. There is no excuse for you to flunk that class, Paul. You know this shit. You are not stupid."

His jaw clenched.

"Don't poke the angry bear!" Seth hissed from the far side of the table.

Paul sent Seth a death glare. His eyes softened a bit as they turned to me, but they still weren't anywhere near friendly. "She's not going to give it to me. She hates me."

He was probably right. If he was flunking for the third time then the teacher had probably given up on him. She'd think he was just fucking with her if he went in there suddenly asking for extra work.

"Fine. I'll go with you. Eat. We'll try to get in there before Calculus."

I don't know why, but the idea of Paul not living up to his potential really pissed me off. It just was not acceptable for him to sit back and allow this to happen. He was going to pass that class and I was going to push him as much as I needed to make sure he succeeded.

**

* * *

PPOV**

I clapped Jake on the back as I fell onto the couch next to him. "Hey, Man. Thanks for stopping me at lunch. Almost fucked up Operation Calm the Fuck Down on the second day."

Jake grinned. "Sure, sure."

He waited a second then the grin slid off his face and he shrugged. "Didn't really do it for you. Couldn't watch Jenna suffer through another week without you there at school. I mean, it was better once you moved into John's but it still wasn't good."

"Oh yeah?"

Jake nodded. "Yeah. Shit, it looked like she was having a heart attack before you moved in. Must be hell to be separated from your imprint. Hope I never have to go through that. Just going through your memories is bad enough. She was better after you moved in but she was still kinda...I dunno...just distracted and sad I guess."

"Huh." I sank into the couch.

I felt like shit, knowing that my actions had caused my girl to feel so bad for a week. It didn't even help, knowing that I was doing everything in my power to make sure it didn't happen again. Everything in my power almost hadn't been enough earlier at lunch. Had it? If Jake hadn't walked up and reminded me with his not so subtle hint about my anger issues, I'd probably be stewing on Sam's couch about the extra patrols he'd just given me for beating the shit out of Collin and getting another week of suspension, again.

"You want me or Sam to to lay an Alpha command on you? Something about you not being able to throw any more hissy fits?" Jake offered.

I considered the idea briefly before shaking my head. Sam was the official Alpha, but with his lineage and place as Beta, Jake's orders could be just as effective. "No. I need to be able to say I did this on my own. What good is it if it's a forced change?"

Jake nodded. "Makes sense. So you staying? I've got some new movies. They're in Chinese or Japanese or some shit so we can't understand a word they're saying but there are some kick-ass moves. Maybe learn a few things we can use on the leeches."

I stood. "Naw. Jenna's making dinner. Don't want to be late."

Jake perked up. "What's she making?"

I shrugged. "No clue, but it'll be good. She makes the best fucking food I've ever eaten. Don't tell Emily."

"Think I could come along?"

Well, Jenna might not appreciate the unexpected company, but Jake might come in handy. He had proven pretty useful at lunch after all. It might not be a bad idea to start hanging out with Jake a little more, keep him by my side to help me stay in line. Kind of like a safety valve. I was doing my best to back off, give Jenna a little space. But if I started to get a little too angry, Jake could remind me again, pop me up side the head, Alpha order me to chill the fuck out. Anything to keep me from exposing Jenna to my temper again.

"Sure. Come on. She should have dinner ready soon. Gotta warn you, we'll be working on homework as soon as we're finished eating though."

Jake snickered, but grabbed his backpack. "Hell, I should probably get caught up on mine too. I've got a couple week's worth shoved in here."

**

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AN: Reviewers, please feel free to ask any questions, make observations, etc that come to mind. It helps me to come up with the finer details that I need to flesh out since I've had to change this so much from the original version when I brought it into the Twilight world. A lot of the original story had to be scrapped, such as the END, so I have a lot of work to do on this and your little questions and comments/observations play into that a lot more than you might think!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

**AN: Past two days of work were spent in all day meetings, during which I spent far too much of my time lost in thought about this story instead of listening in case a question came up that I would have to answer. Thankfully I never had to open my mouth. I even managed to stay awake and keep my smart-ass comments to myself!**

**Disclaimer: Same old shit**

**

* * *

Jenna POV**

The front door opened and my cousin Jake walked in like he owned the place. _Who forgot to lock the front door?_ It was probably John. He'd left just ten minutes earlier to go fishing with his brother Billy and their friend Charlie. Jake plopped down on the couch next to me with a lazy grin, looking far too bright and cheerful for six in the morning.

"How's it goin'?"

Even his voice was happy. Did this boy snuff ground up unicorn horns every day to get so damn happy? What was wrong with him? "The sun isn't even up yet. What the hell are you doing here?"

His smile didn't fade in the least. "We're going fishing!"

I rolled my eyes down to Anderson. "Well Paul must have forgotten about your little play date because he's still sleeping. You'll have to go wake his ass up. Have fun freezing your asses off out there."

Jake shoved my shoulder lightly. "You're coming too."

I shook my head. "Don't know when you started sniffing glue, but no, I'm not."

"Yes, you are. You can't stay cooped up in this house every weekend. You have to get out and have fun. When was the last time you went anywhere other than school?"

I smiled triumphantly at him. "Went shopping with Paul last weekend and I went grocery shopping last night."

Jake shook his head. "I said you have to have fun. I've been shopping with Paul. That definitely doesn't count. And grocery shopping? Unless you take Quil with you, there's no way that can be fun."

"Jake," I whined. "It's freezing out there!"

He shrugged. "You said yourself, you went shopping. You've got warmer clothes now, right? That was the whole point, wasn't it? So bundle up."

"But I don't know how to fish."

"So you'll learn."

"What the fuck are you two arguing about? And what the fuck are you doing here, Black?"

We both turned to see Paul leaning against the entry way between the living room and the hall. His hair was standing straight up and he had a vertical line across one cheek. His eyes were little slits, but it was hard to tell if that was from sleepiness or anger. With Paul it could be either one. He hadn't shaved yet so he had a day's growth of stubble and he was only wearing a pair of flannel pajama pants. Damn, that boy was hot.

"You'll have to be more specific there, Paulie. We're both named Black."

Paul's eyes narrowed the slightest bit. "Smart-ass. She lives here. What the fuck are you doing in my house this early upsetting Jenna?"

Jake chuckled and threw an arm around the back of the couch. "This is John's house, not yours. And I was just explaining to her that we're all going fishing. So get some clothes on."

Paul stood there for a long moment before turning his eyes to me. "Do you want to go fishing?"

I didn't know how to answer. Did I want to go? Not really. I'd never been fishing before in my life and I hadn't really planned to learn in forty-degree drizzle. But then again, did I really want to stay in this house all by myself for another long Saturday? I would end up going over my completed homework again. Then I would read over the next couple of chapters, again. I would probably clean the house after that. John's house was already pristine, because I kept the house clean throughout the week and always cleaned it top to bottom again on the weekend. Plus Emily was a clean-freak as well and couldn't help but clean while Anderson was sleeping during the day. So why not try something new? If it was horrible I could always ask them to bring me home.

"I guess I could try."

Paul nodded and turned around without a word, heading toward his room to get dressed.

Jake turned to me with a smile. "That was too easy. So, hand the kid over and you can go get dressed. The fishing is best either early in the morning or late in the evening. We need to hurry."

"Are you sure? He's almost done with the bottle. It'll only be a couple minutes."

He shrugged. "It's just a bottle right? I just have to hold it steady and then pat his back when he's done? I've seen you do it. Doesn't look like rocket science."

Nervously, I handed my son over. This was a different experience. I had never seen a teenage boy who wasn't nervous about the idea of holding my son. Jake seemed perfectly comfortable though as I transferred the boy over. Anderson didn't appear to have a problem with it either. He even sent his cousin a grin, which Jake returned.

"See? He likes me. Go get dressed Little Mama. I've got this all under control."

I was half-way across the room when a complication stopped me in my tracks. "What are we going to do with him while we're fishing?"

"I already talked to Emily. She's willing to take him for a few hours. Her house is on the way. She's even packing us a breakfast."

Wow. Jake had all the details planned out. That made me feel a little better about this excursion. If he had taken the time to think about childcare for my son, then he had probably planned this pretty well. Jake seemed like a pretty trustworthy guy. The more time I spent with him the more I liked him. Of course, with that big smile and cheerful personality, it was damn hard not to like him. And I had spent plenty of time with him lately. He had shown up for dinner every night after school this week. I had to make extra so I would have enough to feed Paul and Jake dinner and have left-overs to take to lunch the next day for everyone. It was a good thing John paid me a weekly allowance. I had to start dipping into it to supplement the grocery money he left every week. The guys ate a lot.

I dressed quickly, making sure to layer my clothes. That was something I had figured out pretty quickly. If I wore a couple thin layers, I could remove a shirt if I got too warm and add it back if I started to get cold again. Then I topped it off with a waterproof coat. By the time I made it back to the living room with the diaper bag all packed and ready to go, the guys were ready and waiting. I glanced at Paul doubtfully. How was he supposed to stay warm in one T-shirt with a flannel thrown over it? He couldn't even stay dry in that. The boy was insane.

I grabbed Anderson and headed for my room once again. "Let me change his diaper real quick and then we can leave."

We had to make a pit-stop at the bait shop/gas station to buy the bait. Instead of waiting in the car I unlatched Anderson and followed the guys into the gas station. Paul noticed me and broke away from Jake. He met me by the coffee station, where I was trying to fill a cup with coffee while holding Anderson at the same time. Wordlessly he took Anderson from me. Huh, maybe he wasn't quite so anxious about holding a baby now that he'd seen Jake holding one. Nothing like seeing another guy doing something he'd been afraid of to make a teenage boy realize he'd been acting like a pansy.

"Thanks."

"You know, Emily will probably have travel mugs of coffee ready for us."

I shrugged. "I need it now."

I took a sip of the coffee and sighed, closing my eyes. I opened them to see Paul grinning at me. "Yeah, you do need your coffee as soon as possible in the mornings."

"That's a fine looking boy you've got there." A voice stated from behind us.

I turned to see an older gentleman waiting in line for the coffee. I blushed. "I'm sorry. I was being rude and blocking the way."

The man smiled at me. "Not a problem, Missy." He winked at me. Paul stiffened beside me and the old man chuckled, shooting Paul an amused look. The man turned back to me. "I completely understand the need to take that first sip. I can't function right without my first cup."

I stepped closer to Paul, to allow the man to move around me. Paul immediately placed a hand on the small of my back. I knew it was all in my head. There was no way I could feel anything through all the layers I was wearing. But I could swear I felt a spark at his touch. I felt an immediate sense of safety, of warmth.

"We'll just get out of your way so you can have that first cup, then." Paul stated in a neutral tone.

The old man nodded at Paul, his eyes twinkling but his body language oddly formal, respectful even. Then he turned to me and repeated the gesture. "You two have a lovely day. And enjoy that coffee. Betty brews a good cup."

Paul led me to the register, his hand still on my back, gently steering me through the aisles. There were only a couple of people in the gas station, most of them old men there for the coffee, sitting in the small sitting area, nursing their drinks. And they were all watching us. When I glanced their way they sent me smiles, nodding their heads. I didn't want to be rude so I returned the gesture.

"Crazy old men," Paul muttered under his breath.

"What was that about?" Jake asked as we reached the register.

"I have no fucking clue." Paul replied.

* * *

Emily's house was a cute little cottage tucked away in the woods. Jake and Paul walked up the porch steps like they had been there a hundred times before. Then Jake surprised me by opened the front door without even knocking, just like he had at my house. Did this boy never knock? Was this a Jake thing or a La Push thing? Was the entire community this open? Did they just treat each other like one big happy family? Was that what the old men's behavior was about in the gas station? But then, Jake and Paul's confusion over the encounter wouldn't make sense.

I followed the boys into the house nervously. Would Emily have a problem with me just walking into her house uninvited? I know she walked into mine every morning, but I had given the woman a key. This was a little different. Sure, she had invited me over time after time, but never once had she told me to just walk on in.

A girl sitting on the couch looked up. She was beautiful, but her face was set in hard lines. Anyone else might have assumed she was a bitch on first sight. But I knew that look. I had worn it long enough after all. She was wearing a mask of anger to hide a heart filled with pain.

She sneered at us. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Emily walked into the room with a bright smile. "Good morning!"

Anderson cooed and leaned toward her immediately.

Emily turned to the cranky girl. "Be nice, Leah. And watch your language." Emily turned back to us. "Jenna, this is my cousin, Leah. Leah, this is Jenna. She's Jake's cousin."

Leah rolled her eyes. "Yeah. I know who she is. Reservation's too damn small to miss the new girl moving in."

Her eyes raked over me, judging me and clearly finding me wanting. "Although, I don't see what all of the fuss is about."

Paul trembled beside me. Jake took a step back, placing himself next to Paul. He opened his mouth to speak but I beat him to it. I placed a hand on Paul's shoulder, speaking quietly.

"Don't we need to be going soon?"

"The food is in the kitchen. Boys, can you get the bags?" Emily phrased the words as a question, and her sweet voice was quiet, but there was a steel edge to it. There was no mistaking that it was really an order.

Jake and Paul walked through the opening that led to the kitchen, where I could see two large grocery sacks waiting on the dining room table. As soon as they walked away I turned my attention to the girl on the couch. She was still looking at me, still studying me. I cocked an eyebrow at her and hugged my son to my chest.

"You know, you aren't the super bitch you want people to think you are," I stated calmly.

She smiled grimly. "I really am. A bitch I mean."

Emily looked between us for a moment before moving to take my son from me. "Time for you to get on the road, Jenna."

Emily practically shoved the boys and me out of her house. She was probably afraid a fight would break out between her cousin and me. She wasn't too far off. I wasn't actually angry, but her cousin had started to shake a little, like Paul. That girl seemed to be the female version of Paul. She was all temper. I may not know why she was like she was, but I could definitely empathize.

"So, are we meeting your dad?" Paul asked.

Ugh. I hadn't even thought of that possibility. Had Jake hauled me out here to fish with my uncles and their buddy? What kind of sick masochist was he?

"Hell no!" Jake shuddered. He shot Paul a glare. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Jake turned back to the road. He was driving my car, since we needed to have a car seat for Anderson but only he knew where we were going. "Fishing with my dad and Uncle John. Jackass." He muttered to himself. Then he spoke up louder. "They take a boat out in the bay. We're going to fish along the river."

The rest of the ride was fairly quiet. I sipped my coffee and watched the green trees fly by. Jake drove a lot faster than I normally would. I hadn't noticed it earlier, so either I hadn't been paying attention or Jake had been driving slower when Anderson had been in the car.

Before long we were trudging through the trees. I was holding three poles in one hand and a tackle box in the other. The boys were carrying the food Emily had packed, a metal bucket and the bait. The walk through the forest didn't take very long. In only a couple minutes we made our way from Jake's parking place on the side of the road to the side of the river. Paul set up my pole and showed me how to cast and reel. Then he walked over a few feet to give me room as he set up his own pole.

For the longest time we didn't talk. The only conversation was sparse and centered around the fishing. Mainly, me asking for help when my line got tangled, which happened almost every time I tried to reel it in. Or for help when I actually caught a small fish. Paul deemed it too small to keep and threw it back though. Paul and Jake were catching fish left and right. They collected the fish in the metal bucket, which they lowered back into the water after each fish they caught was deposited inside.

I wasn't catching anything. But I was still having fun. It was peaceful by the river, casting and reeling, casting and reeling. The repetitive motion was soothing. Even if I was freezing my ass off and my hair was starting to stick to my head from the damp, I was enjoying this. Going along with Jake had been the right decision.

"I'm ready to eat, how about you?" Paul asked.

Jake tossed his pole onto the bank. "It's about fucking time. I'm starving."

I grinned. Why hadn't they just eaten as soon as we arrived? I peered into the sacks Emily had packed. She had a full-fledged picnic for us. There was even a quilt so we wouldn't have to sit on the ground. I pulled it out of the sack, shaking it out by the corners. Once I was seated on the quilt I arranged all of the food. And boy had Emily prepared a lot of food.

"So, are we boring you too much," Jake asked as he started on his third helping.

I sipped the coffee that Emily had poured into travel mugs for us. Lowering the mug I shook my head. "No, this is nice."

"Even though it's cold and wet?" Paul asked.

I nodded. "I like it. Maybe not for every weekend, but it's nice for a change."

"So what did you do for fun back in Oklahoma?"

I frowned and looked away. I wasn't very proud of my past. Did I really want to tell them about it? "I was a different person back in Oklahoma. Before I had Anderson."

Jake eyed Paul, like he was afraid of how the boy would react to my words. "You don't have to tell us anything that makes you uncomfortable."

What was I afraid of? That these two would shun me and never speak to me again? I couldn't see Jake doing that to anyone and Paul would just be hypocritical for reacting like that. He wasn't exactly perfect himself. _Besides, _I reminded myself _you don't care what he thinks about you._

I shrugged. "I was just a lot different. Did a lot of partying."

Jake raised his eyebrows. "Partying? Like drinking?"

I nodded, glancing over at Paul. He was chewing his food slowly, his eyes down. I couldn't read his reaction at all.

Jake grinned. "So you were a wild woman, huh?"

I smiled, relieved. I wasn't going to lose my cousin over this. "You could say that."

"So, did you party on special occasions or were you an every weekend party girl?" Jake asked, his grin as wide as ever. There wasn't a trace of judgment on his face.

I grimaced, picking at a biscuit. "Oh I was worse than that. I was popping pills daily and chasing them with any booze I could get my hands on. I was a fucking mess."

Paul finally looked up at me. His dark eyes unreadable. "Do you miss it?"

I recoiled at the thought. Anger filled me. "No! No way in hell am I ever living like that again!" I shook my head and looked away, out toward the river. "I was killing myself slowly. And I didn't even care. But then Anderson came along and suddenly I had a reason to live. He's the best thing that ever happened to me."

"There aren't a lot of teen mothers who would say that." Paul commented.

I shrugged. "I don't care what someone else would say. He's the most important thing in my life."

Paul nodded, a serious expression on his face. "I can understand that."

Jake hopped to his feet suddenly, surprising me. "Well, I'm full. Let's get this cleaned up and catch some more fish. Jenna hasn't caught her lunch yet."

Paul stood and held his hand out to me. I looked up at him, trying to read the expression on his face. Did he judge me? Was he going to become even more remote now? Some days the only time we spoke was when we were at school or when Jake was there for dinner. The house was so uncomfortable after Jake left and it was just Paul and me. Lately I had started making excuses to go to bed early, just so I wouldn't have to stay in the living room to endure his silent treatment any longer. I was getting plenty of sleep though.

His expression was free of any judgment, as far as I could tell. His face was just so hard to read. But would he be offering to help me up if he judged me? I doubted it. Paul didn't seem like the type to offer something just for the sake of being polite. Slowly I took his hand, relishing the warmth. He was always so warm. He pulled me to my feet so quickly I overbalanced and started to tumble into him. Shifting my feet quickly I centered myself before I could collide with him. Dropping his hand quickly, I turned my attention to cleaning up the mess from breakfast.

"Come on, Paul," Jacob called. "We gotta catch enough fish to feed Jenna lunch. Obviously she won't be catching her own."

I quickly threw the rest of the breakfast mess into the sacks before taking up my pole again. I was going to prove Jacob Black wrong. Even if it took all morning.

**

* * *

AN: I'm envisioning them arriving at the side of the river just as the sun comes up, about forty degrees with drizzle coming down. Basically cold and wet and kinda miserable. Much like my first fishing trip with my husband. But it was fun. Spent most of the rest of senior year of university skipping class to go fishing with him...and wound up with our oldest son...whoops.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

**Disclaimer: Ya know this already.**

**

* * *

PPOV**

I felt like bashing my head through the window, but then Jake and Jenna might realize something was up. This shit had me all twisted up inside. All week I had stuck to my plan to back off, to give Jenna some space. If I could just show her that we could interact like normal people then maybe she could learn to trust me. So far I had managed to do well when we ate meals together and went over our homework together. Basically, whenever Jake was around. I was able to hold my temper and keep my feet out of my mouth. I didn't let my instincts take over and do anything too stupid when he was around. He kept me grounded.

I almost fucked it all up by the river though. Jenna's words kept running through my head. My reason for existing hadn't cared whether she lived or died. She had pumped countless drugs through her body. She'd been a drinker. What else had she done while she was inebriated and high that she hadn't chosen to tell us about? The idea of the abuse she had put herself through angered me, but I had fought to keep from betraying any of my inner turmoil. _But she trusted you enough to tell you._ The thought had shocked me. How could Jenna trust me already? I hadn't done anything to earn her trust. Was it just the imprint bond working on her? It had to be. I wasn't worthy of her trust. _Who fucking cares why she trusts you? Just enjoy the fact that she does, Jackass._ So I had hopped to my feet and offered to help her stand up, because I just wasn't thinking.

Then she fucking flinched. She didn't trust me at all. What the fuck? She flinched when I held my hand out to help her stand up? She was still scared of me. I hadn't made any progress with her at all. My heart had felt like it was shattering as I watched her debate whether she was going to take my hand. It didn't even help when she finally decided that she could trust me enough to help her stand up.

Leaning my head against the cool glass of the passenger side window, I closed my eyes. I felt like crying. And it had seemed like things had been going so well this morning at the gas station. I had even pushed through my fears to help her when she needed it. I had grown a pair and held her son so she could get some coffee. Sure, I could have gotten the coffee for her instead. But I wasn't stupid, I'd seen the way she felt about that kid. If I ever hoped to get close to her, I would have to prove that I could be a part of her kid's life too. And maybe I needed to prove to myself that I could handle holding the boy without kicking off the apocalypse. Shit, Jake had fed the baby a fucking bottle like a pro. He'd even burped him. I could hold Anderson for two minutes without curling into the fetal position.

The car stopped. I cracked my eyes open to see that we were already back at John's house. Jenna was already opening the car door and hopping out with Anderson. Damn, she was fast at getting him out of that car seat contraption. I unlatched my seatbelt and popped the door open.

Jake grabbed my arm before I could get out of the car. "Follow me. We need to have a little talk."

He was in full Alpha mode. Shit. I nodded. We walked into the forest. Jake led the way, his shoulders tense. The further he went into the trees, the more my shoulders dropped. Fuck, he was mad. What the hell was he mad about? What did I do? I didn't do anything to her! I didn't yell at her. I didn't say a word about her past. I cleaned the three fish she caught that were anywhere near big enough to keep. Hell, I took them off the hook for her because I could feel how uncomfortable the thought was making her. That was a fucking weird feeling, the emotions of your mate leaking over through the imprint bond. Apparently it only happened with really strong emotions and she had been _really_ freaked out by the idea of taking those fish off the hooks. So I'd offered. The relief that came across had nearly knocked me over.

Suddenly, Jake turned to face me. Before I could react his fist was connecting with my face. I stumbled back as blood began to spurt from my nose.

"Fuck!"

Reaching up I quickly shifted my nose back into place with an audible, and fucking painful, snap.

"What the fuck, Black! What was that for?"

Jake stood in front of me, his fists clenched. He was visibly shaking, but I could see that he was trying to control himself. "That was for treating my cousin like shit."

My eyes widened. "What? I haven't been treating her like shit! I can't treat her like shit. She's my imprint. It's not possible."

Jake rolled his eyes. "Well you've managed to find a way around that. You've been a complete prick to her."

"I have not! You've seen the way I treat her. I'm being a complete gentleman."

Jake glared at me. "You have to be doing something when I'm not around. I didn't miss the way she was looking at you when you tried to help her up."

"I haven't been doing anything! I swear! I haven't even been talking to her!"

His eyes widened.

I nodded quickly. "I swear! I'm not fucking this up. I'm not doing anything around her unless I have backup."

Jake shook his head, a look of disbelief plastered across his face. "You are fucking retarded."

I opened my mouth to respond but had to shut it again. How the hell was I supposed to respond to that? Anger washed over me. I fought the shaking though. As strong and fast as I was, Jake was stronger and faster.

"You can't ignore her all the time you Jackass!" Jake yelled at me. "You can't only talk to her when the rest of us are around! She's going to think you hate her!"

"Well I can't talk to her when we're alone! I'll fuck it up!" A feeling of hopelessness overwhelmed me. I couldn't do anything right when it came to this girl. The anger burned through the feeling quickly though.

"She's your imprint, Dumbass. Just be yourself. Let instinct take over and everything will be fine. You're going to fuck it up by being too careful."

"You do remember what happened the one time I let instinct take over, right? I fucked her at school, right out in the open. That's not exactly an option. I doubt Jenna would appreciate that. You either for that matter." I snapped back at him.

"I'm not telling you to fuck her in public, Moron." Jake growled. "Just stop over-analyzing everything. Fuck, you're being such a girl right now. Go with the flow. Be more natural and see what happens."

"I don't know how to do that." I complained anxiously. Once again the anxiety was quickly replaced with anger.

"Well you'd better figure it out. If this goes on much longer I'm going to beat the shit out of you."He gave me one last look before leading me out of the forest.

I trudged back to the house, pulling off my shirt to wipe the blood off my face. John was sitting in his recliner. _Great. I'm not in the mood to deal with his shit today._ But the man didn't even glance at me. He was frowning at the TV, a look of guilt plastered across his face. What was going on? I glanced around. Where was Jenna? I analyzed the house quickly and realized that besides John and me, Anderson was the only other person here. It sounded like he was sleeping in his crib. Where the fuck was Jenna?

Now that I was concentrating on her, I could feel her behind the house. Dammit. If she was smoking again I was gonna be pissed. She'd only quit a week ago. Most people started up again within a week of quitting, didn't they? She could do this. She was stronger than the fucking cigarettes. Wait, I could feel more than her direction. She was upset. She was fucking pissed and hurt. In fact, all that anger I'd been feeling while I was talking with Jake had belonged to Jenna, not me. I turned to John.

"What did you do?"

He looked guilty, so he had to have done something.

John held his hands up in surrender. "We were talking and I said she was as stubborn as her mother. She cussed me out and took off out the back door."

I frowned. Okay. I was missing some vital piece of Jenna's life story here if that statement set her off.

I shook my head. It didn't matter why the statement angered her. What mattered was that she needed me. "I'll take care of it."

It didn't take me long to find her. Once I concentrated on her, the pulling sensation in my chest led me straight to her. That and the sound of Korn blaring from the radio in the game room was a little hard to miss. She was leaning over the pool table, giving me a clear view straight down her shirt when I walked into the room. I leaned against the doorway, enjoying the view. She didn't acknowledge me until after she'd taken the shot, winning the imaginary game she'd been having.

When she straightened she shot me an angry look. "He needs a punching bag out here."

I straightened and framed my stomach with my hands. "Hit me."

Her mouth fell open. "What?"

I nodded. "Come on. I can take it. Give me your best shot."

The anger that had been washing over me from the imprint bond suddenly snapped and then she was giggling. She backed up, falling into the couch as her laughter faded. Walking over to the fridge I retrieved two sodas before taking a seat next to her.

"John didn't mean anything by it." I said quietly.

Jenna sighed. "I know. Just caught me off guard, I guess."

"Does he know why it hurt you so much?" I shouldn't have asked that question. If he did know and he'd said something to hurt her anyway, then I was going to have a damn hard time not killing the mother fucker.

She paused, choosing her words carefully. "Well, he knows some of the past. Just not all of it. My history with my mother is complicated. Have you told him everything about your shitty home life? Or have you just let the bruises speak for themselves?"

Well she had me there. "I haven't told him either."

I watched her from the corner of my eye. She was sinking into dark memories fast. I could feel the pain overwhelming me as it flooded our bond. Shit, if what I was feeling was a watered down version of what she felt, then it was a wonder she hadn't offed herself yet. This girl was strong, to stand against that kind of pain without buckling. Pride filled me. That's right, my girl was strong. She'd been through shit but she was still standing.

I clinked my soda can against her own. "To fond memories."

She gave me a sardonic smile. "To fond memories."

I watched as she took a drink, thinking over my 'discussion' with Jake in the woods. Well, here goes nothing. "You had it worse than me, didn't you?"

She shrugged, her body tensing up. "Don't know about that. You didn't look like you had it exactly easy."

I looked away. "Sure, I got beat. But I gave as good as I got. Fuck, I've been beating the shit out of him lately. I have the feeling your partying was just a way to deal with all the fucked up shit you had to deal with at home. A way of escaping. No, you had it worse."

She sighed, running her fingers lightly over the condensation on the outside of her can. When she spoke it was so quiet, even with my wolf hearing I almost didn't catch it. "Yeah."

I had to fight the urge to clinch my hand at her admission. She probably wouldn't be too impressed with a fountain of soda covering us both.

"Why didn't you come live with John sooner?" I was fucking proud of how calm my voice came out. I didn't even growl.

"I didn't know I had an uncle."

"That fucking sucks."

She lifted her shoulders in a shrug. Like it didn't matter that she'd been trapped in that life all that time while John had been here, willing to help if only he'd known she needed it. "I wasn't stuck there all the time. I was in foster care for awhile. Till my mother completed her classes." Jenna snorted. "Those did a lot of good."

I couldn't help but chuckle. "Yeah, I know just how great foster care can be."

She glanced at me, surprised. "Did you have any good families?"

"The last one was good. I was with them for a few months before they made me go back to my father. You?"

She was quiet for a moment. I thought she might not answer, but then she finally spoke. "Mrs. Watkins. She was a saint. I was with her for a year, but then she had a heart attack. Her health wasn't good enough after that to keep the foster kids."

Jenna wiped a tear away. I wanted to put my arm around her, but didn't think she was ready for that yet.

"She was the first home I'd ever really had, you know? I don't know where I'd be if I had never met her. I would probably be back in juvie. She's the one who taught me to respect myself and others. Although, I did forget that lesson for awhile there."

I was in shock. My perfect Jenna had been locked up in juvenile detention? "You were in juvie?"

Jenna nodded absently, her thoughts obviously on other things. "I stole a car the first time I ran away."

I couldn't help but laugh. I couldn't imagine my Jenna stealing a car. "How old were you?"

"Eight."

I laughed again. I could see her now. A cute little eight year old girl, barely seeing over the wheel, tip toes barely reaching the pedals with her butt scooted to the very edge of the seat. "Did you make it very far?"

She glanced up at me and grinned. "I made it one block before I crashed into a parked car and knocked myself out. I couldn't even run before the cops got there."

She rolled her eyes at herself and swallowed another mouthful of soda.

Suddenly my mirth was wiped away as I realized something. The shit at home had to be fucking bad to make her steal a car at eight. And she'd said that was the first time she ran away, implying that she'd tried it again. _She's okay now though. Focus on now. Don't think about the past. You'll get angry and phase, Jackass._

I forced myself to grin at her. "Today has been full of revelations. I never would have guessed that you had such a wild past. Not with the whole bookworm act."

Jenna knocked her shoulder against mine, making my heart jump around like a giddy schoolgirl. "I bet you've got your own record."

"What makes you say that?" I asked with a smile, not exactly denying her charge.

"Because you look like an ex-con." She explained with a laugh.

I chuckled. "Fine. Yes. I have a record. Mostly fighting. A little under-aged drinking. Nothing as hardened as grand theft auto."

Jenna laughed out loud. Huh. Jake had been right. When I relaxed and just talked to Jenna this was really easy. I patted her knee and stood up, turning to offer her a hand up. She didn't flinch this time either.

"Come on. I think you've punished John enough for one night. It's time for you to let him know you don't hate him."

Jenna placed her hand in mine, letting me pull her to her feet. Electricity shot up my arm and through my body. Jenna frowned and dropped my hand. Shit, did she feel it to?

"Is he very upset?"

I guess she didn't feel it.

"He's beating himself up in there."

Jenna shook her head. "Poor man had no idea what he was getting himself into when he said he would take in a teenage girl."

John was still watching TV and Anderson was still fast asleep when we walked into the house. Jenna walked over to her uncle, leaned over his recliner and gave him a big hug. Envy tore through me, fast and vicious. I wanted her to wrap those arms around me, not him.

"I'm sorry." John whispered.

"I know you didn't mean anything by it." Jenna muttered into his shoulder.

He squeezed her back, and my arms ached to be doing the same.

"Good." He replied.

Jenna released the man, then settled on the couch. I quickly sat down just a little closer than I normally would have. She didn't seem to notice though, or if she did I didn't see any indication that it bothered her. John sent me a look, but he could go fuck himself. I was going to sit right here and watch a few hours of shitty TV with my girl.

**

* * *

AN: Ah, the joys of motherhood. Spent all day yesterday cleaning up puke. Since the school won't allow Little Man to go to school if he's been sick in the past 24 hours, we're stuck home today. Good news is he feels great now and I had the morning to write a new chapter. Bad news is now _I_ feel like puking. So that's why this one is a little short. **


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

**Disclaimer: The Twilight checks sure aren't being sent to my house.**

**Jenna POV**

* * *

"What's the plan for Thanksgiving?"

I suddenly found myself the focus of four pair of eyes. Billy cleared his throat. "Sweetheart, you do realize you're living on an Indian reservation. Right?"

I rolled my eyes. "You mean the entire population of La Push isn't just obsessed with tanning? Yes, I know we're on a reservation. What does that have to do with anything? It's Thanksgiving for crying out loud!"

Jake snorted. Paul smirked and sat back in his chair, crossing his arms. John and Billy shared a look before John tried to reason with me. "Jenna. We don't really celebrate Thanksgiving around here. That would be a little strange don't you think? Joining in on a Holiday with the people who rounded up the Indian people nation-wide, slaughtered them and forced the survivors onto reservations? Doesn't really put us in the thankful frame of mind."

I frowned down at my plate. Even when Alan was forcing his 'lessons' on me, even when Amy was trying to get her life in order and I was in foster care the first time, even when I was back with Amy and we were both high or drunk most of the time, I had never once missed a Thanksgiving meal. Anderson was supposed to grow up without the turkey and stuffing, the rolls straight from the oven, the green bean casserole and the cranberry sauce, the mashed potatoes and gravy? No. That was not acceptable. I didn't care if he and I were the only ones sitting at that table. We were having Thanksgiving. I may be eating turkey sandwiches for every meal for a month, but I was not losing this tradition.

"I'm making a Thanksgiving meal. You guys can do whatever you want that day." I looked up, making sure to meet each of their gazes.

Billy sighed and nodded. John shrugged, not appearing to care either way. When I met Paul's eyes he smiled at me with a proud expression.

Jake was nearly bouncing in his seat. "Are you gonna make candied yams? And mashed potatoes? And rolls?"

I smiled. "Yes."

"Hot damn! Can the guys come? They never get a Thanksgiving meal and it looks so fucking good on TV."

Billy cleared his throat again and sent his son a look. "Language."

My smile widened. Sure, it would be a lot of trouble to cook enough food for the guys. If all of them came I would have to cook enough food for at least twenty people, with the way they ate. But I would get to have my Thanksgiving meal and I would get to cook for enthusiastic recipients.

"As long as John doesn't have a problem with it, sure." I replied.

I sent John a pleading look. Our relationship had been a little strained over the past few weeks. I couldn't even remember exactly what we had been discussing before he made the comment about my mother. We hadn't really even been arguing. It was more like teasing with an edge. But that comment had held too much of a bite for me. I had tried to put it behind me after apologizing for my reaction. But things were still tense between us. And during the week when he would call to check on us I hadn't been able to come up with anything to say to him. So we'd sit there on the phone with dead silence between us. Coming over to Billy's for a cook-out had been the perfect solution. Only after introducing Billy and Jake to the mix had we been able to truly relax around each other again.

John sighed and threw his hands up. "Why not? We have to eat something. Might as well be turkey and all the fixin's. Let them all come."

* * *

I was sitting on the couch, burping Anderson when the front door opened and Emily bounded into the house. She stripped off a dripping rain coat, looking around until her eyes landed on me. Then she rushed over to the couch, sitting down so close to me she was almost in my lap.

"You have to let me come over for Thanksgiving and help cook! I've got the best recipe for pumpkin pie and you'll need the help. We can make a turkey _and_ a ham. I can get here first thing in the morning and I'll bring Kim. You'll be cooking all day even without the help and that's just no fun alone. It'll be so much more fun with someone to talk to and-"

I grabbed her arm. "Emily! Breathe! You can come. And Kim, too. I would appreciate the help."

Emily beamed at me. "Great! This will be so much fun. I've been wanting to do a Thanksgiving meal for years but I just didn't know how to bring it up. I mean, it's kind of frowned on here."

"I noticed."

"I'm thinking we'll need to get together for the shopping and go to Forks. I hate to take the business away from the Calls but it's just not worth the lectures we're bound to get if we start filling grocery carts here on the reservation with turkey and stuffing this close to Thanksgiving."

We were planning our Saturday shopping trip when Paul walked in from the kitchen, his bag thrown over his shoulder. "You ready to go?"

Emily gave me a questioning look, which I answered with a little shake of my head before turning to Paul. "What?"

He tilted his head toward the front door. "We're gonna be late for school if you don't get your ass off that couch."

Emily took Anderson from me. "He's right. You're almost late. And the storm is really bad this morning. You can't drive too fast. The rain is practically sideways it's blowing so hard right now."

Paul nodded as I pulled my coat on. "I'll drive us both. It's stupid for both of us to keep driving when we're both going the same place."

I was going to argue, but then a bolt of lightening drew my eyes to the window. The seemingly constant rain had become such a normal part of my background that I hadn't realized just how bad the storm was. The rain was torrential out there. I couldn't even see three feet off the porch. Maybe it would be a good idea to let Paul drive. He had become a much more responsible person over the last few weeks after all. He was turning in all of his homework now and studying for his tests. He had even managed to get the Spanish teacher to give him the class work he had missed and some extra credit to pull his grade up. We were working on his Spanish for half an hour to an hour every evening and he was learning very quickly. Paul was a natural with the foreign language. And I hadn't seen or heard of him being in a single fight since he had come back from his suspension. It was almost like he was a completely different person.

It was almost too good to be true. I had trouble believing that a person could truly change that drastically that quickly. But then I had to look at myself. If I couldn't believe that Paul could change, then I would have to believe that I myself hadn't really changed. If I could do it what was to say that he couldn't? _But you had some damn good inspiration._And what's to say he doesn't have inspiration? He could have inspiration too. _Just because he hasn't chosen to divulge his deepest secrets to you doesn't mean he doesn't have them. He has no reason to explain himself to you._

Paul was watching me, his expression tight. He was probably gearing up his arguments, preparing for me to fight. I nodded at him. "Okay."

His eyes widened with surprise. "Okay then. Well, come on. Door's unlocked. Make a run for it so you don't get soaked."

I gripped my bag in my hand tightly, took a deep breath, and darted out into the cold rain.

**

* * *

PPOV**

I gripped the wheel tighter and leaned forward, attempting to see just a little further. The fucking rain was blowing sideways so fucking hard it was damn near blowing _up._ The winter storms had never been my favorite. I had never liked cold rain blowing in at forty miles an hour, because I'm not a fucking masochist. Who would like that shit? But now that I had Jenna sitting on the passenger seat beside me, gripping the edge of her seat so tightly her knuckles were white, I hated this fucking rain. If I wasn't already half way to school I'd just say fuck it and go home. But I knew Jenna would probably try to drive herself anyway so I might as well keep going. There was no way in hell she was driving.

I had been shocked nearly speechless when she agreed to come with me without a fight. It would have been a fucking shame to destroy all of the progress I had made over the last few weeks, but I had been fully prepared to physically stop her if she tried to walk out that door and drive herself. This was dangerous enough for me and I had the suped up eyesight and reflexes of a pack member. My stomach was twisted into a ball and I felt like someone had set me on the low vibrate setting. My body was buzzing with the need to phase, to protect Jenna from the threat around her. What fucking good was being a wolf going to provide against wet roads and no visibility? Huh?

_Finally_ the school sign came into view. I pulled right up to the front door. "Here you go."

She glanced up in surprise. "Paul, you didn't have to do that."

Like hell. She wasn't going to walk across the fucking parking lot in this. I shrugged. "Go on. Make a run for it."

She smiled at me. "I feel kinda guilty getting dropped off at the door, knowing you're going to get soaked walking from the parking lot to the school."

Damn that smile was worth dying for. And I didn't care how much the guys tormented me for it later, but it felt fucking amazing, how warm her words made my heart. I smiled at her. "You can make it up to me later. Make that pizza you made a couple weeks ago for dinner tonight and we'll call it even."

She chuckled. "It's a deal."

Then she slipped out and ran for the building. I watched her go, cringing as I watched the rain plastering her coat to her body. She had to be soaked by the time she got into the building. I pulled my truck into the student parking and started rummaging around. I always had clothes in my truck, because I never knew when I would phase and ruin what I'd had on originally. Although, since I had made the decision to control my temper for Jenna's sake, that hadn't really been a problem.

There were a couple pairs of a cut-off shorts on the ground, but those wouldn't really work for Jenna. Even if she could get them to stay up on her, she'd freeze. I did throw a pair into my bag for me though. I shoved a couple T-shirts in too. I snaked my arm behind the seat, hoping I had something that would work shoved back there, but all I came up with was some fast-food wrappers. Unless there was something under the bench seat, Jenna would have to make do with a dry shirt. It was better than nothing at least.

I smiled as my hand encountered something soft under the passenger side and a memory surfaced. Leah had been riding with me a lot when she first started phasing. At first she had carried around sweats and shorts like the guys, keeping spares stashed all over the place, in the woods, in the guys' houses, in their cars, until she switched to sun dresses and then finally gained some control. But she had left those sweats and shorts stashed everywhere because she was either too lazy to go back and get them, or she'd forgotten they were there. That or she was leaving them there intentionally. But I doubted that. Either way, this was perfect for me. Leah's sweats were far more likely to fit Jenna than mine.

I crammed the pants into my bag and closed it. Then I hopped out of the truck and set off at a run for the school. If not for the need to keep our abilities secretive I could have made it out of the rain much faster than I did. But because we had to appear perfectly normal, I had to make sure I didn't run any faster than a regular person. I may have pushed the limits a bit. If any of the coaches were watching I was going to have a few offers to join the sports teams. But I needed to get Jenna into some dry clothes before she got sick.

I followed her scent to her locker, where she was shivering in her damp clothes. I shoved one of my T-shirts and Leah's pants toward her. "Here. You can change into these and warm up."

Jenna eyed the clothes warily. "Where did you get them?"

"My truck. The shirt is mine. My friend Leah left the pants in there awhile back."

Her eyebrow shot up.

"Won't she want them back?"

I shook my head. "Me and the others keep telling her to get her shit out of our cars and houses but she just leaves it there."

She wasn't taking the pants, and now she was staring at them with an odd expression. What was she thinking? This girl would wipe the floor with me in a poker game. I couldn't read a damn thing from her eyes. All I knew was I didn't like the vibe I was getting from her.

"It's just a spare set of pants she had with her when I gave her a ride one day. She left them in my truck and forgot about them. Now she won't take them back. Just wear them. You're going to get sick in those wet clothes."

Jenna frowned but finally reached forward, taking the pants from me. "Fine. I'll change my pants. But you're wet too. You should at least have a dry shirt."

The girl was concerned about me! Would it be inappropriate to do a victory dance at this point? Instead I forced the shirt into her hand. "I've got some clothes for me."

"Come on." Jenna grabbed my hand suddenly, sending a shot of electricity through my body. "If we hurry we'll have time to change and get our wet clothes in the dryer in Home Ec before class starts. Then we'll only have to wear these other clothes for the first period."

I let her drag me through the school toward the bathrooms closest to the Home Economics room, a stupid grin plastered to my face. She still had my hand firmly gripped in her own. I had never felt anything more wonderful in my life.

* * *

Brady ran up to the lunch table, skidding to a stop a little too late, sliding into a chair in the process. The chair tipped over, crashing to the ground, causing half the room to turn in our direction. _The Great Protector of La Push everyone._

He turned the chair over quickly, his eager eyes on Jenna the entire time. If he didn't stop looking at her like that I was going to have to have a little talk with him next time we were on patrol together. "Tell me it's true, Jenna!"

She glanced at me with a confused look. "What is he talking about?"

I shrugged. "No idea."

"That you're cooking on Thanksgiving! Is it true? Will I actually get to eat Turkey? And rolls?"

Collin plopped into the seat next to his brother. "And green bean casserole? And yams?"

"She's making mashed potatoes and gravy, too." Jake confirmed as he took his usual seat on the other side of Jenna.

Every face at the table lit up. I couldn't help but smile too. Not only did I get to eat some fucking amazing food, but my imprint was going to be the one making it. My imprint was the one brave enough to tell the whole reservation to fuck off, she was cooking whatever the hell she wanted. Fuck tradition. Or not, depending on the point of view. She'd grown up celebrating Thanksgiving and she wasn't about to stop now just because the residents of the tiny-ass reservation she moved to might get their feelings hurt. That was my girl. She wasn't afraid to stand up for what she believed in.

"I'm helping too," Kim stated from Jared's side.

The guys made faces, careful to keep their backs to Jared. Kim was a horrible cook. She had her heart in the right place, but we always tried to identify the dish she brought to any potluck before the food was served, just so we wouldn't accidentally end up with a big serving. Thankfully Emily was helping Jenna. She could handle telling Jenna about Kim's ability to ruin boiling water. Seriously, she could fuck even that up. I don't even know how, but she's managed. Something to do with putting way too much salt in to speed up the boiling process and making the pasta inedible. Anyway, I was keeping my ass out of it.

"So are you all going to be there?"

Embry frowned at Jake before answering. "I have to work, but I'll show up after. Do you think you can save me some?"

"Sure."

Embry smiled at her. "Thanks."

Embry and Leah would be on patrol. They'd drawn the short straws. Jake and I had been left out of the drawing, since this was a family meal that Jenna was putting together special he thought we should be there. But the others had to draw straws to see who would be patrolling and who could show up for the meal.

"That sucks that you have to work on Thanksgiving."

Embry shrugged, looking down at his plate uncomfortably. "Yeah, well, that's life."

This was becoming an area of contention in the pack. They didn't understand why I didn't just tell her already. The guys loved Jenna like a sister and they were all sick of hiding something this big from her. They were ready to be themselves, their whole selves, around her. But she wasn't ready. If I told her the truth now, she would run screaming. Jenna didn't trust me. She might trust Jake and even some of the younger guys. But she certainly didn't trust me enough to accept that she was my soul mate. And I wasn't sure how I could separate the two. I was afraid that once I started spilling the beans about being a wolf, the whole imprint secret would come flying out too. And then I would lose her.

I just couldn't risk it. I would have to hide the truth from her awhile longer. Just until I knew it was safe. Just until she trusted me.

**

* * *

AN: Hope all my fellow Americans are having a good Thanksgiving. So...any special requests for what should happen in the Thanksgiving chapter? I'm going to have to wing it on that chapter since that part of the original story is significantly different. I'm talking waaaaay too different to include at this point in the story. Can't promise I'll use the suggestion, but if it makes sense for the characters and the story so far (and where I know I'm going with this) then I'll use it. And of course I'll give credit where credit is due.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

**AN: The 'belly aches' are the genius idea of RealLifeWolfGirl, brought to you by one of her fabulous reviews. Seriously, you should go to the review page just to read this girl's reviews. They're practically chapters all their own. Every time I'm having trouble writing the next chapter I go back and read her last review…that's how good they are. And while I'm there I read all the other reviews to get a little shot of happy. :^)**

* * *

**Jenna POV**

_I cringed as he ran a hand along my cheek. "You can't tell anyone about this, Baby Doll. They wouldn't understand."_

I woke with a start, the words echoing in my ears as I reached for the alarm. Why was my alarm going off at five in the morning? I didn't have to get up for another hour to get ready for school. I started to reset the alarm when suddenly I remembered. Thanksgiving! I had to get ready! I had a ton of food to fix and only seven hours to get it all ready. The guys would expect to eat at noon and I had to cook enough food for an army by then.

I dressed quickly, pulling my hair into a pony-tail. After checking on Anderson to make sure he didn't need any attention at the moment, I made my way to the kitchen. It was going to be a long morning.

* * *

"Here you go, Kim. Why don't you chop up this celery?" Emily quickly chopped a couple pieces. "I need them about this big."

I watched as she held the knife out toward Kim, handle first. Kim took the knife and began chopping the celery. My eyebrows shot up. The resulting chunks were either too big or tiny, nowhere near uniform. I glanced back at Emily. The other woman sent Kim a fond grin before moving back to my side.

"The oil should be heated up by now," Emily commented.

I glanced out of the doorway toward the living room. "I wonder if one of the boys would be willing to sit out there and watch the fryer?"

"Quil!" Emily called.

The boy was standing in the kitchen in seconds, like he'd been standing on the other side of the doorway just waiting to be invited in. "Yeah?"

"We need someone to watch the turkey we're going to fry. Can you do that? Just make sure we don't burn the reservation down? We'll be watching the time."

Quil saluted Emily and headed outside. Crazy boy. The turkey wasn't even out there yet. I grabbed the bird and followed him. "There's a lawn chair on the deck if you want to drag it down here. And there's a fire extinguisher right there. Hopefully you won't need that."

I started to approach the deep fryer with the turkey when Quil grabbed my arm. "Uh, what the hell do you think you're doing?"

I laughed. "Well it won't cook from here. I do have to actually put it in the hot oil."

"Oh no you don't. You aren't getting anywhere near the hot oil. Give it here."

What the hell? Were they all overprotective? Was this a giant freak trait? "I know what I'm doing. I'll be careful."

Quil snorted. "You think I want to stake my life on that? I don't think so. Just hand it over. I'm in charge of the frying. So hand over the bird and get your ass back to the kitchen, Lil' Mamma."

I rolled my eyes. Jake's nickname had somehow spread to all of his friends and now they wouldn't stop calling me by that annoying name. But I handed the turkey, and the frying basket it was in, over to Quil anyway. He seemed so worried after all. Jake's influence probably. I had no doubt the boy had warned all of his friends not to let any harm come to me. He was incredibly protective of his new cousin. Quil took the basket and turned toward the fryer.

"Uh…what now?"

"Now you slowly lower it in. I'll come back out when it should be done and we'll check the temperature with a probe."

Quil's lips twitched at my words. I rushed to interrupt him before he could make a rude remark. "Do you need a drink?"

"I'm good." He said, leaning back in the chair he had pulled from the deck.

I headed back to the kitchen. We still had stuffing to cook, rolls to bake, two pies to put in the oven, and mashed potatoes to make. Not to mention the corn, green beans, and salad. Emily and I had completed all the intensive prep work earlier in the morning. We were both covered in flour from making the pie crust for the pumpkin and cherry pies and the dough for the rolls. Going with the theory that the boys would eat at least four servings each, we were making two turkeys and a huge ham. In fact, we were going to make at least two of every dish we made. Emily had brought two pans of brownies, two pecan pies and two pans of peach cobbler she had made the night before. If I ever tried this again I would have to rent some kind of event hall, or John's oven was going to go on strike.

* * *

**PPOV**

"Man it smells so good in there." Seth mumbled from the floor.

John chuckled. "Why'd you show up so early? You're just torturing yourself."

Seth lay back. "Yeah, but it hurts so good."

Jake bounced Anderson up and down with a laugh. "You are one lucky little boy, you know that Anderson? Your Mama is one good cook."

The boy's mouth spread in a large toothless grin, drool streaming down his chin. It was disgusting and adorable all in one. The drool continued its trip down his chin until it dripped in a long string straight onto Jake's hand. The older boy's face screwed up with disgust, an apparently hilarious sight to the younger boy. Anderson let out a squeal of delight.

"Oh, you think that's funny?" Jake grumbled, using a burp rag to wipe his hand first and then the boy's face.

The boy bounced wildly with glee. Then suddenly he stopped. His face turned red. Jake's hands shot out, holding the boy away from his body. "Uh-oh. Time to find your Mama."

Billy chuckled. "What, you don't think you can handle it yourself, Son?"

Jake mock-glared at his dad. "I don't see you volunteering either."

Billy raised his hands. "I did my time."

The smell hit us all as Jake started to stand. Damn. Seth popped to his feet, heading for the door. "I'm gonna go keep Quil company."

Sam stood as well. "I'll go see if the girls need anything."

Billy screwed up his nose. His senses were awfully sharp for someone who had never phased. It had to be due to his lineage. Even John looked a little uncomfortable.

Billy started wheeling himself toward the door. "I'm gonna go supervise the two idiots by the fryer. They're liable to burn the whole place down."

Before long John and I were the only ones left in the room. He chuckled softly to himself. "They'll tear a vampire apart but one dirty diaper and they run for the hills."

I grinned with him, but to tell the truth, if I'd had anywhere to go, I probably would have gone too. That kid could clear a room fast with his diapers. Especially now that she was feeding him baby food. I would volunteer for patrol the days she fed him broccoli.

Sam walked back into the room, keys in hand. "Gotta get some ice."

John hopped out of his seat. "I'll go with you. That kid's diapers are lethal."

I stared at him in shock. That fucker. "Thought a real man could take it."

John laughed as he headed for the door. "Just cause I _could_ stand it doesn't mean I _have_ to."

Well damn. Now I was stuck in here by myself. I could still run. Jenna was in her bathroom, washing her hands. I had a few seconds to make an escape. But then she wouldn't have anyone to watch Anderson while she cooked. It didn't seem very fair that she would have to watch her son while she was making a meal for all of us. I wasn't sure exactly how to watch the kid, but if Jake could do it, I could do it. Right? It didn't look that hard. Hell, I'd been here for a couple months, watching Jenna with the boy. All I had to do was hold the boy. Feed him a bottle if he was hungry. He would stay dry for awhile now.

"Where did everyone go?"

"Seth and Billy went to keep Quil company. Jared, Collin and Brady are in the game room. Emily sent Sam and John for ice. Not sure what happened to Jake."

Jenna glanced toward the kitchen with a frown. "Oh."

She hesitated, clearly unsure what to do next. I held my hands up. "I'll take him. Kitchen's not really the best place for him."

A burst of surprise shot across the imprint bond. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah. We'll hang while you finish up."

She handed him to me. I took him with a bit more confidence. I'd held him a few more times since that day we went shopping. I was getting better at it. Plus he was growing like one of the fucking pack members, so it wasn't so frightening. I didn't feel like I was going to snap his little arms and legs on accident. Or drop him if he moved wrong.

"He'll want a bottle soon. Emily can probably handle things in the kitchen long enough for me to feed him."

I shook my head. "Go ahead and get it ready and I'll feed him."

"Are you sure?" She asked again.

"I'm sure. Just get it ready."

She sent me a grateful smile, filling my chest with a warm buzzing sensation. That shit was addictive. "Thanks so much, Paul."

Anderson stared at up me solemnly while Jenna disappeared into the kitchen to get the bottle. His big frown eyes studied my face while I studied him. I could see a lot of Jenna in him. The eyes for instance and his smile. Suddenly his eyes lit up. I grinned. Had I done something right for a change?

"Here you go." A bottle suddenly appeared between Anderson and me.

No wonder his eyes lit up, he'd seen food. No doubt about it, this kid was a kindred spirit. As soon as the bottle was close enough the little guy grabbed it, guiding it into his mouth. I grinned as he started sucking the formula greedily. This little guy really was like a mini shifter. He was huge for his age and ate like he was starving to death.

His eyes were drifting closed by the time he sucked the bottle dry. I still had to tug fucking hard to get the damn thing out of his mouth though. He didn't want to let go of it either. I had to chuckle as I set it aside. Even in his sleep the kid didn't want to let go. Here came the only part of this that scared me. I had to burp him. How hard was I supposed to hit his back? I could seriously hurt this kid if I pounded his back too hard. It sure looked and sounded like Jenna was beating him half to death when she burped him, but he didn't cry.

I draped the burp rag over my shoulder. Now came the tricky part. I slid my hands under his body, one under his head and one under his back and butt. Slowly I moved him, repositioning him onto my shoulder. Huh, that went better than I thought it would. I gave a test pat on his back. It wasn't anywhere near hard enough. I couldn't even hear it and Jenna's pats always made a distinct sound. So I gradually increased the strength until it got to the point I was afraid to pat him any harder. It still wasn't as loud as when Jenna did it, but there wasn't a chance in hell I was being any harder with this kid.

Eventually he burped, and I let out a sigh of relief. I could stop! I hadn't hurt him and I could stop before I did. But now he was asleep and I was afraid to move him for fear of waking him up. John still wasn't back and everyone else was still gone. He'd left the TV on a football game, for two teams that I couldn't care less about. I settled back into the couch, stretching my legs out. I'd run patrol the night before. The sounds drifting in from the kitchen formed a low buzz that was starting to pull on my eyelids. I slid a hand over Anderson's back to secure him and closed my eyes. I'd just rest for a few minutes.

* * *

**Jenna's POV**

"Well we need to move the couch," I said with a grin, looking down at Paul and Anderson.

Paul was stretched out on the couch, fast asleep, with my son sleeping on his chest. It was such a cute sight I had already taken several photos with my phone and saved the best as my wallpaper. But now we had a slight problem. The food was ready and we needed to set the table. The tables we were going to use were actually several card tables that we were going to set up in the living room, since the kitchen wasn't big enough to hold everyone. And the couch was in the way.

Jake and Quil stepped up with ornery grins. "We can handle this."

They each grabbed a side of the couch. Before I could protest, they had shifted it all the way over against the far wall. My heart pounded in my chest. Shit! They could have dropped the couch. Paul and Anderson could have rolled off even if they hadn't dropped the couch. My son could have been hurt. I walked up to Jake and smacked his arm as hard as I could.

"What the hell! Don't ever do that again!"

Paul sat up quickly, both hands sheltered Anderson. He looked around. "What's going on? Where's Jenna?"

I rushed over and took my son quickly. "Nothing. Just these assholes scaring the shit out of me."

Paul stood quickly, glaring at everyone in the room. Seth quickly pointed at the other two. "It was all them, Man."

Paul turned his glare to the other two. "What the fuck did you do?"

"We had to move the couch," Quil explained.

"So we can set the food out. It's ready," Jake finished explaining.

Paul reached over and smacked them both. "So you decided to move the couch while I was still on it? With the baby? Are you out of your fucking minds? What if you had dropped the couch? What if I fell off and crushed him? He could have gotten hurt you morons!"

"Sorry," Jake and Quil muttered.

Paul narrowed his eyes. "I'm not the one who deserves the apology."

They turned to me. "Sorry, Jenna."

I hugged Anderson to me. "Just set up the tables."

With everyone helping it was only a few minutes before we were all sitting at the makeshift dining table. Looking down the table, I had to smile. Emily, Kim and I had done quite well. I think there was enough food to fill even these bottomless pits.

"I have died and gone to heaven." Brady's voice was filled with awe.

His brother nodded. "Pinch me, I'm dreaming."

* * *

I had long since finished eating. Now I was just holding Anderson, watching the boys try to finish their fourth, and in some cases fifth, helpings. Seth shoved his plate aside. It held a small chunk of ham and a spoon-full of gravy covered mashed potatoes. He groaned, leaning back.

"I'm stuffed. I didn't even know that was possible anymore."

"There's still desert, too." I reminded him.

Seth moaned, his hand on his stomach.

Jake grinned, glancing across the table at Quil. "Gotta eat that meat if you want dessert, Seth. How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?"

Quil's grin widened. Then all of a sudden he burst into song. "We don't need no education…We don't need no thought control…No dark sarcasm in the classroom…"

And then half of the guys were singing along. I sat back giggling as they sang through the entire song. Only when they had finished singing did they get up to investigate the desserts set out on a counter in the kitchen.

Paul turned to me before standing. "Can I bring something back for you?"

His offer surprised me. I thought quickly. "I guess I'll take a brownie."

"You need anything, Billy?"

"That peach cobbler looked delicious. And some pumpkin pie…and-"

Paul cut him off with a grin, "I'll get you a little of everything."

He hopped up and left the room. Only after he left the room did I think about how good a little piece of the cherry pie would taste. Maybe there would be a little left? Who was I kidding? I would have to make another one if I wanted any cherry pie after all of the guys were done eating. I had kept back a little of everything for Embry. I even kept back some for Seth's sister Leah, since she was apparently part of this little group of friends but also had to work. But I wasn't going to have very many leftovers. I might have enough to feed Paul and myself one meal.

"Here you go." Paul said, sliding a plate in front of me.

I glanced down and smiled, pleasantly surprised. The plate held a large brownie, but it also held a sliver of cherry pie. I turned to him. "How did you know I wanted some pie too?"

He shrugged. "Saw the way you were eyeing it earlier. Thought you might want it."

"Thank you, Paul. I really was craving some pie."

He smiled in return, a full smile that lit up his whole face. Usually Paul was frowning, or solemn at the least. Even then he was a good looking guy. But when he was smiling like this he was breathtaking. I forced my attention to my plate of dessert, before I could do something stupid like jump him again. Certainly wouldn't want a repeat of our first encounter, not here in front of everyone, especially not my son and uncle.

* * *

"Ooooohhhh, somebody kill me. Please. I'm begging you." Brady was rolling around on the floor, clutching his stomach.

Seth was beside him, also with his arms wrapped firmly around his middle. "No, me first."

Collin whined from the other side, not even bothering to form words.

I leaned back, shaking my head. After years of Thanksgivings, I knew when to stop to avoid the pain they were in. These boys had binged even more than they were used to. But they were acting like they had never had a stomach ache before.

Sam shoved himself out of his chair with a groan, clearly uncomfortable himself. "Collin, Brady, and Seth, you're in charge of clearing the table. Jared and Quil, you two are loading the dishwasher. Jake, you wash pots, pans and anything that doesn't fit into the dishwasher. I'll dry. Paul, take care of the deep fryer outside, breaking down the tables and putting the living room back to rights. Understood?"

Seth groaned again. "You expect us to move right now? Are you insane?"

Sam narrowed his eyes. "Get up. These ladies worked all morning to put this together for us. They aren't lifting a finger to clean it up. Move your asses. Now!"

Moaning and complaining the whole time, the three boys pulled themselves to their feet. I laughed as their faces scrunched up with pain. Amateurs. Next time maybe they would wear looser jeans and not go back for that fifth plate. I transferred myself to the couch, curling up in the corner so I was out of the way of the cleaning crew. They did work well together. They had obviously worked together before. All of them seemed to communicate with body language and glances more than words, just knowing what the other was doing or needed. Before long I had to stand so Paul could shove the couch back to the middle of the living room.

Then he was disappearing into the kitchen and Quil and Brady were heading out.

"Thanks for all the food, it was amazing," Brady gushed.

"Are you guys leaving already? We were going to watch movies."

Quil nodded, a regretful look on his face. "Gotta go. Got things to do. Food was great. See ya later!"

Just a few minutes later the door opened and Embry popped his head in. I smiled and waved him in. "Come on in!"

Leah, the bitchy girl from Emily's house, followed him slowly. I wasn't exactly thrilled to see her, but I held the welcoming smile firmly in place. "Hi, Leah."

"It smells great in here! Please tell me there is something left!"

I crooked my finger, motioning for them to follow me into the kitchen. The room was chaotic with activity. Collin and Seth were still shoving leftovers into tupperware, but they were muttering obscenities, digging through the lids trying to find the right sizes for the containers they had chosen. Jared was bent over the dishwasher, which looked like it was already loaded way past capacity. From the looks of things, I would be re-washing at least half of those. The floor by Jake's feet was covered with soapy water. Only Sam appeared to have everything under control. He had neat stacks of dried pots, pans and dishes, ready to be put away.

Ignoring the mess around me, I went straight to the oven, opening it to reveal several loaded plates. "Here you go. There's plenty in here if you want seconds, or thirds. And there are leftovers if you still aren't full."

"Don't go for fifths," Seth grumbled.

"You'll regret it." Collin affirmed, still sounding completely miserable.

I went back to the couch, claiming the remote from John as I did. "We've watched enough football for one day. I can't stand anymore."

"Fine." He stated with a grin. "Thank you for the meal. It really was good. I don't know where you learned to cook like that. Sure didn't get it from your mother. Did Alan teach you?"

I clenched my teeth. The only lessons Alan ever taught me had nothing to do with the kitchen. I shook my head quickly, focusing on the TV as I flipped through the channels. I controlled my breathing, resisting the urge to start hyperventilating. Those memories would not be allowed to ruin this day. I was not going to sit here and waste one more second thinking about that.

"You okay, Jenna?" Billy asked.

"Did I say something wrong?" John asked quietly.

I realized that Billy, John, Emily and Kim were all looking at me funny. Maybe I wasn't pushing the bad memories away quite as successfully as I thought. I sent him a tight smile. "I'm fine. Do you like old movies? I love old movies."

"Hey, this a good movie?" Paul asked, throwing himself on the couch between Kim and me. It was a tight squeeze, so he was plastered up along my side. I ignored the way my heart started to race.

I turned to see him watching me, studying my face with furrowed brows, like he was looking for something. He looked a little worried. I glanced at the title of the movie again. "Yeah. This is a good one. It's pretty funny. Lots of innuendo, double meanings, that kind of thing. I think you'll actually like it."

"Great."

As the movie progressed, the rest of the guys filtered in, apparently finished with cleaning now. They sprawled on the floor, against the couch, the coffee table, the wall, anywhere they could fit. As I watched the TV, I noticed something odd. Embry leaned over and whispered something to Collin. The boy grinned and leaned over to his brother, passing on the message. This continued until it had gone around to most of the people on the floor.

I didn't find out what the impromptu game of telephone was about until a couple hours later. The guys started disappearing one by one. I didn't think anything about it. They had been going back and forth to the kitchen to snack for an hour or so. Even Seth had forgotten that his stomach was about to explode, as he had complained earlier in the day. So I just assumed that they were going into the kitchen to eat. But then suddenly, they all gathered around Leah. Inexplicably, they all had their arms full of clothes.

Paul, who was still plastered up next to me, let out a giant laugh. Anderson startled in surprise, then he let out a squeal of laughter and lunged toward Paul. I watched in surprise as Paul took him easily. Apparently their little bonding session earlier had eased all of Paul's worries about holding the boy.

"Leah," Embry said, jerking my attention away from the boy next to me, "we are sick of you leaving your shit in our cars."

"And our houses," Jared stated. "My Mom had a fit. She thought I was cheating on Kim!"

"So you are going to take all of this home with you tonight."

And then they all released the clothes. I watched as jogging pants, cut-off shorts and sundresses rained down on her. My goodness. What on earth was she doing leaving that many cloths with that many different boys? Only one reason came to mind. I glanced toward Kim. The girl didn't look the least bit upset. Instead she was giggling. Emily was too. So, either Jared and Kim had a very open relationship, or Kim didn't think there was anything odd about Leah leaving a pair of pants over at Jared's house. How could she not think that was strange? That was fucking incriminating in my opinion. If I found a pair of another girl's pants in my boyfriend's house or truck, he wouldn't be my boyfriend for very long.

I felt a hot hand patting me on the knee. I glanced down to see Paul's hand just as it stopped the patting motion, coming to rest instead. He even gave it a little squeeze. "It's not what it looks like. Leah just needed some help for awhile, and in the process, some of her things got left in random places. Our places to be exact."

"Oh." I couldn't think of anything else to say. I couldn't think at all. All of my mental capacity was being used up cataloguing every delicious sensation that was flowing from the spot where his hand was resting.

I closed my eyes. Uh-oh. What the fuck was going on? Was I developing a crush? On Paul? Oh Fuck.

* * *

**AN: So the singing of Pink Floyd's Another Brick in the Wall? That happened at my mother's dining room table yesterday during her Thanksgiving meal. My brother made the whole 'how can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat' comment to my son, so my husband breaks into song. Of course, he got bored with the lyrics very quickly and started changing them to comical (and slightly raunchy) lyrics off the top of his head. Never a dull moment with that man.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

**Disclaimer: Not making a single penny off these ramblings**

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PPOV**

The leech bitch could not have picked shittier weather to pull this fucking stunt. This was the third time in a week that she had attempted to get past the patrol. It was always in a different spot and at a different time. But she was always headed toward Forks. Something, or someone, in that small town had gotten her attention. Since the Cullens had left town, we had extended our patrol area, branching out to surround Forks and even into the Olympic National Park. Having a larger patrol area was harder on the pack, but it kept the bloodsuckers farther from our people, keeping them safer. Plus it kept Jake from shitting a brick. He was fucking stalking that Swan chick and he wanted to make sure none of the nomad leeches took her out before he had a chance to convince her that he was the man for her.

But this red-headed bitch was getting on my last nerve. And the winter storms weren't helping. I didn't like having wet hair, and a body covered in wet fur was no improvement. I think she was just fucking with us when she decided to test her luck in the storm though. She had the biggest grin on her face when she flitted right past Seth. The kid did manage to snap fast enough to tear her shirt, earning an ugly snarl from the leech. At least he was able to wipe that fucking smirk from her face, something the rest of us hadn't managed. That kid was fast.

After a few hours of playing tag through the national park she still got away though. So we had to drag ourselves home in a raging storm, with disappointment pounding down on us so hard we didn't even notice the freezing rain. All I wanted to do when I got home was take a hot shower and crawl into bed. I was going to sleep for twelve hours straight.

I phased and pulled my clothes on before really looking at the house. When I did all hope for a hot shower was dashed. "Fuck. Shit. Of all the fucking…damn this fucking weather."

The power was out.

Fuck. Jenna and Anderson were in there without power. I ran toward the house. Did she know how to start a fire? How were they staying warm? Damn John for not having a generator wired to his house to automatically kick on when the power went out.

I walked through the house, having no trouble without the lights. My enhanced senses allowed me to find my way easily in the dark. I stepped into the living room. The room was lit with a soft, flickering light. Jenna had found the kerosene lantern and placed it on the hearth, illuminating the room a bit. She was huddling on the couch feeding Anderson, a quilt wrapped around both of them. But she was watching me now, her brow furrowed.

"What were you doing out in that storm?" She asked, her tone full of worry. Then she quickly shook her head and spoke again before I could respond. "Never mind. Just go change before you catch pneumonia."

Instead of obeying her order I moved to the fireplace and the cubby full of firewood. There was no way I was leaving this room until there was a fire going.

"Paul, come on! That can wait until you're dry. You're going to freeze to death."

"I'll be fine. You two need a fire. How long has the power been out?" I asked without turning away from the logs I was stacking.

"Only a couple hours."

I clenched my teeth. A couple hours. That bitch had played tag with us while Jenna and Anderson sat in the cold and dark for two fucking hours. The next time the red-haired leech showed up I was going to rip her apart.

"Are you and Anderson warm enough?" If I thought they weren't I was going to climb under that quilt with them.

"We're okay." She replied. It sounded like she was telling the truth so I relaxed a little.

I pulled my lighter out and lit the tinder, smirking as the fire caught immediately. I had so much practice lighting fires it was ridiculous. Leaning back on my heels, I watched it for a moment, making sure the logs were really going to catch. As soon as I was sure the fire was going, I hopped up and headed to my room to change. Fatigue pulled at me as I pulled dry clothes on.

The alarm about a bloodsucker getting close had sounded a little after dinner. We'd chased her for over three hours. Normally I would be asleep by now. Anderson must have woken Jenna up for a feeding because she tended to go to bed early too. And we had to get up and go to school in the morning.

I grabbed a couple pillows off my bed as I left my room, shoving them under one arm. Then I bundled up the comforter and headed for the living room. I'd keep the fire going all night so they could stay warm while they slept.

"That couch pulls out to a bed," I mumbled as I dropped a pillow on the cushion next to her.

She seemed to consider it for a moment before nodding. "Would you mind? He's not quite done with his bottle."

It was the weirdest sensation. Knowing that she wanted me to do something for her, that she had asked me to help her, I couldn't move fast enough to fulfill her wishes. She needed me dammit, and she was finally admitting it. My purpose in life was finally being validated. Nothing I had ever done had felt as satisfying as unfolding that couch, fitting the sheet onto the mattress and loading it up with blankets and quilts from the hall closet. _Look at me, I'm Martha fucking Stewart over here._ But it didn't matter because she was smiling at me now as she sat down on the bed I had prepared for her and began burping her son.

I settled on the recliner, pulling my comforter over myself.

A wave of anxiety rolled over me as Jenna's eyes considered my position. What was she thinking? What was she worrying about now?

"Um…are you…do you…are you going to be comfortable on that chair all night?"

I shrugged. "I'll be fine. I've slept in worse spots."

It was true. The forest floor was not comfortable. Even when I was a wolf it wasn't the best place to sleep.

She was still watching me, still worrying about me. "Are you sure? Do you want to sleep on the bed?"

I would fucking love to sleep on that bed with her. But her heart wasn't in the offer. That's what she had been so anxious about. I could feel it when she asked the question. The anxiety had been so overwhelming I had trouble resisting the urge to squirm. I wasn't sure how she was sitting so calmly when I knew she was so troubled on the inside.

"I'm good." I reassured her with a smile. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. I wanted more than anything to lay in bed with her, hold her against me as she drifted off to sleep. But that wasn't what she wanted right now. Not what she needed. Right now she needed reassurance. She wasn't comfortable with the idea, and I wasn't going to do anything to make her anxious. My wants didn't matter when they came up against Jenna's needs. Her needs and even her wants were always going to be a higher priority than mine. And that thought didn't bother me at all now. It used to drive me fucking crazy when Sam and Jared had thought like that.

"Are you warm enough?"

I chuckled. "I'm fine, Jenna."

She finished burping Anderson. Then she settled him in the middle of the bed before building a little wall on one side of him with the discarded couch cushions. I watched her, a small smile on my face. She was in her pajamas, and her body was shifting in some interesting ways with every movement that she made. Disappointment washed through me when she finally crawled under the covers.

The fire was crackling and fatigue was pulling on my eyelids when Jenna's voice jerked me back to awareness. "Does this happen often?"

"Huh?" I rubbed my eyes and looked over at her.

She was rolled over on one side, her arm thrown over her son. She was staring at him, but not really looking at him. She looked like she was lost in thought.

"The power going out like this. Does it happen often?"

I shrugged. "Power goes out with the bad winter storms. Sometimes it's back by morning. Sometimes it's a few days."

She frowned.

"Don't worry though. We have enough firewood to last through the winter."

"What about food though? We can't open the fridge until the power is back on." Her frown deepened. "And that's if the power even comes back on before all the food in there spoils. What are we going to eat for breakfast tomorrow? For lunch? For dinner? How are we going to shower?"

"We'll be fine. If it looks like the power will be out too long we'll take the food over to Sam's. He has a generator. It's small, just big enough to run a few things at a time. The fridge or the stove. The heater or the well. But enough to get by. Emily can cook it all before it goes bad. And we can eat at school. There are showers in the locker rooms. It's not the ideal situation, but it'll work. There's nothing for you to worry about." _I'll take care of you._

She lay there quietly, still worrying.

"Surely you've had power outages before. It'll be like camping. Didn't you ever go camping?"

Her body stiffened. Emotion flooded the bond between us. Pain and the memory of fear drowned out the anxiety. Jenna started speaking, her eyes staring off into space. "We had a lot of blackouts when I was a kid. But it always seemed to be when it was hot outside. I hated when the lights would go out. He always seemed to be hiding around every corner."

Her words broke off as she shivered. A growl fought to erupt from my chest but I managed to force it down. Who the hell was 'he' and what did he do to her? Why was she so afraid of him? My whole body was shaking. Jenna snapped to attention, cutting her eyes to me.

"Are you really okay? You're shivering now."

I forced myself to calm down. I couldn't phase right here, right now. That'd be a hell of a way to break the news to her. I smiled at her. "I'll add a log to the fire and I'll be fine."

What I really wanted to do was force her to explain the mystery man from her ramblings. And give me his address so I could hunt him down. Instead I pushed myself to my feet and threw another log on the fire, even though I wasn't cold and the fire was going pretty good already.

She watched my every move as I fed the fire and then leaned back in the recliner, pulling the comforter back over my body. I didn't even need the blanket. My wolf nature kept me comfortable enough, even without the heater working. The combined effect of the blanket and the fire was a little too cozy. But Jenna would become suspicious if I threw the comforter off now.

"We can roast hot dogs for dinner tomorrow. And make S'mores too. I love S'mores."

She made a little noise in her throat in response. I would have to try harder. I had to get her mind off of whatever memories were causing her so much pain. My chest was hurting so bad I felt like I was having a heart attack.

I sat up suddenly as the perfect idea came to me. "Hey, as soon as the power comes back on, what do you think about going out to get a Christmas tree? We've only got, what, three weeks before Christmas? This is Anderson's first Christmas. We have to get this place decorated. And I'll need your help picking out his present. I have no idea what to get him."

A smile lit her face. "I was going to talk to John about that this weekend. I didn't want to do something like that to his house without discussing it with him first."

I waved off her words. "He'll be fine with it. We'll get a tree and some decorations. Maybe some lights for the porch."

Her eyes lighting up. "That sounds good."

The pain in my chest was fading. Jenna looked like she was calming down too. She snuggled down into the bed, pulling the blankets tighter around her. I closed my eyes so that only a narrow slit was still open, so I could watch Jenna without her knowing. Now that she was calmed down, she drifted off quickly. I listened to her breathing as it slowed, along with her heart rate. Her body relaxed as her facial expression softened. When I was sure she was asleep, I allowed myself to open my eyes fully.

I spent another ten minutes studying her as she slept. But then I made myself close my eyes to sleep. I would have to wake up throughout the night, to keep the fire going. And we did still have to get up in the morning to go to school. I felt myself smiling as I drifted off to sleep. I felt like I'd made some progress with Jenna. She may not have done it intentionally, but she had revealed a bit more about her past, cryptic as it had been. She had even felt comfortable enough to talk to me about the things she was worried about. And then I had successfully taken her mind off those worries. I was the fucking man.

**

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AN: Yeah, I know it's been too long and this is too short to make up for that. I have come down with a fucking cold, and I am handling it less than gracefully. This is the best I could do with my current limited mental abilities. I felt bad for not posting anything in so long so I gathered as many stray brain cells as I could and typed this up. And let me tell you, it took awhile to find two brain cells that would even talk to each other. Maybe in another week I'll actually be able to write something worth reading.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

**Disclaimer: Twilight does not currently, has never, and will never belong to me.**

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Jenna POV**

_"You have to know these things for when you're older. Your husband will expect you to know them."_

_ I gritted my teeth, holding in the words I so wanted to say. If this was something that every man taught his daughters, then why was it so important that I didn't tell anyone? Why was it such a big secret? He'd taught me to tie my shoes too, but I didn't have to keep that a secret. _

_ Alan ran his hand over my cheek. "You're beautiful, you know that, Baby Doll? You look just like your mother, only prettier."_

_ I wanted to bite his hand. But this lesson would be longer and more painful if I did. I had learned that early on. The more I fought back, the worse it was. If I just lay back and tried to ignore it as best I could, everything would be over faster. _

An unfamiliar noise jerked me out of sleep. I looked around wildly, trying to place myself. I wasn't in my room. Why was I in the living room? Why was it so cold? Was that a fire? Paul was squatting by the fire, poker in hand, his face turned to me. The previous night came flooding back. Right, the power outage.

"Sorry for waking you. I was just adding some wood to the fire. You okay?" His eyes were filled with worry.

I waved him off. "I'm fine. What time is it?"

"Around five." He answered without checking. But maybe he had checked shortly before I had woken up.

And thank goodness he had woken me up. I hated that dream. It was one of the most detailed. For some reason my eight-year-old brain had really catalogued the details of that day precisely, and now my mind insisted on playing them back. I rubbed my face briskly and pulled my knees up to my chest. There was no way I was taking a chance on going back to sleep. That dream would just play on a loop for me.

"You've got another hour before you need to wake up. Got on back to sleep," Paul urged.

I shook my head quickly. No way in hell I was going to voluntarily subject myself to that eyelid theater. Now, if I'd been having a dream about, say…Paul, then I would have gladly tried to go back to sleep. As far as crushes went, so far he'd been prime eyelid theater material. The boy seemed to be allergic to shirts, and with a body like that, I was starting to wish he was allergic to pants as well. Our first meeting had been pretty hectic, but I'd still gotten a good eye-full of what he was concealing. The boy had nothing to be ashamed of. And he knew how to use what he had.

_What the hell is wrong with you! _I shifted my eyes off of him quickly, moving them over to the fire. _You can't eye-fuck him if you don't have any intention of following through. And you have absolutely no intention of going there again._ I dropped my head onto my knees, fighting the urge to sigh. _Yeah, but he's so nice to look at._ As nice as he was to look at, I wasn't going to touch. It was just a crush, and crushes come and go. Paul was turning out to be nicer than I had first thought. He was more than just a walking temper, a fight waiting to happen. But he was still off limits. Every boy was. I was a mother for fuck's sake. I had to be realistic. Anybody I became serious with had to be willing to step up and be a father to my son. And I wasn't interested in anything but a serious relationship. No teenage boy was going to jump into fatherhood, not for someone else's child. And no teenage boy should be asked to do that. It wouldn't be fair to him. He should be allowed to be a normal teenager. To have all the opportunities that every other boy his age had, to have a good time, to goof-off the first couple years of college then buckle down the last couple. To casually date until he found the one girl that he couldn't live without, and then start a family with her.

Paul interrupted my internal ramblings. "You sure you're okay? You seem to be thinking pretty hard over there."

I kept my eyes on the fire, afraid my eyes would assault him again if I gave them free rein. "M'okay. Haven't woken up all the way yet."

"Go back to sleep then." I could hear the smile in his voice. I felt my own lips curving up in answer.

"Anderson will be hungry soon." I threw the covers off, shivering as the cold air hit me. "Actually, I should get dressed now. Maybe get a bottle ready and set it close to the fire so it will at least warm up a little before he tries to eat it."

Paul hopped up. "I'll grab the bottle and a jar of food."

I rearranged the pillows to form a wall all the way around the sleeping baby before I went back to the bedroom to change. Damn, it was dark back there, as in no light whatsoever. And it was even colder. I rushed back to the living room, stubbing my toe on the hallway wall as I rounded the corner into the living room.

"Fuck!" I hopped my way into the living room.

Paul rushed out of the kitchen, a bottle in one hand and a jar of baby food in the other. "What? What's wrong?"

"Stubbed my fucking toe on the damn wall." I placed my foot down gingerly, testing it.

Paul peered down at it. "It's not broken is it? Do we need to go to the hospital?"

My head shot up. His voice had been filled with panic. I grinned. Paul looked like a big strong guy, but was he really a pansy on the inside? He could handle himself in a fight, but he sure didn't look like he could handle an emergency very well. He was starting to look a little pale. And was he hyperventilating?

Paul grabbed me around the waist, picking me up and moving me to the couch before I could react. "I'll grab the diaper bag. You just sit tight and I'll carry you to the car as soon as I have everything ready. Don't worry. I'll take care of you."

I laughed out loud. I couldn't help it. This was the biggest overreaction I had ever seen. "Paul, I'm fine."

He stopped, already halfway across the living room. Spinning around, he faced me. He looked a little unsure. So I wiggled my toes. I hissed a little at the movement, but I kept my smile in place. "I can move it, so it's not broken. I just jammed it. It's fine. I'm just too stupid to bring a fucking light with me when the power is out and it's the middle of the night."

Paul frowned and stepped over to me, examining my toe like he was a qualified physician. "Don't call yourself stupid. You just aren't used to the power being out. Are you sure you're okay? It looks like it might bruise."

I rolled my eyes. "It won't bruise. It's just sore. Now, I need to get dressed. Where's that lantern?"

Paul lit the lantern, grumbling the whole time. I think he would have escorted me to my room if I hadn't asked him to keep an eye on Anderson, make sure the boy didn't wake up and fall off the bed. Once he had discovered the joys of rolling over, I'd had to become hyper aware of everything on the floor. Anderson would roll across a room before I could blink, giggling the whole way. And he had started pushing himself up on his hands and knees too. He wasn't very steady yet. His knees kept sliding out from under him. But soon he'd be mobile. It was a scary thought. The kid was growing too fast. It wouldn't be very long and he'd be walking. And talking. My baby wasn't going to be a baby much longer. Soon he would be a toddler. And then a little boy.

"You okay in there?" Paul called from the hallway.

I wiped a tear and rolled my eyes. My fucking foot was fine! Lay off, Nurse Betty. "I'm good. Almost done changing."

I tied my shoes then grabbed my brush and a hair tie in one hand before grabbing the lantern in the other. Paul was back in the living room, watching the couch when I walked in. Anderson was still asleep, but starting to squirm, a sure sign that he would wake up soon. So I got to work on my hair quickly, my fingers working by feel since I didn't have any light.

"How the fuck do you girls do that?" Paul asked, his voice filled with awe.

I smiled, my teeth clamped on the hair-tie so I wouldn't lose it. I spoke around the elastic band. "Do what?"

"That braid thing. That is the coolest thing I've ever seen anyone do without looking."

Right. A French braid was the coolest thing he'd ever seen. Either he'd been exposed to some really lame shit or he was sucking up. "You do realize I can't cook you anything for breakfast, right? So there's no point in sucking up to me at this point. Try again after the power's back on though."

"No, really. That's awesome. You did that really fast, without even looking. And it's all straight and shit." His tone really was impressed.

I shrugged, pulling the elastic band out of my mouth and wrapping it around the end. "Lots of practice I guess. Trust me, no girl is going to be impressed with this. If the power is out all over La Push, you'll see a lot of braids and ponytails at school today."

* * *

"Smells like Emily's spaghetti." Embry commented as he took a seat across from me.

I nodded. "She knew I wouldn't be able to bring lunch today, so she made it for me to bring for everyone."

"Sweet." Collin said as he grabbed one of the individual containers.

I say individual containers, but for anyone else that container would hold enough to feed an entire family. I knew he'd finish it off though, just like the other boys would finish theirs. Emily must have a huge grocery bill, because she fed these guys almost every night. What on earth made their appetites so huge?

I opened my much smaller container and dug in. Half-way through I had to stop and grab my napkin as a sneezing fit took control of me. After several sneezes I wiped my nose and lowered the napkin, waiting to see if it was really safe to put it down. The sneezes seemed to have stopped though. I looked up to see Paul and Jake studying me.

"What?"

"You okay?" Paul asked quietly.

I shrugged. "Fine. It was just a few sneezes. Geez, Paul. Lighten up. You aren't going to threaten to take me to the hospital again are you?"

Brady dropped his fork. "I gotta hear this. What happened?"

"Nothing." Paul growled.

Seth grinned at me. "Tell us. Come on. What happened?"

Paul shook his head at me, a pleading look in his eye. I was really tempted to tell them. But that pleading look was getting to me. For some reason I just couldn't find it in me to go against him when he used that sad puppy dog look on me.

Quil grinned at Paul. "You know we'll find out one way or another."

Paul narrowed his eyes. Then he leaned back with a defeated look. "I thought she broke her toe, okay? Of course I wanted to take her to the hospital."

"Hey, you hear that?" Jared asked.

They all perked up, listening to something I couldn't hear. I looked around, watching their faces. Paul sat up again, grinning at me. "We still on for buying that Christmas tree?"

"What?"

"Power's back on. The generators were shut off. School electric's back on, which means the rez electric is back on. So, we going Christmas tree shopping after school lets out?"

"Uh, I…guess so."

Brady and Collin leaned forward at the same time.

"Can we go-" Brady asked.

"-pretty please-" Collin added.

"-with a cherry on top?" Brady finished it off.

I grinned over at Paul, raising my eyebrows. He frowned but nodded. "I guess Dumb and Dumber can go."

* * *

The truck was going to be a very tight fit with all four of us going. Paul said it was only a ten or fifteen minute drive to Forks, where the tree farm was, but still, that was going to be a long fifteen minutes if I couldn't breath.

"You know, I could sit on one of you guys' laps. It might be more comfortable that way."

Brady and Collin both blanched. They sent panicked looks Paul's way and started stammering. Paul opened up the driver's side door and motioned for me to climb in.

"You'll sit on the seat, Jenna. We can fit. If we have to one of the boys can ride in the back." Paul sent them a look. "Or maybe both of them."

"It's too cold for them to sit back there. Maybe we should take the car and just tie the tree to the roof."

He grabbed my waist and boosted me up into the truck. "We're taking the truck. And you're getting the middle seatbelt. Buckle up."

Paul turned to the brothers. "Get in. And make sure you're careful with your hands when you get in."

What the hell was that about? Paul climbed into the truck next to me, sending me a small smile as he buckled his own seatbelt, brushing his hand against my side as he did. Then Collin was sliding in next to me, squeezing me up against Paul. Brady climbed in and shut the door behind himself, further shoving me up against Paul. Holy shit. I could feel the boy's heartbeat we were so close. This was ridiculous. Why couldn't I just sit on one of their laps? Or drive my car separate? This was in no way comfortable.

Paul moved his arm up out the way so it wasn't digging into my side. Great, so now I didn't have an elbow in my tit. But he'd put the arm around my shoulders. I narrowed my eyes at him. He was grinning out the windshield. That little sneak. Did he choose to take the truck just so I would be sitting this close to him? But then, that would mean he was interested in me. Holy shit. I turned to stare out of the windshield. How did I feel about this? A part of me was jumping up and down and squealing, like an idiot fangirl. But the smarter side, the side with the stick up her ass, was reminding me that I didn't have the luxury of taking advantage of his interest. It didn't matter if Paul liked me and I had a crush on him; I couldn't have him anyway. I had serious Mom things to think about. Like providing a future for my son. I couldn't waste time jumping from boyfriend to boyfriend like every other teenage girl. I had to let this crush die off without ever acknowledging it. And I certainly couldn't encourage Paul's affections. It wouldn't be fair to him.

"So, what all are we getting?" Collin asked cheerfully, breaking my depressing train of thought.

"A Christmas tree and all the decorations. I don't think John has any." Paul answered.

Collin shook his head. "He hasn't had one as far back as I can remember."

"Nope." Brady replied. "He never has. He just goes over to Billy's to celebrate Christmas."

"You don't think he'll mind, do you?" I asked, worried about what my uncle would say when he saw what I had done to his house without his permission.

"Hey, it's our money," Paul responded. "And we're doing this for Anderson. He deserves a Christmas tree. Kid's got to have a real tree for his first Christmas. When he's older we aren't showing him pictures of him opening his first presents in an empty living room with no decorations. We're going all out. Tree, garlands, ribbons. All that shit."

I stared at him in shock. Call me crazy, but Paul had just made it sound like he expected to be in my son's future. In a very permanent way. Maybe I was doing the girl thing and over-analyzing his statement too much, but that sounded like something a father would say. I turned back to the road, chewing on my lip. Was he considering being a more permanent fixture in my life? If he was, then perhaps it wouldn't hurt to nourish my crush just a little? No, that was crazy talk. He was saying 'we' as a friend, not as a potential father figure. I was just reading what I wanted to hear into his statement.

Paul glanced down at me. "What's wrong?"

"Uh, nothing…just wondering how much that will all cost."

He sent me a frown. He didn't look like he believed me, but he didn't ask again. We rode the rest of the way in silence. Only now I really was wondering how much this would cost. After putting so much of my weekly allowance toward groceries, I didn't have a whole lot to spend on Christmas decorations, not if I wanted to buy the presents for everyone that I had in mind. For most of the guys I could get away with a bag full of Christmas cookies. But I had to get something for Jake, he was my cousin after all. It was a Christmas law that family received a real present. And Paul lived with me. He had to get a real present too. I had an idea for the perfect gift for him, but this little trip was going to make that impossible. There was no way I would have enough left over after buying a tree and decorations. And what about my uncles? I would have to get both of them something too. I had been picking up little things here and there for Anderson since he was born, so I had a few things for him already. But he needed more too. I was a single mom after all. It was up to me to provide these memories for my son. He wouldn't remember this Christmas but it was the principle of the thing.

Paul pulled into the parking lot, reaching across the steering wheel with his left hand to put the truck into park. "Get out of my truck, Losers."

Brady popped the door open, practically falling out. Collin slid across the seat and out of the truck quickly, shutting the door before I could even get my seatbelt off. Paul, on the other hand, moved his arm off of my shoulder slowly, like he was reluctant to lose contact with me.

"Looks like they have a good selection." He said, looking through the windshield toward the trees.

I eyed the lot as Paul slid out of the truck. There were a lot of trees, of every imaginable size. I could see my wallet shrinking. "We should probably keep the tree small. Don't want John having a heart-attack when he comes home."

Paul gave me a disapproving look before grabbing my hand, using it to pull me across the seat. "You'll get the tree you really want. Don't worry so much about what John will think. He'll understand. And if he doesn't, I'll handle him."

As soon as my feet were steady beneath me I relaxed my hand, expecting Paul to drop it. Instead he tightened his hold on me and started gently pulling me toward the trees, catching up to the brothers, who were now running between the trees. They were acting like two year olds on a sugar high. Both were jogging between the trees, yelling back and forth to each other about the benefits of each tree they passed.

"This one's perfectly symmetrical!"

"But this one is the perfect height!"

"This one has strong limbs, it'll hold up all the ornaments you could want."

"Look at the color on this one! Have you ever seen a tree this green?"

"Shit, look at this one. I think I saw it on that Christmas card Aunt Linda sent last week."

Brady slid over to his brother's side. "Damn, I think you're right. Jenna! Come over here."

I pulled out of Paul's grip, uncomfortable with how my stomach had turned into a fluttery mess as soon as his hand had wrapped around mine. I stepped up between the two boys to see the tree they were gawking at. It really was beautiful. It was full and green and the perfect height. But it was also twice as much as I had expected to pay. How was I going to buy decorations and get anyone a present if I got this tree? It would completely drain my account. But it was so pretty.

"This is a really pretty tree."

"It's perfect." Paul said quietly, his voice coming from right behind me.

"It's also way too expensive. Let's find one like this, just a little smaller. And about half the price," I commanded.

"Ah, Jenna," Collin whined.

"This is the perfect tree!" Brady defended.

"And we're getting it," Paul stated firmly.

I spun around, jerking back when I saw that his chest was an inch from my face. I looked up into his face, ready to do battle. "That tree is way too expensive, Paul. We aren't spending that much money on a tree that is already dying."

"Can I help you find anything?" The manager of the lot walked up with a smile.

Paul sent the man a tight smile. "No. We already found our tree."

The man eyed the tree and smiled wider. "That's a great tree."

I crossed my arms, sent a glare to Paul, and then turned to the man. "It is a great tree. It's just a little out of our price range. Do you have any like it, just a little smaller and…cheaper?"

I felt Paul ease a warm hand along my back. "Jenna, this is Anderson's first Christmas. He's going to have the best tree. We're getting this tree."

I sent the man another tight smile before turning back to Paul. I tried to keep my voice low. "Paul, he's not even going to remember this Christmas. We'll get a tree, but it doesn't have to be _this_ perfect. We'll get a smaller, _cheaper_, perfect tree."

"The ceilings are too tall to have some dinky little tree. It'll look like a Charlie Brown special. We're getting the damn tree."

"No, we're not. I want to be able to buy some presents for the other important people in my life too, like Jake and Uncle Billy, John, _you_. I can't do that if we get a tree this expensive." I stated calmly, aware that the salesman and the two brothers behind me were hanging on every word. This was fucking awkward. I felt like telling the boys to go play while Mommy and Daddy had an adult conversation.

Paul grinned down at me. "You're buying me a present, huh? Whatcha getting me?"

"Nothing if you insist on this tree!"

The manager stepped closer. "Heard you say this will be your little one's first Christmas. How old is he?"

"Six months," Paul and I both answered at the same time. I hadn't realized that he had been paying enough attention to even know how old the boy was. And what the hell? Why was he answering with that proud papa look on his face?

The man smiled. "My boy is fourteen months next week. This is his second Christmas, but he was so little last year he doesn't remember it at all. He loves the tree and all the ornaments. You'll have to put them pretty high, especially if he's crawling yet. It's amazing how fast they can get across the room once they start moving."

I chuckled, forgetting about Paul's confusing attitude toward my son, my attention successfully diverted. "He's almost there. Right now he just rolls everywhere he wants to go."

The man pulled out his wallet and started showing pictures. So of course, I had to whip out my phone and start showing mine. Paul jerked my phone out of my hands as soon as I pulled it out.

"Hey, when'd you take this one?"

He was looking at the wallpaper, a shot of him and Anderson asleep on the couch. "That's from Thanksgiving."

He smiled at the picture before passing it on to the manager of the lot. The man looked it over before passing it back to me. He looked around the lot, which had a few customers but none close to us at the moment. Turning back to us, he leaned in and spoke quietly. "Okay, because this is the kid's first Christmas, I'm going to cut a deal with you. I'm gonna give you the employee discount of twenty-five percent."

Paul considered the tree for a long moment. I was about to shake my head, knowing that I still wouldn't have enough to buy all the presents I needed when Paul held his hand out and shook on the deal. Dammit. He'd just bought us the fucking tree without even consulting me. I couldn't afford this tree! Then he pulled out his wallet and opened it up.

I went for my purse, intending to pay at least half, since this was for my child after all. Paul sent me a look though. "Don't even think about it. This is on me."

"Paul," I started out with a warning tone, but another look from him stopped me.

"Jenna." He replied, with a teasing note to his voice. He pulled out the cash, handing it to the manager.

He turned to Collin and Brady, who were barely managing to contain their energy. They were bouncing like little puppies, eager to play. "Load it up, Boys."

"Yes! This is going to be perfect!" Brady announced.

Collin nodded as he moved to help his brother. "Hey, can we come over and help decorate?"

I stepped out of their way. "We have to buy something to decorate it with first. But yes, you can help."

"Sweet! What's for dinner?"

I groaned. Of course I would be feeding them dinner. I shook my head as I watched the three of them load the tree and begin tying it down. Brady and Collin were trying to lasso each other while Paul was growing visibly irritated with their antics.

The manager chuckled. "Little brothers?"

I grinned. As far as I knew, Jake and I were the only ones with actual blood ties, but I had heard the group of boys referring to each other as brothers on more than one occasion. _Their friendship must be very close. They're brothers by choice if nothing else._ "Yes. But not for long if I don't go rescue the little knuckleheads before he blows his lid."

I heard a low growling noise as I approached the truck. It seemed to be coming from Paul. He must be really angry if he was resorting to growling like an animal. Collin and Brady were wrestling at the edge of the bed of the truck now. They were inches from rolling over the tree on one side or off the truck on the other. Paul erupted from his squatting position next to the tree just as I reached the tailgate. He was towering over all three of us now, his form starting to shake. The boys froze, their eyes rounded as they stared up at him, then back at me, then back at him. I reached over and placed a hand on his leg, the only thing I could reach from my position on the ground. I rubbed soothing circles on it as I turned back to the boys.

"If you two don't get your asses back to work and finish tying that tree down, then I'm not going to let you decorate it. And that means no chicken and dumplings for dinner for either of you. Paul will get to eat your share. Do you understand?"

They climbed to their feet, nodding quickly. I turned to Paul. He seemed to have calmed down some, but I wanted to make sure. "And if you lay a hand on either of them, then you won't get to eat any of it either."

"Hey!" He exclaimed.

I smiled sweetly at him. "I'm going to wait in the truck, but I'll be watching through the window."

I could hear the manager of the tree lot laughing as I climbed into the truck and shut the door.

**

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AN: So, I'm trying something new. I'm learning from my mistakes (yes, that's the new). I went to the doctor today to get my asthma treated BEFORE it sends my ass on an emergency run to the hospital. Go me! Fucking head cold.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

**Disclaimer: As I look around my (very cluttered) house, I realize that I own a lot of shit…the rights to Twilight don't seem to be among any of this crap…Dammit.**

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Jenna POV**

I pried my eyes open and immediately shut them again. Shit. I felt like a pile of shit. My head was pounding. My throat was sore. My nose itched. In fact…I scrambled for a tissue, barely covering my nose before I sneezed. Then I sneezed again. And again. Then I coughed. Then another five sneezes. Followed by a few more coughs and a round of more sneezing.

Shit. I had a cold.

I fell back against my pillow with a groan. I tried to stare at the ceiling, but it was too blurry so I stared at my eyelids instead. That was better. I would just stay in bed today. Yeah. Bed sounded like a great place to be. It was warm and comfortable. Who needed to move anyway? Not me.

Anderson let out a test cry. Shit. I had to take care of my kid. Dammit. If I took care of him, he'd get sick too. I looked over at my alarm clock. Emily wouldn't show up for another half hour at the earliest. There was no way Anderson would be content to stay in his crib that long. If he didn't realize anyone was awake he'd stay quiet for another ten minutes, tops. But even if I played dead, he would get hungry soon. Then the banshee impersonation would start. _That_ would do wonders for my head. Maybe if I just held my breath around him?

I took a deep breath to test how long I could hold it. This was a bad move. It set off another rousing chorus of cough-sneeze-sneeze-cough-sneeze. Anderson, being the smart little cookie that he is, realized there was another person in the room with him. Another alert person. He moved past the test cry and straight into the 'this is not a drill, I repeat, this is not a drill, this is an actual emergency' scream. I groaned as I threw the blankets off and attempted to sit up. The room started to spin around me. Holy shit, had the room always spun like this? I didn't remember the room spinning like this.

There was a knock on the bathroom door; then it cracked open. Paul peered through tentatively. "Jenna? Everything okay in there?"

"Paw? Z'ure room spinnin'? My room's spinnin'." I sniffled as I spoke then reached for another tissue to blow my nose as soon as I finished.

Paul walked into my room, watching me with worried eyes. "Are you feeling okay?"

I snorted. Another fabulous idea. The hacking and coughing lasted for awhile, and resulted in the pain in my throat increasing about a thousand-fold. Finally I finished, but I was too exhausted to sit up anymore. I fell back onto my pillow. "Feel great. Don' I look great?"

Paul sighed. He leaned down and pulled the covers back up around me. "You need to stay in bed, Jenna. You're sick."

I shoved at his hands. "An'erson's hungry."

He gently pushed me back. "I'll feed him. You stay in bed. You don't want him catching this, do you?"

"No," I stated sullenly. I perked up a bit. This should be good. "Needs a diaper, too."

"I'll get him changed and fed. You just rest." He hovered for a second longer. For a minute there I thought he was going to kiss me on the forehead, but then he straightened and went over to the crib.

I watched him as he carried my son to the changing table. As far as I knew, Paul had never changed a diaper in his life. He'd seen me do it once or twice, but he sure hadn't ever offered to take over. Not that I would have let him if he had. Now I could hear him muttering as he attempted to figure it out on his own. I smirked as he made his first rookie mistake. He took off the old one before he had the new one ready. Then he reached for the new diaper. He had it unfolded and was trying to figure out which side was the front and which was the back when Anderson nailed him right in the chest.

"Fuck! What the hell!" Paul blocked the stream with the new diaper, effectively keeping the urine from showering him any longer, but now he was causing a new problem.

"He needs a bath now," I called out, my voice scratchy and rough. I sounded like I had been smoking for fifty years.

"Huh?" Paul peered around the diaper to see that Anderson was now lying in a pool of urine. "Oh that's just nasty."

Anderson was still crying too. His little belly was empty. He hadn't had anything to eat since the night before after all. He had finally started sleeping through the night. Poor Paul. He was going to have to bathe an angry, starving child.

"Kitchen sink is fast and easy," I offered. "Do it while his food is heating up."

"Right. Um. Diaper on or off?"

"Use that one till you get him in the water. Take a new one with you." He grabbed the supplies and started heading toward the door, muttering about the shower he would need to take after getting my son all cleared away.

After all that commotion, I thought I would be wide awake. That I would get tired of laying in the bed and would get up in a few minutes to get dressed for school. Instead, as the quiet settled in, I found my eyes drifting closed as lethargy overtook me.

**

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PPOV**

I was so fucking stupid! How could I take her out in the cold to get a fucking tree when she was sick? It was just firewood waiting to be chopped for fuck's sake! What was wrong with me? I should have seen the signs. She had sneezed at lunch the day before. Her voice had sounded slightly off, a little on the rough side all afternoon. How could I have missed it? It was so obvious. And I had dragged her around in thirty-degree weather to look at dead trees with Tweedledee and Tweedledum. Then I took her from store to store, again in thirty-degree weather, to find the fucking ornaments to go on the tree. She'd been exhausted by the time we were done, but she had still made dinner for us when we got home. And we stayed up late to get the tree decorated perfectly.

"Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba." Anderson babbled.

"I'm going as fast as I can, kid." I muttered in reply.

He had already eaten his bowl of infant cereal with the mashed banana baby food mixed in. Inhaled would actually be the right word. The boy ate faster than a wolf. Now I was juggling him and the bottle. And he wasn't making it any easier. He kept lunging for the bottle. But I didn't have the lid on yet, so if he actually got ahold of the thing I was going to have a big mess and an angry kid on my hands. How the hell did Jenna do this every morning and still get ready in time? In the same time that I got my lazy ass up and ready, she managed to get herself looking beautiful, get her son fed and ready for the day, and get lunch packed for an entire wolf pack. She was fucking amazing.

Finally I had the lid on and checked the temperature. This had taken an afternoon of experimenting to figure out. I couldn't very well just check to make sure it didn't feel too hot to me. Just warm to me would probably put the kid in the hospital. I had to take the time to run a test with a thermometer to figure out what the temp should feel like against my skin for it to be safe for him. Then I had tested it a few more times to make sure that I really did recognize that safe zone, judging if I thought it was too hot or cold against my skin and checking with the thermometer. Only after I was confident that I knew how the formula should feel did I judge myself ready to help Jenna with his bottles. Not that Jenna had ever let me help before she'd gotten sick, no matter how often I offered. The girl was too independent.

I was just sitting down to feed him the bottle when Emily walked in the front door. "Thank fuck, you're here."

She eyed me with an amused grin. "Where's Jenna?"

I couldn't help but glance toward her room, worry rising up in me. "She's sick. She has a cold or something."

Emily smiled at me. "So you're taking care of Anderson so she could rest?"

I nodded, looking back toward her room. She was resting right? I didn't hear her coughing anymore. Her heart rate was good and steady. Hopefully she had fallen back asleep. I didn't want her trying to get up to go to school. Especially not if the room was spinning. I didn't want to add a concussion to her problems.

"Why don't you hand over the little man. I'll finish feeding him and you can get ready for school."

I frowned, turning to Emily. "I'll stay and take care of Jenna."

Emily shook her head, smiling gently. "You need to go to school, Paul."

The wolf rose up in me immediately. _No!_ My mate was sick, I needed to stay and take care of her. I needed to be by her side. I needed to do something for her, something to help her feel better.

Emily sniffed. "Why don't you go take a shower at least?"

"Fine." I did need to shower after all. And I could peek in on Jenna while I did, make sure she didn't need anything. In fact, I would take her a glass of water while I was headed that way.

I delivered the water, and was satisfied to see that she was resting peacefully. Her cheeks were red though, while the rest of her face was pale. She probably had a fever. Did she need a doctor? I would talk to Emily about it after my shower. I showered quickly, glad to have the urine off of me. The smell had been getting to me. That little boy was adorable, but I might never offer to change his diaper again. Unless Jenna needed me to of course. But I would definitely change my strategy. They needed pee guards for changing tables. Kind of like sneeze guards at a salad bar.

"Hey, Emily, do you think we need to make a doctor's appointment for Jenna? I think she might have a fever," I announced as I walked into the living room.

I stopped short as I came around the corner. Sam was waiting in the living room.

"Hey, Sam." I said, confused.

"Go to school," he ordered.

Dammit! That was a fucking Alpha order. Straight off the bat, no discussion, no chance to explain why I needed to stay and take care of my imprint. My fucking _imprint._ What did the bastard not understand about that? If it were Emily he'd be by her side, nursing her right along. But because it was my imprint, he orders me to go to school? This was fucking bullshit.

But I had no choice. I grabbed my bag and headed for the kitchen to grab something for lunch.

"This is bullshit, Sam." I stated from the kitchen. I didn't raise my voice, no matter how much I wanted to yell. Jenna needed her rest and yelling would definitely disrupt her sleep. Besides, it would upset Anderson. Sam could hear me just fine. "Jenna needs me. I miss school all the time for pack business. She's my imprint and she needs me. That makes it pack business."

"Paul, I know it seems unfair. If she were in the hospital with something serious I would let you stay out of school. But this is just a cold. Emily can make sure she has everything she needs and I'll stick around to make sure Emily isn't overwhelmed. Okay? Jenna will be fine. Now go."

I stormed out of the house, still upset. His words were starting to make sense though, to the human side of me at least. The wolf side was still railing against the order. He wanted to crawl into that bed, curl up against Jenna, pull her into my stomach and wrap an arm around her little waist. But then, he always wanted to do that so no big change there. This little cold was just bringing out the overprotective Son of Bitch in me I guess. I started up my truck with a few expletives. It was just a fucking cold. I'd had dozens before I started phasing. I remembered how miserable they made me feel, but I also remembered that they were just a part of life, that they weren't anything serious unless a person was old, really young, or asthmatic or something. Shit, she didn't have asthma did she? My heart started pounding as panic flooded me. I wracked my brains trying to remember if she had ever mentioned it before. No, she never had. Surely she would have. She'd have medicines and shit right?

The front door of the house opened and Sam came running out, his face pulled into a tight scowl. He ran up to the driver's side window and motioned for me to roll it down. My hands shook as I rolled down the old manual crank.

"What the fuck are you thinking about out here? Her heart rate shot up like she was running for her life!"

Shit! That whole emotions crossing the imprint bond thing went both ways.

Sam grabbed my arm. "Paul! Focus! What's wrong?"

"What if she has asthma? This cold could put her in the hospital! This shit could kill her!"

Sam rolled his eyes. "I'll have Emily make sure she doesn't have asthma, okay? And if she does we'll take her straight to the clinic."

Stubbornness welled up in me at his words. He must have seen it on my face because he spoke before I could even argue. "And we'll pick you up on the way. Now calm down before you give the girl a heart attack. And go to school!"

I rolled up the window as he walked away. As I drove to school I focused on calming down. If my strong emotions could cross over to Jenna then I needed to calm the fuck down in order to give her the rest she needed to get better. It was hard though. The asthma question was lurking in the back of my mind, always waiting to pounce on me. It kept sending me into a panic every time I forgot to focus on staying calm.

Finally I received a text from Emily halfway through the morning. Jenna had woken up and eaten a little homemade chicken noodle soup. My mouth watered at the thought. I loved Emily's homemade soups. Maybe Jenna could get the recipe from her. It would be even better if Jenna made it, I just knew it. I smiled as I read the last sentence of the text. 'No asthma.' I had been panicking for nothing. I felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I was still worried about Jenna, but now I didn't have to worry quite so much.

**

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Jenna POV**

I rolled over for possibly the millionth time, trying to find a comfortable spot in my bed. I'd been sleeping just fine earlier in the morning. But then mid-morning a nightmare woke me up and I hadn't been able to get back to sleep. I couldn't even remember which one it was this time. But I knew it had to have been a nightmare because I woke up with the familiar racing heart and sense of panic overwhelming me. It had eased as soon as I woke, but I still couldn't relax enough to go back to sleep. So I had turned on the little TV John had bought for me and tried to zone out a little. My foggy mind hadn't really followed the morning news. I kept losing time. One minute a perky blonde would be discussing the newest trick for removing ink stains from blouses and then all of a sudden they were talking about the latest stock market trends and I had lost half an hour. Even when I blanked out on the news though, I still wasn't really sleeping.

Emily had poked her head into the room to check on me a couple hours later. She'd seemed surprised that I was awake, if that was really the term for my zombie state. She'd force-fed me some delicious soup and refilled my water glass, which had mysteriously appeared. The woman had even drilled me on my medical history. _When did Emily get her medical degree?_

Once Nurse Betty was satisfied that I had eaten enough and was drinking plenty of fluids, she left me with orders to go back to sleep. I tried, I really did. I wanted nothing more than to sleep the day away. My eyelids weighed about three tons each and my brain was mush. But I just could not get comfortable. Something wasn't right. There was something nagging me on the edge of consciousness, something that just kept poking me every time I started to relax. A few hours later when Emily checked on me I was still awake. So I ate more soup. Then I lay there some more.

My door cracked open. Was it time for Emily to pour more liquids down my throat already? It felt like she'd just done that an hour or two earlier. I rolled over and glanced toward the door to see Paul peering in. He opened the door wider when he saw me.

"How are you feeling?" He asked quietly.

"Like shit."

He frowned as he walked closer. "Is there anything I can do? Do you need anything?"

"Yeah, a sleeping pill, Nyquil, a giant fucking mallet to the head. I just want to sleep, but I haven't been able to all day."

He moved closer slowly, easing down onto the side of the bed, giving me plenty of time to stop him. He reached out and brushed the hair from my face. "I don't know if we have any of that in the house. I can ask Emily or Sam to make a run to the drug store and bring some NyQuil back for you. Would that help?"

I yawned as I nodded my head. "Yeah, that sounds good."

"What kind do you want? Cherry or Green Death?"

I tried to chuckle but it sounded more like gravel rattling around in a can. "Green Death? What's that?"

"The green one tastes like shit."

"Ah. Well, no I don't want to drink shit. I'll take the cherry."

He smiled. "Good call. I'll go catch them before they leave, ask them if they'd mind. Be right back."

I watched him walking toward the door, but I was having a hard time keeping my eyelids open. They were getting heavier and heavier. _Why are you fighting it, Dumbass? Just let them close. It's what you've wanted all fucking day._ Oh, right. The last thing I saw as my eyelids slid closed was the image of Paul's face as he pulled the door closed behind himself. Finally, the annoying, nudging _something_ that wouldn't let me fall asleep all day was gone. As I started to drift off I realized that my bed was comfortable again too.

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AN: Everyone who saw that coming a mile away gets a cookie! Of course, the cookies probably have cold germs on them…Ya'll should know by now that I can't keep my own life from mixing into my stories. Sooo…yeah…we've shamelessly stolen a bit more from my life…we're already stealing the shitty past that haunts me, so why not take some of my present too. Mmkay? Kleenex and NyQuil anyone? Anyone? It's the cherry flavor. No takers? Okay, I'll just keep it all for myself then. **


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Twilight, there would have been stronger female characters, less whining, a LOT less manipulation, and the controlling tendencies would have been seen as a clear warning sign to get the fuck out of the relationship instead of some romanticized sign of how much he loved her. But hell, what do I know...I'm an accountant, not a published author.**

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Jenna POV**

"I don't think this is a good idea, Jenna. You weren't even well enough to go to school yesterday."

Paul was leaning against the kitchen counter, a mug of coffee clenched in his hands. His body language could easily be taken for anger, but one glance at his face quickly changed that interpretation. He was worried about me. I'd been calling him Nurse Betty in my head for the past four days. The boy had a real future as a Home Health assistant. Every moment that he was home was spent making me more comfortable or helping me with my son. He fluffed pillows, replaced empty tissue boxes with new ones, and emptied my tissue-filled trashcan. He even heated up dinner for me. Unfortunately, Emily came down with the cold after the first day of staying with me. So, she had asked her cousin Leah to help me with Anderson while Paul was in school.

At first I was wary of Leah caring for my son. I didn't know the girl and she didn't seem like the most loving person I'd ever met. Did I really want someone with her attitude problems around him for even a few days? But what choice did I have? And I was in the house with them. I could keep my ears open for any inappropriate behavior toward him. She surprised me though. Maybe I had caught her on bad days before, but Leah didn't seem like such a bad person after all. She was kind of quiet, and not really sure of herself with a sick person or a baby. But it was clear that she did want to help. So I asked Paul to show her how to make the bottles and how to change diapers. And when she needed a little help during the day, I tried to stay as far back as possible and talk her through whatever she needed help with. It was hard to see my son in need of help and not able to provide it myself. The urge to just step over and shove her out of the way, taking over, was almost overwhelming sometimes.

She was a lot different from her cousin Emily, that was obvious within a few hours. Emily was outgoing and cheerful, very confident despite her facial scarring. Leah seemed to be withdrawn, not really shy, more like she had been wounded and was avoiding contact with people now. It was an attitude that didn't seem to fit. Sitting on the couch, watching her move through the house, I could envision her more like Emily, and that vision seemed to match her more readily. She looked like she should be confident and outgoing. Maybe not as cheerful and bubbly as Emily. Leah would still have that take no prisoners vibe. But this reserved, spiteful mask she was hiding behind now was not the real Leah.

I wondered if spending more time around her cousin would help to draw her out of her depression, if that was her problem. It would certainly help her cooking abilities. Emily's homemade soup was gone by lunch of the day she called to say she was ill and wouldn't be making it. Since then, I had been living on sandwiches and soup from a can. The best that could be said was that it was sustenance that I didn't have to prepare for myself. I always made sure to thank Leah for it sincerely though. She had a guilty air about her when she delivered it that first time, even apologizing for not being as good of a cook as Emily. So I made a point of letting her know I appreciated all the help she was providing, no matter how insignificant she felt it might be.

"I just think you should take another few days to rest and get better. I can take you shopping later on next week," Paul offered, pulling my thoughts back to our conversation.

I raised my eyes from the plate of eggs Paul had prepared for me. He did have a point. If I didn't have the energy to scramble a fucking egg, how was I going to complete my Christmas shopping? But I was running out of time. "There's only a couple of weeks left before Christmas, Paul. I need to get my shopping done before the stores are even crazier than they're bound to be today."

He ran a hand through his hair. "But you're still sick, Jenna. Please, just rest."

"I'll take it easy. I'll rest a lot. And Leah will be there to help with Anderson. She's getting a lot more comfortable with him now."

Paul frowned. "I'd feel better if Emily was the one going with you."

"I think Leah needs this, Paul. That girl has been seriously hurt and she needs a friend. She needs a little girl time. Some retail therapy."

Surprise flickered across his face, quickly followed by wariness. "She told you? About Emily and Sam? What all did she say?"

My mouth fell open. Emily...and Sam? What was I missing? That implied… "What about Emily and Sam?"

Paul's eyes widened. "Uh. Nothing. Just eat your eggs. She'll be here soon."

"You can't say something like that and just leave it!" I exclaimed.

Paul groaned. "It's not my place to tell."

My mind spun. There was only one explanation that made sense, with his insinuation anyway. "So…Sam and Leah? Were they a thing? And then Emily just came in and took her cousin's man? Just like that? That bitch!"

Paul slammed his cup on the kitchen counter, anger flashing through his eyes. "It's not like that! Okay? Sam and Emily couldn't help themselves. They didn't mean for it to happen. Emily wasn't even trying to get Sam. It just kind of happened. They fell in love without meaning to and hurt one of the most important people to both of them."

I shook my head. "Fuck that. They should have fought it. You don't take your cousin's boyfriend."

Paul's eyes were filled with sorrow as they met mine. "She tried. She fucking tried, Jenna. You have no idea how hard she fought. How hard they both fought. They were miserable. They were both killing themselves trying to stay away from each other. You don't even know how much it hurts when the person you love is pushing you away with everything in them."

I stared at him in shock. Paul was speaking from personal experience. A pang of something fierce shot through me. Anger? No. Jealousy? Not quite. Possession? Yeah. That was it. But it made no sense. I had no right to feel possessive of Paul and his love. It certainly wasn't mine to claim. And I didn't want it anyway. I just had a harmless little crush on him. One that was bound to be near the end of its course anytime now.

We stared at each other, stuck in an awkward impasse. I felt like my gaze was stuck in his, like I couldn't move my eyes if my life depended on it. He looked absolutely heartbroken. Something in me, surely the mothering instinct, rose up and demanded that I go to him and wrap him in a hug. He needed comforting. He needed someone to stroke his head and tell him that everything was going to be alright. Thankfully my brain was still in control, keeping my ass firmly planted in the kitchen seat.

Finally, Paul lowered his gaze. "Just promise you'll stop if you get too tired. I don't want you to relapse."

I quickly looked down at my plate, afraid I would get sucked into his hypnotizing gaze again if he raised his eyes. "I'll take it easy. We'll take lots of breaks. And I'll let Leah do all the heavy lifting."

He sighed. "Fine."

"I'll pick up dinner on the way home. Will you be here when I get back or should I just get enough for John and me?"

I could see him shaking his head from the corner of my eye, but I wasn't stupid enough to raise my eyes again. I'd still be staring at him when Leah showed up if I dared to lift my head.

"I'll be working some Council business with Sam."

Curiosity rose up in me. "What exactly do you guys do for the Council? You've never said."

He shrugged, his body language turning shifty. "You know, this and that. Whatever they need really. Mostly security stuff, but sometimes we do construction and handy-man type things too."

I eyed him. "So you guys are the tribe bouncers? Why do you even need security? Is there really that much crime around here? I haven't noticed any."

He grinned. "Maybe that's because we've done our job right."

* * *

"I'd love to fill out a pair of jeans like that," Leah muttered quietly as I turned in front of the mirror.

I turned to her in surprise. "You're joking, right?"

She raised her eyebrows. "Why would that be a joke?"

I slapped my hand against my hip. "These things are huge. These are called child-bearing hips for a reason. Because they're big enough to set a child on. They're monstrous. I wish I had your figure. You're so slender. I'll never be skinny again. My body will never go back to the way it was before I had Anderson."

I cut my eyes to the stroller next to me with a small smile. He was worth it of course. I could deal with a few stretch marks and the cellulite on my ass. I'd gotten far more in return.

Leah snorted. "I look like a pre-pubescent boy. You look like a woman. You don't see the way the guys look at you. Of course, on the reservation it's not as noticeable. They all know Paul would tear them apart for daring to approach you. But I wouldn't be surprised if you had ten numbers by the time we go home today."

I glanced around the store, surprising myself when I caught five different guys staring at me. Well. That was unexpected.

I turned back to Leah with a frown, getting back to the subject at hand. "You do not look like a boy. Leah, you are gorgeous. Any guy would fall all over himself to get a date with you if you'd just pull that bitch stick out of your ass."

Her mouth fell open. "Excuse me?"

I shrugged. "So you've been hurt in the past. Who hasn't? Get over it and move on. Stop being a bitch about it."

She crossed her arms, glaring at me now. "You don't know a damn thing about my past, little girl. You need to back the fuck off before your mouth gets you into trouble. Just because you made one little mistake and wound up with a baby doesn't mean you know what it's like to experience real pain."

I laughed. "Oh, Leah. You have no idea what real pain is. The years of drugs and alcohol I went through to get to Anderson are nothing. They were the anesthetic I used to dull the pain. Anderson wasn't a mistake. He was my reward for all the shit I had to live through as a kid and a wake up call to grow up, all in one."

I turned back to the mirror to look at the jeans one more time. I was supposed to be buying Christmas presents for other people, but maybe one little present for myself wouldn't hurt. The jeans really did make my ass look good. I glanced at her face in the mirror. She was staring at me with an unreadable expression. It was possibly shock. I had the feeling that Leah wasn't used to anyone talking back to her.

I turned back to her. "I think I'll get these. They look good on me. I'll get changed and then we need to go get Paul's gift. I was thinking about a weight set. He's got all those muscles so he must work out, but I haven't seen a weight set since he moved in."

Leah smirked. "I don't think he'd want to work out at John's. That's more something he'd do with Sam and the guys."

I slumped. Damn. If I didn't get him weights then I had nothing. What the hell was I going to get for him? I made my way to the changing room, shifting through every memory of Paul that I could. What could I get him? I exited the changing room still clueless.

Leah had a thoughtful look on her face as I paid for the jeans and walked out of the shop. "Why don't we go to a pawn shop? You might get some ideas there."

I yawned as I pushed the stroller down the street. We'd been shopping for hours now. Paul's was the last gift on my list. If I didn't find something soon, I would have to give up for the day and try again later. Paul would be pissed if he saw how tired I had allowed myself to get. Thankfully he would be out of the house when I returned home. I would only have to deal with John at dinner. Then I could escape to bed early.

"Here's a pawn shop," Leah pointed out.

I followed her into the store, peering into the dim shop. I didn't have any idea what I should get for him now. Leah wandered toward the jewelry. Huh. I'd never seen her wear any before. She didn't strike me as the type to wear any. But maybe I had been wrong. Maybe she was a closet girly-girl. That was just stupid if she was. She should just let it out. Wear girly dresses, makeup and jewelry if that's who she wanted to be. Maybe she'd attract a boy she so desperately seemed to want if she let her true self out. And if she was being herself when she attracted the guy, they'd both be happier in the relationship. Maybe she'd actually hold onto the guy instead of losing him to someone else.

I browsed through the game section of the store for awhile. I knew that Embry, Collin, Brady and Seth had weekend-long video game sessions. But Paul had never seemed that interested in participating. They always invited him, but he inevitably chose to stay home instead. So he must not have that much interest in video games. I moved on to the movies, flipping through the titles. He did like action and martial arts films. All of the movies in the pawn shop collection seemed to be bad eighties and poorly reviewed nineties movies.

The CD selection wasn't much better. Besides, I didn't think he would appreciate a used CD. It would probably be scratched all to hell. I was about to give up on the pawn shop and find Leah when my eyes slid over the corner filled with instruments. A late night conversation filtered to the front of my brain. We'd been talking about our foster homes again. By mutual agreement, we only ever talked about the good ones. Why remember the bad ones if we didn't have to?

_"Mrs. Watkins tried her hardest to teach me piano," I said with a giggle, curling into the side of the couch._

_ Paul smirked. "Tried?"_

_ I nodded. "I like music, I really do. But when I try to play it I only end up butchering it. I have no business singing either. Seriously. I think my voice could be used as a weapon of mass destruction."_

_ Paul smiled at me, shaking his head. "I doubt it's that bad."_

_ "Trust me. It is. What about you? Do you play any instruments?"_

_ His grin slid away as a wistful look overtook his face. "I used to have a guitar. I played that thing all the time. My dad got ahold of it though."_

I rushed over to the guitars, my heart rate picking up. A guitar! This was perfect! Paul would _love_ a guitar. He would never think about buying one for himself, but he would absolutely love to have one. I looked over the guitars carefully. There were only five of them. I wished I had an idea what I was looking for, but I really didn't. I picked one up, strumming it quietly.

"You gonna start up a band and go out on the road?" Leah asked from behind me.

I shook my head, putting the guitar down, moving on to touch the next reverently. "One of these is Paul's. I just have to figure out which one."

She moved around to my side. "He wants to learn to play?"

I shook my head again. "He already knows how."

"Huh."

The last one on the right was a dull black color. It looked scratched up and slightly neglected. I picked it up and slowly strummed. The sound was mellow and soothing. The strings obviously needed to be tuned, but even for that, the instrument had a nice sound. I had found the one. I flipped the tag over. Hmm. It was a little more than I had wanted to pay. And I would have to get a case, new strings and a pick for him still. It was time to pull out the angry baby routine.

"Leah, can you please hold the guitar for me for a minute so no one else will get it?"

I handed off the guitar and took my son off to the restroom. He had reached a new stage, where for some reason he hated having his diaper changed. And he had decided that if he had to have a new diaper, then he'd damn well better have a bottle soon after, to make up for the indignity. If he didn't have a bottle within a few seconds of a diaper, Anderson had gotten into the habit of fussing. If a bottle still didn't appear, he'd start full out crying. Soon, the crying turned into screams. He was spoiled, pure and simple. I would have to work with Emily on correcting the issue, because clearly it was our fault, the both of us together. But for this moment, I could use this.

I returned with a clean son, although his diaper had barely been damp when I had changed it. He was already crying when I walked over to Leah. She sent me a concerned look.

"Do I need to take him and feed him for you?"

I shook my head quickly. "Not yet. Can you grab that guitar case over there? And that tuner? Oh, and a pick? I'll have to ask the clerk for a new set of strings because I have no idea what kind we're supposed to get. Is there a difference between acoustic and electric?"

I could barely hear myself thinking over Anderson's cries by the time we reached the cash register. The man behind the register sent my son an anxious look. "Can I help you?"

I sent him a smile as his eyes shifted nervously yet again to the child wailing in my arms. Perfect. He wasn't the least bit comfortable with a crying child. By the time I was done with him, I had everything I needed for ten percent less than the guitar was originally priced.

* * *

"Did you have a good time shopping?" John asked as I collapsed onto the couch.

I nodded wearily. Now that I had allowed myself to truly relax I realized just how tired I really was. Paul had been right, I had been too tired to do the shopping that I had left on my list all in one day. It had been too much.

"How are you feeling?"

I shrugged. "A little better than earlier in the week. Just worn out now."

John smiled at me, the smile not quite reaching his eyes. "I have some good news."

If it was such good news, why didn't he look excited to share it with me?

He leaned forward. "The guardianship went through. I am now officially your guardian."

I smiled at him. That was good news. "Great."

John nodded, his expression serious as he studied me. "Because I'm your guardian now, they shared your history with me. _All_ of your history, Jenna."

I swear my heart stopped. My lungs stopped. Even my brain stuttered to a grinding halt for a long moment. What right did the fucking social workers have sharing my past with John just because he was legally responsible for me now? My past had no bearing on my present. I didn't allow it to. That shit was over and done with and he had no reason to know.

I stared at him for a long, tense moment. Finally I managed to speak. "Well…I brought some fried chicken home for dinner. It's in the fridge. I'm going to bed."

"Wait, Jenna. We should talk about this."

I shook my head. "There is nothing to talk about, John."

"I think there is. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Why should I have told you? What could you have done? Do you have a time machine? Do you have a magic button to undo it all? Talking won't change it, John. I don't want to talk about it anymore. I'm tired. I'm going to bed."

I took myself off to my room, taking a quick shower and checking on Anderson before collapsing into bed.

**

* * *

PPOV**

John wasn't usually one to stay up late. So it was convenient that he was still up watching TV when I came home a little after midnight. I would have just barged into his room and woken him up if he'd been in bed. Something had happened to Jenna after Leah dropped her off. Something to upset her deeply. If that something wasn't related to John, then he would at least know what it was. And he was going to tell me all about it.

John turned off the TV as soon as I walked in the door, almost like he had been waiting for me.

"You gonna tell me then?"

He sighed. "I can't. It's not my story to tell."

I growled. "What the fuck does that mean?"

John looked away, shaking his head. "I shouldn't even know, Son. It was her place to tell me, but someone took that away from her today. That's why she was so upset. I won't do that to her just so your curiosity can be appeased. If she wants you to know her past, she'll tell you."

"So you didn't do anything to make her mad?" I reiterated, just to be sure he was completely innocent.

He shook his head. "No. I was granted guardianship, and when that happened they unsealed her records to me. She wasn't happy about that. I'm not going to go around discussing her past behind her back."

I nodded. "I wouldn't want you to."

John pushed himself out of his chair. "There's some chicken left in the fridge. I'm going to bed."

I nodded to acknowledge his words, but my mind was focused on something else. I sat down on the couch, clenching and unclenching my hands repeatedly. A mixture of anxiety and rage was coursing through my body. If I only knew the proper target I would be off this couch and hunting. Somewhere out there was a person that deserved to run across a bad motherfucking shapeshifter with revenge on his mind. The look in John's eyes had said it all. From our little chats, I knew that Jenna's past was rocky. That there was the distinct possibility I would not handle a few truths she had to tell with the best reaction. But the look in John's eye had sent a chill down my spine and then ignited a fire of rage in my soul. That look said that the truth of her past was so much worse than anything I had allowed myself to imagine.

What the fuck had been in those records that had dulled the sparkle in John's eyes?

**

* * *

AN: I am now on Twitter. I'll use it to update on status of stories...when I think about that...and to bitch and moan about life in general. http:/twitter(dot)com/ DTSGuru. I'll try to edit myself before I post anything out there, but real life will bypass my brain and take over my fingers at times (just see my first post for proof of that).**

**I wrote (and edited) this over the past 4 hours while taking care of a sick kid...so pretend you don't see the errors that inevitably sneak through. There's always one or two (or ten) of the little bastards in each chapter. I just don't want to drive everyone crazy with update alerts on chapters updated for a couple grammatical corrections.**


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

**Disclaimer: Original characters and story are not mine…this fucked up version however I can take full credit for.**

**

* * *

Jenna POV**

The winter break from school would have been much more enjoyable if John hadn't also taken off a couple weeks from work. The man was constantly under foot. Everywhere I turned, there was John, watching me with those pitying eyes. It was so fucking annoying. He was constantly asking me if I needed anything, if I would like some help, a drink, a sandwich, a blanket. He was treating me like a fucking victim.

"Why don't you go take a break, Jenna? I'll finish the dishes." John offered with that too gentle tone to his voice.

"That's it!" I slammed the sponge back into the water and spun around. A small part of my brain took the time to wish that I had been holding something heavier, something that would have made a bigger impact. I pointed a sudsy finger toward my uncle. "This has got to stop, John! I am not a victim! You have to stop treating me like I'm about to break!"

Paul sat at the table, his eyes whipping back and forth between John and me. "What's going on?"

I narrowed my eyes at John. "This is between John and me. And that's how it's going to stay."

Paul's face filled with anger. "He's doing something to piss you off, so it's my business too."

Okay, that made no sense whatsoever. "I'm a big girl. I can fight my own battles." I turned back to John. "My past is exactly that, my past. All that shit is done and over with. Stop thinking about it all the time. That shit will take over your life if you let it."

John shook his head. "I can't just ignore what that bastard did to you, Jenna."

"Wait, what?" Paul growled. "What the fuck is going on?"

I darted my eyes to Paul before returning my glare to John. "Keep your fucking mouth shut, John. It's bad enough you know about that, I don't want anyone else to know."

John sighed. He looked between Paul and me. "I think Paul would help you with your past, Jenna. You should trust him. But I'll let you decide when and if to tell him."

Yes, because I had every intention of telling my crush all about the horrors I had lived through as a kid. That would draw him to my side like a fly to honey. I already had a strike against me. I was a single mother. That alone would be enough to handicap any potential for a real relationship with the boy. If I dared to trust him with my deepest, darkest secrets, I would probably lose any hope of keeping our friendship too. I was too scarred, too damaged to expect anyone to want me.

* * *

I avoided the stress of the whole John situation in typical Jenna fashion. I cooked. And baked. Like a mad woman. We had fresh bread and cookies on every surface of the kitchen. And tins of fudge for everyone in the usual lunch crowd. I even made a tin for Sam and Emily and one for Leah. We couldn't possibly eat all of the Christmas shit I made. But I had to focus all my nervous energy somewhere. It was either this or beat the shit out of John. Since I didn't want to find Anderson and myself homeless, I made multiple trips to the small reservation grocery store and spent most of my time in the kitchen.

Paul was in heaven.

When he was home he was standing in the kitchen, sampling whatever goodie I was working on at the time. Anderson was usually in his arms. The boy had decided that Paul was his best friend. I think it was because Paul was slipping him bites of the goodies when he thought I wasn't paying attention. Paul had grown a lot more comfortable with my son. He didn't look the least bit scared when Anderson would hold his hands up, asking in his own way to be picked up.

John was smart enough to avoid me for a few days after our little discussion in the kitchen. He spent a lot of time at Billy's. When he wasn't at his brother's house, he was in his recliner, nursing a beer and watching TV. At the dinner table all three of us were silent. I didn't have anything to say to John. I didn't even want to say anything around him. I was being childish, I knew that. I would have to make myself grow up a little by Christmas morning, but I was wallowing in my immaturity until then.

**

* * *

PPOV**

The tension in the house was getting to me. Every day it was harder to resist the little voice in my head telling me to sucker punch John. The fucker had it coming, pissing off my Jenna like that. She was still pissed. Anger rolled off of her in waves every time the man was in the house. The waves crashed into me, feeding the beast within. He snarled and clawed at the cage of humanity that kept him at bay. If this continued much longer there wasn't going to be much I could do to keep from phasing on accident. The only time I felt like I was in control was when I was close to her. Standing next to her in the kitchen, watching her bake, or cook, or decorate, whatever she was doing at the moment, holding her son, I felt like we were a family, wrapped in a little cocoon of happiness, of contentment.

Meal times were the worst. We all sat at the table, wordlessly choking down our food. I loved Jenna's cooking, but it was almost impossible to eat now, with John at the table. He kept eyeing her. He still had that sorrowful look in his eyes, the one that had pissed her off so much. What the fuck did he know that made him so sad? What the fuck had happened to her that made her so defensive? What did she not want me to know? Why the hell didn't she want me to know?

That was the worst part. Just the idea that she didn't even want to tell me. Why couldn't she tell me? Did she still not trust me? How could she not trust me? That couldn't be it. She let me take care of Anderson now. A mother does not let a person take care of her son without trusting them. So she just didn't want to tell me. She didn't want me to know important details about her past. So, that meant I wasn't an important part of her life. Not even as a friend. If I was a close enough friend, she would tell me important details about her past. And whatever John and Jenna were hiding about her past, it sounded fucking important.

I pulled my shoes on slowly on Christmas morning. My stomach was in knots. It had been since I'd woken up. Of course, it was probably because Jenna's scream had been what woke me. She'd always had nightmares, at least that's what it felt like. Every morning I was woken up by feelings of anxiety crossing over the imprint bond. But ever since John had opened his fucking mouth and confessed to finding out about her past, Jenna's dreams had gotten worse. Christmas morning was the first time I'd been woken by a bloodcurdling scream though. Sheer panic had flooded my system. I was halfway across the bathroom, about to burst into her room to kill the motherfuckers who were attacking her, when the wave of embarrassment hit me. Then realization had hit as my hand reached for the knob.

I heard her sit up in the bed, muttering about damn nightmares. I stopped. As much as I would love to go into that room and comfort her, I doubted she would let me. My heart was still pounding as I heard her moving around in her room. She had woken Anderson with her scream. Hell, she'd probably woken half the reservation. I was sure the pack would be asking questions. When I heard her moving toward the bathroom, I had rushed into my own room, shutting the door behind me.

I couldn't hide in my room all morning though. Jenna was cooking breakfast. Which meant another meal with fucking John. Then Billy and Jake were supposed to show up to do the whole Christmas thing. I was kind of looking forward to that. It would be fun to watch Anderson and Jenna open their presents. I'd found a really soft stuffed wolf for Anderson. Hopefully Jenna wouldn't burn it when she learned the truth about me.

Breakfast was as tense as I expected. I could only stomach three servings of her melt-in-my mouth pancakes. There was hope for my future meals though. She didn't seem to be as angry as she had been. She still didn't talk to her uncle. This was a valuable learning experience for me. Don't piss Jenna off. Girl could hold a fucking grudge.

As soon as Jenna started clearing the table, I jumped up, interrupting her. "Go ahead and get ready. I'll do the dishes."

She was dressed but she hadn't brushed her hair or put on any makeup. I doubted she wanted to still be in that condition when Jake and Billy showed up. She sent me an appreciative smile before taking off for her room.

"What the hell? Why can you get away with that and I can't?"

I grinned at John. He shrunk back a little in his chair. My grin may have looked a bit more like baring my teeth than an actual smile.

"You need to back off and start treating Jenna like a normal fucking person, John. She doesn't appreciate the special treatment. And I really don't appreciate the way you're making her feel."

John rubbed a hand on his face. "You'd understand if she would just tell you already. I can't help it! It makes me sick to my stomach, Paul. I want to hunt the bastard down and castrate him."

John paled suddenly and glanced away. I felt myself shaking. What the fuck had he meant by that? Why castrate? Why was _that_ the first punishment that came to John's mind? Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I was gonna phase.

I ran out of the house as fast as I could. I made it into the woods and out of my jeans. I shredded my shirt and underwear though. I growled as I paced back and forth. What the fuck did John know that I didn't? What had the bastard done to my Jenna? Who was he? Someone out there needed to be killed and no one would tell me who he was or why he deserved to be killed.

"_What's going on?"_ Jared asked.

I could see images of the forest from his mind's eye. He was running patrol.

I involuntarily replayed the entire week's events for him in the flash of an eye. I couldn't help myself. As soon as he asked my mind went down that path. Hell, it probably would have happened anyway. I couldn't _stop_ thinking about it.

_"Shit."_ Jared replied to my thought stream quietly. _"What…what do you think happened to her?"_

_ "I don't know what to think. I don't want to think about it but I can't _**_stop_**_ thinking about it."_

We were both quiet. I paced as he continued to run his patrol. I focused on the visions of his patrol route, trying to calm myself. I couldn't still be out here when it was time to open Christmas presents, stuck in this form because I was too angry to phase back.

_"She'll confide in you eventually." _Jared reassured.

_"I wouldn't be too sure about that."_

_ "She will. She's your imprint. It's only a matter of time before she feels comfortable sharing everything with you. Maybe it's because of the imprint that she's afraid to."_

_ "That's the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard."_

_ "No, listen. She's probably got all these strong feelings for you that she doesn't understand. It's got to be scary. Maybe she's afraid of opening up to you. And you have no right being offended that she's hiding a big secret, you big hypocrite. Until you tell her about the whole wolf and imprint thing you can't be mad that she's hiding things from you." _

Well, yeah. But if I told her I would lose her.

"If you're done communing with nature it's time to open presents."

I turned to see Jake standing there with his arms crossed, my jeans dangling from one of his hands. When the fuck did he walk up? How did I miss that? There were dried leaves all over the ground. With his huge clod-hoppers how the hell did I miss all the racket he had to be making walking through the forest?

He threw the jeans in my direction. "Come on. Jenna said she had some cookies and fudge for me after the presents. Let's go."

Jenna sent me a questioning look when I walked into the living room. I tried for a reassuring smile as I took the seat next to her. I needed to get my shit together, for her. I could not react like John had. I couldn't start acting weird around her. Weirder. Whatever.

We started the presents with Anderson. The kid made out like a bandit. The pile was bigger than he was. Of course, he had no fucking clue what to do. Jenna tried showing him how to rip into the wrapping paper. He sent her a drool-covered grin and babbled in reply, but didn't make a move to help her. I chuckled as she tried again.

"Come on, Anderson. Just rip the paper, like this," she ripped the paper for him again.

He picked up the box and threw it toward me. I leaned down and handed it back to him. "I think this might take awhile."

It was damn cute though. Jenna eventually gave up and opened all of the presents for her son. He didn't look like he cared much about his new toys and clothes. He loved the wrapping paper though. He crumpled the paper between his hands, squealing and laughing as it crinkled.

I watched anxiously as Jenna opened up the first present I had gotten her. I didn't know how she would take this one, if she would remember the reference. Understand the joke. She was careful with the wrapping paper, trying not to tear it as she removed it from the box. Then she slit the tape on the box. I held my breath as she pulled the flaps back, revealing the red, bulbous gloves. She pulled them out. After a slight pause she busted out laughing.

John, Billy and Jake all sent me an odd look, wondering why I had bought Jenna boxing gloves for Christmas. I ignored their reactions, soaking up the pleasure rolling off of Jenna. She understood.

"I hung up a punching bag in the game room, too." I stated.

She laughed. It was the most beautiful sound ever. "So I won't have to use your stomach next time?"

I smiled. "You can still use my stomach if you'd prefer. Thought you might like options though."

"Thank you, Paul."

I nudged the other present her way. "Don't forget the other one."

She set the gloves to the side and picked up the smaller gift. I knew she would like this one. She opened this one a little quicker, eager now to see what else I had gotten her. Her smile softened as the paper pulled away. Her eyes moved over the movie titles greedily. She loved old movies. She ran the fingers of one hand gently over the spines of the movies as she read them. It was ridiculous how insanely jealous I was of those DVD boxes in that moment. I made myself watch her face instead as she read the titles. This was the only Christmas present I needed, seeing her pleasure in receiving a gift I had picked out for her.

Huh. She skipped right over that one. And a strong wave of pain flashed over the bond. But then she was back to enjoying the gift. I leaned closer, trying to see the one she hadn't liked. It didn't make sense. Who didn't like Singing in the Rain? Even I liked that one and I didn't really like old movies.

She glanced up at me with a wide smile. "Thank you, Paul. These are perfect. I love them."

Warmth spread through my chest. I had made her happy. I put that smile on her face. This felt like the most meaningful thing I had ever accomplished in my life.

Jenna hopped up off the couch. "Okay. My turn to pass out presents."

She grabbed an armful of presents and moved to the recliner first, handing one to John. Then she handed out the remaining two to Billy and Jake. Disappointment flashed through me momentarily. But I shoved that selfish shit aside. I had made her happy and that was the important thing. She didn't need to get me anything.

I tried to be the bigger man as Jake opened up the newest blockbuster action movie. I liked action movies. She could have gotten that movie for me too. John and Billy both got a box full of new fishing lures. Hell, I would have smiled over those too. I didn't even fish that often. But I would have liked them if she'd gotten them for me. Because then it would have meant she was at least thinking of me. And hadn't she said she was going to buy me a Christmas present when we were shopping for the tree? _Stop being such a pussy. So you didn't get a Christmas present. Boo-fucking-hoo._

She turned to me and I automatically sent her a smile, trying to hide my disappointment. I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable. "I couldn't figure out how to wrap yours. So could you just close your eyes for a second while I go grab it? I want it to be a surprise."

My heart skipped a beat. Inside me there was an eleven-year-old girl jumping up and down clapping her hands and squealing. My smile widened. "Sure."

I slammed my eyes shut and waited with that huge as fuck grin plastered to my face. Jenna didn't forget me. She got me a present. I did a mental happy dance as I waited for her to return from her room with my gift. What could it be? It had to be big or at least awkwardly shaped for her to have trouble wrapping it. I couldn't think of anything that I wanted that would cause problems though. DVDs and CDs were pretty fucking easy to wrap. Even I could do it and I wrapped presents like a drunk five-year-old.

I heard her step around to stand directly in front of me. "Okay, you can open your eyes now."

I opened up. _No fucking way._

My mouth fell open.

She held the guitar case out toward me, but I was too stunned to take it. Doubt flickered across her features. That shook me out of my daze. This was the most amazing gift I had ever received, and my jackass reception had her doubting herself. I reached forward to take the case and sent her a big smile.

"This is amazing, Jenna."

She smiled back. "Open it up before you decide how great it is." She frowned a little. "I got it at a pawn shop. It's not like it's new or anything."

I shook my head. "It's still fuck-awesome."

I opened up the case quickly, revealing a shining black guitar. Someone had taken the time to wax the guitar to a mirror finish. If she'd bought the thing at a pawn shop, I doubted that it came that way. Jenna had probably done that for me. I pulled it out of the case and settled it on my lap, strumming an experimental chord. The strings were slightly out of tune.

Jenna bent down, reaching into the case. "Here. I got you a tuner too."

"Thanks."

I turned on the tuner and began the slow process of tuning the guitar, twisting the tuning knobs one by one, strumming the note, and twisting again until the note rang true. After a few minutes Jake jumped up off the ground and went in search of his fudge and cookies. Billy and John followed him into the kitchen. Jenna seemed content to sit on the ground, watching me.

Finally, I had the guitar tuned perfectly. I glanced over at Jenna to see that she was still watching me, with a small smile on her face. "Any special requests?"

"It _is_ Christmas. Do you know any Christmas carols?"

So I played her every Christmas carol I knew. I was a little out of practice, but after a couple songs I started remembering chords better and messing up less. Jenna sang along quietly, or attempted to anyway. She hadn't been lying when she said her singing was awful. She couldn't carry a tune if her life depended on it. But I didn't give a flying fuck about how bad she sounded. She chose to be here with me, doing something I loved. I could do this with her for the rest of the day.

So that's exactly what I did.

**

* * *

AN: How we doin' folks? RL is being a bitch right now, so I've had a hard time finding time to write, but I managed to carve out a couple hours here and there today to piece this together. Hope ya'll like it. **

**So, I'm gonna be pulling Bella in soon. And since this is my story I get to decide who she ends up with. Nifty idea, huh? I don't _have_ to let her go back to that controlling, passive aggressive prick. So, what do ya think about that? I have some options I'm mulling...**

**If I don't see ya before then, Have a Merry Christmas!**


	21. Chapter 21

_**Chapter 21**_

**Disclaimer: Rights to Twilight weren't among any of the gifts I unwrapped for Christmas this year.**

**

* * *

Jenna POV**

_I stared at the shingles on the church across the street, trying to numb myself to the words washing over me. I couldn't help but find it disturbingly funny that there was a church right across the street from us while Alan was giving his sick lessons. There was something so wrong about that. All those pure people walking past our house in their Sunday best. They never knew that so much filth lived in the house just across from their precious house of worship. To make it even more laughable, Alan let them use his extra parking when the lot was full. Sometimes we even attended with them. We sat right there in the pews with them. Like we belonged there. Like I wasn't ruined and Alan wasn't damned to burn in Hell for eternity._

_ No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't ignore Alan's words as he gave me an in-depth biology lesson. He felt I needed to be prepared, for my own good. I couldn't help but snort at the thought of Alan providing any of these lessons out of concern for me. _

_ A large hand gripped my arm firmly, yanking me out of my seat. "You will not disrespect me."_

_ A whimper slipped from my tightly clamped lips as he pulled me into the house. I had made the mistake of laughing at him and now he would punish me._

I jerked my eyes open, disoriented. My heart was pounding. For a long moment I lay in the dark, trying to calm myself. I couldn't get my mind off the dream though. That afternoon had been one of the last, and worst, lessons I had experienced. Alan had been furious with my derision. I thought that night would never end.

I sat up, swinging my legs over the edge of the bed. The house was quiet, the kind of quiet that only happens in the dead of night. I was too keyed up to appreciate it though. I needed to get up and move. I felt like my whole body was shaking. I jumped up off the bed and started to pace. I walked to one end of the room and turned around swiftly crossing to the other end and back again a few times. This wasn't helping any. There was a tight ball of anxiety in my stomach. I was seconds away from a panic attack. I could feel it lurking, waiting to pounce. If this kept up, I was going to wake Anderson, but I wouldn't be in any shape to take care of him.

Moving quickly, I left my room, shutting the door behind me with a soft click. Maybe a glass of warm milk would help calm me down. Or better yet, hot chocolate. The caffeine in the chocolate might be counterproductive, but the nostalgia could be enough to relax me back into sleep. Hell, I'd settle for being up the remainder of the night as long as I didn't wind up in a corner curled into the fetal position.

I made my way into the kitchen and found some instant hot chocolate mix. As I attempted to fill a mug with water I noticed that my hands were shaking worse than Paul's when he was battling his temper. Real hot chocolate would taste better, but I didn't have the patience or the mental abilities to go to that kind of trouble at the moment. I had just put the mug in the microwave and turned it on when I turned to find Paul stumbling into the kitchen.

At first I jumped as the panic attack loomed closer. My heart pounded at the shock I had received finding another person standing there. Then the guilt flooded me. Dammit, not only had my fucking memories ruined my night, now they had ruined Paul's too. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

He shrugged. "It's okay. What'cha doin'?"

I flicked my hand toward the microwave. "Heating up water for hot chocolate."

His squinted eyes considered me for a long moment. I barely resisted the urge to squirm. Paul had a way of looking at me that felt like he had split me open to examine my soul. It was disconcerting and uncomfortable. I didn't like being vulnerable. No, I flat-out refused to be vulnerable ever again. No one was going to have control over me again.

"Want some company?"

I shrugged. "You can go on back to bed if you want. You look tired."

He shook his head. "Well _now_ all I can think about is hot chocolate."

He sent me a little grin before moving to the cabinet to retrieve a mug.

_

* * *

We were eating breakfast. There weren't enough seats at the table, so I was standing between Mom and Alan. Suddenly, Alan grabbed my plate and scooted it closer to his own. Then he reached his arm around my waist, pulling me onto his leg._

I jerked up out of sleep with a scowl. The dream seemed completely harmless, unless the person knew the placement of Alan's hand. I didn't remember how old I had been, just very young. I doubt I had even been in kindergarten yet. I didn't remember who the guests had been, just that there were adults filling all of the chairs at the tables.

After wasting fifteen minutes trying to relax, I gave up. More hot chocolate was in order. It had really done the trick the night before. Or maybe it had been the company. Paul and I had stood in the kitchen, leaning against the counters on opposite sides of the kitchen as we sipped out drinks. We hadn't even really talked. Paul tried, but I had been in no mood for a conversation. So we'd simply enjoyed the silence together instead. It had been nice.

I stopped short when I walked into the living room and noticed the kitchen light pouring through the doorway. What was Paul doing up? I chewed on my lip. Had I made some kind of noise before I woke up? Had I screamed? I hoped not. That would be incredibly embarrassing.

Paul glanced over his shoulder at me when I walked into the kitchen. He was standing at the microwave, heating up a mug of water. He had a packet of hot chocolate sitting ready at hand. Fan-fucking-tastic. I had woken him up.

But then I looked at him a little closer. He was wearing a pair of shorts. Paul didn't sleep in shorts. Every time I'd seen Paul just after he woke up he'd always been wearing flannel sleeping pants. Where the hell had Paul been? I knew he'd gone to bed when I had. I saw him go into his room at the same time I had. Suspicion filled me. Had it been an act? Had he acted like he was going to bed only to sneak out as soon as I was in my room for the night?

"Did you leave? Did you just get back from somewhere?" My distrust tainted my tone.

Paul shrugged his shoulders. "Sam called a little after I went to bed. He needed a little help with something."

"Everything okay?"

He nodded briskly as he took his mug out of the microwave. I watched as he ripped the hot chocolate package open and poured the mix into the hot water. Was that nod of his head going to be his only answer? Was there going to be no explanation for what Sam needed? Now that I thought about it, the whole Sam and working for the council situation was a little weird. There was something going on there. And clearly Paul didn't want to tell me anything about it. I struggled with the urge to ask him to tell me the fucking truth already.

But I came back to the same argument as always. If I expected him to tell me the whole truth and nothing but the truth, then I had to return the favor. And I had no intention of doing that. So, I kept my lips pinched together.

Paul glanced up from mixing the contents of his mug. "You've created a monster here. I think I'm addicted to this shit."

I felt my lips pulling into a small grin, despite my irrational irritation with his duplicity.

"That does look good. I think I'll make some for myself."

Paul frowned, glancing up again. "Did you have another bad dream?"

I stopped in my tracks, halfway across the kitchen. How the fuck did he know I'd been having bad dreams? I had never told _anyone_ about my dreams. Ever. I turned in slow motion to look at him.

"What?"

He was studying me now, his face filled with concern.

"What do you mean? How do you know about the dreams?"

Paul snorted. "Jenna. You were up in the middle of the night, white as a fucking ghost, looking for comfort food. You jumped about five fucking feet when I walked into the kitchen yesterday. I'm not retarded."

I let out a slow breath. When he put it like that, I felt like the idiot. _Of course_ he knew why I was in the kitchen the night before. Why else would I be up in the middle of the night when Anderson was sound asleep?

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," I snapped and spun around quickly.

I retrieved a mug and filled it with water, ignoring his presence. It was kind of hard to keep ignoring him when I moved to the microwave but I made a valiant effort. He was still standing right there. I was nearly brushing up against him as I opened the little door and slid the mug in. As soon as I had started it up, I stepped away, putting a little space between us.

"Wanna watch a little TV?"

I shrugged in response. "About the only thing on right now is shitty movies and infomercials."

And I should know. I'd been up at this horrifying hour countless times with my son when he refused to sleep.

Paul sent me a serious look. "It's that or talk about your nightmares, Jenna."

"So, do you want to learn about the newest kitchen appliance that'll change your life or do you want to see if they're playing Prayer of the Rollerboys again?"

Paul let out a loud, unexpected laugh, startling me. "They still play that piece of shit?"

I snorted. "I saw it a few weeks ago. It was so bad it was good. Funniest thing I've seen in forever."

"Well hurry up, I'll go see if it's on." He grabbed his mug before rushing into the living room.

I smiled as I turned back to the microwave. An idea popped into my head, sending me over to the cabinet to search for popcorn. A movie night was nothing without popcorn. As soon as the microwave dinged at me, I switched out my heated water for the bag of popcorn. I stirred the mix of hot chocolate into the water as I watched the bag in the microwave. The anxiety in my stomach had been replaced with anticipation. It was stupid, but I was looking forward to the impromptu movie night.

"What's taking so long?" Paul asked as he popped into the doorway. "Hey! Is that popcorn?"

"Yep." I glanced back to see a smile spreading across his face.

"You are a fucking mind reader." He replied.

I smiled in return before turning back to the microwave. The popcorn had just stopped popping. I jerked the door open and grabbed the bag before the corn could start burning. I turned to get a bowl for the popcorn, but Paul had beat me to it. I grabbed my mug and headed for the living room, Paul trailing along behind me.

"So is it on?"

"No," He said, his voice a little glum. "I found something called Space Balls instead."

"You're kidding!" I felt like jumping up and down, but I would spill my drink. I rushed to the couch instead, my eyes already glued to the screen. Oh goodie, it had just started too.

"Sooooo…that's a good 'you're kidding' right?" Paul asked as he settled next to me, taking the popcorn from my limp hand. I had forgotten I was even holding it.

I flicked my eyes to him quickly before returning my attention to the screen. "This is one of my favorite bad movies ever! I love this movie! You can't tell me you've never seen it."

"Well then I'd be lying, and I have no intention of lying to you, Jenna."

"Just watch it. You're going to love this one. It's Mel Brooks, so you know it's going to be cheese-tastic."

* * *

I started to stretch, sending my leg off the edge of whatever I was laying on. I opened my eyes quickly, afraid I was about to roll off of my bed like a fucking two year old. But I wasn't in my room. I was in the living room. Why the hell was I on the couch? I sat up, looking around. There was a blanket draped over me, now pooled around my waist since I had sat up. How did that get there? I knew I hadn't fallen asleep with a blanket the night before as Paul and I watched the movie.

"Morning."

I jerked my head toward Paul's voice and was shocked again. Anderson was awake, and apparently happily fed too. There was no way he would be content to sit in Paul's lap unless he had been fed already. Which meant Paul had fed him, while I was passed out on the couch.

I rubbed my face, trying to wake up a little. What was going on here? I felt like I was losing my mind a little. "What time is it?"

"Just a little after nine."

"What!"

Paul chuckled. "You needed the sleep. I couldn't stand the thought of waking you, so I got up with Little Man here."

I frowned over at him. "How long have you guys been up?"

"Only a couple hours." Paul said with a shrug.

"A couple hours!" He let me lay here for a couple hours while he took care of my son!

"Don't make it a big thing, Jenna. You needed the rest. I like taking care of him. Anderson's a cool little dude. We were just chillin' most of the time anyway."

I stood, and immediately my bladder started cussing me out. "Give me a few minutes and I'll take him off your hands."

A hurt look flashed across Paul's face. I considered it as I moved toward the restroom. Maybe he really did like taking care of the baby. But that didn't make any sense. Why on earth would he enjoy taking care of someone else's baby. I loved caring for Anderson, but that was because he was my son. If he was someone else's baby and I was forced to care for him, I would probably resent it. So why did Paul act as if he enjoyed it? That boy was damn confusing.

**

* * *

PPOV**

I jumped out of bed, my heart going a hundred miles an hour, Jenna's scream echoing in my ears. Shit. That one had been bad. I could still feel the fear coursing through her system. I moved toward the bathroom. Fuck this shit. I was going into that room. I was going to comfort her.

But she was on the move. Before I could reach the bathroom she was already opening her bedroom door. Cursing, I spun around and headed for my bedroom door. What the fuck was giving her these nightly demons to fight? I started to shake as John's words from a week earlier flashed through my mind. He wanted to castrate some man. I would bet my life that the mystery man had something to do with Jenna's nightmares. Clearly she'd lived through something traumatic, and she was reliving it nightly. If I could just get my hands on that fucker…

I forced my thoughts off of that dangerous subject as I rounded the entryway into the living room. I couldn't phase right now, Jenna needed me. She was pacing in the dark room, her hands wrapped up in her hair, clutching handfuls. Shit. My heart felt like it was breaking as I stopped for a moment. She was in full-blown panic mode. Her heart was pounding faster than my own. Her breathing was rapid and ragged.

"Jenna? Honey? Are you okay?"

She didn't acknowledge my presence at all. I wasn't entirely sure she had heard me. Fuck, what should I do? Should I approach her? Would I scare her even more if she didn't realize I was in the room with her and I walked right up to her?

I took slow steps toward her, giving her plenty of time to notice me. I spoke softly as I moved. "Jenna, it was a dream. It's over now. It's never going to happen again. I'm not going to let anyone hurt you ever again. Do you understand? If anyone wants you, they'll have to come through me. And I'm one bad-ass motherfucker. No one will ever hurt you again."

I reached her. She had her back to me now. She had paused in her pacing, possibly sensing my presence behind her, but I wasn't going to bet on that. I kept up the reassuring speech as I stretched my hand out hesitantly, gently placing it on her back. Her muscles were tight already, but they tensed as soon as my hand landed on her.

"Shhh." I started rubbing the hand on her back in slow circles. "I'm not going to let anyone hurt you, Jenna. You're safe now."

Those words seemed to reach her. Suddenly she was spinning, throwing herself against my chest. The wolf inside me started doing a happy dance, celebrating the fact that his mate was voluntarily throwing herself into my arms. I stomped his ass down. This was not the time for that shit. Jenna needed comfort, not a fucking victory dance.

I wrapped my arms around her and started to slowly shuffle us toward the couch. I had a feeling this was going to take awhile, and she would be a lot more comfortable on the couch. She had her face buried in my chest and her arms wrapped tightly around me, but she seemed to understand what I was doing. She moved her feet along with mine as I maneuvered us around the couch. Then I sat down, pulling her down into my lap. She curled up like a small child.

My heart broke into even smaller pieces as I held her sobbing form. I had no idea what to do. My mate was a fucking mess and there was nothing I could do to make it better. All the hot chocolate in Willie Wonka's wet dreams couldn't fix this. The best I could do was hold her, stroke her hair, and continue to tell her that it would be okay. That wasn't anywhere near sufficient though. I felt tears slipping down my own cheeks as I pulled her closer to my chest. I had never in my life felt so helpless.

It felt like hours before she finally stopped crying. It was probably more like half an hour. Finally though, the sobs slowed down. Then they stopped altogether, to be replaced by gasping, stuttering breaths as Jenna tried to gain control of herself. My shirt was long past soaked, so I couldn't tell if she was still adding new tears to it. Her face was buried against my chest, preventing me from looking at her eyes to tell if she was still crying. That was probably a good thing though. I probably couldn't have kept myself from phasing if I had looked into her face when she was so distressed.

Eventually she managed to get her breathing under control too. It evened out to long, slow breaths. After a couple minutes I realized with a chuckle that she had fallen asleep. On top of me. The poor girl was so worn out she had fallen asleep where she was. She was going to be mortified when she woke up. If I chose to stay like this. I rested my cheek against her head, inhaling her scent deeply. It was so tempting to just stay like this. She felt so fucking good in my arms. And she smelled abso-fucking-lutely amazing.

I sighed as she relaxed just a bit more against me, slipping deeper into sleep. I tightened my arms around her as my eyes drifted closed. I couldn't put her back in her bed just yet. Just a few more minutes…

**

* * *

AN: May the Schwartz be with you. **

**If you haven't seen Space Balls, that will mean nothing to you. My favorite Mel Brooks film ever. I _have_ to watch it every time it's on TV. **

**And, a big fucking sorry for making you wait so long for this update. I was intentionally procrastinating. I knew all the shit I planned to include in this chapter, and I just wasn't relishing the idea of going back to that place in my life. I wasn't about to ruin Christmas with it. So I waited until after the Christmas fun was over with before allowing those memories to surface enough to write. Cause I can't just allow enough in for the little bit I show you guys…it all comes pouring in when I open that little steel door. Kinda like the ocean. It's also why I barely glanced at this chapter for editing purposes. High likelihood of spelling and grammar errors (and wrong word usage-you know 'their' vs 'there' etc) in this one.**


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

**AN: Sorry for the painfully short chapter. The muse, she has deserted me. She said something about going out for a beer or a pack of cigarettes or something and never came back. No, actually it's the fault of a demented little plot bunny that has hijacked my brain and won't let me work on anything serious. I know this chapter is about half length, but it's been a week since I updated and it came down to a choice between waiting another week or posting a short chapter. So here ya go!**

**Disclaimer: I told you already, were you not paying attention?**

**

* * *

Jenna POV**

Heat. So much heat. Why was it so fucking hot? I was sweating. And my pillow was moving. Up and down. Up and down. Up and down. What the hell? I cracked my eyes open slowly. My brain stuttered to a halt, too shocked to process anything that I was seeing.

My pillow had never had pectoral muscles before.

Or the need to breathe.

Or a damn fine set of abs.

Oh shit, I was splayed across Paul.

I tried to move myself off of him slowly so I wouldn't disturb him, but discovered that wasn't an option. He had an arm thrown around my waist, locking me down tighter than Fort Knox. As soon as I shifted my weight off of him the slightest bit his grip tightened, slamming my face down against his chest once again. Hmm, this really wasn't a _bad_ position to be in. What was I thinking? I couldn't still be lying on top of the boy when he woke up. I'd never be able to look him in the eye again.

But how was I supposed to get away from him without waking him up? He was holding me too tightly for me to just slip away. For me to get out of his grip, I would have to wiggle enough to wake him up. And now my bladder was making its presence known, adding a little urgency to my situation. And to make matters just that much more embarrassing, Paul was apparently having some very good dreams. I should know, since I was positioned to feel just how _happy_ he was.

_Kill me now._

I closed my eyes. How was I going to get out of this gracefully? I wiggled just a bit, hoping that his grip would have relaxed enough for me to slip away. No such luck. And my movements had an unintended consequence, as he became even _happier._ _Shit._ I felt my face burning with embarrassment. I opened my eyes and glanced up at his face. He looked relaxed, but there was the smallest tilt to his lips. I narrowed my eyes.

"Dammit, if you're awake, Paul, you'd better let me go right now before I pee on you," I whispered quietly.

Abruptly, his arm was no longer around my waist. Now I was being lifted off of him and set on my feet.

I glared down at him as he sent me a grin, his eyes still closed.

"You're a bastard."

He chuckled. "Thought you had to pee."

I started walking toward the bathroom. "Well if I didn't, I'd stay and beat the shit out of you for embarrassing me like that."

By the time I was finished in the bathroom, Anderson was awake and winding himself up for a tantrum. He gave me a few more seconds to lose my blush as I changed his diaper. Then I had to face Paul again. Because the bottles and baby cereal were in the kitchen, and I had a feeling that's where I would find Paul.

I really didn't want to go into that room though. The night before was the worst since I had arrived here. I'd had worse before of course, but not for a very long time. This shit had to stop. I could not keep disturbing Paul night after night with my issues. Besides, I thought I was past this point. Damn John for throwing me back into this hellhole. Why had he felt the need to tell me that he knew anyway? He could have prevented all of this by keeping his big mouth shut.

"Bababababababa," Anderson demanded with a cranky tone.

Fine. I would go into the kitchen. I would face Paul. He would probably look at me with that same pitying expression John had used. Now I would have to avoid him too. That was really going to suck once school started up again. If I was avoiding Paul, that meant I wouldn't get to see all of the others either, outside of class.

"Morning, Sunshine," Paul greeted me, holding out a prepared bottle. My eyes flitted up to his, ready to dart away at the first sign of pity. But there wasn't any. I felt an involuntary smile of relief creeping across my lips.

Anderson lunged. Thankfully Paul had quick reflexes because I hadn't been expecting the move at all, although I should have instead of allowing myself to be distracted. My son loved food. Of course he would throw himself toward the person holding it. Paul scooped up the flying baby like it was a choreographed move, settling him against one hip. Anderson grabbed the bottle with both hands and jammed it into his mouth with a happy grunt.

"Thanks."

"Thank me with food," Paul replied, a grin stretched across his face.

I rolled my eyes. No wonder those two got along so well. They held the same priorities. "Now I see why you're feeding him. To free up my hands for cooking."

For a second there I thought I saw hurt flash through his eyes, but then Paul was grinning at me. So it had to be my imagination. "It's called teamwork, Jenna. Didn't you ever play sports?"

I snorted as I began pulling out eggs and bacon. "Do I look like the softball type of girl?"

I shook my head as I began cracking eggs. "Sports would have gotten in the way of all the partying. Besides, you had to be able to pass the drug testing."

He grunted. I glanced over at him to see that the grin had slid from his face. He was gazing down at my son with a sad expression on his face. What was he thinking about? Was he worrying about the effect my old lifestyle had on my son?

"We ran all the tests we could on him as soon as he was born," I said, my voice barely making it out of my suddenly tight throat. "They all came back normal. But the doctors said there's no way to test his IQ. He could be…slow…because of me."

I felt a tear slip down my cheek. "There's just no way to know until he gets older. I'll have to watch his milestones, but not too closely. Every child develops at a different rate at this age. It's when he's in school that it would really affect him. Reading. Test scores. That kind of thing. So another five years at least before I know the extent of the damage I've done."

My vision was completely obscured by tears now. I could see a large blob of movement though, so I wasn't surprised when a warm arm slipped around me, pulling me into Paul's chest. He rubbed my back gently.

"Shhh. He'll be fine, Honey. Everything will be fine. It's okay, Baby."

I couldn't resist the comfort he offered. Not after the last few nights. My arms found their way around his waist, squeezing me up closer to him. I buried my face into him. For the first time since Anderson had been born, I allowed myself to release all of the guilt and pain I felt over the future I may or may not have condemned my son to. The fear of the possibility alone was crippling, it was eating at me constantly. I let the fear take over long enough to cry it all out. And Paul stood there like a trooper, taking it all. He didn't ask questions. He didn't panic at the sight of tears. He just continued to rub my back, murmuring reassurances, holding me close.

Eventually a sense of calm started to replace the fear and sadness. I started to listen to Paul's words.

"...If he has trouble with anything, we'll help him. We'll help him with his homework every night. All the way through high school and college. Hell, we'll hire a tutor if we need to, just like in that football movie. Blind Side. We'll get him his own private tutor and make damn sure he gets all the help he needs to know just as much or more than everyone else in his class. He'll be the fucking Valedictorian."

I smiled against his chest. How long had he been rambling on like this?

"He'll get a scholarship to fucking Harvard. They'll be begging him to go to their school because he'll be the smartest fucking kid in the U.S. And he'll turn them down. He won't want to go to that snobby-ass school. He'll pick something close to home. Cause he'll want to be able to come home on the weekends to have his Mama's kick-ass lasagna."

I snorted, finally looking up at Paul. "More like he'll want me to do his laundry."

"Well yeah, but he'll want the food too." His voice was light-hearted, but his eyes were completely serious as they studied my face. "It'll be okay, Jenna. Anderson is fine. I can feel it. And if by some chance he's a little different than the other kids, we'll deal with that. We'll still love him and we'll work out a plan to make his life as normal as possible."

There he went again, making it sound like he expected to be in my son's life permanently, and not in a friend of the family role either. Cuddled up against him though, his arm still wrapped around me, I couldn't make myself react to his presumption. I could deal with that later. At some point Paul and I would have to sit down and discuss exactly what he thought our relationship was and where it was going. And I would have to make sure I had some time away from him to get my head on straight before that little discussion. Because really, at this point I didn't even know. I was too muddled from his presence. I couldn't seem to think straight when Paul was near. Problem was, Paul always seemed to be around lately.

Paul's stomach chose that moment to growl, loudly. Or maybe it seemed loud because I was still pressed up against his chest. I giggled as I pulled away from him.

"I think your stomach is trying to tell me something."

He grinned in return. "I believe that was something along the lines of: where's the food, Woman?"

I picked up the spatula and waved it threateningly in his direction, narrowing my eyes. "Tell that stomach of yours to watch the disrespectful tone or it'll be going on a diet."

He saluted with his free hand as Anderson sent me a little grin. "Yes, Ma'am."

**

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AN: To InYourShadowICanShine thanks for the lovely review. There was no reply link so this was the only way to reply. You did an excellent job communicating your point, even if English isn't your first language! I know a smidgen of Spanish (should know much more after all the classes I had to take in High School and College) and any review I had to do in Spanish would make no sense at all. I have every intention of continuing this story. I hate when writers quit half-way through a story. It may take awhile, and I might have to fight through some bits, but I will fight my hardest to get this thing finished! Oh, and I have finished a Twilight story and a couple Firefly stories; if you want to take a peak you can find them on my profile page. **

**To all my pretties...ahem, reviewers: You all rock. You have no idea how often I look back at those reviews to help me through my incredibly stressful life. They are a fantabulous pick me up! And they help quite a bit when I have writer's block too. So please, ask any and all questions you can think of. Make observations, conjectures, wild-ass guesses. They really do help break apart that big ole' block between my creative side and the keyboard. But don't worry, I'll still write even if you don't review. :)**


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

**Disclaimer: I own Rock Band 1, 2 & 3 (and I can now kick ass on the guitar on Hard!) but I do not own the Twilight franchise. **

**

* * *

PPOV**

Sitting through my morning classes had never felt so much like torture. The winter break had spoiled me. I was used to seeing Jenna almost constantly. Especially after John went back to Seattle early and her nightmares got so bad. Sam had taken pity on me. He'd given me a little break from the patrols, just for the week. I would have to start taking on my fair share again now that school had started back up. But for most of that one week, I had spent almost every second of every day close enough to hear her every heartbeat. Having so many walls, not to mention smelly and noisy students between us was driving me crazy.

So I was more than a little excited to see her when lunch came around. I just hadn't been expecting that anyone else would have the same reaction.

"Jenna!"

I had spotted her immediately of course, sitting at the usual table, containers of food all set out waiting for us already. The greeting had come from behind me though. Suddenly Collin darted past me, running between the tables and chairs, his brother hot on his heels. Instead of pulling out a chair, Collin ran around to Jenna, wrapped his arms around her, and pulled her out of the chair. He stood with her and proceeded to give her a giant bear hug.

That little motherfucker. How dare he wrap his arms around my Jenna. I felt the shaking start in my stomach and begin to spread. I pushed it back down though. I couldn't phase in the middle of the fucking cafeteria. _He's just happy to see her. It's a brotherly hug. That's all._

He set her down on her feet, dropping his arms away suddenly. I growled as she stumbled just a bit. Asshole almost made her fall down.

And then she was up in the air again as Brady repeated his brother's dumbass move. My teeth were clenched as I reached the table. What the hell did the two clowns think they were doing? Jenna patted Brady's shoulder with a confused expression, darting her eyes questioningly to mine. I was going to kill them both as soon as we were away from witnesses. The pack would be a little short for awhile, but surely a couple more kids would phase soon to take their place. And even if we didn't get replacements, did we even really need this many wolves? We never had more than one or two leeches come through at a time and at most that required four wolves.

"Put her down," I demanded.

Brady rolled his eyes, dropping her.

Again, she stumbled, but I was there to steady her with a hand on her arm.

"What's with all the PDA, Boys?" Jenna asked as she slid into her seat.

I sent them death glares as I took my place next to her.

Collin reached for a container of food as he answered. "We just missed you, Jenna. It's been weeks since we saw you!"

"You know where I live."

The brothers darted looks my way. "We didn't know we were invited."

Jenna responded with a dismayed noise. "You're always invited."

So I may have given them the impression that they weren't exactly welcome during the winter break. I only threatened the lives of anyone not named Jacob Black if they dared to interrupt my time with Jenna. And he only got a free pass because of the whole cousin thing. I had to protect my time with her though. If I hadn't forced them all to stay away, I never would have had any time to myself with her. Everyone loved her. It was obvious in the way their faces lit up as they all arrived for lunch. As soon as they saw her they smiled. If I hadn't made the preemptive strike, those fuckers would have been camped out in our kitchen the entire two weeks.

"Is there something wrong with the chicken?" Jenna asked, leaning toward Jake.

Now that I paid a little more attention to him, I could tell that he was acting a little strange. He was picking at his food, but not really eating it. Hell, if he wasn't hungry, I'd finish it for him. It would be a sin to waste Jenna's cooking.

Jake shrugged. "Chicken's good. I'm just worrying about Bella."

I rolled my eyes. Of course he was worrying about the leech lover. Stupid bitch was moping and depressed because the leech didn't love her anymore. Fuck, she should be thanking her lucky stars she made it out of that relationship alive, not crying because he dumped her lily-white ass.

"Charlie is really worried about her. He's talking about sending her to Florida to live with her mom. She fought back last time he mentioned it, but this time he might do it anyway."

I snorted. "That'd be the best place for her. Get her the fuck out of Dodge."

Then I'd never have to see or hear from her again. I could really use a life without Bella fucking Swan.

Jake glared at me. "No one asked for your opinion, Paul."

"I'm just generous like that."

"No, you're just an asshole and you've hated Bella since you learned who she was dating."

Jenna turned to look at me, her forehead marred with a deep frown line. Her gaze felt even heavier than Sam's when he pulled that Alpha shit on me. I couldn't stand to hold her gaze when she was looking at me with such a disappointed expression. I turned to my container of chicken and rice, angrily stabbing at the food with my fork. Stupid fucking Bella.

* * *

"Why do you hate Bella so much?"

Jenna's question surprised me. Not just the subject matter, but the fact that she was talking in class. Jenna _never_ spoke in class, unless she was answering a teacher's question. But there she was, leaning halfway across the aisle, giving me a perfect view of her cleavage. _I wonder if she even realizes when she leans that way it pushes her boobs together? _Of course not. Jenna probably didn't even realize her shirt had slipped down to reveal so much. She never wore revealing clothes. Damn my luck.

"Paul?"

Right, she asked a question. _Stop staring at her chest and answer the woman, Dumbass._ "She just gets on my nerves."

"And it has nothing to do with her ex-boyfriend?"

I scowled. Why did it matter? Seriously? Who cared why I hated the chick? "I don't know her ex-boyfriend. Never talked to the guy."

Not an outright lie. I knew _of_ the bloodsucker of course. But I could honestly say that I had never held a conversation with the prick. So hopefully Jenna would assume that I had no reason to dislike him.

"So why does Jake think you hate her because of her ex?" Jenna asked curiously.

I shrugged, keeping my eyes on the teacher in case he decided to turn. Jenna would be upset if she was caught talking in class. I doubted the Calculus teacher would turn around though. When he started on those equations, he really got into it. That man was insane. He actually loved math. Thought it was fun. He didn't understand why his students weren't as excited to do this shit as he was. He could spend the entire class period with his back to us, happily scribbling out the quadratic equation.

A soft gasp jerked my gaze to the side. Jenna was blushing and looking away, chewing on her lip. A wave of pain, sharp and fast, shot over the bond. What the fuck?

"What? What's going on?" I asked quietly, leaning toward her now as she settled back into her seat.

She shook her head. "It's nothing."

I frowned. "It's not nothing. What are you thinking?"

She glanced at me quickly, but her eyes shot away before I could read anything of use from them. "It's nothing. I swear."

"Jenna," I growled. "Tell me."

I was starting to garner attention from the students sitting around us, but I didn't care. Let them watch. Something was bothering Jenna. I had to fix it. I had to find out what it was and eradicate it.

The red in her cheeks brightened further as she glanced around at the people watching us from the corners of their eyes. She leaned in closer to me and spoke quietly. "Are you mad at Bella because she chose him over you?"

My jaw dropped.

She thought I was mad because I was jealous? Over Bella fucking Swan? I didn't even know that wolves were capable of being mad at their imprints. I mean, I knew Sam had hurt Emily and all. But I just thought he had been angry while she was too close. Not necessarily angry with her, just around her. But I was actually mad at Jenna. How could she think I would be jealous over that whiny, self-absorbed bitch? Could she not feel _anything_ over the imprint bond? Was I in this alone? I was in love with this girl and she seemed completely oblivious.

I clenched my teeth as I felt myself starting to shake. I would not phase in this classroom. I would not put my mate at risk. I would not expose the pack secret to the entire Calculus class, well except the teacher. He probably wouldn't notice, being wrapped up in his logarithms.

"No," I ground out between my teeth. "I have _never_ had any interest in her. I just feel like ripping her fucking head off after spending two consecutive minutes in her presence."

She watched me with doubtful eyes. That look was killing me. How could she believe that I would be interested in another girl? The shaking intensified. I could feel my bones trying to shift into a different form. With a groan I jumped to my feet. Abandoning my books, I rushed toward the door. I had to get out of the room, out of the school. I might make it to the forest behind the school if I ran as soon as I got out of the room.

Mr. Clark turned as I rushed for the door. "Class isn't over, Mr. Meraz. Sit down."

"Fuck off," I growled, shoving the door open.

**

* * *

Jenna POV**

I stared at the empty doorway, shocked. I hadn't seen Paul that angry in weeks, possibly months. What had set him off? It couldn't be my question, could it? It seemed like such a harmless question. If he didn't like her, all he had to do was say so. Unless I had hit a nerve. Maybe he really had liked her, more than he had been willing to admit even to himself. My question may have dredged up feelings that he had kept buried.

I pulled my gaze away from the doorway only to realize that almost every eye in the room was on me. The only person not staring at me now was the teacher. He was frowning at the empty desk.

Thankfully the teacher called everyone's attention back to the front. They still glanced back at me repeatedly, but I didn't have the weight of the entire class's eyes on me any longer. Even knowing that my every move was being catalogued for gossiping purposes, I couldn't help but look over at Paul's empty chair every few seconds. My stomach knotted the longer he stayed gone. Guilt started to eat at me.

I shouldn't have said anything. Why did I care about the reason Paul didn't like Bella? I didn't even know Bella. He was allowed to dislike someone I didn't even know. She could be an awful person. Just because my cousin was infatuated with her didn't mean she was a wonderful person who Paul should also admire. Maybe Paul was right and she was truly horrible. Jake might be the one who was wrong about her. Hell, they could both be right. Nobody said everybody had to like everybody else. She could be a perfectly lovely person and Paul was still allowed to dislike her. This was America after all.

I was so consumed by my thoughts, when the bell rang I jumped. Several people around me snickered. I felt my cheeks heating up as I gathered my things. Paul still hadn't returned, so I grabbed his things too. I could throw them in my locker. If he didn't come back before the end of the day I would just take them home with me. Hopefully he would be willing to explain the day's lesson to me, because I hadn't absorbed any of it.

Paul's seat in English was empty when the bell rang. I could feel Jake's eyes on me all through the class. But I made myself tune him out as the teacher lectured and then handed out the assignment. This was one class where I knew I could handle the work on my own, when not distracted. I had already let distractions waste one class period and I would be spending all evening trying to catch up because of it. There was no reason to add to my homework load by turning to find out what Jake wanted.

He was at my side almost as soon as the bell finished ringing. "Where's Paul?"

I couldn't meet his eyes. It was all my fault Paul left after all. "He left during Calculus."

"Why? Did Sam call?"

"No." I hitched my bag onto my shoulder, glancing around. I don't know what I was looking for. It wasn't like any of the students were going to save me from Jake. They were all scared of my giant friends. "I guess you could say we had a little disagreement."

His sharp intake of breath startled me. I looked up to see him frantically looking me over. "Are you okay? Did he hurt you?"

Whoa. Did he think Paul would actually hit me? Did he have so little faith in his friend? Or did Paul have a history of hitting girls? No, I couldn't believe that. Not Paul. Sure, he would tear into a guy with no remorse. But I couldn't imagine him hitting a woman or child.

"Of course he didn't hurt me. Don't be stupid. He just left."

"Oh." Jake narrowed his eyes, still looking me over. "What were you two fighting about?"

Shit. What should I say? How would Jake react if he knew the truth? Damn, I wasn't a fast enough liar. "We were just talking about the same stuff from lunch. It wasn't really a fight anyway. He was just mad and he left. I really don't know what I said that got him so mad."

"You were talking about Bella?" Jake snorted. "Of course he was mad. He hates her. He's always an asshole when someone mentions Bella. He's always hated her."

Didn't they always say that there was a thin line between love and hate? So which was it really? How did Paul truly feel about Bella? And when the hell would I get over this crush already so I could stop obsessing over this shit?

Jake nudged me toward the door. "Come on. We're gonna be late for our next class."

* * *

I entered the house slowly, almost nervously. Would Paul still be angry with me? Or would he sulk?

Emily walked out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on a towel. "Hey, how was school?"

"Um, it was school. Is Paul home yet?"

She shook her head, a small frown marring her perpetual cheerfulness. "Didn't he give you a ride home?"

"Jake did. Paul left early."

"Oh. No, Paul hasn't been home yet. Did Sam need him for something?" She asked carefully, the slightest bit of worry in her tone.

"No."

Emily stepped closer, concern replacing the frown. "Is everything okay?"

I dropped my backpack as I collapsed on the couch. "I don't know. I think I might have really screwed things up with Paul today. I made him so mad he got up and left in the middle of class. And he never came back. What if he never wants to talk to me again? This might sound weird, but I think he's become my best friend. What if he doesn't come back?"

Emily sat beside me, pulling me into a hug. "Shh. Everything will be fine. Paul just needed to blow off some steam. He gets like that sometimes. Once it's out of his system, he'll be ready to talk to you again. I bet he'll be home as soon as he gets hungry."

I couldn't help but chuckle. That did sound like Paul. He would probably still be angry too, but his stomach would overrule his anger.

After a few more generic reassuring words, Emily left to prepare food for the lunch crowd. She invited me over for dinner, like usual, but like I always, I turned her down. I wasn't in the mood to put up with the boisterous crowd, not after the scene with Paul. Besides, what if he came home and I wasn't here? _You do realize just how pathetic that thought was, right?_ I couldn't help it though. I wanted to fix whatever the hell had gone wrong with Paul that afternoon. If he would just drag his ass home already.

I worked on homework for awhile, finishing everything except the Calculus that I had no hope of working correctly without Paul's help. Then I played with my son for awhile. There was a little laundry to do. Then I worked on dinner. Since he still wasn't home I put together a casserole that could stay in the oven for awhile. Then I settled on the floor with Anderson again. He wasn't quite crawling yet, but he was getting close. He was at the stage where he was up on hands and knees, rocking back and forth. So I liked to spend as much time as possible on the floor with him, giving him time to practice.

"Hey." A husky voice said softly from behind me.

I looked over my shoulder to see Paul standing by the front door. He'd come in so quietly I hadn't even heard him. My heart immediately kicked into overdrive as I scrambled to my feet. Was he ready to forgive me? He didn't look mad anymore. In fact, he looked kind of sad, depressed almost.

"Hi," I replied shyly. It was the best I could come up with. My mind was flying in too many different directions.

We stared at each other for a long moment. Okay, this was just ridiculous.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry."

Apparently he'd come to the same conclusion, because he spoke at the same time. Some of the tension melted away at the coincidence. I sent him a small grin. He returned it, but the smile didn't reach his eyes. My heart hurt just looking at him.

"I'm sorry," I said again. "I shouldn't have kept pushing you. It doesn't matter why you don't like her and I have no business pestering you about it."

He lowered both eyebrows. "Of course you do. You can ask me anything, Jenna. I reacted like an idiot. I shouldn't have gotten mad like that. Can you forgive me?"

"There's nothing to forgive, Paul. I was pushing you. Of course you were going to snap. I should know better."

"Dammit! No!" Paul took a few steps into the living room, stopping several feet from me. "Don't let anyone treat you badly, Jenna. Especially not me. I don't get a special pass to be an asshole. I was being stupid and there is no excuse."

I crossed my arms, raising an eyebrow. "Fine, but I don't get a special bitch license either. I shouldn't have kept asking."

We stared at each other for a long moment. I could feel my temper rising. He was being so stupid, taking all the blame on himself like that. Yeah, okay, he shouldn't have stormed out of the class like a diva. That was a little over the top. If I had just closed my mouth after the first time he answered my question though, or the second or third even, then he never would have gotten to that point. But no, I couldn't let it drop.

Paul's lip twitched. "Bitch license? Does that have a picture on it and everything?"

"And the back has a diagram, showing the proper bitch slap form." I tried to keep a straight face as I responded but ended up grinning.

Paul's little smirk finally made an appearance, and it even reached his eyes. I felt all the tension melting from my body as he turned the full power of that smirk on me. "So, what's for dinner? It smells fucking awesome."

**

* * *

AN: So, I'm supposed to go to Seattle on business Monday. Then home again at the end of the week, only to prepare for my kid's birthday party. Which means unless I find time in my busy house cleaning weekend schedule before I leave on the trip, I probably won't update again until sometime after the birthday party. I'll have a laptop with me, but I won't get to do anything fun with it *pouts*. I'll have to work on a DAU class in the evenings after my 8 hour meetings. Those are college type classes for my job, and the one I'm about to start is supposed to be a real ass kicker. I'm not even allowed to check my non-work email on the laptop. So I won't even be able to see all my lovely reviews until I get back. The work computer blocks all non-approved websites. How much does that suck? A whole hell of a lot, that how much. **


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

**AN: Sorry for the long wait. Work and all that. I did enjoy Seattle though. Beautiful area and perfect weather for me. If only I could convince my sun-loving hubby, I'd move up there in a heart-beat. **

**Disclaimer: I grabbed up all of Stephenie's characters that I wanted and I'm runnin' like Hell. I'm not gonna give 'em back till I'm through playin' with 'em. Catch me if you can, Steph!**

**

* * *

Jenna POV**

I glanced from Paul's white-knuckled grip on the steering wheel to the barrage of rain obscuring his view of the road. The visibility was so bad we could only see a couple of feet past the hood of the car. My stomach knotted up as I realized that I couldn't even see the road. Were we even on the road still? How did Paul know where he was going if we couldn't see two feet past the hood ornament? I would ask him, but then I might distract him. I certainly didn't want to do that.

My stomach lurched as the car abruptly turned.

"Sorry," Paul muttered. "Almost didn't see the driveway."

"That's okay," I replied quietly. Hell, I would have put us in the ditch five feet from the school parking lot. He had nothing to apologize for.

Paul grunted unhappily as he put the car in park. I glanced his way curiously. What was he upset about now? We were home safely, weren't we?

He must have sensed my eyes on him, because he turned to look at me. "Looks like the power's out again."

I looked at the porch, which I could barely see from the car. With the heavy gloom from the dark clouds and pouring rain, the porch lights should have come on. But there was no light. And there was no light shining from the living room windows. Emily had the curtains open wide to allow in what light she could. Great.

Paul sighed. "I'll get a fire started if Emily hasn't done it yet."

I started to open my door, resigned to getting soaked on my run from the car to the house. Suddenly, Paul dived across my lap, grabbing the door handle and yanking the door closed. I turned to him in shock. What the hell was he doing? Before I could ask though, a truck pulled up next to us, right where I would have been if I had gotten out of the car.

I turned to thank Paul, but I was met with his slamming door. I grabbed my bag, but couldn't open my door until Sam moved and closed his truck door. I jumped out of the car as soon as I could. The scene that met me was shocking. I knew Paul had a temper but I had never expected him to unleash it on Sam. I stood between my car and Sam's truck, oblivious to the rain soaking through my clothes. Paul was inches from Sam's face, his whole body shaking as he yelled into the older man's face.

"You could have killed her! You need to watch where the fuck you're going!"

Sam held his hands up, trying to calm Paul. "I'm sorry, Paul, I didn't know she was getting out of the car."

Paul threw his hands up. "So she was going to spend the night in the car? Are you fucking retarded? Of course she was getting out. We just got home. You were right behind us! What did you expect to happen?"

Paul was shaking so hard it looked like he was having a seizure or something. I shivered as a particularly hard gust of wind threw the rain against me. I wiped my now thoroughly soaked hair away from my face and stepped forward. I had to do something about Paul before he did something he would regret. Sam was his friend. Sure, Sam had to know all about Paul's temper, and would probably even forgive him if Paul lost his temper and started pounding on Sam. But why let it get to that point?

Sam shot me an anxious look as I stepped closer. He shook his head, warning me to stay back probably. Did he think Paul would hurt me? What was with Jake and Sam? Did they have no faith in their friend? He would never hurt a girl. They should know better. I stubbornly raised my chin, stepping forward confidently. Reaching out, I placed my hand on Paul's vibrating shoulder. Was he shaking from the cold of being wet or from the effort it was taking to hold himself back?

He jumped at the contact. He turned to me with wide eyes, an almost scared look in them.

"Paul, let's go on inside." I urged softly.

"You go on, I've got something to settle with Sam first," His voice was deeper than usual, with a soft growl of aggression to it. To tell the truth it was the hottest fucking thing I had ever heard.

I slid my hand down his arm and into his palm, interweaving my fingers through his. Tugging gently, I tried to pull him toward the porch. "It was an honest mistake, Paul. And you were there to save me. Come on. Let's get into some dry clothes and get prepared for a night without power, before it gets too dark to see."

He was still glaring daggers at Sam, but the shaking had lessened. There wasn't as much tension in his shoulders. He was on the verge of backing down now, if I could just get him to back away everything would be okay.

"Please, Paul," I pleaded quietly. I didn't know how I knew, but I knew that he would respond if I appealed to him with the right words. "I need your help inside."

His fingers tightened on mine as the shaking abruptly stopped. He turned to look at me, taking in my appearance for the first time since we had arrived at home. "Fuck. You're soaked. We gotta get you inside before you get sick."

It was like he forgot all about Sam being there as he started gently pulling me toward the house. He ushered me up the steps of the porch. Only when we were under the porch and out of the rain did he turn back to Sam, who was still standing in the rain.

"I'll send Emily out to you," His voice lacked the usual warmth that it held when he spoke with his 'brothers'. _Wonder how long it will take him to forgive Sam. It's not like Sam was aiming for me or anything. He should just get over it already._

Emily had a warm fire going already. A nice hot shower would have done wonders for me. But I had to settle for drying off and changing into a pair of thick sweats instead. I didn't even have the ability to dry my hair. I had to squeeze as much water out as I could with the towel. As soon as I got back to the living room, I sat as close as I safely could to the fireplace to comb out my damp hair. Hopefully the heat would dry it more quickly.

Without the benefit of electricity, the evening seemed to stretch on and on. We ate a simple dinner, wrapping chicken and potatoes in foil and cooking them in the fireplace. We worked as much of our homework as we could by the light of the fireplace, but eventually the flickering lights began to give me a headache. I just couldn't work math homework by firelight, even with Paul's help. So when Anderson fell asleep, I called it an early night, curling up around him on the pull-out sofa bed.

I woke from another nightmare to the feel of warm hands smoothing hair away from my face. "Shh, it was just a bad dream."

Paul was sitting on the sofa mattress next to me. He ran his hand in soothing circles on my back. The dream had been one of the bad ones, relatively speaking. I was still so shaken up by it, I couldn't resist the comfort he was offering. I threw myself into his chest, shaking with silent sobs. Paul wrapped his arms around me, surrounding me with warmth. He rubbed my back gently as he murmured reassurances.

* * *

I was so incredibly comfortable. I had never felt this peaceful. I was a little too warm, but other than that, I could stay like this forever. Seriously, the past few hours of sleep may have been the best I'd ever had. Sighing, I snuggled into the bed. There was an answering sigh. What the fuck? I cracked my eyes open. Shit. I was cuddling up to Paul. This was becoming a nasty habit.

I eyed him. Had he realized the position we were in? If not I might be able to get myself out of this embarrassing situation before he ever realized. He appeared to be really asleep this time. He had a relaxed look to his face that I never saw when he was awake. He looked more at peace than I had ever seen before. Content. I felt myself smiling in response.

His eyes cracked open. My cheeks heated up in mortification. He'd caught me staring at him while he slept, grinning like a fool. _Can I just be struck dead now, please?_

His lips pulled into a lazy grin. "Morning."

"Uhm. Yeah." I was desperately searching my brain for a ready excuse to get the fuck out of his arms gracefully, but I was coming up blank. Then my son came to the rescue. He let out the loudest, angriest cry ever. From the sound of it, he was hungry and he wanted food now, dammit.

I glanced over my shoulder to see him lying behind me, his face bright red as he took a breath to tell us all about his displeasure with another yell.

"I think the little guy is hungry." Paul said with a chuckle.

"Sounds that way." I pulled away from Paul, trying to extricate myself from his arms.

He had a firm grip around my waist, and our legs were interlocked too. I thought I heard a little sound of disappointment as he let me go, but when I glanced his way his face was clear of any traces of the emotion. He rolled off the bed, stretching as he stood. My gaze wandered down his body, getting stuck on his abs. He had the finest body I had ever seen. Anderson's cry yanked me out of my daze. Shaking my head, I pushed myself off the bed and grabbed my son. He quieted a bit as I went about our morning routine of getting his clean diaper. But he could have screamed his head off and not disrupted my thoughts. I couldn't stop thinking about how good it had felt to wake up in Paul's arms, or how well I had rested there.

* * *

My thoughts were distracted all throughout the school day. I had trouble paying attention in class. And it was all Paul's fault. Okay, so it wasn't his fault. It was my fault. But it was so much easier to blame him instead of taking control of my own thoughts. I just couldn't seem to get my mind to focus on any subject that wasn't related to the way his body moved, or the way his voice seemed to make my body heat up a few degrees. I would beat my head against the desk if it wouldn't draw attention to myself. I didn't _want_ to be so obsessed with Paul.

I was so torn over the internal struggle, I hardly spoke during lunch. It didn't help that Paul was right there beside me. It was almost like I could feel his presence every time he was near me. That damn Paul GPS unit was still fully functioning only now there was also some kind of electric current passing back and forth between us. My skin actually heated up when he filled the seat next to mine. It was an immediate, involuntary reaction to his presence. I flicked my eyes up and down the table, hoping no one could see an outward reaction in me. No one was looking at me funny though.

It was hard to resist the urge to squirm as Paul settled in his seat next to me in our next class. I had a feeling the afternoon classes would be even more difficult than the morning classes had been. After all, Paul was in most of my afternoon classes. If I couldn't stop thinking about him when he wasn't anywhere to be seen, I had no hope of ignoring him when I could see him from the corner of my eye.

It was a relief when the last bell of the day rang, releasing us from another day of school. I walked the halls toward my locker, where I could see Paul already waiting for me. I could feel a few eyes on me as I approached him. Most of the school had grown tired of gossiping about us. When he first moved into John's house the school halls had been filled with whispers about us. It hadn't taken very long at all for the entire school to know about my son. Everyone believed that Paul was his father. I knew it was pointless to fight the rumors, that the more I protested the more they would believe. It bothered me though that Paul was being sucked into my fucked up life, but he had never given any indication that he was bothered by any of it.

He sent me an easy grin as I came up to my locker. "Emily says the power is back on at the house."

I gave him a smile, hoping it didn't reflect any of the angst I had felt all day. "That's good."

His brow furrowed. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Let's get going."

* * *

I frowned, glancing toward Paul. He was watching TV, not paying any attention to the conversation I was having with John.

"Come again?"

"She needs some friends right now, Jenna. Charlie says she's just sitting in her room all day, every day. That piece of trash ex-boyfriend of hers left her to die in the woods months ago and she still hasn't recovered."

I chewed on my lip. Was it really a good idea to have Bella hanging around? Paul hated her. Could he hold his tongue and his temper around her?

"I don't know that I could help, John." I replied hesitantly. I couldn't just out-right tell my uncle no. He'd done so much for me, how could I deny him anything?

"Jenna," He spoke quietly, "you know what it's like to go through something traumatic. You've managed to turn your life around. A lot of people would have given up after living through what you've lived through. They would have let it destroy the rest of their lives. But you haven't done that. I think you could really help this girl. You could be an inspiration."

I rolled my eyes. He was making me out to be some kind of motivational speaker. That was never going to happen. I was not going to take this Bella chick under my arm to lead her down the yellow-brick road of self-healing. But fine, if she needed a place to crash in the afternoons to get her father off her back, I could provide that.

"Okay, fine. You tell Charlie that she can hang out over here."

Paul's head whipped around, a fierce scowl on his face. He shook his head back and forth. I shrugged as John thanked me profusely before hanging up. Paul crossed his arms as I placed the phone back on the base.

"Dammit, why'd you say Bella can come here?"

I collapsed back against the couch cushions. "What'd you want me to do, Paul? John took me in when I had nowhere else to go. If not for him I'd be back in foster care right now and someone else would be raising my son. How could I tell him no? According to John the girl is practically catatonic right now. So she'll just sit on the couch and stare off into space. No big deal."

He shook his head. "You'll see, that girl is a magnet for trouble."

**

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AN: Sorry about the short chapter. Having a hard time writing for some reason. I knew what I wanted to happen when I sat down to write...this ain't exactly it. But it's close enough. It kept going off in strange tangents that even I didn't expect. Odd. **


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

**AN: To answer the understandable confusion about time line and where this falls in the Twilight books: This is an AU New Moon-ish time line, with all the wolves having already phased before the book began. Jenna came in at the beginning of the book. We're loosely following the time line of that book, _very_ loosely. Also, it is quite possible that I will get very non-canon on your ass with Bella's relationships from here on out. To be completely honest, I haven't made up my mind about that. So feel free to give me suggestions in that area.**

**Disclaimer: Until Steph catches up with me and pries them out of my cold dead fingers, I say these characters are mine to do with as I please! *Cue evil laugh***

***Cough-clearing the evil from throat* Okay, okay…so they aren't technically mine.**

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* * *

Jenna POV**

Jake slid into the seat next to be with a giant-ass grin. "Hey, how's it goin'?"

I couldn't help but smile in response. That smile of his could have a person off of suicide watch and singing show tunes within half an hour. "What are you so happy about?"

If possible, his smile actually widened as he bumped his shoulder against mine. "A little birdie told me that Charlie is going to try to convince Bella to start spending some time down here."

Half the table groaned.

Seth looked around in confusion. "What? Why is that a bad thing? She doesn't seem so bad."

Quil threw his roll at Seth's head. _He must really be upset if he's wasting food._ I surveyed everyone's face quickly, trying to get a feel for where they all stood on the Bella issue. Kim was the only neutral territory that I could see. Seth was the only person besides Jake who seemed to like Bella. What was so bad about her? What had she done to all of the guys to make them all hate her so much?

And how did Jake find out? I glanced over at Paul. He was glaring at his casserole, stabbing his fork into it. He was eating the thing like it had mortally offended him and by consuming it he was exacting his revenge. I had to fight off a grin. He would only grow angrier if he saw me laughing at him.

I doubted Paul told Jake. He wasn't exactly thrilled with the whole Bella conversation I'd had with John the night before. I couldn't imagine him running straight to Jake to gossip about the situation. He knew Jake would be the last person to offer a sympathetic ear. No. Jake had to have found out another way. Perhaps John had called Billy after our conversation.

"Come on guys, she's hurting. She needs some friends right now."

Embry snorted. "Why doesn't she call the Cullens? Thought they were the best of friends."

The anger in Embry's voice startled me. He was always such a happy, non-judgmental person. I had never seen him so bitter before. What _had_ Bella done to these guys?

Jake frowned at his friend. "Don't be like that. Besides, the Cullens are gone now. They left her. You guys remember how we found her that night. She's still in that condition. We gotta break her out of this."

"_We_ don't have to do anything," Paul grumbled from beside me.

Jake slammed his hand down on the table. I, along with everyone at five tables surrounding us, jumped. Paul slid his hand across my back in an attempt to soothe me, as he shot Jake a warning look.

Jake ignored him as he turned a glare on everyone at the table. He spoke quietly, his voice barely reaching my ears. "That girl has been through enough pain without a pack of jackasses adding to it."

_Wouldn't that be a herd of jackasses? Isn't that what a grouping of mules, or any livestock for that matter, is?, Isn't it a herd? _

"Jake," Paul's voice held an edge of warning. Did he really think Jake was going to get angry enough to hurt me?

Jake turned to Paul, shooting his eyes from Paul to me before rolling them. "Really? You're going to keep hiding like that? Pussy."

_What the hell is he talking about now?_

Jake turned his attention back to the others, speaking quietly but intensely. "You don't have to like her. You don't have to pretend to be her best fucking friend. But you will be respectful. You will be polite. You will even be nice. Do you understand?"

I stared at Jake in awe. I had never seen him like this. Sure, every so often he would get this Chieftain look about him as I liked to think of it and lay down the law. He'd say something in a voice that brooked no argument. And everyone would nod and obey willingly. They always played along like he was their leader. But now, now I _knew. _He really was their leader. Some of them were older than him, but they bowed their heads in submission, a look of shame on their faces.

They even verbally acknowledged him. "Yes's" and even a few "Yes, Sir's," drifted in from around the table. Paul grunted in response, ever the stubborn one.

The people at the tables closest to us couldn't hear what was going on at our table, but they could see that _something_ was happening. And they were damn curious. They were half standing, peering down at us, trying to figure us out. I glared at a few of them. _Mind your own fucking business._ Paul caught the direction of my gaze and helped me stare a few of them down. He even growled. _Damn that's a sexy sound._ I could imagine him making that sound in bed. _Down girl._

He turned to me with an upraised eyebrow, like he knew what I was thinking and enjoyed it. I gave him a blank look in return. Nothing to see here. No naughty thoughts going on here at all. No sir. After an eternity of staring into his dark eyes, he finally looked away. Blushing furiously, I turned away from him, anxiously darting my eyes around to make sure no one had noticed our little exchange. Everyone else at the table was looking away from us. It was like they were trying a little _too hard_ to look away. _Fuck, they _all _noticed._

* * *

I was thinking about calling it an early night. All of my homework was caught up. Anderson was fed, clean and dry. The dinner dishes were almost finished. Laundry could wait another day. Paul could keep himself company for one night. He was a big boy. Hell, Sam probably needed him.

The bitterness that accompanied that thought surprised me. My hands paused in scrubbing the pot as I contemplated the source of the emotion. Why should I care about what Paul did for Sam? He knew Sam long before he ever met me. They were friends. They were much closer friends than Paul and I were actually. So, I had no right to be jealous over the time he spent with Sam. And that's what this was about really, wasn't it? I was jealous.

The thought horrified me, but it was true. I was fucking jealous. Of Sam Uley's relationship with Paul. How ridiculous was that? I felt stupid just thinking it. I couldn't help it though. Paul and Jake were my closest friends, which was a sign that I needed to get out and find some girl friends. I needed to call up Leah and schedule a lunch date or something. We needed to go shopping again or out for coffee. Do anything. And fucking fast. My male cousin and my male roommate were my two closest friends. I didn't even have a girl friend that I could talk to.

Sure, I could talk to Emily, if I could catch the woman. She was always running out the door as soon as I got home from school. I understood why of course. My huge group of _male_ friends would be heading over to her house to eat her cupboards bare, so she had to rush home to make sure their feast was prepared. She always invited me over, but then I would only get sucked in to helping prepare, and I knew that I wouldn't be able to talk about anything with all the guys there.

I needed someone I could talk to about these confusing feelings I had for Paul. I doubted I could talk to Jake about them. He seemed like the type to be over-protective. I certainly couldn't talk to Paul about them. He would either freak out because I was having feelings for him, or get a big head, because I was having feelings for him. Either way, he clearly wasn't an option. Would Leah be open to a closer friendship?

"Hey, you okay?" Paul asked quietly, his voice filled with concern.

My stupid heart melted at the sound of his soft voice. I started scrubbing the pot again. "Uh, yeah. Just tired. I must have zoned out."

And I was tired. I had an awful time sleeping the night before. The nightmares had gotten so bad I had been tempted to seek Paul out. But I had chickened out at the last minute. I stood there, at the bathroom door, my hand inches from turning the handle. What if he turned me away? What if he thought I was offering something instead of merely seeking comfort? I had turned and rushed back to my own bed. I spent the rest of the night curled in a ball, my eyes glued to the clock.

A deep rumbling sound pulled my eyes to the window above the sink. An old red truck pulled up to the building out back. I watched in confusion as the driver's side opened and Jake hopped out, an excited grin plastered to his face. Since when did Jake have a truck? He'd been working on a tiny little car for as long as I had been here. The passenger side opened and a small teen-aged girl climbed out.

I studied her from the window, vaguely aware of Paul moving up behind me to do the same. Her dark hair hung in waves, obscuring her face. Her body was average, not skinny but not over-weight. She didn't appear athletic either. If she didn't start taking care of herself she was the type that would put on weight as she aged. Her arms were wrapped tightly across her middle, like she was holding her insides together. Her shoulders were slumped inward, her head tilted down. I tilted my head sideways as I considered her.

"She _is_ in a lot of pain," I whispered.

Paul grunted behind me before speaking. "Why do you say that?"

"I recognize it, from looking in a mirror. I wouldn't be at all surprised if she were hiding cut marks under those long sleeves."

Suddenly I was spinning, Paul's warm hands grasping my shoulders. Warm, concerned eyes searched mine. "What?"

I frowned up at him. What was he panicking about now?

He shook me a little. "Jenna, what did you just say?"

I shook my head, trying to understand what he was freaking out about. He must not have liked my inability to answer. His hands left my shoulders and grabbed my left wrist, pulling it up as he shoved my sleeve up to my elbow. I huffed as his eyes danced across my skin.

"I haven't done anything like that in years, Paul," I explained quietly.

His eyes were filled with sadness as he traced over old scars with a gentle finger. He lowered that arm and picked up the other, repeating the examination. His eyes moved back up to mine slowly. His lips didn't move, but they didn't have to. I could see the question swimming there along with the unshed tears. _Why?_

My mouth hung open. No one had ever cried for me before. Certainly never a boy. I had never expected one as big and strong as Paul to be crying over my pain. I didn't know how to react. Was this real? Why was he reacting like this?

He was waiting for an answer. I shrugged, pulling my sleeves down. "There are things in my past that I would like to leave there, Paul. Let's just say I was in a lot of pain and I didn't know how to deal with it. Before I discovered the numbing bliss of a shit-load of alcohol and drugs, I had cutting."

"You weren't trying to kill yourself?"

I couldn't meet his eyes, so I turned around, to look back out the window. Did he want the truth?

Huh, I guess it didn't matter if he wanted the truth or not. I found I couldn't lie to him. "I wasn't trying to kill myself every time."

I could hear him taking in a shaky breath. "But you did try?"

I nodded once, unable to answer past my tight throat. I scowled through the window as I saw Jake turning to look at the house with that bright as fuck grin. He was going to bring Bella to meet us now. He just had the best fucking timing didn't he?

I took a deep breath, preparing myself to play nice. I was used to hiding inner turmoil. I had gone through years of never letting people see the pain within. If I could do it then, I could do it now. Grabbing a glass, I filled it with water, then drank it quickly, hoping it would loosen my throat a bit.

Then I turned to Paul and sent him the biggest fake smile I could. "Looks like it's time to meet Bella."

**

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AN: Holy shit. I had no clue it was going to get all fucking angsty on us like that. I'm just as shocked as ya'll.**


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

**AN: In Paul's POV, because it has been too long since I've written anything of significant length in his POV. And because shit I didn't even intent to un-bury was resurrected when I last wrote in Jenna's POV. Seems Jenna likes to dig up some things I had no intention of sharing. LOL**

**Just fixin' a cute little error with this here update. Really shouldn't allow myself to update these things _after_ my meds that put me to sleep.  
**

**Disclaimer: I admit that I don't own any of the Twilight characters, just my OCs. I stole the Twilight ones. **

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* * *

PPOV**

I turned to follow Jenna, my body moving on automatic pilot. I was in shock. That was the only way to describe the numb feeling that coated me, making me feel like I was moving through Jello instead of air. It was hard to pull air into my lungs and push it back out again. My head was spinning. Sweat popped up on my forehead, but I wasn't hot. In fact, for the first time since I started phasing, I felt kind of chilly, clammy almost. Shit, I felt nauseous too.

_What if she had succeeded? Holy fuck, what if she had managed to actually kill herself?_ I felt like I was falling down a pit of black despair at the thought. A world without Jenna. The idea alone was pure Hell.

I frowned as she walked out of the backdoor, her son now planted firmly on her hip. Anger sparked to life as he sent me a little grin, just before the door closed behind her. If she had killed herself, that little boy would never have existed. Didn't she even consider that? Did she not think about the people that loved her? The people that she hadn't even met yet that would love her in the future?

My hands shook as I wrenched the door open and stomped out of the house. I had to finish the conversation with Jenna. Turning my eyes to Jake, I growled. "Couldn't you have picked a better fucking time?"

The grin on his face twisted into a confused frown. The small girl standing next to him looked up at me with surprise. This was the first time I had ever actually laid eyes on Bella. I didn't see what all the fucking fuss was about to tell the truth. She was a plain little thing. She had looked a lot more interesting in Jake's mind. _I guess what they say is true, beauty is in the eye of the beholder._

Jenna turned to me with a disapproving expression. She could get the fuck over it. This was important, dammit. We could play Fix the Leech-Lover some other day. I needed to know what the fuck was up with those scars on Jenna's arms. I needed to know how long ago she had last resorted to that. What drove her to that in the first place? I needed some fucking reassurance that she would never do it again. I wouldn't be able to rest until I knew that the girl holding my heart wasn't going to sneak away and off herself while I wasn't paying attention.

Jenna turned to Bella with a small smile and spoke in a reassuring voice. "Don't mind him. He's always a little grumpy."

The shaking moved up my hands to my shoulders. Is that what she thought of me? That I was always grumpy? I'd show her fucking grumpy. Jake slammed a hand on my shoulder.

"Paul, can you wheel this bike into the garage? Bella wants to fix these up. I figured we'd have less of a chance getting caught if we did it over here, since John is hardly ever home. And he never goes out to the back building any more."

I glared at him for a long moment. Asshole wasn't going to leave, was he? Fine. I'd unload the fucking motorcycles. Pieces of shit. They'd be over here for months working on the damn things. Jake would be in heaven. Bella Fucking Swan would probably be over here every damn day.

I could feel her eyes on me as I lifted the bike out of the truck, swinging it down to the ground effortlessly. _That's right, Leech-lover, I'm the big bad wolf and I could crush you._ But I couldn't even glare at her. I couldn't even look at her. Jake's little order from lunch the other day prevented me from being rude to her. Since I was so angry, there wasn't a chance that I would be anything but rude if I interacted with her, so my body wasn't even letting me acknowledge her. Which in itself was a bit rude, but not as bad as if I'd actually looked at her. Hell, he'd laid that fucking Alpha shit on so thick, if I hadn't already been in love with Jenna, I'd probably be licking the damn zombie girl's feet by now.

Sam was going to be pissed about the order when he learned about it. He didn't appreciate it when Jake pulled that Alpha shit on his pack. I took solace in that fact as I wheeled the bike into the unused portion of the building in John's back yard. Sam would surely tear into Jake for that little stunt. Sure, Alpha was Jake's rightful place. And Sam was willing to step down as soon as Jake was willing to take up the burden. The thing was, Jake wasn't willing to do that yet. And he admitted it. He didn't want to lead the pack yet. He didn't feel ready to take on that kind of responsibility. He didn't feel ready to have the weight of the whole fucking tribe on his shoulders. I couldn't blame him. I'd go fucking insane if I'd been in Sam's shoes. If I had been in Jake's I would have run for the hills the first night I realized that eventually I would have to take over the job.

But he kept pulling this shit. He enjoyed the perks of having the Alpha power without the burdens that came along with it. That shit wasn't fair to Sam. And it sure as Hell didn't make the rest of us respect Jake any. The kid had better find some maturity fast, if he ever wanted to lead my ass through anything other than Alpha commands. He was fun to hang with. Kid could whoop up on Call of Duty. And he was good at some leader-type things, like planning and organizing shit. But the way he was acting lately, he wasn't ready for the responsibilities that came along with the power. Especially not the way he kept moping after this Bella chick. She wasn't even his imprint. Couldn't he take a fucking hint? Move on already!

"What crawled up his ass?" I heard Jake ask quietly as I let the motorcycle fall against the wall.

I paused where I stood, listening for Jenna's answer. What was she going to say to her precious cousin? Would she complain about my shitty attitude? Was he going to lay another Alpha command on me, telling me how to act around my imprint now?

"Oh, we were about to watch a movie he's been wanting to see. It's no big deal." Damn. She lied so smoothly, if I hadn't known the real reason I was upset, even I would have believed her.

"We can always come back some other time," Bella's soft voice cut in.

_Yeah, Princess. Why don't you do that?_ After Jake's command, even thinking the spiteful thoughts sent a wave of pain through my head. Fucker.

I stomped out of the garage to see Jake pulling the second bike from the bed of the truck. Bella was standing beside him, shifting her weight back and forth from one foot to the other, her lower lip pulled between her teeth. Jenna's words from the kitchen came back to me. The girl did look like she was in a lot of pain. I glanced over at Jenna. She was watching me carefully.

We would most definitely finish our conversation later. I tried to relay the message with my eyes, but I wasn't sure if she caught it. Anderson was playing with her hair, tugging her head down. She might not have understood what I was trying to get across, not with the distraction Little Man was causing.

It didn't matter if she knew what was coming or not. We would still have the conversation as soon as possible. I turned to Jake as he set the bike on the ground. "These will take a lot of work."

Bella nodded anxiously. "I was told they're mostly scrap. But they are salvageable, right?"

Jake smiled at her. "Of course they are. Paul and I can get them running. Right, Paulie?"

I glared at him. I hated that nickname, and Jake knew that. And what the fuck? _I_ had to help them with the bikes? Since when? I thought this was Jake's little project to help him get closer to Bella, not me. I was as close as I wanted to be with Jake, thank you. Why the fuck did I have to stick around?

"I'm not really a mechanic," I replied, trying to get out of the mess.

"Don't get modest on me now," Jake said with a grin, his eyes sparkling with mischief. "Jenna was telling me just last week how you got her car running when it wouldn't start."

Pleasure burst through me, mixed with anger. Jenna was bragging on me. There was no better feeling. But Jake was trapping me. I wanted to tear his fucking head off. Hell, what was new about that?

"Bella, would you like a drink? We have soda, water, tea, whatever you'd like."

Pride filled me again as Jenna played the perfect hostess. No one would ever guess that just minutes ago we had been facing each other in the kitchen, tears filling both of our eyes. Well, it wouldn't take a genius to figure out that _I_ was upset. But Jenna appeared completely at ease. I could feel her turmoil of course, pouring over the bond that connected us. I wasn't sure how she could stand there, appearing so calm and graceful, smiling even, when I _knew_ the pain raging beneath the surface. I'd lose my fucking mind if I had to hide any emotion that was _that_ strong. I wanted to tell her to just let it out, stop hiding it, but I doubted she would appreciate me outing her like that. She'd probably never talk to me again if I clued Jake and Bella into what was going on inside her right now.

Bella's eyes flicked from the ground to Jenna's face and back down again. "No thank you."

Jake smiled down at Bella, like he was fucking proud of her for being capable of answering a simple question. I wanted to roll my eyes, snort, do something in response, but his fucking command wouldn't allow me to react. Instead, I stood there like a statue as Jake wheeled the motorcycle into the garage, with Bella following along behind him like a little lost puppy.

Jenna hitched Anderson up higher on her hip. He was probably getting too heavy for her. "Want me to take him?"

She shook her head. "I'm going to put him to bed."

I was ready to make my escape and follow her into the house when Jake popped his head out of the garage. "Hey, come on, Paul. Help me figure out what these bikes need."

Jenna sent me a sympathetic smile as she headed for the house.

"Come rescue me in a few minutes." I called out quietly to her retreating back.

She waved a hand in acknowledgement before disappearing through the doorway. She'd better not forget me. We still had a little conversation to finish tonight. I wasn't going to go to sleep until we had that talk. Anger flared through me as I spun on my heel to make my way toward the garage. Fucking Jake pulling me away from important matters. Those bikes were pieces of shit. They weren't worth repairing. And neither was Bella.

_Jenna wouldn't agree with that. She probably thinks everyone is worth repairing._ I gritted my teeth as I neared the doorway that would lead to the motorcycles and the danger-magnetic who was pulling me away from my mate. Jenna probably would think Bella was worthy of a little of my time. I supposed I could give her a few minutes. I would still run like hell of course when Jenna came out to rescue me. Hopefully she would have a good excuse for needing me in a few minutes.

Bella was perched on a stool, watching Jake with dull eyes. She looked like shit. That leech had really done a number on her. Of course, it was partly her own fault. If she had just stayed the hell away from the fucking monster instead of inviting it to share her fucking bed, perhaps she wouldn't feel like this. _Well let's hope Jenna doesn't run from the monster in her life, eh?_ My conscious nudged me, once again in Sam's voice.

But we weren't the same as the Cullens. Sure, we were straight from a fairy tale, but we protected people. The Cullens were dysfunctional predators. Their kind survived by eating people. Just because they were on Weight Watchers for the time being, didn't mean they were safe. I'd been around chicks when they were dieting. Those were some cranky-ass bitches. In my opinion, the Cullens were probably _more_ dangerous than a regular vampire. Have you ever put a cupcake in front of a person on a diet? That shit was _pulverized_. A person who had regular access to cupcakes had a chance of resisting, but a person who hadn't eaten sugar in a year? No, the Cullens' little variant-diet experiment was dangerous to every human they came into contact with. Bella was lucky she hadn't become her precious Eddie's midnight snack.

Jake motioned me over. Scowling, I moved over to the motorcycles. I had no clue what I was looking for and he knew it. Why the hell did he want me here? Was this some elaborate plan to get me to see Bella as a person? Fine. She was a person. A stupid-ass person.

Jake called out the names of parts we needed, which Bella noted. I stood around like a fucking lackey, handing him the tools he needed. At least I knew that much. I could tell a crescent wrench from a pair of pliers. But the longer I stood there, the more antsy I grew. Where the fuck was Jenna? Wasn't she supposed to be coming to get me? Maybe Anderson was having a hard time going down. Sometimes he fought sleep. But even on his worst nights, it was never more than an hour. And I'd been here for more than that. I glanced at the clock again.

Jake caught my look. "You got a hot date you're late for?"

I glared at him. What would get me out of here? "Just worried about Jenna. She wasn't feeling well earlier. I told her I'd help her with Anderson tonight."

He wouldn't have any idea if I was lying or not. He couldn't read my mind unless we were phased. He narrowed his eyes, probably trying to read my expression for any signs of dishonesty.

Bella glanced up at the clock before standing, wiping the seat of her jeans. "I should be getting home anyway. Charlie's probably wondering where his dinner is."

Jake sent me an unhappy look. I fought the urge to smirk at him. Like I cared if he was sad to see the bitch go. He had me trapped in here while my imprint was in the house. The need to find out the history surrounding the scars on Jenna's arms was clawing at my insides. It was slowly driving me insane. I had to get out of this garage and find her.

"Come on, Jake. I'll drop you off at your house," Bella offered quietly.

I gladly escaped as they headed for her truck. The house was quiet, too quiet. Where was Jenna? I had expected to find her watching TV, but she wasn't in the living room at all. Listening carefully I could make out two heartbeats in her room, both calm and steady. Opening her door carefully, I peaked in.

I sighed. Looked like I would not be having any more conversations with Jenna until the next day at the earliest. She was passed out on her bed, still fully clothed. It looked like she had made it as far as placing Anderson in his crib before laying out across her bed and falling asleep. She hadn't even taken the time to remove her shoes. Moving quietly, I slipped into her room. As carefully as I could, I untied her laces, pulling her shoes off her feet. Then I pulled her covers over her, so she wouldn't get cold. Turning off the light, I left her room.

As much as those scars of hers bothered me, I would not wake her up to discuss them. She needed her sleep more than I needed my answers.


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

**Disclaimer: Still just playing with the characters I stole from Steph's toybox. **

**

* * *

PPOV**

_ "I know you're trying to respect her privacy and all that, but…is she okay?" _

The worry pouring off of Embry was almost as strong as my own. He'd sensed my worry for Jenna, even if he didn't know why I was worried. I would have been jealous if the emotion hadn't been so overwhelmingly _brotherly_.

_"She's fine." _ I really hoped I wasn't lying to him.

But I didn't know that for a fact. Jenna and I still hadn't had a chance to have our little talk. Something always came up. She didn't have time to talk when we were getting ready for school, not while trying to get herself ready while taking care of Anderson. As the boy grew and became more mobile and vocal, he also became much more demanding on her time. And then she refused to talk about anything serious on the way to school, because she didn't want to be all depressed when she got there. And of course, Jake and Bella appeared at our house almost immediately as soon as school let out, so we had no privacy to talk about it in the evenings.

And Jake was still being a prick about needing my help working on those fucking motorcycles. He knew I had no fucking interest in those damn bikes. And I couldn't care less about Bella or her depression. She wouldn't even talk to me unless I pressed the issue, so I didn't see why he wanted me there.

_"You know Jake is just messing with you, right?"_ Embry butted in. _"He thinks it's funny to lock you in that garage with Bella every afternoon since you can't stand her."_

I snarled. Fucking bastard. I would kill him for taking me away from my imprint when there was serious, potentially life-threatening shit we still had to deal with.

Embry stumbled to a halt. _"What? Life-threatening? What exactly is going on?"_

I shook my head. Fuck. I'd been so careful to keep all this shit out of my head while I was phased. I turned on him, baring my teeth. _"You will keep that little slip between us. Do you understand? No one else is to know about this."_

_ "But you said life-threatening! That's some major shit. That sounds like something the pack should help with."_

_ I growled. "I will tear out your mother-fucking throat if you don't respect my mate's privacy in this, Embry."_

He backed up a step. _"Shit, Paul. Calm the fuck down. I'll keep my mouth shut."_

_ "And keep your thoughts to yourself."_ I warned.

Worry shot through him. _"I'll do the best I can."_

I jerked my head. _"We need to finish our route."_

The rest of the patrol was quiet. Embry's thoughts spun as he tried to harness his mind. My eyes narrowed as his mind repeatedly came back to the worry he had picked up off of me. Fuck, Jenna was going to be pissed if the whole pack started treating her differently just because I couldn't keep my fucking thoughts to myself. And because I had been too much of a pussy to tell her the truth, she was going to think that I had run right out and _told_ them.

_"Control your fucking thoughts,"_ I thought toward Embry with a growl.

His mind shifted toward the Jake/Bella situation. I rolled my eyes. Like I wanted to think about that any more than I had the past week.

_"So, do you think they could work out?"_ He asked conversationally.

I snorted. _"He didn't imprint on her."_

_ "Well no, but that doesn't mean everything, does it? The elders say imprinting is rare. Maybe no one else will imprint. They could have a real future together."_

I shook my head. _"I think the elders are full of shit. Three of the oldest of us have already imprinted. It's probably going to happen to us all."_

_ "Leah hasn't. She's older than you."_

Like Leah had anything to do with this conversation. _"Leah doesn't count though, does she? She's different. We don't know how the wolf thing works on girls."_

Embry was quiet for a moment as we ran, his mind and emotions churning. _"So we're just supposed to ignore every pretty girl who hits on us, hoping to eventually run into that one that we finally imprint on? That sucks!"_

I shrugged. _"It's your choice. You could always just fuck 'em and leave 'em."_

The memory of doing just that before I met Jenna sent a pang through me. The pain was nearly strong enough to cripple me. I had betrayed my mate. Okay, so I hadn't known my mate. And yeah, so for most of those girls, I hadn't even known I was a wolf or that there was even such a thing as mates. But still, I had betrayed her. And there was that handful of girls that I had slept with knowing full well that eventually I would meet a girl who would completely own my heart from that point forward. I had just never considered that she would own my heart retroactively as well.

Embry shifted uncomfortably beside me. _"Fuck, and live with that afterward? No thanks. Man, this sucks. She needs to hurry up and get here already."_

Embry was imagining being on his own for decades as he waited for his imprint to show up. I had to laugh at his predicament. _"Ah, is the poor virgin getting impatient?"_

_ "Shut up, Man Whore."_

**

* * *

Jenna POV**

"Charlie says that Bella is already showing some improvement," John commented as he filled his thermos with fresh coffee.

I glanced up from watching the pancakes cooking. "That's good."

I honestly couldn't tell if the girl was improving or not. She hardly spoke around me. She still seemed to be physically holding herself together, with the way she wrapped those arms tightly around herself. I was tempted to offer an ace bandage. It would be so much more convenient. I mean, at least she'd have her hands free then. All this over a damn boyfriend? Seriously?

I could understand a week, maybe two, of lying around the house, a pint of ice cream her best friend. But four fucking months? Or had it been longer than that now? Had the guy brainwashed her? Or had she always been this weak? She was just asking to be a domestic abuse victim.

"Is she coming back out today?" He asked.

I shrugged. "I think Jake is taking her out parts shopping or something."

"Parts shopping?" John asked.

Shit. Bella was keeping the motorcycles secret. I had completely forgotten for a second there.

"You know he's always working on something or other. Bella tags along after him like a lost puppy." Paul spoke up from the table, saving me.

"You going along, Jenna?"

I shook my head. I had seen enough of Bella for one week, thank you very much. Even though she had hardly spoken a word around me, she was starting to get on my nerves. "Junk yards aren't really baby-proofed."

John chuckled. "I suppose not. What about you, Paul?"

"English paper," Paul replied tersely.

John shrugged into his fishing jacket. "Have a good day. I'll be back for dinner."

As soon as he was out of the house, I could feel Paul's eyes on me. I fidgeted as I continued cooking the pancakes. I knew exactly what he wanted to talk about. He'd wanted to talk about it all week and I had put him off every way I knew how. I didn't know what to tell him. I wasn't ready to tell him my whole sordid past. How did I separate the two?

Breakfast was tense. I didn't taste the pancakes, and there was a huge knot in my throat almost gagging me as I tried to swallow them. When my plate was half-empty, I shoved it away. I would end up choking myself if I attempted to eat anymore. Paul must have been waiting for my signal, because as soon as I pushed the plate away, he did the same.

"Jenna, I would like to talk about your arms. Can we please talk about this?"

I leaned back in my seat, crossing my arms. Could I even talk about this?

Paul leaned forward, a pleading expression on his face. "Please, Jenna, this is killing me."

I sighed. "What do you want me to say, Paul?"

He ran a hand through his hair, frustration rolling off of him as he stared down at the table. "I want you to tell the truth!" He looked up at me. "Do you still have the urge to hurt yourself?"

I shook my head, my voice momentarily cut off by the intense emotions I saw in his eyes. This was really bothering him.

"You would tell me the truth, right? Even if it was something you knew I wouldn't want to hear?"

I nodded. "I was telling the truth that day, Paul. I haven't cut myself in years. I think the last time I did that I was thirteen. Maybe fourteen."

"And the last time you tried to kill yourself?"

I swallowed. "With a razor? Or any other way?"

His jaw slackened for a moment. Then his face hardened. "Any way at all. When was the last time, Jenna?"

"I suppose that depends on your point of view. I slashed my wrists a couple times with intent to die. I had alcohol poisoning a time or two. And I OD'd at least three times at parties. I'm not even sure if I was trying to kill myself or not those other times. I was really fucked up, Paul."

He stared at me for a long moment. His hands fidgeted on the table. "Will you tell me why?"

I met his eyes evenly. "No."

His jaw clenched. The kitchen filled with tension. He was clearly angered at my denial. But that shit was private.

His eyes finally slid away from mine as his throat moved. I could hear him swallowing just before he spoke. "Are you…did you stop trying to hurt yourself because of Anderson? You're not just waiting for him to grow up are you? It's not like you're going to off yourself as soon as he's grown, right?"

Something in me wanted to reach out and comfort him. He looked so sad, sitting there, refusing to meet my eyes. The pain was coming off of him in palpable waves. I fought the urge to lean across the table. His pain, combined with the emotions swirling through me, was making it hard for me to focus. I had to concentrate, trying to remember exactly what he had asked me. Right, he wanted to know if Anderson was the reason I wasn't trying to kill myself any more.

"Yes and no."

Paul's eyes jerked to mine. "What?"

Only when his panicked gaze returned to me did I remember the second half of his question. I rushed to amend my answer. "Finding out I was pregnant was the kick in the ass I needed to get me to give up that lifestyle. I was still depressed for awhile after that, but around the time he was born I decided that moping was a waste of my energy. Anderson gave me a reason to start caring again. He showed me that life was worth living."

Paul searched my eyes. Once again, I felt like he was diving deep into my soul. How did he do that? I'd never met anyone who could affect me the way he did. "And what happens when he goes away to college? Are you going to break down?"

I shrugged. "I'll be upset. Like any mother. But I have awhile until I have to worry about that. I'll deal with it when the time comes."

Paul frowned. Why did he care anyway? I stood up. I'd had enough of this conversation. I grabbed my plate and reached for his. For the first time since I'd started feeding him, he hadn't finished his food.

"Are you finished?"

He shoved the plate forward. "Yeah."

I had just started the dishes when the phone rang. Paul was still in the room, but I was closer. Besides, I would be much more polite to whoever was on the phone than he would be.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Jenna! You guys ready to go shopping?" Jake's cheerful voice asked.

I turned to Paul with upraised eyebrows. "Uh, I don't really think a junkyard is an appropriate place for Anderson. So I'm going to have to pass on that."

"Oh," Jake's cheerfulness turned down a notch. "Well send Paul over then. Bella should be here any minute."

Paul was scowling now, his arms crossed. He had a fierce, stubborn expression on his face. Jake had somehow convinced him help work on the bikes every afternoon during the past week, even though Paul didn't seem to really enjoy the activity. He certainly didn't like Bella. Maybe he was doing it because Jake was his friend? Although I wasn't even sure _why_ they were friends. Paul didn't seem to really enjoy Jake's company either. It had to be one of those weird boy things. Like when they would beat the shit out of each other one day and then pal around the next.

Paul shook his head, like he knew exactly who I was talking to and what he had asked.

"I don't think Paul can make it today," I told Jake.

"Tell him to get his lazy ass over here," Jake replied firmly.

Something in me stiffened at the tone in his voice. I scowled. Who the hell did he think he was talking to? Paul had worked on those damn bikes all week long. And I seriously doubted he had any interest in motorcycles. Or that he was mechanically inclined for that matter. And didn't he say he had an English paper to work on?

"Paul isn't coming, Jake," I stated evenly.

"I'll just come get him."

I pushed myself away from the counter, anger shooting through me. Paul stood abruptly, holding his hand out for the phone, his eyes blazing. I pushed his hand away roughly.

"Listen here, Jacob Black. I'm sick of watching you treat everyone like you're some kind of fucking King. As far as I know, you aren't the fucking Chief of this tribe or Monarch of any nation. So get off your damn high horse and stop ordering people around. Paul doesn't want to go on your little shopping trip. He doesn't want to work on your little girlfriend's fucking bikes. Stop being such a bastard and fuck off."

I heard Jake suck in a breath to reply. I had no interest in listening to anything else he had to say, so I pulled the phone away from my ear and hit the button to hang up on him. I turned back to Paul, expecting to see the frown still plastered on his face. Instead he was smirking down at me.

"You just told your cousin to fuck off. _The _fucking Jacob Black."

I shrugged. "He's just a guy. Why do you all let him order you around anyway?"

He just shook his head, grinning at me. "You stuck up for me."

I turned away from him, uncomfortable with the intense look in his eyes. "What are friends for, right?"

**

* * *

AN: Just wanted to give a huge fucking thank you to everyone who takes a moment to read and/or review my little ramblings here. Going through some major shit at work right now and you guys never fail to help ease my stress. Ya'll are helping me keep my shit together, so thanks. **


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

**AN: paulsgirl123, I'd do this as a reply to your review, but sadly there was no handy-dandy reply link: Um, you may have my story confused with another, cause Jenna never took a pregnancy test that I remember. Yes, she did have unprotected sex (always a bad idea for teenagers) but she is not pregnant again. I can see where the confusion would come in though. In Chapter 8 she was worrying about the possibility while she was smoking. And in Chapter 11 Quil even called Paul 'Baby-Daddy' because of the rumor going around about him being Anderson's father. Jenna was a little pissed off at that prospect, but I didn't make it very clear the _reason_ she was being a bitch that day. I alluded to it but never spelled it out. Her specific thoughts on the matter were: "I wanted to slap him for daring to even fear that he had knocked me up. _Hell no. My decision to quit smoking isn't the only reason I'm having such a hard time holding back the inner bitch today you fucker."_ She was PMSing folks. There, it's spelled out now. Hope that answers that question.**

**Disclaimer: I own a life-sized Cigar-store Indian figurine that used to scare the shit out of me in the middle of the night, but I don't own the Twilight saga or all the money it brings in.**

**

* * *

PPOV**

"This has gone on long enough. It's time for Jenna to find out," Sam declared.

I started shaking my head immediately, fear overpowering me. She would run. I could feel it. Jenna would pack that little car up, take Anderson and run as soon as she learned the truth about me. She would never set foot in La Push again.

Sam held up a hand before I could open my mouth. "She has to be told sometime, Paul. How do you think she'll react when she finds out how long you've been lying to her?"

"Hey! I haven't lied to her!"

"It's the same thing. At least that's how she'll see hiding something this big."

I closed my mouth, having no argument for that. He was right. She would be pissed when she found out. What did I think I was doing here? Did I really think I could hide this forever?

"I'll just stop phasing."

Sam snorted. "Right. Like you have that kind of control."

Dammit.

He was looking at me with one cocked eyebrow. I wanted to claw that damn thing right off his fucking face. I shoved my shaking hands into my pockets, taking a deep breath. I could do this. I could conquer this. The fucking wolf did not have to be in control.

"She has to know the truth, Paul," Sam said quietly.

"She'll run." My voice broke over the words.

Sam stared at me for a long moment. "We'll ease her into it. Usually imprints get a bonfire. She didn't get hers. We'll have a cookout tonight. We'll tell the legends."

My heart started to pound. He held his hand up again before I could protest. "We won't tell her that they're true, yet. Maybe we won't need to. Maybe she'll figure it out."

I shook my head. "She doesn't believe in fairy tales. She's too practical."

Sam sighed. "Just bring her. We'll start having you guys over more often, okay? Maybe it will be easier if she trusts all of us."

I doubted it. I had the feeling she would only feel more betrayed. But I couldn't argue with Sam. He was trying to help me. He could always do this the quick and brutal way. Like ripping a band-aid off fast, to get it over with. He could force me to tell her anytime he wanted, with one sentence. He wasn't doing that to me though. So I would go along with his plan.

I jogged through the trees, my mind spinning. How long would Sam give me? Were we talking days or weeks? Months? I shook my head. No way he would let me get away with months. He didn't like the strain this was putting on me, and by extension the rest of the pack. He wanted everything out in the open. He had perfect faith in the imprint bond, that once she knew, she would accept me and everyone would live happily ever after. After all, that's how it worked for him and Emily, and Kim and Jared. That's how it worked in the tribal legends. So why would it be any different for me? But they didn't know my Jenna. She was still in a lot of pain, and I didn't even know why. I had no fucking faith in the imprint bond to hold her here. She could leave me.

I felt like throwing up by the time John's house came into view. The smell of bacon was wafting from the kitchen as I stepped onto the porch. My stomach flipped. Usually I loved Jenna's breakfasts. I really wished she had taken one fucking morning off though.

Her head jerked up in surprise as I walked in through the laundry room. She frowned. "What were you doing out there?"

The smell of the food wasn't helping my stomach any. As soon as my eyes landed on her it felt like my stomach had twisted itself inside out. I swallowed thickly before speaking. "Sam called really late last night, needing some help with a few things. I ended up staying at his place for the rest of the night. I'm actually pretty tired. I'm going to go take a nap."

"I'm making breakfast. Do you want to eat something before you lay down?" Her voice was filled with compassion.

I shook my head, walking quickly toward the living room to get out of the room. I stopped in the doorway between the living room and the kitchen; I almost forgot to tell her about our plans for the evening. "Sam's throwing a cookout tonight. He really wants you to come."

"I don't know…" She was searching for an excuse to decline, I just knew it.

I turned around in the doorway, meeting her eyes. "He's doing this for you, Jenna. You did the whole Thanksgiving thing for everyone. Let him cook a couple burgers."

She shoved a stray chunk of hair behind her perfect little ear, looking away. "He's doing it for me? That doesn't even make sense."

I shrugged. "Sam's odd sometimes. He really does want to do this for you though. Please."

If she refused, then Sam was going to make me tell her. I could feel it in my bones. I would have to do something ridiculous, like phase in front of her. Because there was no way I could get the words to come out of my mouth, no matter how strong the Alpha order Sam laid on me.

She sighed, and I knew from the defeated sound of it that Sam had won. That sound ripped through me, setting off every protective instinct I had. I had to grip the doorframe to keep from charging out the door to confront Sam. How _dare_ he make my Jenna feel like that.

She didn't seem to notice my inner struggle at all as she turned back to the bacon that was close to burning. "I'll go to the store in a bit. I need to bring something to the cookout."

"Emily will make enough for an army."

Jenna snorted. "And you guys eat enough for two armies."

**

* * *

Jenna POV**

I eyed the shelf. Should I make brownies or a cake? Which would the guys prefer? They could grab the brownies and go, where they would require a plate and fork for the cake. The brownies would definitely be the more convenient choice. Or maybe cookies? Chocolate chip cookies sounded really yummy.

"Well what do we have here?"

It took me a moment to realize the sneered comment had been directed toward me. I glanced over to see a middle-aged man glaring at my son. He didn't have a cart. Of course, he didn't need one since all he was purchasing was a case of beer. Panic shot through me. The man was standing close to the cart, almost as close as I was. Stepping forward, I yanked my son out of the cart and held him close to my chest.

What the fuck was this guy's problem?

He turned his angry eyes toward me. His lip pulled up in a snarl as his eyes ran up and down my body. "So you're the slut my son is living with now?"

I gasped. "Excuse me?"

He grinned, but there was no humor in his expression. "Oh, I doubt there's any excuse for you or my son."

His gaze returned to Anderson. Anger flared up in me. I had no idea who this lunatic was, but I did not like the way he was looking at my child. "Sir, I don't know who you are, but you need to back the fuck off."

He snorted. "You're certainly his type. Paul always did have a foul mouth."

Understanding slapped me upside the head. This was Paul's father. Of course. But why was he so angry with me? I had never met him. Did he think I was the reason Paul had left him? Did he think it had nothing to do with the beatings he had administered over the years? Did he actually miss his son? He had an odd way of showing it.

I squared my shoulders and glared into his gaze. "Why exactly did you come over here to talk to me?"

His eyes darted down to Anderson. My skin crawled. Why the fuck did he keep looking at my son like that? His gaze kept going all weird when he looked at Anderson. I couldn't describe it. It was softer though. My heart froze.

If this man had any inappropriate intentions toward my son I would kill him, without any regrets or worries about the consequences.

The man's eyes rose to meet mine, fury building in them. I found myself taking an involuntary step back. Paul had obviously inherited his temper from his father. He had that same crazed look that Paul always got just before he lost his shit and fucked somebody up. Was I about to be beat in the middle of the baking aisle in the quaint La Push grocery store? How fucked up was that?

"I don't give a fuck about _you_, Princess." His voice had grown quiet but intense in his fury. His eyes darted back down to Anderson. "I came to meet my fucking g_randson._"

Oh shit.

My eyes widened. The whole reservation really did believe that Paul was Anderson's father. How the fuck did they believe that? He was already born when I got here. How stupid were these people?

"Is there a problem here?"

Relief flooded me as the store's owner walked over. Paul's father backed off a step or two, but he was still there, glaring at me.

The owner turned to me. "Is this man bothering you?"

I glanced at Paul's father. How pissed would he be if I admitted the truth? Would he come after me? I decided it was in my best interest to just ignore the question.

I turned and grabbed a random box off the shelf behind me and threw it in the cart. "I'm ready to check out now."

The owner narrowed his eyes at Paul's father as I slipped past him. The owner followed me to the register and checked me out himself.

"I'm sorry you had such an unpleasant experience in my store."

I sent him a tight smile, my skin crawling as Paul's father joined the small line forming behind me. "Don't worry about it. It's not your fault."

My eyes darted down the line. _He_ was staring at Anderson. I shuddered as I turned back to the owner. I spoke quietly. "Thank you for interrupting back there."

The man met my gaze, his eyes completely serious. "Please be careful around James. He has a volatile temper. It's much worse when he's been drinking. And he's always drinking."

I nodded my understanding, handing over my debit card to pay for the groceries. As soon as I could, I rushed out of the store. I wanted to get back home and away from this James character as quickly as possible. He probably knew exactly where John lived. It seemed like everyone knew where everyone else lived on this small reservation. But knowing where I lived, and actively following me home were two completely different levels of creepy. I would prefer to avoid the latter if at all possible.

I buckled Anderson into his car seat while the bag boy loaded the few grocery bags into the floorboard. James was just stepping out of the store when I floored it out of the parking lot. Relief poured through me once the store was out of sight. I couldn't help but check the rear view mirror throughout the short drive home though. I wouldn't put it past James to follow me home, to finish our discussion.

Almost as soon as I pulled into the driveway, Paul was coming out to meet me.

"That was a short nap."

He ran a hand through his hair. "Yeah. I wasn't sleeping well anyway."

I pulled Anderson out of his seat while Paul started unloading the groceries. I wanted to tell him about his father's little attack, but I wasn't sure how to bring it up. Or how he would react when he learned that all of La Push really did think that he was a father. Sure, he seemed to blow it off when the rumor spread through school. But that was just stupid high school bullshit. He wouldn't let that get to him. But when the adults on the reservation started believing it too, that could be serious. That could affect his reputation for the rest of his life.

I set Anderson in his highchair with a graham cracker to gnaw on. Then I moved to help Paul put away the groceries. I pulled out the box I had grabbed randomly. Damn, it looked like I was making coffee cake. Okay, not exactly cookout food. Rolling my eyes, I put the box in the pantry. I would make that some other time. I had enough ingredients on hand to make some cookies and maybe even a batch of brownies from scratch.

"So…" I mumbled as Paul was putting away the last of the groceries. "Something really weird happened at the store."

He stiffened. "Yeah? What?"

I leaned against the counter, trying not to fall over from nerves. "I met your father."

Suddenly Paul was by my side, his face an odd combination of concern and anger. "Are you okay? He didn't hurt you did he? I'll kill the mother-fucker if he laid a hand on you."

I laid a hand on his arm. "He didn't touch me. But he was really angry. Things might have gotten out of hand if the owner hadn't interrupted."

"I'm gonna kiss Embry's dad next time I see him," Paul muttered.

I quirked my eyebrows.

"Embry's folks own the store," he explained. "What did my father want? Why was he going after you? Was he trying to get to me or something?"  
"He didn't want anything to do with me or you actually. He was interested in Anderson."

Paul's face lost all traces of emotion. When he spoke his voice came out low and hard. "What did you just say?"

"He thinks Anderson is yours. That he's a grandpa. And he's pissed that he hasn't met his grandson yet. The whole damn town thinks he's yours."

Paul clenched his jaw. "Did he say anything else? Did he threaten you or Anderson?"

I shook my head. "We were interrupted. He kept staring at Anderson though. It was really creepy."

Paul nodded once. "He's not safe. Don't go anywhere near him. If he shows up somewhere, leave. Run if you have to."

I snorted. "I'm certainly not going anywhere near him."

**

* * *

PPOV**

I wanted to hunt the bastard down and tear out his throat. He had no business approaching Jenna in the first place. But to scare the shit out of her? He needed to die. I'd been tempted before, in the midst of a fit of rage. Hell, he'd been the one to push me over the edge that first time I'd phased. Fucker nearly didn't make it out of that night alive. If Sam hadn't seen the signs and been watching me like a fucking mother hen, I would have killed him that night and thrown a fucking victory party afterward.

I'd been sleeping like the dead, a big-ass puddle of drool soaking my pillow, when all of a sudden her panic had ripped through me. I was on my feet and running for the front door in a split second, only to realize I didn't know where the fuck she was. I tried her cell phone, but the damn thing was sitting on the fucking counter, ringing away. What the fuck good was a fucking cell phone if it wasn't in her fucking purse? I tried sniffing her out, but she'd driven, so that only got me as far as the driveway.

My next tactic was to home in on the bond connecting us. That was the whole point of the damn thing. But we were both panicking too much. I couldn't push past the fear flooding me to figure out where the hell the flood was coming from. All I knew was I was drowning in it. I was about to resort to wolfing out and running an ever-widening circle pattern when a wave of relief hit me. It was so strong it threw me to my knees.

I didn't know what the fuck was going on, but she wasn't _so_ scared any more. That was something, right? She was still scared, still on edge, but she was relieved as well. That feeling was definitely coming from my left. I started to head in that direction, only to realize that I was dressed only in boxers. I would have to put something on first. Running to my room, I pulled on a clean pair of jeans and the first T-shirt I came across. Shoes weren't really high on my priority list, but I needed to fit in as much as possible. Sam's orders. So I slipped them on, sans socks. Then I was out the door.

And Jenna had been pulling up. I had wanted to cry with relief.

Now all I felt was anger. I had to shove it away though. It was time for the fucking cookout. I'd spent all fucking day trying to deal with my anger. Trying to shove it aside. Jenna had been picking up on it through the bond, so she'd been edgy all afternoon. It made for a fun day of snipping at each other. The only time either of us was calm was when we were playing with Anderson.

He was a fun kid, all smiles. He'd figured out that if he was holding our hands he could pull himself up to his feet. He couldn't take any steps yet. But fuck did that kid love to bounce. It was hard to believe he was the same kid from a few months earlier. He was about seven months old, and in just those few short months he had changed so much. It was amazing how much babies changed, and how fast.

I kind of regretted not seeing the first couple months of his life. But I would have the opportunity with the rest of Jenna's kids. If she accepted me.

As we pulled up to Sam's house, I noticed a familiar red truck parked alongside the other cars. My frown deepened. Fan-fucking-tastic. Because Bella Fucking Swan was just what we needed to round out the perfect day.

Jenna's lips twitched as she eyed my expression.

"What?" I growled.

She grinned. "Aren't we excited to see our favorite person?"

I glared at her. "And you like her any more than I do?"

She shrugged, popping her door open. "I have no idea. I can't get the zombie to talk to me."

I snorted as I got of the car. "Trust me, it's better that way."

* * *

I watched Jenna carefully as Sam began to tell the stories of our tribe. She was rocking Anderson gently. He'd started to get fussy, since it was already a couple hours past his bedtime. The little guy didn't appear to like being out past his curfew. That was sure to change.

So far, she seemed completely neutral to the stories. She wasn't fascinated and she wasn't bored. She also wasn't putting any stock in them at all. I was right, she wasn't going to draw any conclusions from this.

Bella on the other hand, had gone white as a fucking ghost. That bitch _knew_. As soon as Sam had mentioned the Cold Ones her heart rate had accelerated. And as the story progressed, her breathing had picked up too. She started shooting glances around the room, studying all of us. Shit. Sam was not going to be happy with Jake. What the hell had he been thinking, bringing her here anyway? She had no business being here. This was for wolves and their imprints only. She was neither. She needed to go back home, where she belonged.

As soon as Sam finished with the stories, I stood. I needed to get my little family home. Anderson was fighting sleep, which was stressing Jenna. Emily tried to shove some left-overs our way, but Jenna shook her head.

"Feed them to the boys."

Emily smiled at her. "Thank you so much for coming. Please, come back. It was so nice to spend some quality time with you. I always have to run as soon as you get home during the week. Besides, it's nice to have another girl around to help fight this sea of testosterone."

Jenna frowned, looking around. "What about Leah? Where is she?"

Emily frowned, looking down. "She had to work, but she doesn't really come around here to hang out that much."

I fought down the sarcastic laugh. Why the fuck would Leah want to hang out with the man she loved and the woman _he_ loved, especially since that woman was her own cousin? No fucking thank you. Leah was just protecting herself by staying away. I could understand that.

We made our way toward the door, but the going was slow. Everyone wanted to tell us good-bye. Well, they wanted to tell Jenna good-bye.

"Will you be coming by tomorrow?" Jenna asked a very pale-faced Bella as we neared the door.

Bella's eyes darted around the room. Her heart was still going a little faster than normal. "Um, I'm not sure. That depends on if I'm able to get all my homework done. I have a big project due soon."

"Oh, well, okay. See you later."

Why the fuck was Bella lying? I considered the idea as we headed for the car. She had to be avoiding La Push. And it had to do with the stories she had heard. She must be avoiding us because of the whole sprouting fur and fangs shit. What? We weren't the right kind of monsters for her? That bitch. So we weren't as pretty as her precious leeches. We could tear their fucking heads off. She could go fuck herself.


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

**Disclaimer: Really? You think I'd be playing with fanfiction if I were a professional author? No, I'd be writing this shit for money.**

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PPOV**

I walked into school with Jenna like usual, walking with her to her locker, where we always split up. Generally at this point I would head to my first class, to catch up on sleep. Instead, I slipped out one of the back doors. The other students and even the one teacher who witnessed my departure ignored me. They were all used to seeing me leave school at all hours of the day without any censure. Everyone in the school system was well aware that Sam Uley's little gang received special treatment. Of course, none of them knew why, which led to rumors and jealousy.

I made my way to the forest, pulling my clothes off, stashing them quickly and efficiently. The thought that someone might catch me never even crossed my mind. I'd been doing this for so long that modesty wasn't even an issue any more. And it wasn't like one of the high school kids was going to be sneaking up on me. I'd hear them coming a mile away, literally. There would be plenty of time to phase and get my ass of sight, again, literally. I pulled a pair of shorts from my backpack, stowing them in the small bag tied to my leg before shoving the backpack into the bushes. Then I phased effortlessly, hardly feeling the pain of muscles and bones popping and shifting.

Leah's mind briefly touched mine, but then she shifted her attention back to her patrol route without acknowledging me. I didn't take the slight personally though. That was just how Leah was. She never opened herself up to any of us guys. I couldn't really blame her. She'd gotten the shit end of the stick, and now she had to see memories of her ex-boyfriend in bed with her cousin? That was all kinds of fucked up.

_"I don't need or want your sympathy."_ She growled at me with her mind, resentment flooding her thoughts.

_"Good, because I wasn't offering any. You need to get the fuck over it already. How long has it been now? A year? Two? He's just a guy. Unless his pecker grants wishes, I don't see what's so special about him."_

_"Fuck you."_

She was quiet for a moment as I ran through the trees, my focus shifting to my morning's agenda. It wasn't very long. There was just one item on the list, and it shouldn't take an inordinate amount of time. Assuming he was at home.

Leah broke into my thoughts again. _"Sam's gonna be pissed when he finds out."_

_ "And he can go fuck himself. The bastard threatened Jenna and Anderson."_

_ "I understand. Doesn't mean the Great and Mighty Ruler will."_

_"Then keep your thoughts to yourself. You're better at that than some in this pack."_

A flash of Embry's face slipped from my mind to hers. I grimaced as I felt her curiosity flare up. But Leah knew how to allow people to have their secrets.

_"I'm not going to warn him or anything, but he'll find out eventually. Sooner rather than later. The old fishermen around here are worse than little old ladies when it comes to gossiping."_

We went back to ignoring each other, which was good since I was closing in on my destination. The stench hit me before the house came into view. He had apparently slid further down the slope of depravity since I left the house. I stopped at the edge of the trees, phasing back into my human shape. It felt more like a mask then ever before. The wolf was very close to the surface. He had come for blood. My hands were shaking as I pulled my shorts up. I would be lucky to walk out of that house on two legs rather than four.

My sense of smell wasn't as strong in human form, but the urge to gag was still overwhelming before I even opened the door. I held my breath as I turned the handle. I could feel the air washing over me as I pushed the door against the wall, and could only imagine how bad it smelled. I stood in the doorway for a long moment, delaying the inevitable. Eventually I would have to stop holding my breath. I wasn't a leech. I did require oxygen to survive.

Tentatively, I took a slow breath. Holy fuck. My father was disgusting. How long had it been since he had bathed? How the fuck had this man managed to sneak up on Jenna in the grocery store? I would have to have a little talk with her about paying closer attention to her surroundings.

I stepped into the dark house, leaving the door open for self-preservation. I didn't want to suffocate after all. I expected to find my father passed out somewhere in the living room and he didn't disappoint. _Well, that's a lie, he is a fucking disappointment, but he's right there, slumped half on, half off the couch._ Narrowing my eyes, I made my way across the room, kicking liquor bottles and beer cans out of my way. Leaning down, I grabbed him by the shirt, picking him up easily, and threw him across the room.

A small smile tilted my lips as he crashed into the wall, cracking the sheet-rock. How many times had the cracks been formed by my head? Too many to count.

I stalked toward him as he groggily opened blood-shot eyes. "Whuzzit? Whuts goin' on?"

Crouching down I grabbed fistfuls of his shirt, pulling him up. With the ability to phase, I had gained several inches on my drunk-ass father. I used them to my advantage, pulling him off the ground, slamming him back against the wall. His head bounced against the wall again, with a satisfying thud.

I was finding it surprisingly easy not to phase. There was something so fulfilling in feeling his body tremble beneath my hands. He had come to enough to realize who was glaring into his eyes. The terror on his face was so fucking great, I could get addicted to this shit. I could even smell it. The fear was pouring off of him so strong it was overpowering the stench of his filth.

But I had a reason for this. I couldn't lose my focus. "I heard you had a little conversation with Jenna."

My father's eyes hardened. I could feel his spine stiffening. "That's my grandson! You got no right to keep him from me."

I grit me teeth, pulled him back from the wall a few inches and slammed him back. "Listen here, Mother Fucker. You aren't coming anywhere near Jenna or Anderson ever again. Do you understand?"

He glared right back at me. "Grandpas got rights, too. I looked it up."

I released one hand, drawing it back. Nothing had ever felt as good as the feeling of my knuckles pounding into his face, splitting his lip open, blackening his eye, breaking his nose. After a few punches I realized that murder charges probably wouldn't endear Jenna to me any more than finding out I was a giant-ass wolf.

"Let's try this again," I spoke in a quiet, calm voice. "You have no claim on Anderson. Do you understand? If you ever attempt to contact Jenna or Anderson again, I will find you and I will finish the job I started today. No one will ever see or hear from you again."

He stared at me out of his remaining good eye, finally nodding his head in acceptance.

I pressed him against the wall a little harder. "And you will have no claim to any children we may have in the future. They won't have a grandfather. Agreed?"

He nodded more quickly, reading my eyes correctly. I had no problem coming back to take care of him permanently. If he ever threatened my family again he was dead. I would take his body into the wilderness and bury it so deep the fucking wild animals wouldn't even know it was there.

I was done with him. Forever. I released him quickly. His body crumpled to the floor. Stepping over him, I headed out the door. I could make it back to school in time for my next class and the Spanish test Jenna had helped me study for.

**

* * *

Jenna POV**

I approached the cafeteria nervously. I hadn't really spoken to Jake since I told him off on Saturday. Sure, we'd both been at Sam's the next day for the cookout, but we had avoided each other like the other had the black plague. Ha! The _Black_ _Plague._ How appropriate.

Like usual, I was the first at the table. I set the burritos in a pile in the center of the table, taking one for myself. I picked at the edges, people watching as I waited for the others to show. Most of the school had finally decided that I was old news. Even the jocks no longer cared about me. Every so often Shane Peltier would look at me, a bitter expression twisting his face. I always wondered if he blamed me for the loss of his football scholarship opportunities, or if he had ever realized that he owned some of that responsibility as well.

"You're in deep thought," Embry commented as he slid into the seat across from me.

I glanced up to see that he was the only other person at the table so far. I sent him a small smile. "Hey. How's your day going, Embry?"

He shrugged, grabbing three burritos. He shot quick glances my way as he tore at the edges of one. "Okay I guess. How are you?"

"Good."

He checked behind himself quickly before turning back to me with a more serious expression. "No, really. Are you okay?"

"Of course," I answered with a forced laugh. "Why do you ask?"

"Never mind, you just had a weird expression I guess," he mumbled with a frown before focusing on his food. He took a huge bite, consuming a third of the burrito.

The others arrived in a large, boisterous crowd, preventing me from digging deeper. Embry looked like something was bothering him though. I didn't like seeing my friends troubled. Especially someone like Embry, who was normally so carefree. I expected that expression on Paul's face. Embry should be smiling and joking with Seth, who was making jokes about becoming an honorary Latino with all the Mexican food I had been cooking lately.

"Hey," Jake greeted me, his voice subdued.

I gave him a small smile as he slid a can of soda my way. He wasn't _too_ angry if he was still buying me a soda. He smiled in return.

"Hi."

"Thanks for the burritos," he said, reaching into the fray to claim his lunch while he had a chance.

There was still a little awkwardness between us, but it wasn't insurmountable.

I let the conversation wash over me, soothing my nerves. For some reason, I had been an emotional wreck all morning. I had woken up fine. But sitting in my first class, a wave of rage had washed over me. It was unreasonable and unfounded. But I had the urge to pick a fight with anyone who would oblige me. I wasn't even PMSing, but I wanted to rip the head off of the guy clicking his pen four seats away.

And just as quickly as the rage came, it washed away. In my second class I was anxious. It was like test anxiety, but I didn't have a test. It took me half an hour to remember that Paul had his Spanish test during the second hour. Could I have been sub-consciously worrying about it since I had spent so much of the past week helping him study?

The anxiety had lessened after second period, but it had never really gone away. I spent the rest of the morning trying to figure out what was bothering me. The fear of facing Jake was the only thing I could think of that would upset me this much. He was the closest family connection I had in a long time, and I really didn't want to screw it up. I wouldn't stand for him abusing his friends though.

"So, Jenna…" Jake started.

I turned my attention to him. He was looking at his hands as he fiddled with his empty soda can.

"Yes?"

"Do you mind if Bella and I come by to work on the bikes tonight?"

I narrowed me eyes, feeling Paul stiffen beside me. He had been oddly quiet since he took his seat beside me. I could tell something was bothering him, but I knew better than to try to ask him in front of everyone. I would only embarrass him.

Jake saw my look. "Just me and Bella. I think we've got a good handle on things. We don't really need anyone to come out and help us."

His eyes darted behind me, to look at Paul. I studied him for a long moment. He looked sincere enough. Maybe he had realized how much of a dick he was being, coercing his friend to be around a girl he didn't like, working on a project he had no interest in. I would still like to know what manner of persuasion he had used to get Paul into that garage though. Paul wasn't the type to do things he didn't enjoy. And I knew he had hated every moment he spent in that garage.

"So will you two be joining us for dinner?"

Jake's easy smile spread across his face. "Naw, we'll stop by the diner on the way out. Thanks, Jenna."

"Whatever. Just don't turn into an asshole again."

**

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AN: Yes, I'm aware it's too short. But better than nothing, right?**


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

**Disclaimer: I own a dust-covered treadmill, but not Twilight.**

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PPOV**

I paced along the border, emitting a constant growl. It was an involuntary reaction to the week's events. That redheaded leech just would not give up! The cunt kept randomly appearing, showing up when we least expected her. And the leech couldn't be caught. Even Leah couldn't catch up with the bloodsucker, and Leah was the fastest in the pack. What the fuck were we going to do if this thing could outrun Leah?

What the fuck did she want? She wasn't even attacking us. At first, we were just an obstacle, a side note. Only over the past day or so had she decided that we were a fun new game. No, we weren't the reason she was here. There was something on the rez that she was trying desperately to get to. That, or something on the other side of the reservation. Either way, we weren't about to let her traipse right past us.

Jared trotted up, his steps slower than I would have liked. We were all slower than usual. Sam had stepped up the patrols since the leech had appeared. We never knew when she would try to slip through our patrol area. The increased patrols were taking a toll on all of us. We were all losing sleep. The younger kids were taking it the hardest. Collin and Brady had already been suspended for sleeping in class.

Unease filled me. Fucker better be alert enough to protect the rez.

Jared's resentment shot back at me. _"I'm more awake than you, asshole."_

I growled at him. _"But you don't have as much to protect."_

_ "I have an imprint too, or have you forgotten about Kim?"_

I shrugged. _"Of course not. But you don't have a kid yet. I've got a family at home. Keep that in mind while you're out here. If that bitch even gets close to slipping past you, I'll take a chunk out of you."_

Jared snorted. _"You're forgetting something, Paul. That kid's great and all, but he's not yours."_

I sprang at the other wolf, my mind overcome with rage. I may not have had a part in creating Anderson, but he was a part of Jenna. Any child of hers was a child of mine.

_"Paul! Stop!"_ Sam's voice rang through my head.

I twisted my body, throwing myself out of my trajectory. Landing on my back, I deftly rolled to my feet. I shook the leaves and twigs from my fur before trotting away, ignoring Jared's attempt to apologize for sticking his foot in his mouth, paw, whatever. Sam ordered me back to his place as I was trotting my tired ass home. So I made my way there instead, grumbling to myself the whole way, well aware that the others on patrol and the guys heading toward Sam's were being forced to endure my anger.

My temper only flared higher when I recognized the faded red truck pulled up next to Sam's house. Mother fucker. I had to talk to Bella Fucking Swan after a night with no sleep? Sam hated me. There was no other explanation.

I phased reluctantly, pulling on my shorts slowly. I so did not want to go into that house. But the sooner I got this over with, the sooner I would be able to go home and get some sleep. If Jenna didn't throw a fit about me missing another day of school anyway. She'd had a little hissy fit once already, insisting that I go to school on Wednesday after sleeping through it on Tuesday.

I snatched one of the last muffins as I walked by the table. Bella was sitting there, playing with the sleeves of her shirt, Jake at her side. What the hell was she doing here, in Sam's kitchen, on a school day? And why the fuck was the bitch invited to this impromptu meeting anyway? She wasn't a pack member and she wasn't an imprint. Once again she was sticking her whiny little nose where it didn't belong.

"Jake? What is this about?" Sam finally asked as Embry came through the front door.

Jake turned to the girl next to him. "Tell them the story, Bella."

Slowly, the girl raised her eyes. Her face was paler than usual, her eyes wide. "Jake says there's a vampire trying to get around La Push? A red headed one?"

Sam nodded. "She's trying to get to something. Do you know her?"

Bella snorted. There was a flash of backbone in that sound. For a moment there she almost sounded like a girl I could respect. But then she started talking again, in that weak, scared little voice and the moment was gone. "I think it's Victoria. And if it is, I know why she's here."

The room was quiet as we all watched her. She just sat there though, not moving, not speaking. I rolled my eyes. "Well? You gonna enlighten us?"

She took a deep breath. "It started in a baseball field of all places. Her mate decided that he wanted to eat me."

She was staring down, her thumb rubbing absently against the sleeve of the other arm as she told her story. We listened in horror. How could they let the other bloodsuckers get away? Were they truly that incompetent? Or did they intentionally let the others get away? Were they more sympathetic to their own kind than they had tried to lead the pack to believe? See, this was why we didn't trust them. They were bloodsuckers. They had no choice but to survive off the blood of another. It was in their nature. Of course they would eventually betray the walking snack-pack.

And then Bella muttered the words that made me hate her even more. "She's trying to get to me. She wants to kill me. A mate for a mate."

The bitch had been at my house, every evening, held Anderson, helped my Jenna cook dinner. And every moment she was there she was putting them in mortal danger. She could have led that cunt leech right to them. The leech wouldn't have cared that she had only come for Bella. Blood was blood as far as she was concerned. My entire family would have been wiped out, because this whiny little bitch sitting in front of me hadn't felt the need to warn us?

I felt my body shaking. I was so very happy that Sam had lifted Jake's little Alpha order to treat Bella with nothing but respect. "And when the fuck were you planning on telling us that you were being targeted by a bloodsucker hell-bent on revenge?"

She shook her head, her mouth hanging open a bit. "I didn't know."

I chuckled bitterly. "Then you really are stupid."

Jacob scowled at me. "Give her a break. Even if we had known about the tracker, none of us could have known his mate would go after her."

I stared at him in dismay. "And you're supposed to be our natural born Alpha? Thank fuck Sam phased first. We _all_ should have known! You know your fucking legends, Black! Think about it! The Third Wife ringing a fucking bell here? They revenge their mates, Dip Shit. Fuck, if a leech so much as chipped Jenna's nail I'd tear it apart, put it back together, and tear it apart again before I burned it."

"Calm down, Paul." Sam urged.

I was still shaking though. He hadn't made it an order. I glared at the girl as Sam started to speak.

"Bella, we'll need you to be here in La Push as much as possible. As long as the Cullens stay out of town, we can extend our patrol out to your place at night. But it's best to keep that to a minimum. If they return though, we won't be able to go past the original border."

My shaking worsened. "You mean to endanger the entire reservation for _her_?"

Every eye in the room swiveled to me. Sam's narrowed. "We are protectors Paul. We protect."

"Well how about protecting my fucking family! She's been at my fucking house every night for weeks now! If that leech slips through, where the fuck do you think she's going first? What chance do you think Jenna and Anderson stand against that bitch? _We_ can't even catch her."

Bella turned even whiter, if that was possible. "I'm sorry. I'll go home. I swear I didn't know."

Jake grabbed her arm. She was actually standing to leave. He turned a glare my direction. "No one really wants you to leave."

I snorted. "Like hell. I want you to fucking leave. You're a walking target."

"Paul!" Sam snapped.

I slammed my mouth shut before he could order me to shut up. Last time he'd done that Sam had forgotten to release the order. I'd been mute for two days before someone pointed it out to Sam. The guys thought it was hi-fucking-larious.

"So, you'll spend your free time here." For some reason Sam sent me a warning look as he spoke. "And we'll have someone watching your place at night."

"What about Charlie?"

Jake shrugged. "He spends his weekends with dad and Uncle John anyway. Right? We'll just get him to come out here in the evenings too. I'll have Dad invite him over tonight. Maybe they can start up a poker tournament or something. Get a group of guys together. Maybe Embry's dad and Quil Sr. Dad can always find someone else."

It wasn't a bad plan. Jake was good at this shit, when he was trying. Of course, Billy and Quil Sr would have to be careful with their words around Charlie and Sean, Embry's 'father'. Embry had gone the majority of his life truly believing that Sean was his father. Hell, we all thought Sean was his father. I'm pretty sure Sean thought Sean was Embry's father. But then Embry phased, shocking the shit out of the rest of us. There was no way Sean could be biologically tied to Embry, because Sean was as white as Bella. And Embry's mother was from the Makah tribe, with no link to the wolf genes. Which meant Embry's mother had been a very naughty girl. Embry had done some digging and realized that his mother had been two months pregnant when she married Sean. But according to the memory album full of photos that he found in the attic, the two had been dating all through high school, then married almost immediately after graduation.

Sam rubbed a weary hand over his face. "Guys, stop in here before you go on your next patrol. I'll take a look at the patrol routes and adjust them to take in the Swan residence. Go ahead and get some rest. I'll call the school and excuse you all. Paul, Emily's waiting for you in the living room. She'll give you a ride home. Jake, you can escort Bella to school. I'll let the school know you're going to be tardy, but you _will_ be attending today."

Emily woke me up once we were in John's driveway. I stumbled out of her car, groggy from my way too short nap. I made my way into the house, my goal to make it into my bed without Jenna guilt tripping me into going to school instead. Did that shit come with having a kid? Were all mothers innately gifted with the power to lay on a guilt trip?

Jenna was waiting in the living room. Her anxiety washed over me as soon as I opened the door. It was a sign of just how tired I was that I hadn't registered the emotion until I was that close to her. As soon as Emily followed me through the door, the anxiety disappeared. Jenna rushed past me, holding Anderson out.

"I thought you'd never get here! We're going to be late for school!"

"I'm sorry, Jenna." Emily apologized, taking Anderson. "I was waiting for Paul. I was only going to wait another minute or two before I came without him."

Ignoring their conversation, I started walking toward my room. I was not going to let her force me to go to school. Sam was getting me excused. I was going to take advantage of that and catch up on some sleep.

"Are you still wearing yesterday's clothes?" Jenna asked my retreating figure.

"Not for long," I muttered, a yawn cutting me off before I could elaborate.

"Well hurry up, you don't have much time to change."

"Not changing. I'm going to bed," I threw the words over my shoulder as I rounded the corner heading into the hall.

Jenna started to speak but Emily interrupted her. "No, let him go. He hasn't slept in a couple nights now, Jenna. Just let him sleep."

"Why not?" I heard her ask as I closed my door.

Emily's answer was quiet, but not so quiet I couldn't hear her. "There have been some…undesirable...characters poking around La Push lately. You know the boys make up our security force. They've been very busy keeping all of us safe."

I pulled my jeans off, letting them fall on the floor next to my discarded shirt. Collapsing on the bed, I listened to Jenna's response. "Why can't they just hire adults for that? The guys are still teenagers! Let the damn adults take some fucking responsibility!"

I grinned as I rolled over, pulling the blanket with me. _You tell 'em, Jenna._She did have a point after all. From her perspective it made no sense to have a group of kids as the unofficial police force when there was a community full of adults who should be performing that duty. Of course, if I'd explained any of this shit to her, she would understand.

Emily just chuckled quietly. "Have you seen the size of them, Jenna? Can you honestly tell me you'd pick one of the grown men to protect you rather than one of the boys? I certainly wouldn't."

Well of course not. She knew our secret.

Jenna laughed along with Emily. "When you put it like that…"

"Now get to school. You're already late for your first class."

I listened to Emily pushing my mate out the door as I drifted off to sleep, a wide smile on my face. Jenna would pick me to protect her. I knew she would.


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31**

**Disclaimer: So fun taking someone's characters and making them bend and sway to my will. Mwua-ha-ha-ha-cough-splutter-phlegm. Damn that evil really gets caught in the throat, doesn't it?**

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Jenna POV**

Collin and Brady were missing from the lunch table. The day before it had been Embry. Jake and Jared had been gone the day before that. The previous week, each of the boys had missed at least one day.

They were all exhausted. They were so tired they hardly had the energy to eat before dropping their heads to the table to catch what sleep they could before their next class. They napped through their classes and the teachers never commented. If I had tried that my ass would be sent to the principal's office. What the hell?

I tried to be as quiet as possible while the boys rested. But I was not happy with this. What was Sam thinking? Working the boys this hard? Did the child labor law not apply here on the reservation? Collin, Brady and Seth weren't even sixteen yet. Surely they weren't old enough to work, and even the others weren't old enough to be working around the clock. I doubted any of them were making a decent wage, and none of them had mentioned being paid overtime. They were all being taken advantage of. This needed to stop.

But they seemed to take pride in what they were doing. Even when they dropped into their chairs, half asleep in the middle of the day, they held their shoulders high. They felt like they were providing a service. They felt like men. I knew that nothing I said would convince them to stop driving themselves so hard. If they felt like whatever they were doing was so damn important, then nothing was going to stop them. They would never believe they were being used. And I would only offend them if I tried to convince them otherwise.

So instead, I got a head start on my homework during lunch. And in the afternoon classes I took extra care with my notes, aware that I would have to share them with Paul, and Jake too for the class he was in.

Jake and Paul both disappeared as soon as school released us. Paul dropped by my locker first, handing the keys over, mumbling the familiar excuse. Sam needed his help with something. And then he was gone. I watched him work his way through the crowd. He couldn't fade into the group rushing down the hall and out of the school, not the way he towered over them all.

I worried about Paul on the drive home. And I continued to worry as I smiled and thanked Emily for watching Anderson. Then I moved on to assault my lower lip as I cleaned the bathroom that connected our bedrooms and the one attached to John's room, not that he had much opportunity to dirty it. That chore completed, I headed to the kitchen to prepare dinner, despite the fact that my stomach was rolling with anxiety. I had no interest in eating.

Paul was disappearing at all hours of the day and night, for hours at a time. He never had a satisfying excuse for where he was going either. Most of the time, he didn't even bother attempting one. He just left without a word, but he would always send a look my way if I was awake when he left. His eyes worried me the most in that brief moment of frozen time. The dark circles under his eyes distracted me the first couple of times. But then I started noticing the way he was looking at Anderson and me before he stepped out that door. He was memorizing our faces with a fierce, determined expression. He looked like a soldier going away to war, storing away images of the loved ones he was fighting for. What the fuck was going on?

I had just finished cleaning the dinner mess when Bella's truck pulled up in the back yard. Sighing, I grabbed my son and went out to meet her. What on earth could the girl want? She was driving and she was alone. She had never come alone before. Jake had always escorted her. Surely she didn't plan on working on the motorcycles alone? That was ludicrous. She didn't look like she could wash a windshield by herself, much less rebuild an engine.

She shifted nervously as she saw me approaching. "Hi."

I nodded in greeting. "Jake isn't here."

Bella nodded. "I know. He's on patrol with Paul."

I frowned. Patrol. That was an oddly…organized…word for what they were doing. Did they have routes and shift schedules? What the hell was threatening the reservation that they felt the need to go to such lengths? What did a group of teenage boys really think they could do about it? And why the fuck weren't the adults doing something about it already?

She wrapped those arms around herself yet again. I'd thought she was over that. I hadn't seen her make that self-soothing move in a week or so. She followed my gaze, then sent me a sheepish grin. "I just hate that they're all putting themselves in danger like this. Um, do you mind if I hang out here for awhile? Billy wasn't home and it was too quiet over at Jake's…"

Her voice trailed off nervously.

Part of me was so annoyed by her meek attitude that I wanted to turn her away on principle alone. Another part was grateful for the distraction she could potentially provide. I was sick of worrying about Paul and the boys. I didn't even know exactly what I was worrying about for fuck's sake. But what really made my decision for me was the fact that John had begged me to do this for her. And I had promised him that I would try.

"Sure. Follow me." Instead of leading her into the house, I headed for the building, probably confusing the hell out of her.

But I knew there was nothing in the house to keep our minds occupied. If we attempted to watch TV, we'd only end up absorbed in our worries, staring mindlessly at the boob tube. So I led her to the side of the garage that she hadn't been to yet. John had converted it to a game room. We could play pool, ping pong, air hockey, pinball, or a variety of arcade games. There was even a juke box that played CDs. He'd done a good job with the room and the guys used to hang out in the game room on the weekends. Now it was abandoned.

"So, what do you want to play?"

She eyed the room warily. "Jake didn't warn you? I'm practically a deadly weapon."

She continued to eye the contents of the room, like the arcade games were going to come to life and eat her. Clearly, she wasn't going to pick one.

"Let's play pool," I suggested.

She shrugged.

I turned away, using the excuse of settling Anderson in his bouncy toy to school my expression. This chick was already getting on my nerves and she'd only been here for a few minutes. I pushed the bouncy toy as far back in the corner as I could, in case of stray billiard balls. On the way back to the pool table I stopped by the juke box, so we wouldn't necessarily have to make conversation. I didn't really want to talk to this girl. I wasn't in the mood to help someone heal.

She had made an attempt to set the table up. The balls weren't in any particular order, but I didn't have it in me to correct her. Besides, I didn't really care. Instead, I grabbed a pool cue for each of us. She took hers hesitantly. I barely resisted the urge to roll my eyes. The girl needed to grow a pair.

"So, you must really like it on the rez to hang out here when Jake's not even around," I commented, eventually tired of the silence. Half of the game had gone by without a word spoken. And that was saying something. We were both horrible, so it took quite awhile for us to get half of the balls into the pockets.

Bella shot me an odd look. "This is the safest place for me now."

Um, okay. Paranoid freak.

Was she imagining people were out to get her now? Had she had some kind of nervous break down when her boyfriend left her? Well, obviously. But was she delusional now as well? My eyes shot to the corner where Anderson was happily bouncing away, swatting at the little spinning mirror attached to the tray of his bouncy toy. Was she dangerous?

Then the boys came to mind. The way they had suddenly started spending all of their waking hours 'protecting' the reservation. And Bella had started practically living in La Push at the same time. What a fucking coincidence. The bitch was the reason the guys were killing themselves. Maybe she wasn't delusional. Maybe there really was someone out to get her. A stalker. Perhaps one of her father's previous arrests out for revenge. The Police Chief was here an awful lot too. But that made the whole situation even more ludicrous. He was the Chief of fucking Police. He should be able to protect his own daughter and/or himself. Why the hell would she need a group of fucking teenagers to run themselves ragged for her when her own father was a law man? He should have more than enough contacts to keep the girl safe.

Bella saw me looking at my son. "He's safe. Paul and the guys will keep us all safe," I would have felt a shit-load better if she hadn't sounded like she was trying to convince herself too. Oh, and if she wasn't saying a bunch of fucking _teenagers_ were responsible for our safety. "I am really sorry for putting you in danger though. I tried to talk Jake out of this, but he wouldn't listen to me. He insists they can handle her."

Her.

I shook my head, trying to clear it. Straightening, I leaned against my cue. "So, they're half-dead from lack of sleep, missing school, so tired they don't even want to eat, because of you?"

Bella flinched. "I've tried to get them to stop. But I'm sure you know how stubborn they are! They keep insisting that they were made for this, that it's their duty. I can't get them to listen to reason!"

I frowned. Made for this? That didn't even make sense. "Just because they're all freaky huge doesn't mean they have to kill themselves trying to protect someone. They aren't bouncers and they aren't policemen. Why isn't your father doing something? If someone is threatening you, why aren't the fucking adults and damn authority figures stepping up and doing their fucking job?"

Bella opened her mouth, frowned, closed her mouth, and stared at me. She looked completely confused. Finally, just as I was preparing to tear into her, she opened her mouth and spoke again. She seemed to be picking her words carefully. "This is one of those tribal things. It's not in Charlie's jurisdiction. He's not allowed to get involved. The Tribal Council has appointed Sam and the boys as the security team to take care of these things, so technically, it is their responsibility to handle."

She held up a hand as my scowl darkened. "I'm not any happier about this than you are."

I turned back to the game, stewing over her words. I had to channel some of this energy into hitting the balls, before I started smacking her with the cue stick. "So, why is someone after you?"

Her breathing hitched. I watched her from the corner of my eye as she tightened one arm around her middle. "She's…she's a psychopath, I guess. She's mad at my ex-boyfriend and she thinks the best way to get back at him is to kill me."

I stood once again, staring at her in shock. One, there was a crazy person out there trying to kill her, and she thought it was appropriate to be in the same room with my child and not warn me? I'd kill the bitch myself, and mail the pieces to the psycho so she'd know her work was done. Two, her voice had broken when she even said the work ex-boyfriend. And what was with holding herself when she thought about him? Had he broken her ribs?

The guy had broken up with her over six months ago. It was time to let it go. And I would tell her that. If I didn't have more pressing matters to attend to. The whole making my son an unintentional target seemed like the higher priority to me.

"So let me get this straight. You've got a psychopath stalking you? Trying to kill you?"

She nodded.

"And you've been coming over here, playing with my kid. So at any time the psycho bitch could show up and take my kid out?"

Bella blanched. "The p-guys are out there patrolling to make sure she doesn't get through. She won't be able to get to us here."

I snorted. "They're fucking teenagers! You really think they can stand up to a fucking psycho? I'm sorry if I'm not willing to stake my son's life on a fourteen year old boy!"

Bella laid her cue on the table. Moving slowly, she rounded the table, holding a hand out toward me, like she was trying to calm an angry animal. Damn straight I was an angry animal. And I was liable to tear that hand right off.

"Trust me. They have everything under control."

"Excuse me if I don't trust the bitch who put my son in danger in the first place."

Bella backed away. She gave a little nod, tucking a chunk of hair behind her ear. "Um, yeah. I'm just gonna go back to Jake's. Wait for Charlie. Thanks for the game of pool."

She turned and rushed from the room. And I didn't feel the least bit guilty about the sheen of tears I glimpsed in her eyes just before she turned.


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter 32**

**Disclaimer: Still not being chased by the paparazzi, so I must not have any official connection with Twilight.  
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* * *

Jenna POV**

I was all worked up after my discussion with Bella, but I didn't have anything left to clean. So I stayed out in the game room and played pool for a little while. I had to stop when I hit the ball so hard it bounced off the table and flew across the room. My heart pounded. Thankfully it had gone in the opposite direction from Anderson. It was too close a call though. So I grabbed him and headed for the house. It was his bedtime anyway.

After getting him settled in his crib, I attempted another soothing technique. It had been months since I'd had a bubble bath. They used to help me relax. So I filled the tub and hopped in. And the soak really did help me, for awhile. I was able to lay my head back, close my eyes and forget everything. For a few minutes anyway. Then the day's events began to slowly filter in. I tried to shove the thoughts out, but they kept creeping back.

Slapping the water in frustration, sending bubbles flying, I sat up and pulled the plug. It was nice while it lasted, but nothing was going to pull me out of this foul mood. That bitch had potentially put my son's life in danger. There weren't enough bubbles in the world to take that rage away. The best I could do was sleep and hope the next day wasn't as much of a cluster fuck.

Even going to sleep proved to be an exercise in frustration. I rolled for a couple hours, my mind replaying the afternoon. The scenario repeated itself over and over. Each time the scene repeated my mind came up with new ways to tell Bella just how much of a bitch she was. Sometimes I used words, sometimes my fists. Sometimes both. Eventually though exhaustion caught up with me and I fell asleep mid-rant.

_

* * *

I was so tense I felt like I couldn't move my chest enough to breathe. Alan sat too close to me, one hand on my thigh. Aunt Nell sat across from us, her critical eyes on me. I didn't even know why we called her Aunt Nell. She wasn't related to anyone in the family. She was barely even old enough to be a grown up. She made me nervous. She was always watching. She made me feel dirty. She looked at me like she knew everything that happened._

_ Alan had me pinned against the wall. His voice whispered harshly in the quiet hallway. "What did she say to you?"_

_ "Nothing. She didn't say anything." I was shaking. Alan had never looked this angry before._

_ He shook me, rattling my teeth against each other. "Liar. Nellie could never keep her mouth shut. What did she say?"_

**

* * *

PPOV**

I rushed toward the house. She had been in distress all evening. I'd begged Sam to release me from patrol. I'd run doubles if he would just get someone to take my shift. But Sam said everyone was too tired. There wasn't anyone well-rested enough to take over my shift. And he didn't want me trying to run a double later on when I'd no doubt be half dead from exhaustion.

So now I was running full-speed toward John's as I felt her panic gearing up. She was wrapped up in one of those nightmares. One of the bad ones that always had her waking up in a panic attack. She wouldn't even know where she was when she opened her eyes. I had to be there when she woke up.

I struggled with my shorts as I ran toward the house, not really caring if anyone could see the naked guy running through John's backyard. They shouldn't be awake that late at night in the first place. And what were they doing looking in his backyard anyway? Damn nosy people.

She was just starting to scream when I ran through the bathroom connecting our rooms. I had to go the long way around, since she always locked her bedroom door. Sure enough, she was sitting up in bed, her eyes open wide but not seeing anything around her. She was in full panic mode. I shot a quick look toward Anderson but the poor kid was so used to his mother waking up screaming in the middle of the night he hadn't even budged. How fucked up was that?

I slid onto the edge of the bed and pulled her into my chest. She tensed immediately and started fighting. "Shhh. Jenna, it's me. It's okay. It was just a dream."

Gradually she started to relax and stopped trying to beat the shit out of me as I continued to speak softly. Damn, there was no better feeling than when Jenna cuddled into me like that. I felt my eyelids drifting closed. I yanked them open again quickly. Jenna needed me. I couldn't go to sleep at a time like this. I started rubbing her back, hoping the movement would help me stay awake. I wanted to lean back against her headboard. It would be a hell of a lot more comfortable. But then I would fall asleep in Jenna's bed and she would kick my ass in the morning.

When her body had given the last shudder and her breathing had evened out a little, I glanced down at her. She looked exhausted, but she was still awake. "Do you want to talk about it this time?"

She shook her head slowly. Of course not. She never wanted to open up and tell me what the fuck these nightmares were about. No. She just wanted me to make her feel better and then go away. I loosened my arms and started to pull away.

"I guess I'll let you go back to sleep then."

Suddenly she tightened her grip around me, pulling herself into my chest. "No!" She lowered her voice, "Can you just stay with me? Until I fall asleep?"

"Of course." How could I turn her down? I would do anything she needed me to do of course. But, she was asking me to fulfill my deepest need, to be close to her. "Get comfortable first."

"I am," she mumbled into my chest.

I couldn't help the smug grin that spread across my face. That's right. My girl was comfortable right where she was. And it was about fucking time she wanted me to be there for her. But eyeing her, half sitting up, head tilted at an awkward angle, I knew I was going to have to insist that she reposition herself, no matter how much I liked this.

"You'll sleep easier if you lay down, and cover up," I assured her, regretting that she would soon be out of my arms.

"Fine," she grumbled, not sounding the least bit happy about my suggestion.

She rolled away. I felt cold immediately, even though I hadn't truly been cold since I first started phasing. I knew it was all in my head. Ignoring the little voice telling me to curl up next to her, I reached down, grabbed the blankets, and pulled them up, tucking them around her. That helped a little, to cover up the tempting sight. She about did me in though, when she sighed and cuddled down into the bed. That sound ate through my best intentions and whispered to my wolf, encouraging him. And boy did he sit up and pay attention. He wanted nothing more than to crawl under those covers and claim his mate.

I shoved that shit aside, once again. She was tired for fuck's sake. She wasn't interested in me. She only wanted me here because I was comforting her. I made the bad dreams go away. If not for that, she'd never want me anywhere near her bed. My wolf needed to shut the fuck up and go back to sleep. He wasn't getting any tonight, or any other night any time soon.

She was so hard to resist though. She was fucking dangerous to me at night, like this. She made it so hard to think. So hard to control myself. Especially smelling like that. What the hell had she done? Bathed in special 'fuck me' soap? She needed to fall asleep, fast. I couldn't lay in this bed with her much longer without doing something stupid. I had to close my eyes, focus on something other than fucking Jenna.

* * *

I felt the bed shift. Something wasn't right. What was it? There was too much light. Even at seven in the morning my room wasn't this bright. John bought me those special light-blocking curtains, because of my erratic sleeping schedule. And what was that amazing smell? Jenna. That was Jenna.

Shit.

I fell asleep in her bed.

Maybe if I was really quiet and moved really slowly I could get out before she realized that we had technically slept together again.

I cracked my eyes open slowly, hoping to find her sleeping peacefully beside me. I got quite the fucking surprise. She was sitting on the other side of the bed, fully dressed. Well fuck. There went my well thought out exit strategy. Shit was going to hit the fan.

Rubbing my eyes, I sat up. I took the time to stretch and look around too. Might as well wake up a little before I faced the music. Anderson was sitting up on a blanket on the floor. Happily playing with a couple soft blocks. He was proud of his new trick and refused to lay down now until he was too exhausted to see straight.

I spoke first, staring straight ahead through the bathroom and into my room, at the bed I _should_ have spent the night in. "Sorry. Didn't mean to fall asleep in here."

I felt the spike of embarrassment from her, so I shifted my eyes her direction. Her cheeks were bright red. "Well, um, thanks for calming me down. I should have known I'd have nightmares after what happened yesterday."

I turned to face her. "What happened?"

If my father had come back, I was going to kill him. I'd rip him up just like a leech.

Jenna rolled her eyes and clenched her firsts. A wave of anger washed over me. Damn, she was still fucking pissed. Whatever had happened, this was the angriest I had ever seen her. She'd been terrified of my father. Now she was enraged.

"That bitch, Bella, was over here yesterday."

My lip curled. I hated leeches and I know we were put on this earth to destroy them or whatever. But just once, I'd like to let the fucking thing win. We could put the bitch out on the other side of the border and let the bloodsucker have what she was here for. _Then_ we could take her out.

"What'd she want?"

Jenna shook her head. "She wanted someone to entertain her while Jake was out protecting the reservation from…"

Her voice trailed off. Tension buzzed through me as I felt her anger mounting. Her eyes turned to me, ablaze with fury.

"You knew." Fuck, that was the scariest thing ever. How the fuck did she make her voice so soft and quiet when she had that much rage swirling around in her?

I stood. I didn't know what the fuck she was talking about. But she was clearly blaming me for something.

"You knew there was someone trying to kill Bella and you let her walk into this house. You let her endanger my son. You fucking asshole!"

Oh shit. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. I was going to die. Yeah, I stood a good chance against a vampire, but I was pretty sure Jenna could find a way to kill me.

She walked around the bed, advancing on me. I wanted to run, but I figured I owed it to her to let her yell at me. Instead of yelling though, she reared back and punched me.

"Fuck! You broke my hand!"

"I broke it? You punched me!" I reached for her hand. I had to see if it was really broken.

She jerked her hand away from me and turned. "Just get dressed. We're going to be late for school."

"You need to go to a doctor, Jenna." Worry was eating at me. I tried peering over her shoulder, but she was hunching over too much for me to get a good look.

"I'll go to the school nurse. I'm not waiting for you, Asshole. In fact, I don't know if I want to share a ride with the Fucker who let the Bitch skip all around this house with a huge fucking target on her back the whole time. You can find your own damn way to school. And you and all your little secretive friends can get your own damn lunch. I'm not the fucking lunch lady anymore."

**

* * *

Jenna POV**

I poked at the ace bandage-wrapped lump experimentally and hissed in reaction. Paul had a really hard jaw. The nurse said my knuckle was probably cracked and that I should go to the hospital for an x-ray. I was going to wait until after school for that. No reason to miss class right? Taking notes was proving to be a bit difficult, what with all the throbbing.

The nurse had provided some Tylenol though. It wasn't nearly strong enough, but it was better than nothing. She gave me a dose just before school and another as lunch was starting. Then I slunk off to hide in the library. I was not about to face the lunch group. I had nothing polite to say to them. Paul had my message to pass along. If I tried to talk to any of them I would end up suspended from school. Or I'd break my hand beyond repair. I had the feeling all of them would take a punch as well as Paul. There was something freaky weird going on with those boys.

Some of them had tried talking to me earlier in the day, in the classes we shared. But I ignored them. I was a champion when it came to employing the cold shoulder. That was one lesson of Alan's that had truly stuck. The ability to tune out whatever was happening around me, or to me. It didn't matter how hard they tried to get my attention, I didn't budge.

I jumped as the library door slammed open. My heart fell as Jake stormed in, his eyes zeroing in on me immediately. He was fuming. What the hell was he so mad about? Well, it looked like I was about to find out. He was covering the ground between us awfully fast. The poor librarian looked like she was about to have a heart attack.

He slammed his hands down on the table. "What the hell did you do to Bella?"

I glared up at him. "I didn't do a damn thing to her. And I'm really sorry about that. I should have slapped the bitch."

He drew back, startled. Then he started to shake. "She hasn't done anything to you. You have no right to treat her like this. You have no idea what that poor girl has been through."

I jumped to my feet before he could continue his pity party. "Like hell! Every teenage girl gets at least one broken heart, Jacob. It's just part of growing up. She needs to get the hell over it already. He was just a fucking boy. And what the fuck? I have every right. My child could have died because of her. I should kill her myself."

His shaking worsened. "Don't you dare talk about her like that."

I shrugged, giving up on the conversation. "Fine. I don't plan on talking about or to her ever again. Because she's not welcome around me. Ever."

"That's not fair to Bella and you know it! It's not her fault someone is out to get her."

I reached down to grab my bag. "I don't care whose fault it is. Fault won't matter when the psycho shows up and starts murdering everyone. My son isn't going to be in the same room as the target. End of discussion. She's not allowed in my house. And I really don't appreciate the way all of you hid this from me. His safety is my only concern. That decision should not have been taken from me."

"Jenna," Jake's harsh voice rang out warningly as I neared the door. I turned to see him standing there, a bitter look on his face. I sighed, knowing whatever came out of his mouth was going to be unpleasant. He was still too angry. Too defensive. "You're making a mistake. Me and all of the guys, even Paul, we're still going to be out there standing behind Bella. If you refuse to be anywhere near her, where does that leave you? Alone. Defenseless."

"That's just sad, Jake. But I really didn't expect anything else."

I turned and walked out of the library, trying not to cry. I knew he was speaking from anger. I knew he would regret his words later. Jake loved me. I knew he did. He would come and apologize. Probably. He did love Bella, so it was a toss up. Maybe he loved her more than he loved me. Maybe I really would be left out in the cold, defenseless. Had I really expected any differently from family though?


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33**

**AN: Just gotta say that I got a real kick out of the reviews this last round. ;-)**

**Disclaimer: I have a real job, and writing fanfic is not it.**

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* * *

PPOV**

Jenna hadn't shown up at the table like usual. But, judging by Jacob's attitude, that was a good thing. He was all prepared to be her judge, jury and executioner over the whole Bella situation from the night before. I couldn't just sit back and let him rant about my Jenna like that. He would have the whole pack against her if he kept it up. Of course, it would take more than one lunch period. Most of the guys were firmly neutral. The younger ones were leaning toward giving Jenna the benefit of the doubt before they even heard what I had to say. But once I started in on Jake, they were all in her corner.

Jake and I nearly got into it right there in the cafeteria. By the end of it, we were both standing, yelling in each other's faces, shaking and too fucking close to phasing. The guys were getting worked up too. The younger ones were having a hard time staying in their seats. I could tell they wanted to join in. Between the four of us, I'm sure we could take the prick on. Jared had the presence of mind to break it up. Teachers were eyeing us warily. Since I had gained some control over my temper, there really hadn't been any fights at school involving any of the pack members. The teachers all knew that a fight involving any of the boys at our table would be bad. A fight involving half of us would be fucking brutal.

As soon as Jared broke us up, Jake had stormed off. I considered hunting Jenna down, but decided to let her have her day of quiet. She had avoided us for a reason. She didn't want to see any of us right now. I wasn't going to go against her wishes. It would probably be best to let her cool down anyway.

But sitting in our class, feeling the emotions rolling off of her, I knew that had been a mistake. I should have been there for her. Shortly after Jake had stormed off, and just a few minutes before class started, her pain had flooded me, nearly knocking me out of my seat at the lunch table. Jake had to have found her for her to be that upset. I was going to kill the fucker.

I watched her the entire class period. Her eyes would fill up with tears, and then she would blink them away before they could fall. I doubt she heard anything the teacher had to say. I know she didn't take any notes, not that she could have with that hand of hers. It was fucked up. She was going to the hospital. In fact, there was no way I was going to let her sit through the next class with the fucker who upset her this badly. I was taking her to the hospital as soon as this class was over. I'd throw her over my shoulder and walk out the door now if I thought she'd go along without upsetting her too much more. I just couldn't stand the thought of putting her through that much more emotional turmoil.

As soon as the bell rang I bolted into action. She was barely out of her seat before I was at her side.

"Look, you don't want to sit in class with Jake, right? Let me take you to the hospital. Please."

She raised tear-filled eyes to me. "So you aren't going to abandon me, too?"

"What?" Where the hell had that question come from?

She shook her head. "Never mind. Uh, yeah. I think that's a good idea."

I called Sam as we walked to the administration office to check out. He would have to call in to check me out. The school nurse had already told Jenna she needed to go to the hospital, and she had the ability to check herself out, so she wouldn't have any problems. Sam didn't take much convincing. He did make me promise to explain the situation in more detail later though. I would have to head over to his place as soon as Jenna was back home.

* * *

My hands were already shaking when I opened Sam's door and walked into his living room. Jenna had explained both conversations with Bella and Jake, in detail. She hadn't been able to help herself once the painkillers had kicked in. Her filters had shut down and everything on her mind had come flooding out of her mouth. And apparently, she'd been thinking of nothing but Jake and Bella.

To my surprise, most of the pack was lounging around the room, including Jake. A low growl escaped my chest as soon as my gaze landed on him. I wanted to tear his fucking throat out. That little prick was the reason my Jenna was upset.

"Paul!" Sam snapped. "What the hell is going on?"

I glared at Jake as I answered. "This asshole threatened my imprint."

Pack members burst to their feet, yelling and growling. Jake was on his feet, defending his honor. I couldn't really hear his exact words though over everyone else.

"Shut up!" Sam yelled.

There was immediate silence. It hadn't really been an Alpha order, but everyone remembered the lesson I had learned.

Sam turned to me with a grave expression. "That's a very serious accusation, Paul. Explain yourself."

I pointed to Jake. "He cornered her in the library. She doesn't want Bella around Anderson, because she doesn't want her son to be around the walking target. As his _mother_ that's her decision to make. But Jake here threw a little hissy fit and told her that the pack would be watching Bella's back, and since Jenna refused to be around Bella, Jenna would be completely defenseless. That sounds like a fucking threat to me."

Once again snarls and growls filled the room. Sam put two fingers between his lips and blew, filling the room with a shrill whistle. Each of us rushed to cover his sensitive ears. Sam turned to Jake, his expression full of disappointment.

"I really expected more from you, Jake. This isn't the way an Alpha should behave. She's just protecting her son. Like you're trying to protect Bella. Her first thought is to protect her child. Your first thought should be to protect this community as a whole, not one individual."

Jake crossed his arms defensively, lowering his head. "She's just been through so much. I really thought Jenna would have more compassion for her."

Embry threw his hands up. "She's your fucking cousin, Man! What about your compassion for her? And shit, she's been going through some kind of life and death crap. Give the girl a fucking break."

Ah, fuck. Embry had to go and open his mouth and talk about shit he didn't know anything about. I really thought he'd forgotten about that shit. He hadn't mentioned the life or death slip I'd made in forever. And he had to go and do it in front of everyone like this? Jenna was going to kill me.

Everyone turned to me. I shook my head. "It's nothing."

Jake was shaking. "Nothing? Life or death and it's nothing? What the fuck is going on with my cousin, Paul?"

I grit my teeth. "It's not my story to tell. And it's none of your business. Any of you."

Jenna was going to slit my throat in my sleep.

Sam was watching me closely. "Is she okay? Can you tell us that much?"

"She's fine, and she'll stay that way. If that fucker over there can refrain from being such an asshat when he's around her.

Jake glared at me, but kept his mouth shut. Sam seemed to accept my answer though. Of course, he knew what it was like with an imprint. If there really had been something wrong with her, I wouldn't be so calm about it. And he knew that.

Sam sighed. "This is going to make our job a lot tougher, but we need to keep a closer eye on Jenna now. Bella has spent a lot of time over at John's so her scent is concentrated there. If the leech does make it through our defenses, she's going to head for the Black residences first. I don't want Jenna to be alone at any time. I'll work out a schedule so someone is protecting Jenna anytime Paul is on patrol."

Something in my chest loosened. Part of me had feared that the pack would side with Jake, regardless of how unreasonable he was being. Now that I knew that Jenna wasn't being tossed aside, I was anxious to get back to her.

"Hey, Sam, I need to get back so Emily can head home. Jenna's too high on painkillers to take care of Little Man on her own right now."

Sam frowned. "What was that all about anyway? What'd you take her to the hospital for?"

Once again I was the focus of the room. I couldn't help but glare at Jake as I answered. "She was so mad about the fact that we all hid Bella's situation from her, she punched me and cracked two knuckles. She's got a brace for her hand and some drugs to manage the pain. I really do have to get home though."

Sam nodded. "You're relieved from your next patrol but only the next one. Go take care of her."

I rushed home to relieve Emily. Jenna was sitting on the couch, her head lolled back and eyes closed. They popped open when I walked in the door though. A smile broke out on her face as soon as she saw me. My heart warmed. I had never seen her looking so relaxed, or smiling so openly. It had to be the painkillers. They were lowering her inhibitions. So was this the way she would react to me normally, if she didn't have any walls built up?

"When the timer goes off, take the casserole out of the oven. The corn on the stove is keeping warm. And there's a salad in the fridge. Anderson has been fed, so he'll just need his evening bottle," Emily recited as she grabbed her purse, heading for the door.

"Thanks, Em. See you in the morning."

Jenna raised a hand sluggishly and waved in Emily's general direction, a second _after_ the front door closed.

As soon as Emily walked out the door, the day's events seemed to finally catch up with me. I collapsed on the couch next to Jenna, letting out a low groan. Anderson glanced up at me with a grin and a giggle. He loved when I made noises, especially growls. He quickly lost interest though when I didn't offer to entertain him with more funny sounds and turned his attention back to his toys on the blanket.

"How's your hand?"

She held it up in front of her. " S'fine. Where'd you go?"

I'd told her before I left. The pills must have been messing with her memory. "I had to stop by Sam's."

Her face scrunched up into a frown. "Why'd you go over there? Buncha assholes."

I chuckled. "Yeah. Well those assholes were worried about you. They wanted to know how the visit to the hospital went."

"Oh." She stared at me, confused. "Jake said they wouldn't be my friend anymore."

I was going to rip his head right off of his shoulders. Her expression was completely unguarded. I felt like I could drown in the pain in her eyes. "Jake was wrong."

The pain was slowly replaced with relief. "Really? They'll still be my friend?"

I nodded, my heart breaking at the expression on her face. Tears filled her eyes, slowly overflowing to drip down her cheeks. Why the hell was she crying? I said they _would _be her friend still.

I moved slowly, afraid she'd misinterpret my moves as I slid an arm around her shoulder and pulled her into my chest. "Hey, don't be sad."

She chuckled, sniffling at the same time. "I'm not sad! I'm happy."

I shook my head. Women were confusing as hell.

She allowed me to hold her for a few more seconds, then she pulled away, wiping her face. I let her go reluctantly. It was encouraging though, that she had stayed for any length of time at all. It was progress.

Jenna pushed herself to her feet. I darted my hands out, grabbing her hips as she wobbled. Yeah, so I could have grabbed her arms, or higher up on her back or something. But damn her hips were nice. And my hands fit just perfectly. Those hips were _made_ for my hands.

"Woah, why's the house spinning?"

I chuckled. She sounded genuinely confused. "Cause you're stoned, Babe."

She frowned at me.

I stood up, moving my hands to her shoulders so I could gently push her back into the couch. "You took some pills for your hand, remember? So it would stop hurting."

She brought her injured hand up to her face, staring at it in bewilderment. "But, it doesn't hurt."

I couldn't get the smirk off my face. "That's good. Means the pills are working. Now, what did you need? I'll get it for you. I don't think you need to be walking around."

"I need to do my homework."

A laugh burst from me before I could stop it. "Oh, I don't think that's a good idea right now, Jenna. Maybe after you eat."

She crossed her arms, crushing her breasts together, creating a little line of cleavage that screamed for my attention. I forced my gaze to stay on her face as she frowned. It was the cutest little expression.

"I have to do my homework though. It's due tomorrow."

"The food should help clear your system. And if it doesn't, I'm sure you can get an extension. They'll understand once we explain the situation."

She opened her mouth, but I didn't get to hear if it was to agree or argue. The buzzer for the casserole interrupted. She started to jump up again, but I pushed her back into the couch yet again. Gently of course.

"I'll get it. You stay here. We can eat in the living room for one night."

I quickly filled plates for both of us. When I handed a plate to her, an overwhelming feeling of accomplishment filled me, which was ridiculous. I hadn't lifted a finger to cook the fucking food. I just dished it up. But something about feeding my mate, ensuring that she was taken care of, it made me feel proud of myself. Prouder than I had ever felt before.

I sat down next to her, so close our legs were lightly brushing against each other. The rest of the evening was spent relishing the comfort that came from being in such close proximity to my mate. Every so often tension would creep up on me and a voice would try to whisper a warning in my ear. But I shoved the foreboding aside. I could worry about all that shit later. I needed to enjoy the peace while it lasted

Because Jenna was going to be fucking pissed as hell when she realized that Embry had unintentionally made her the focus of the entire pack. School was going to be brutal for her. Jenna had no idea what she would be walking into the next day. The pack was worried about her now, and those fuckers were the very definition of overprotective.

**

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AN: I am soooo fucking sorry for being so late with this update. I don't have a good excuse. I was playing on LJ and chat. I'm a lazy bum. That and I just couldn't get this chapter to do what I wanted. You have no idea how many times my fingers hovered over the delete key for this whole chapter. I was **_**this**_** close to deleting it all and starting over from scratch. But then I would have taken another week to post, and I figured you guys would have formed a posse to come find me.**


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter 34**

**AN: Sorry this took longer than usual. I blame my MIA muse, that bitch. She skipped town again. If you see her, tell her to get her ass back home or I'm putting an ad in the paper for a replacement. **

**Disclaimer: No profit, no claim to Twilight characters. I'm keeping Jenna though. I really like her. **

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Jenna POV**

This was becoming just a bit ridiculous.

Quil was hovering at my locker, waiting for me to show up for the day. Every morning, one of the boys was there, waiting for me. They refused to accept that I was perfectly capable of carrying my own books. I had one good hand and a backpack. I could handle this. But no, every morning Paul would walk with me to my locker and hand my bag over to whoever the day's babysitter was, ignoring my complaints.

Quil sent me a small smile, his gaze scanning my face quickly. "How are you feeling today?"

And that was another thing. It took me awhile to notice, because I'd been on the painkillers for a couple weeks, but now that I wasn't taking them any longer I could see that everyone was treating me weirdly. Like I had a permanent case of PMS and they were afraid to say the wrong thing for fear of my reaction. Or like I was sick or something.

The only logical conclusion I could come up with was they were reacting to my 'talk' with Bella. They were afraid I would blow up at them for hiding something so important from me. And they had good reason to fear. I was still angry about that, as evidenced by the fact that they were still eating off of school lunch trays at noon every day.

"I'm fine," I responded, my tone edged with annoyance. I was tired of answering the same damn question every day.

Paul handed over my bag. "See you at lunch."

My irritation ratcheted up as he walked away. Quil was watching me, analyzing my every move. I cocked an eyebrow at him. "What?"

He shook his head quickly. "Nothing. Let's get to class."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "What's going on, Quil?"

He turned and started walking toward my first class. "I don't know what you're talking about."

I hurried to catch up as his long legs devoured huge chunks of the tiled floor. "You know what I'm talking about. Why is everyone acting so weird?"

Quil shrugged. "You're imagining things. Got any plans for spring break?"

I frowned, my mind scrambling. Had that much time really passed? Was it already time for spring break? How long had I been on painkillers? I glanced down at my bandaged hand. Stupid fucking knuckles. Those damn Loritabs were giving me hell. With my history of drug abuse, getting my body to accept that I wasn't going to be taking the pills forever was proving to be a little difficult. Those white pills had been all I could think about for awhile. Now it seemed like I had been caught in their haze longer than I had realized.

So Quil's question was easy to answer. "No plans. How about you?"

He shook his head. "Just working."

I frowned. That was still a sore topic with me. Paul, and all of the boys really, were beyond exhausted trying to protect Bella from her crazed stalker. As far as I was concerned, the situation was beyond their limits and it was time for them to call in someone with the ability to settle it. But Paul refused to sit down and talk over the situation with me. As soon as I mentioned her name or his work for the council, he would shut me out. It was frustrating. It was more than frustrating. It made me want to grab a cast iron skillet and slam it into his head, repeatedly.

Quil led the way into our class, setting my bag next to my chair before claiming the empty chair next to it. Jared and Embry were noticeably absent. So it must be their turn to skip school. Ridiculous. How were they going to learn anything if they were wearing themselves down to nothing and missing all of this school? How did the council justify asking this of children? It was damn irresponsible of them.

* * *

"Hey Jenna, how are you today?" Seth asked, concern dripping from his words.

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, or choke him. It was difficult though.

Collin took the seat next to Seth, his eyes instantly scanning my face. I was so fucking tired of that look. Were they afraid I would show up suddenly covered in tattoos and piercings? I felt my lips curling up into a smirk. I should dig out my old photos. I had brought one or two with me. The boys might get quite the shock to see me with beads in my nose and hoops in my eyebrows. I had never found a hair dye that could overcome the natural black of my hair though. And I had _so_ wanted electric blue hair at that stage of my life.

Jake slid into the seat next to me, handing over a soda. No matter how rocky our relationship became, he always handed over that soda. I sent him a smile, which he returned as he did the visual check. What the hell were they all looking for?

Brady dropped his over-loaded tray onto the table and threw himself into his chair. "How's your day going, Jenna? You doing okay?"

"Okay, that's it!" I grabbed my fork and pointed it at him. "The next time one of you jackasses asks me how I am, he's getting a fork in the eye."

His eyes widened as he held his hands up in surrender. "Geez, calm down. If I knew you needed a Midol I wouldn't have asked."

"What did you just say?" I asked quietly, anger building steadily. That little prick better not have said what I knew I had just heard. I was definitely going to stab him with the fork, but it was going to be in a much more sensitive area than his eye.

A warm hand slid along my back in a soothing circle. The anger cooled instantly as Paul's warm voice oozed into me from very close to my ear. "I'll take care of him later. You don't need to be suspended though. Put the fork down."

I turned my head slightly to see Paul's face inches from my own, an amused glint warming his eyes. "But he will pay?"

His eyes hardened just the slightest bit as they flicked in Brady's direction. "Most definitely."

Instead of setting the utensil down, I stabbed it into my salad, imagining Brady in the lettuce's place. "Good. Make sure he screams."

Paul chuckled. "Sure thing."

"Fuck," Brady muttered under his breath quietly.

Quil shook his head, picking up his first slice of pizza. "Dude, you don't make references to _that_ time of the month. Especially if the chick is already pissed. Even I know that."

"So what are your plans for spring break, Jenna," Kim asked from the end of the table.

She always looked kind of lonely when Jared was missing from her side. It was like the two of them were literally two halves of the same person. Sam and Emily were the same way. I'd never seen couples so attached to each other. So in sync. It sounded stupid, and if I hadn't watched them for several months I would scoff at it myself, but I really did think the two of them were going to make it. It was real love. Until watching the two of them, I hadn't even believed it existed. I sure as hell wouldn't have believed that a couple of high school sweethearts were the real deal.

I shrugged her question off. "Don't really have plans. What are all you guys doing?"

"Working. Sleeping," Seth mumbled.

The others nodded their heads, weariness slipping over the group at the mention of work. I sighed. This had to end. They were killing themselves, probably literally. But since I really didn't feel like starting a war in the lunch room, I kept my mouth shut. At the sound of my sigh, the hand on my back began moving in that soothing circle again. I hadn't even realized that it was still resting there. I glanced questioningly at Paul, but he was concentrating on eating his lunch one-handed.

* * *

I woke with a start, my heart pounding, a scream working its way up my throat. Warm hands were brushing my tear soaked hair from my face. I launched myself into his bare chest. This was becoming a nightly routine. When he wasn't out working for the council, Paul was right there at my side when I awoke, doing his best to soothe me. In the morning I was embarrassed as fuck, but in the dark of the night, there was nothing but desperate need to curl into him, to latch onto the comfort he offered. He chased the nightmares away.

"Shhh, Jenna. I'm here," his voice rumbled and echoed in his chest.

I closed my eyes and used my grip around his torso to pull myself as close to him as I could get. Breathing deeply, I pulled as much of his scent into my lungs as they could hold. Even his smell was soothing. It didn't matter that I had seen this boy beat the shit out of people. His gruff attitude and intimidating scowl didn't make any difference at all. Everything about him was comforting to me. I didn't understand it, but in the middle of the night, when I woke up screaming with tears streaming down my face, I really didn't care _why_. I just needed him to hold me.

Paul shifted, pulling back. Panic shot through me. I tightened my hold around him, holding on for dear life. "No! Don't leave me."

He stopped pulling back. A large hand smoothed my hair down, starting at the top of my head and moving down, continuing downward until it rested at the base of my spine. "Honey, I will never leave you. I was just getting more comfortable. Can we lay down?"

I gave a half sob, half laugh, embarrassment shooting through me. I was so incredibly pathetic. What was wrong with me? I was acting like a three year old having a nightmare in the middle of the night. Not like a girl almost fully grown. I was a mother for fuck's sake! I should have a bit more composure over myself than this.

Loosening my grip, I started to pull back. "I'm sorry. I'm keeping you from sleeping, and I know how tired you are. You can go back to bed."

"Like hell. You're still upset. I'm not going anywhere."

I sat up on my knees, wiping the moisture from my cheeks. "I'm fine. All better."

Paul rolled his eyes before grabbing a pillow, positioning it against the headboard. He leaned against it then held his hands out toward me. "Liar. I know you don't feel any better. Now come here."

I stared at him, only the dim light from a night light in the bathroom illuminating his face. He needed his sleep. I shouldn't be so selfish. But he was offering, and something in me was crying out for the comfort he offered. No matter how loud the cautioning voice in my head yelled, that needy little bitch inside me whined louder. With a smile I crawled over to him and settled against his chest, closing my eyes with a small sigh of contentment.

**

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AN: I am well aware that this is far too short..and really nothing to advance the plot. Again, blame the missing muse. I've now officially name her That Bitch. But I _do_ have actual plot planned for the next couple chapters...now I just need the time and energy to write them.**


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter 35**

**Disclaimer: I make my money playing with other people's money. I play with Steph's characters for fun.**

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PPOV**

I ran the perimeter, my nerves on edge, my eyes scanning the trees warily, my nose analyzing every scent I encountered for traces of any accomplices that red-headed cunt may have brought along. Maybe she was the distraction while others tried to sneak in and nab Bella from Billy's house. Not that I would mind so much if they succeeded, if it wouldn't have meant they were so close to my family. So I would patrol, and I would keep everyone on the reservation safe, even Bella. Part of my mind was understandably distracted by my pack brothers' hunt as they chased their quarry. They were closing in on her. My heart rate jumped. If they could catch her then my life would be so much easier. I could focus on Jenna and Anderson.

And I needed all the focus I could use in that area. Sam had finally given me a deadline. If Jenna didn't know by the end of the week, then he was going to force my hand. And as he had reasoned, the sooner I told her over this long break, the better. If I told her early in the week, she would have the rest of spring break to get over the shock, before she had to protect our secret at school. He had a point. It really wouldn't be fair to drop the fur bomb on her and then send her right back to high school. She would undoubtedly need a few days to process. And maybe by the end of those few days she'd even be talking to me again. That, or she would be all moved out.

My steps faltered as I encountered an unexpected scent. What the hell was she doing out here? She should be in the house, safely tucked away. Not running around in the woods, spreading her scent around, begging to be eaten. Stupid bitch. With a growl I turned toward the ocean. I was going to drag her wandering ass back to Billy's and make her stay there, if I had to tie her down and nail the door shut. I was just coming within sight of the cliffs when an ear-shattering scream tore through the air.

Adrenaline shot through me as I picked up the pace. I was vaguely aware of the guys' disappointment as the bitch slipped by them yet another fucking time and dove into the ocean. But I blocked their thoughts as much as I could. I had to get to the screamer. Her identity and any personal dislike I had for her didn't matter. Someone needed help and it was my job to protect the people on this reservation.

I crashed through the underbrush, skidding out onto the cliff ledge overlooking the ocean. Scanning the cliff to either side revealed a distinct lack of people. I turned my attention to the ocean. She had to have fallen in. I growled. Paws would do no fucking good in this situation. I had to phase back. But the adrenaline and the need to save someone was keeping the wolf at the forefront. What the hell was I supposed to do? Bite the bitch and drag her to shore? Would Jenna beat the shit out of me if I left teeth marks in the girl? Even if she did hate Bella?

She wasn't surfacing, and there wasn't a scent trail leading away from the edge of the cliff. I would have to go in, wolf or man. Since it looked like the wolf wasn't letting go, wolf it was. I jumped straight down, figuring she wouldn't have gone for distance if she fell.

I'd made the jump hundreds of times over the years, but never as a wolf. The fall wasn't much different. But damn the fur got heavy fast once I hit that water. I turned my head in every direction. I needed to find this chick fast and get out of the water. Who knew it was such a bad idea to swim with a fur coat? Finally I had the brilliant fucking idea to look _down_. And there she was. Hair floating around her head, face slack, body completely relaxed. Shit.

I dove deeper. Carefully, I grasped her collar with my teeth and began hauling her to the surface. Scarily, for a moment there she had no reaction. Then she started fighting back, pulling against me. If I had my human mouth, and you know, I wouldn't end up sucking in a lung-full of water, I'd tell her I was trying to save her stupid ass and to stop fighting me. That bitch was going flat crazy too. Anger shot through me as her collar started to rip, I could feel it giving. Stupid bitch was going to keep us in this water long enough to send her into hypothermia. Was she _trying_ to kill herself?

And then she went limp, which kind of made me miss the fighting. I really didn't want to drag a corpse to shore. Finally, we broke through to the surface. Growling lowly with anxiety, I pulled her slowly toward the shore. I would have loved to go faster, but I had to contend with her dead weight and my soaking fur. She looked small, but she sure felt a lot heavier now than I wanted to deal with.

Just as the bottom rose to meet my paws, I felt someone coming up behind me. My hackles started to rise, but one whiff reassured me. I wasn't being attacked from behind while I was preoccupied. Jake had obviously seen what was going on and shown up to help me. Or Bella really. He couldn't care less about me at the moment, I was sure.

He took the limp girl from my arms, leaving me to fend for myself as he rushed her to the shore. Finally relieved of my burden, the adrenaline began to ease, and I was able to phase back. Quickly untying my shorts from my leg, I pulled them on and approached the scene on the rocky shore. Jake was hovering anxiously over Bella, his face clouded with worry as she spluttered and coughed the salt water from her lungs. Shit, she really had almost drowned.

Jake shot a distressed glance my way, "she's freezing. Her lips are turning blue."

Shit. Adrenaline started pumping through me again, pricking the wolf's attention. He immediately started whispering in my ear that I needed to do something, help her somehow.

"Come on. I'm sure Jenna will give her some dry clothes."

Okay, so I wasn't really _sure_, but my mate wouldn't turn down someone in need. Would she? Jake didn't question me though. He nodded once before slipping his arms under Bella, scooping her up. We ran through the forest, ever mindful of the shivering girl in Jake's arms.

As soon as John's house came into view, I took the lead. Jenna would probably react better if I was the first one through the door. Her head whipped up as I burst through the door. Her eyes darted over me, assessing my wet form quickly, causing her brow to furrow.

"What happened?"

"There was a little accident with Bella. She needs to borrow some clothes," I announced as I felt Jake shoving me further into the room.

Jenna's eyes narrowed as they moved to the couple entering the house behind me. I groaned. I'd seen that look before. Right before she punched me.

"She almost died, Jenna," I rushed to say, before she could do anything she would regret later. "She was drowning."

Jenna crossed her arms, her lips pressed firmly together for a long moment.

"So why did you bring her here? I would think the hospital would be far more appropriate."

**

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Jenna POV**

I struggled to hold onto the anger burning through me. But damn. The girl almost drowned. Even I couldn't be mad in the face of near death. Sighing, I lowered my arms.

"I've got some warm clothes for her. She needs to take a hot shower, to warm up."

Jake sent me a huge smile, making my generosity totally worth it. He hadn't sent me that heart-warming smile since our little falling out. I shifted my gaze from my cousin to the girl in his arms. She was soaking wet and shivering. Her large brown eyes were watching me from her position cuddled into Jake's chest.

I led Jake to my room, because he had no intention of putting the girl down until he absolutely had to. He even started to walk into the bathroom. I put an end to his creepy stalker vibe there.

"She can undress and shower herself, Jake," I stated firmly.

"Oh…yeah…um…I'll just be waiting in the kitchen."

I narrowed my eyes. "Why don't you guys go play some pool or something? Go take a look at those bikes maybe?"

Jake sent me an odd look. "Bells and I picked up the bikes a couple weeks ago. I've been teaching her to ride."

Damn, I really had missed a lot while I was on those pills. My son hadn't graduated high school while I was doped up, right?

"Just put her down and get out of here."

I watched her carefully for signs that I would need to step in and help her after Jake left the room. I didn't really want to, of course. I was still angry. I didn't want to feel anything but hate for the girl. But she looked so helpless with blue lips and shaking hands as she fumbled with the buttons on her shirt.

I stepped around her to turn the shower on. "You're already soaked. Might as well get in fully dressed. You can strip after you've warmed up enough to work the buttons. That way you don't have to ask for help."

And I wouldn't have to give it.

She nodded, her teeth clacking loudly as they began to chatter. As soon as she stepped under the hot water, I laid a towel out and stepped out of the room. Only once I was sitting on the edge of my bed did I start to wonder what had actually happened. Why was the girl wet? Why was Paul wet? He said she had almost drowned. Curiosity flared up in me. Had Paul saved her? An unreasonable sense of pride filled me at the thought that just maybe he had.

That was ridiculous. I had no right to feel proud of Paul's alleged heroics. Shaking my head at my nonsensical reaction, I went in search of dry clothes for Bella. I may not have liked the girl, but that didn't mean I would be able to live with myself if she died of hypothermia.

I was just pulling out a soft, extra-thick sweat suit when I heard the shower stop. That had been shorter than I expected. She walked out a few minutes later, the towel wrapped around her. She still looked like shit, but at least she wasn't shivering any longer. Studying her, I could tell that she still wasn't resting well. The dark circles under her eyes and the weight she had lost over the months made her look like a terminal patient.

"Here are some clothes. Do you want some coffee or tea? Or I could make some hot chocolate."

"Hot chocolate sounds nice."

I couldn't stop thinking about her appearance as I heated the water for her. But it was better than dwelling on the irritated feeling that she was encroaching on a tradition that belonged to Paul and I alone. _You're being stupid. Lots of people use hot chocolate to calm themselves down._

I was so wrapped up in my internal argument her appearance startled me and I sloshed hot water over my hand.

"Dammit," I hissed, pulling my hand away.

"Oh! I'm sorry." She was quick to apologize.

I waved her words away. I should have been paying more attention. My son was on the floor just a few feet away after all. I should be more aware of my surroundings when he was out and about.

The room grew quiet while she sipped her drink. Quiet, but tense. I couldn't help but analyze her every movement. She was like a horrible car crash. I couldn't look away. She was ruining her life, pining after some guy who clearly didn't want her. He probably wasn't even worth her attention. They never were.

I narrowed my eyes. "So, what happened today?"

Bella blushed bright red. "I, uh, kinda jumped off the cliffs."

That floored me. How the hell does a person 'kinda jump' off a cliff? Either you do or you don't. There is no kind of. Unless she'd fallen and was now trying to save face. She was nearly a grown-ass woman. She should be competent enough to stay away from the edge of a fucking cliff.

She glanced up and must have caught my look because she rushed to explain. "Jake was going to take me, but he's been so busy. So I decided to do it by myself."

"And how exactly did Paul get involved?" I pushed down the image of Paul and Bella cavorting in the water. Huh, was that _jealousy_?

She looked down at the hot chocolate in her hands. "I guess I screamed on the way down? And then I didn't come back up when I hit the water. I must have lost consciousness. Jake said something about the water being too rough while he was carrying me here. Paul pulled me to shore. And Jake performed CPR to get me breathing again."

I stared at her for a long moment. Paul had jumped in after her into rough waters. She was ten kinds of crazy, and hell if I was going to let her take out any of my friends while she did herself in.

"Why the hell were you cliff diving, alone? That's way too dangerous. Obviously."

She bristled at my tone. Or my words. Both could be considered rude. "Dangerous is kind of my thing lately. You could call me an adrenaline junky."

Or I could just call her a fucking idiot.

"What? You're trying to kill yourself now? Because some stupid teenage boy broke your poor little heart? That's just pathetic."

Bella set her mug down on the counter. "Thank you for the use of your shower, and the warm clothes. I think I should be getting home now. Charlie will be expecting his dinner soon."

I don't know why I couldn't just let her leave. But no, I had to scoop up my son and follow her out the door. Her stupidity just made me so incredibly angry.

"He's not worth it, you know. No boy is. There's nothing special about him."

Bella spun around with a bitter little laugh. "That's where you're wrong. He is very special. I'm the one who wasn't special. Not enough to keep him."

I wanted to strangle her. Why couldn't she see how pathetic she was being? "Just because one jerkwad didn't stay with you for all of eternity doesn't mean you aren't worthy of love. What's it going to take to get through to you, _Precious_. He's just the first ass to come along and break your heart. It'll happen again. It's just part of life. You have to stop wallowing in it and move on already. Stop being such a whiny little princess and grow up."

Her chin began to quiver. It only intensified my desire to slap her. "You don't understand. No one understands! There's a giant hole in me! It hurts to breath. I can't even bear to hear his name. I-"

I was sick of hearing her, so I cut her off. "Oh, boo-fucking-hoo. You want to hear real pain? Real pain is being raped by your step father almost every night at six years old because the man says you need to learn how to please your future husband. Real pain is watching him beat your mother nearly to death when she discovers the 'lessons' a couple years later and tries to put a stop to them.

"Real pain is becoming a fucking alcoholic at twelve, just to make the nightmares stop for a few hours so you can get some damn sleep. It's being so stoned and drunk as a teenager that you can't remember _Junior High_, at all. Pain is being so fucked up you don't have any idea who the father of your child is, and you know the list is so long it's pointless to even start looking. Pain is making the decision to turn your own mother in to the cops for her drug use, because your son doesn't need to be raised in that kind of environment. That's pain. So you aren't going to get an ounce of pity out of me just because your little boyfriend broke up with you."

As soon as I stopped talking, I heard a weird noise off by the garage/game room. Was that heavy breathing? What the fuck were the guys doing over there? I glanced over and frowned. Paul was standing in the doorway, his face frozen in a grimace. His teeth were clenched, his eyes narrowed. His hands were fisted at his side. The oddest thing about his appearance, other than the heavy breathing of course, was the fact that his entire body was shaking.

He took a step out of the doorway, but it was an oddly jerky motion. Like the monster in the old Frankenstein movies. Once he was out of the way, Jake moved into the doorway. He looked like he was just as angry as Paul. Had they been fighting in there?

"Shit," Bella muttered.

"Wha-" I started to ask. And then Paul exploded.

…

What. The. Fuck.

How the hell did Paul explode and change into a wolf? And why wasn't anyone screaming and running for their lives? In fact, Jake and Bella didn't appear surprised at all. For my part, I was too shocked to move. But as soon as my brain and my legs were on speaking terms again, my ass was gone. Why the hell weren't they running?

The Paul wolf looked at me for a long moment before giving an agonized howl. Then he/it ran off into the woods. Jake was breathing heavily now. He glanced my way.

"I'm gonna go make sure he's okay." It seemed like he had trouble forcing the words out.

And then Jake exploded too and ran off after the first wolf.

What the fuck. Was this something they could all do now? Was Bella next? Did John and Billy know how to do that? Was I surrounded by a town of wolf-men? _They're called werewolves, Dipshit. Or shapeshifters._

Bella approached me slowly, kind of like a person would approach a stray dog, unsure if the dog would bite them out of fear. She held out both hands. What the hell was she doing?

"Let me take him from you."

Oh. I was still holding Anderson. Shit. I'd forgotten I even still had him. Right. Maybe I should let her hold him for now.

I passed my child over. Anderson went willingly, not really caring who held him, as long as someone was willing to entertain him.

Bella sent me a sympathetic smile. "Why don't we go inside? I'm sure it'll be awhile before they get back. And you've probably got some questions."

* * *

I was just pulling the pizza from the oven when Paul and Jake walked in the door, both looking worn out. Jake started looking around the room instantly, but Paul's eyes zeroed in on me.

"She went home," I informed my cousin without taking my eyes off Paul.

I couldn't reconcile the image of a wolf bursting from his skin with the sight before me now. He looked like an ordinary, if huge, teenage boy. A very anxious teenage boy. Was he waiting for my reaction? Well, he would have to wait awhile longer, because I didn't know what my reaction was yet. Bella had explained the whole vampires and werewolves thing to me. And as an aside, holy fuck, she was dating a fucking vampire? Girl had issues. But what really worried me, even after the part about all of my friends growing fur and killing vampires, was that there was still more to come. That's right folks, that's not all. Bella wouldn't tell me what the rest was, though. She said only Paul could tell me.

Jake frowned at me. "You let her go home alone? There's someone trying to kill her. She can't go off alone!"

"She's old enough to make these decisions herself. I couldn't stop her, Jake."

He glared at me before spinning around and storming out, slamming the door against the wall on his way out. That boy was such a drama queen.

"Are you okay," Paul asked softly.

I nodded, not quite able to meet his gaze.

"I'm sure you're confused as hell. We can sit down and talk about this."

I shrugged. "Bella explained everything."

Paul frowned. "She did? Everything?"

"Well…she said that there was something you would have to tell me yourself."

Paul grunted, leaning against the counter a few feet away from me, settling in for a chat. Hopefully he would break it to me easy, whatever he had to share with me. I just couldn't take anymore surprises. I had no grace left in me for the day.

"Wolves have this thing called imprinting. It's where we find our soul-mate I guess you'd say, and we mate for life. We know instinctually who the mate is. And you're mine."

_Or_ we could go with the fast and painful, like ripping off a band-aid. Holy fuck. He was going to pull the soul-mates bullshit on me? I did not want to deal with this shit after the day I had. So I chose not to.

"Enjoy the pizza. I'm going to bed."

I scooped up Anderson, who had already eaten thankfully, and started for the door.

"Is that all you have to say? We need to talk about this, Jenna," Paul called out after me.

I replied by flipping him off as I continued walking away. It may not have been mature, but I didn't have any tact left in me for the night. I'd try again in the morning.

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**AN: Sorry this update is late. RL got in the way again. Anyway, hope you enjoy. :-)**


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter 36**

**Disclaimer: Nope, still not responsible for Twilight.**

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PPOV**

I paced up and down the hall for two hours, arguing with my wolf. He wanted to tear that fucking door off the damn hinges. She'd locked both doors to her room, the one leading out to the hall and the one to the connecting bathroom. I gave up on begging her to open the door to me after an hour of standing there, alternating between demanding and pleading with her. Neither one got me anywhere.

My Jenna was stubborn. Eventually weariness pulled me to the floor. But I refused to give up. So I settled with my back against the wall across from her bedroom door, waiting for her to open up. She had to come around. She had to accept the imprint. No one had ever rejected it before. I didn't even know if it was possible.

Of course, Jenna would be the one to prove it possible. She wasn't going to be forced into anything she didn't want. My hands clenched into fists. I wanted to rail against the thoughts. I wanted to throw punches until the traitorous thoughts fled in fear. But punching holes through her uncle's walls probably wasn't the best way to ease Jenna's anxieties about our situation. I needed to reassure her that everything would be fine. Not prove to her that she was tied to a fucking psychopath for the rest of her life.

Drawing my knees up I rested my elbows on my legs and my head in my hands. As soon as I closed my eyes, my mind began to conjure images of what Jenna's childhood must have been like. I jerked my head up with a growl. I couldn't think about that unless I wanted to wolf out in John's hallway.

Jake and I couldn't help but overhear Jenna and Bella's conversation. As soon as the girls had started raising their voices, we'd headed closer to the door. Jake had to be there to make sure Jenna didn't hurt his precious Bella's fragile feelings, and I was there to keep the Fucker in line so he didn't turn into an asshat and hurt Jenna again. We'd both forgotten about our protective intentions as soon as Jenna lost her cool and started spewing details about her past though. I barely made it out of the building. Jake was shoving me ahead of him, reassuring me the whole time that she was safe now. No one was hurting her now and never would again. His words were the only thing that had kept me from going berserk.

I tried to make it to the woods before I lost my shit. I didn't want Jenna to find out like that. Her words were just too much though. The pain in her voice, and the mental images... Fuck, they made me want to hunt down every person who had known her as a child. They all had to die. They were all responsible for the pain she had to suffer through and none of them deserved any mercy. No wonder John had looked so sickened when he discovered her history. No wonder he hadn't wanted to be the one to tell me. He probably would have been an unintentional casualty of my rage, and he had been smart enough to know that.

I let my head fall back against the wall behind me with a thud. Hell. I hadn't meant to shove all of this wolf shit into Jenna's face so rough like this. I meant to ease her into it. Maybe start with the legends. Then have Jake help me break it to her easy. She loved Jake. How could she not? He was family. She'd forgive family for being a freak. I was fucked though. Clearly she had no intention of giving me any slack. She walked out on me as soon as I mentioned imprinting.

My heart clenched. She didn't want me. That much was obvious. She seemed to be handling the wolf part fairly well. It was the imprinting that sent her running to her room. Searing pain tore through my chest. Rubbing my chest didn't ease the pain but I had to do something, so I continued to run my hand over my aching heart as I sat on the floor, my eyes glued to her locked door.

**

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Jenna POV**

I didn't want to leave my room. He was out there. He had been all night. That freaky Paul GPS was throbbing painfully. Only now I knew that it wasn't my imagination. It had to have something to do with that fucking imprint business he mentioned. I glared at the door, a hand knotting in the fabric of my shirt over the ache in my chest. Fucking fairy tales bursting into life in front of me.

Anderson slammed a little fist against my arm, squealing in anger. "Na-na-na-na-na-na."

Damn. He wasn't going to go much longer without eating. And the food was in the kitchen. Unless I wanted to attempt crawling out the window with my child, I was going to have to pass the werewolf in the hall to get to the food. One glance at my child's face had me on my feet. I couldn't ignore his needs just because I preferred to hide from confrontation.

The first thing I saw when I opened the door was Paul's anxious face. He was standing right there, leaning against the wall across from my door. The knot in my stomach doubled in size as soon as we made eye contact. He would want to talk about the situation, I just knew it. But I had no idea what I was going to say to him. Did he really expect me to believe that we were soul-mates? Settle down with him for life? Marry him? Have a little pack of wolf cubs with him? That was insanity.

Paul pushed away from the wall. "How'd you sleep?"

"Fine," I muttered as I walked past him.

He immediately moved to follow on my heels. I grit my teeth, to keep from snapping something rude at him. Now he was going to follow on my heels like a stray mutt? I could not take a lifetime of that. Thankfully he didn't ask anything as I led our little parade to the kitchen. I had no hope of keeping a civil tongue in my head without first applying liberal doses of caffeine.

He was even smart enough to make the coffee while I fed Anderson. Could be that he was attempting to prove that there were some perks to keeping him around. But that's what Starbucks was for. Getting my own personal wolf-man was going to a bit of an extreme just to have fresh coffee on hand every morning.

He waited until Anderson's tummy was full and my first cup was empty before he opened his mouth again. "I'm sorry about yesterday afternoon. About the way you found out. I just…I got so angry…I couldn't help it. I tried to get away before you saw."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "In other words, you would have continued lying to me."

Paul looked away. "I was going to tell you. I've been trying. For months! I just…what could I say? What were the right words to use to tell you that you're stuck with a fucking monster? Huh? You tell me how I could have broken the news to you in a way that wouldn't have you packing up all your shit and leaving me."

He shook his head, anger marring his features. "I can't say anything right, Jenna. You don't want to hear anything I have to say. You don't want to give me any slack."

I frowned, clamping my mouth shut before I could say something I would regret. My first instinct was to fight back. To defend myself. But I knew that he was only telling the truth. I didn't want to hear his side. I had been hoping that sleeping on it would give me some clarity. All I'd gotten for my efforts were some seriously twisted sheets, dark circles under my eyes, and bed-head, not to mention grogginess the likes of which I hadn't experienced since Anderson was a newborn. Sleep hadn't really been part of the experience.

"Just give me a chance, that's all I'm asking," Paul pleaded.

His soft voice pulled at my heart. I felt myself softening against my better judgement. I stomped down the desire to pull him into my arms and soothe his pain. Where the fuck had that come from? Was it the mother in me or the fabled 'imprint' influence he mentioned the night before?

I needed to know more about this imprinting before I could make up my mind. "Is the imprint voluntary?"

Paul shook his head, his eyes filling with hope. I was finally talking about it.

"Do you have any say in who gets picked? Or is it completely random?"

"I guess it appears random to people, but the imprint is always the best match for the wolf," Paul rushed to explain.

"How do you _know_ though? If you're forced into this, how do you know that she's the perfect girl for you? You have nothing to base that on."

Paul growled in frustration, running his hands through his hair. "I just _know_. Look at the way we got along before you knew! Everything was perfect!"

"Everything was a fucking lie!" I yelled, startling Anderson.

He let out a yell of his own, throwing a cracker to the floor from the highchair.

I latched onto the image of my son. "What about Anderson? How does he play into this little scenario of yours? How does he affect your perfect little world? Your supposed mate already has a child."

Paul shot my son a look, his expression softening slightly as he looked at the boy. "I consider him our first child. I'll raise him as my own. Hell, half the reservation already assumes he's mine. I want to adopt him."

"You want to what?" Shock overwhelmed me.

"Adopt him."

Holy shit. Did a teenage boy just tell me that he wanted to adopt my son and raise him as his own? A teenage werewolf at that? What the fuck had happened to my life? Had I fallen and hit my head? Had I fallen through some kind of wormhole into an alternate dimension?

This was too much to absorb. "I need time. I can't handle all this."

Paul watched me with a worried expression, but wisely didn't push me by adding anything to the conversation.

"Are there other imprints?" My mind flashed onto an image of the way Emily and Kim interacted with Sam and Jared. They acted like those boys were their world. And the boys returned the devotion. "Kim and Emily? Right?"

Paul nodded. "Yeah."

"And how did they react? How did they deal with it?"

Paul looked down at the table, tracing shapes with one finger as he spoke. "Kim has been in love with Jared since we were kids. She was ecstatic when he noticed her. Emily was a little harder though. Sam was dating her cousin when it happened. So their beginning was a little…messy."

"And what, now they're all lovey-dovey, happily-ever-after?" I couldn't keep the skepticism out of my voice. Despite the wolf-man sitting across from me, I just couldn't believe in fairy-tale endings.

Paul sent me a small smile. "That's how it works, if we let it. I'll be whatever you need. You're my everything. So yeah, we could have that happily-ever-after if you want."

The words 'if you want' implied there was a choice involved. "And if I don't want that?"

The light in Paul's eyes died. He looked back down at the table and spoke with a dull voice. "I've never heard of anyone flat out denying the imprint. Don't know if it's even possible. I know it causes physical pain when we're apart too long. I know we can feel each other's emotions. I feel most of yours, but you only seem to feel mine when they're really strong. But, if you don't want a relationship like the others, we can just go on like we have been. I can be the best friend you've ever had, Jenna."

I mulled his words, staring at the patterns his finger was tracing. What did I want from Paul? I didn't even know. I was still in shock from everything. I needed more time. A lot more time. At the moment, the anger at being lied to was over-shadowing every other reaction I had to the news. I couldn't even examine how I really felt about the imprinting without that anger stomping its way over and interrupting.

Paul stood up with a sigh. "I've gotta leave. I have patrol."

My head shot up. Bella had explained this as well. The guys patrolled the reservation in wolf form, to protect us all from vampires. Fucking _vampires._ That shit really did exist. Fear shot through me at the thought of Paul facing one of those creatures. The thought of him being injured sent a crippling wave of anxiety through me. For a split second it was like someone else had control of my body, and it wanted to launch said body at him. I barely kept myself in my chair when the urge to wrap myself around him overwhelmed me. But I pushed the urge away. It had to be that fucking imprint, screwing with me.

Instead I kept my ass in my chair and spoke calmly. "Have fun."

He sighed again. "Yeah."

He paused at the doorway. "Uh…you'll still be here when I get back…right?"

I paused before answering. I didn't want to lie to him. It was true, part of me was feeling antsy and wanted to run. But at the very thought sweat popped out on my forehead and a wave of nausea rolled through my stomach. Shit. I didn't think I was capable of running.

"Yeah. I may not be happy with any of this, but I'm here for awhile at least."

He nodded. "Thank you."

He started to leave then paused again, turning back to me once more. "You know, it might help to talk to Emily and Kim. They know exactly what you're going through. They're the only ones who've been through this before from your side of things."

"Thanks. I might do that later on today."

He sent me a brilliant smile, apparently happy that he was able to suggest something that might help me. Then he was gone. I stared at the empty doorway, my mind spinning. As uncomfortable as that conversation had been, it really hadn't covered much of anything. At some point, we would have to sit down and get down to the real gritty details. We would have to deal with pasts. Mine specifically. I knew he had overheard my conversation with Bella. She had hinted that it was probably the trigger for his furry little hissy fit the day before. But at some point, provided I didn't take off, we were going to have to have a long, uncomfortable talk about my history. He had to know what he was getting himself into with me. Again, assuming I was going to let him get into anything with me.

I turned to Anderson. "What do you think? Wait, why am I asking you? You'd probably love it. Your first doggie and a daddy all in one."

**

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AN: So sorry for the long wait. I have legitimate excuses this time. If you follow me on Twitter, you know what they are. If you don't, here's my bitch-fest summarized: First my youngest got strep throat. Second: I caught strep throat, because we share like that. After that finished kicking my ass, I finally found the energy to write again. So I was gonna write this past weekend. Then wildfires decided to make my state their bitch. And my small town was one of the hardest hit areas in Oklahoma. Had one wildfire less than a mile from my home and another two miles away. So my weekend was busy. Good news, I still have a house! And a laptop! So I wrote you a new chapter. It's not long enough, but at least it's something.**


	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter 37**

**AN: It's been awhile, huh? Um...absence makes the heart grow fonder? Any takers on that theory? No? Fine, you guys can put down the pitchforks. See, I updated:**

**Disclaimer: I've said this thirty-six times already in this story alone. I still don't own or profit.**

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Jenna POV**

I spent that first day in a state of shock. The house was close to spotless already, but I cleaned like a Merry Maid on speed. I was down on my hands and knees scrubbing the baseboards when Paul came in from patrol. Through the corner of my eye I saw his sneakers approach and then pause a few inches from me, but I kept my head down. Part of me knew that he didn't deserve the silent treatment. It wasn't his fault that he exploded into a giant canine. He probably didn't want to hunt mythical creatures to challenge them to a fight to the death. Well. Wait. Judging by the number of fights I'd seen him in at school, he probably loved that part. But he never asked to be chained to me for life. Regular people had a choice when it came to choosing their partners. Sure, most of them would choose wrong at least once and end up going through a nasty divorce. But they had the freedom to make that mistake. He never had a chance. As soon as our eyes met he was a goner.

The fire of anger that I had managed to bank earlier in the day came roaring back to life at the thought. Damn his stupid genes. Damn the imprint. How was this fair that we were forced into a life-long relationship? We weren't even adults yet. This was insanity to expect two teenagers to build a successful life together starting out this way. How were we supposed to do this? Were we supposed to have looked into each other's eyes that day, fall madly in love, and start planning our wedding?

Leaning forward, I started scrubbing the wooden baseboard harder. Paul stood there, inches from me, for a few more silent moments before giving up and moving on. He could have stood there all night for all I cared. I wasn't ready to talk. And if he tried to force the issue, he wasn't going to like the resulting conversation.

We didn't even eat dinner together that night. It was the first time since he moved in that we ate separately while we were both home during the meal time. I felt a little childish walking out of the kitchen with my food, but I couldn't sit across from him without wanting to throw my plate at him. Anderson needed a better example of proper dining etiquette than that. As I walked out of the room, Anderson resting against one hip and my food in the other hand, I felt a wave of longing and regret. It had to have been from Paul. He had mentioned that he could feel my emotions and that I would feel some of his. It was hard not to turn around and comfort him.

But I wasn't ready to do that yet. It would send the wrong signal. I wasn't willing to brush everything under a rug, to pretend that everything was okay. Because I was not okay with this whole situation. Reassuring him now would only get his hopes up. Besides, if I looked at him, I would only end up angry again.

Apparently he didn't have patrol the next day. The thought of being trapped in a house with him and the stress of our situation had me near panic. So I packed up a lunch, sunscreen, and a blanket and headed for the beach. Paul was smart enough to stay behind. At least until I drove off. But as I drove down the road, I knew he wasn't very far behind. I could feel him following. As long as he stayed out of sight where I couldn't see him, where I could at least _pretend_ that I was escaping reality for a bit, then I could cope with the following thing. But we would have to have a little talk about the stalking once I decided to talk to him again. If I decided to talk to him again.

After slathering the sunscreen on Anderson I laid him down on the blanket near the edge and settled down next to him. He immediately started reaching for rocks, his little hands bringing it straight toward his mouth as soon as he succeeded in grabbing one. He kept me busy for most of the morning, just keeping him out of trouble. He wasn't walking yet, but he was mobile enough already. In fact, he rolled his little self right into the shifting water's path. Only his feet got wet, but it surprised the hell out of him. He let out a loud squeal of displeasure. Laughing, I scooped him up and headed back toward the blanket to change him into a dry outfit.

I was just pulling the new onesie over his head when a shadow fell over the blanket. Irritation swept through me as I assumed Paul had given up on pretending not to have followed me. But then I realized that I could still feel him hiding off in the woods.

Then Kim plopped down on the blanket. "Hey, Jenna."

Emily slowly lowered herself, watching my face for my reaction, presumably to their presence. I gave her the most welcoming smile I could muster. "Hi guys."

"How are you doing, Sweetie," Emily asked quietly.

So, they knew.

I focused on the snaps as I finished dressing my son. "I'm pissed as hell. How are you?"

They were quiet for a moment, trying to reconcile my calm, polite tone with my words.

"We understand what you're going through," Kim started. "We're imprints too."

I snorted before pulling Anderson into a seated position against my legs. "I really doubt that you understand anything I'm feeling Kim."

"You feel a pull to him, a connection that you can't quite explain. You want to fight it but you can't." Emily's quiet words hung in the air between us.

I narrowed my eyes at her. "I can fight it."

She gave me a small, sad smile. "You can try."

I shook my head. "I can succeed."

She turned her head to look out at the ocean, giving me a clear view of the scars from her bear attack. "It's not a good idea to push them to their breaking point Jenna. And if you do, you sure as hell don't want to be there when they break. The results aren't pretty, or easy to explain."

What?

She turned back to me, her eyes filled with sadness. "You know, he still apologizes every day."

For what?

"I just couldn't accept the imprint. I couldn't do that to my cousin. They were so in love. I couldn't trust him, his love. One day she was the love of his life, the one he wanted to marry, and the next, I was his soul mate? Impossible." She sighed, looking away again, exposing the puckered flesh again. "So I pushed him away. Pushed him closer and closer to the edge with every denial of his love, of him. One day, it was too much."

I gasped. Holy shit. It wasn't a bear. It wasn't a fucking bear. Sam did that to her. He hurt Emily. But…they were together. I couldn't reconcile the knowledge with the cuddly, sickeningly lovey-dovey couple that I had witnessed at the cookout. How could Emily go back to him after he did that to her? How could she ever trust him again? She climbed into bed with that monster every night. How the hell did she go to sleep without fearing for her life? For fuck's sake, one of these days he could take her out for squeezing the toothpaste tube wrong.

She saw the look on my face. Emily shook her head and reached forward to lay a hand on my knee. "He's not like that normally. It was the stress of being separated from me. In fact, I'm the only one who can calm him down when he's like that."

I shuddered at the thought. She intentionally approached him when he was close to breaking? The woman was clearly insane. I shot a look Kim's way. The other girl was a little paler than usual.

"And how many times has Jared nearly swiped your face off?"

Kim's face turned red, her eyes flashing with anger. "He's never once raised a hand in anger with me. He loves me."

She winced at her choice of words and sent an apologetic look her friend's way. "Sorry, Emily. That's not how I meant it."

"It doesn't matter how you meant it. Now that I know how dangerous they are, I can't let any of them be around my son."

A mournful cry sounded from the forest behind us. A knife of sorrow stabbed my chest. And then I could feel him running away.

Emily's expression was full of reproach as she looked at me. "That really hurts him when you say things like that. And there's no reason to hurt him. You can't stay away. You'll only end up going back to him. Only now you'll have this between you."

I clenched my jaw as my hands shook. "I can't go back to him! He could hurt my son! What the hell is wrong with you two? They are dangerous! They could kill you in a fit of rage. Sure, they'd be _sorry_ after, but what good would that do? You'd still be dead. Or at the very least, maimed."

Emily's eyes hardened. "Those boys may turn into wolves but they are not just animals. They have good hearts. They risk their lives to protect all of us. Sure, they may have a little problem controlling their tempers sometimes, but seems to me that you're a bit of a Bitch. So you should be more understanding about the boys having temper problems."

We stared at each other for a long, tense moment before Emily decided I wasn't going to react to the bitch comment and finally spoke again. "My face was an isolated incident. It was the first and last time any of them have hurt a civilian."

"No it wasn't." I had a flashback of Paul wailing on Shane Peltier.

Emily waved my words off. "That boy was posing a physical threat to his mate. I'm really proud of Paul for not killing him. He had to be incredibly tempted to hunt him down for weeks after that. He's probably still tempted. That was not unprovoked. There have been no other instances.

"When this happened to me, Sam was alone, Jenna. No one else had phased yet. The others started phasing just a week or two after the accident, but he was the first, a few months before anyone else. He wasn't sure if he would be alone forever, and his only chance at company was pushing him away. It was too much for him."

I stared down at my son, my thoughts spinning. I wanted to ignore her words. Stand firm in my belief that those creatures were too dangerous for my son and I. But her speech was seeping in through cracks in my defense that I hadn't even known existed. I couldn't help but think of Brady and Collin, splayed across the living room floor on movie nights, throwing popcorn at each other, wrestling over the last soda. Or Quil eyeing every girl we passed in the hall, cracking dirty jokes at every opportunity. Jake, handing me that soda at lunch, even when we were arguing.

Shit. My cousin was a werewolf. If I walked away from them all, I would have to walk away from him. He was the closest family I had ever had. John was great and all, but he was never around. He was more like a really nice, understanding landlord. Jake felt more like a brother who lived in another house than a cousin. Did I really think he was capable of hurting anybody? Smiley, loveable Jake?

"They're more than animals, Jenna," Emily asserted softly. "If you'll just give them a chance you'll see that."

I chewed on my lip for a minute before turning to Kim. She was watching me nervously.

"You say Jared has never been violent around you?"

She shook her head quickly. "No. From the moment he noticed me that day in class, he's been the most gentle, loving boyfriend I could imagine." She blushed bright red. "He's very attentive."

She smiled down at Anderson. "He can't wait for us to have kids. He talks about it all the time when we're alone. Especially now that he's seen this little guy."

Emily nodded. "That's another wolf thing. The mating imperative."

"Hold up. The what?" I asked.

"Why do you think they're wired to find their perfect mate?" Emily asked with a twinkle in her eye. "To have kids."

My eyes widened. "How soon is Paul going to expect me to pop out more kids?"

Kim giggled. "Jared wants to start as soon as we graduate. He's going to work on the construction crew with Sam. I told him that I'd like to get a teaching degree first. The reservation's teachers are aging fast. In a few years they will have a real shortage. He agreed, but I think it really disappointed him. Of course, the practicing is always fun."

I looked to Emily.

She shrugged. "That's something you'll have to discuss with Paul. Sam and I are waiting until we're married."

"And when will that be?"

She looked away, sadness overtaking her features once more. "That depends on Leah."

My eyebrows shot up. "Why does your wedding depend on Leah?"

She looked back at me. "I'd like her to forgive us first. If she imprinted, it would go a long way towards that, but Sam isn't sure if the imprinting is something that happens for a female wolf. We don't really know what happens with a girl wolf since she's the first one."

Leah was one too. I knew she was always around them. But when I was trying to determine if there were any other imprints, she had never crossed my mind. She didn't seem like someone who'd found her soul-mate. She wasn't happy at all. She was bitter and lonely. Why hadn't I put two and two together? Why else would she always be with them if she wasn't an imprint? She would have to be one of them. And how much did that suck that she was stuck in a pack with the two people who had fucked her over so badly?

I stared at Emily, part of me wanting to hate her. But how could I hate her? She was just as trapped as I was. She had no choice in the matter. When she had looked into Sam Uley's eyes, she hadn't asked him to betray her cousin. She'd probably only been saying hi to her cousin's boyfriend. How could she have known the damage she would cause with a simple hello?

Anderson leaned back against my leg, wiping his eyes with a whine. I gathered him into my arms. "Little Man is getting cranky. I need to get him home."

"Let us help you get everything packed up," Emily offered.

I nodded, stepping back, off of the blanket. The girls worked together quickly and efficiently. They'd obviously worked together a lot in the past. But then, at the one cookout I went to, I got the impression that the group gathered often. Now that I knew they were less of a group and more of a pack, that made sense. And fuck, the pack ate at Emily's every night didn't they? That poor woman. Kim must help her. Although, judging by her efforts in Home Ec, I didn't know if she was really welcome in the kitchen. Kim was probably more handy when it came to clean up.

"Thank you," I said as they put everything in my car.

Emily patted my arm as they stepped back. "Just remember, I'm always here to talk, if you need it."

**

* * *

PPOV**

Jenna was leaving. Jenna was leaving. Jenna was leaving.

I couldn't get the thought out of my head. She thought we were too dangerous and she was going to pack Anderson up and leave. Hell, she was probably already gone. Damn Emily for opening her big mouth and telling that fucking story about Sam. Just because Sam couldn't handle his shit around his imprint didn't mean I was going to lose it and try to kill mine.

_"Dude, you need to calm down,"_ Quil told me from his patrol route. _"Sam's gonna lose his shit all over __**you**__ if you don't stop thinking about her like that."_

_"Fuck off."_

_ "Believe me, you show me a willing girl and I will."_

I growled. I was so not in the mood for jokes. _"Just run your fucking route and stay the hell out of my way."_

_ "What? You're just going to go pout while she leaves? Pussy."_

_ "You're letting her leave?" _Collin sounded genuinely panicked at the thought. _"The red-head is still out there! What if she catches Jenna? She smells like us. That bitch would get her just for that."_

That possibility hadn't really occurred to me. I'd been too busy moping about my imprint not wanting me to really think about the realities of her leaving. I skidded to a halt, sliding several yards before turning and running back toward John's house. Adrenaline ran through my body, spurring me on faster. She couldn't leave. My life would be over if anything happened to her and Anderson.

I came to the edge of the woods at John's backyard and paused. There were two heartbeats in the house. Her car was parked in the front yard, just far enough over that I could see the edge of it from where I stood.

She was safe.

And I was going to make damn sure she stayed that way.

Taking a deep breath, I forced calm through my system, focusing on the way it felt to be human. Slowly, much slower than usual, I felt the change take over. I was still worked up, so it was hard to make the wolf lay down and chill for awhile. I doubted Jenna wanted to have a conversation with me in that state though.

She was in the living room, watching some overly emotional Lifetime chick flick when I walked in. There were no packed bags in sight though; that was encouraging. I sat in the recliner, watching her from the corner of my eye.

"So, how was the beach?" I tried for casual.

She snorted, lifting the remote to turn the TV off. She turned to me with an angry expression. "That's a bullshit question."

Okay. I had no idea how to recover from that response.

She narrowed her eyes. "You ran."

I clenched my teeth. What the hell did she want from me? Really? I had no idea what she was expecting from me here. "What the hell do you want from me? I'm doing the best I can!"

She crossed her arms.

"Fine. I ran because I heard the girl I love judging me for something another guy did. I heard her saying that I couldn't be trusted around a kid I love. That I would try to kill her, because someone else lost his temper. I ran because you don't trust me and you aren't willing to try. I was hurting, dammit."

She stared at me for a long moment before nodding.

"So, are you leaving? I thought you'd be gone by now."

She cocked an eyebrow. "Thought? Or hoped?"

A growl ripped from my throat before I even knew it was coming. She jumped a bit, then shifted a few inches further away from me. Dammit.

"Of course not!" I ran my hands through my hair, praying that they didn't look as shaky to Jenna as they felt to me. "I don't want you to leave, Jenna. Ever. But especially not now. There's a vampire out there hunting Bella Swan. And right now she's pissed off at the wolf pack for protecting that waste of space. You've been around the pack too much to avoid drawing her attention. You'd be a target as soon as you stepped foot off this reservation."

Jenna's heart rate sped up. I immediately regretted giving her another reason to fear. I was just piling more and more stress on her. I was the worst mate ever. No wonder she didn't want anything to do with me.

Jenna's wide eyes met mine. "Oh." Then her eyes became even wider and her worry flooded me. "Has anyone heard from Bella since she went home last night?"

**

* * *

AN: Gasp! What happened to Bella? Was Alice at her house waiting like in the book? Was Victoria waiting? Is she just sitting at home being the whiny little bitch she is? Who knows? Not me, cause I haven't written it yet...guess we'll all find out when my muse, AKA That Bitch, gets around to telling me.**


	38. Chapter 38

**Chapter 38**

**Disclaimer: Not mine, etc**

* * *

**Jenna POV**

The temptation to hunt Bella down and strangle her just kept growing stronger every day that I knew the girl. I didn't like that girl and I really didn't want to be wasting my time worrying about her. Here I was, trying to sort through this confusing mess with Paul, only to be interrupted by such trivial matters as worrying whether the whiny bitch was still alive or not. I perched on the edge of the couch, listening closely as Paul called Jake. If anyone would know Bella's status it would be Jake.

"Yeah? Jake? What's up with Bella? She make it home safe last night?"

Paul's face shifted through a fascinating evolution of expressions as he listened to my cousin. Jake must have had a lot to say too because Paul was listening for awhile. Jake was getting loud too. I couldn't make out his words, but I could hear his voice. Whatever he was saying was upsetting Paul.

He started out with a slightly worried look. That shifted to confusion. Then alarm. Then he was angry. The anger continued to grow, affecting his whole body. His hands started to shake. Then his shoulders. Soon his whole body was vibrating.

Holy shit. Was he going to do the exploding thing again? Was Anderson safe? Was I safe? Anderson was in his crib, taking a nap. He was probably relatively safe. I, on the other hand, was only a few feet away from the time bomb that was about to go off.

Paul disconnected from the phone call. With a curse he threw the cordless phone across the room. It burst against the wall, sending pieces flying in every direction. I jumped with a yelp, for some reason surprised by the show of aggression. I shouldn't have been. It was typical Paul.

My reaction must have reminded him that I was in the room. He spun around to face me, rage in his eyes. "Do you know what that bitch was doing when he got to her house yesterday?"

I shook my head mutely, afraid to say anything for fear that my words would be the spark that lit the fuse.

"She was sitting in her living room, talking to a fucking vampire."

My mouth fell open.

He ran his hands through his hair. "She is by far the stupidest chick I've ever met. Just sitting there having a tea party with the thing. And she had the nerve to be offended when Jake burst in to protect her. She said he shouldn't be scaring her _friend_ Alice like that."

I frowned. "But it could have been the other one. The one that's trying to kill her!"

"Exactly!"

"What the hell is her problem? He was just trying to protect her. That ungrateful bitch!"

"Exactly! She had no reason to even invite the fucking bloodsucker into her house. She admitted that she wouldn't take the thing's brother back at this point. So why the hell was she talking to it?"

I watched as Paul began to pace back and forth, the vibrations slightly calmed. But he was clearly still being ruled by his anger.

"And now we have to deal with the pissed off little leech butting her dead nose into our hunt for the red-head because she decided that her family is at fault for this whole mess so she's gonna clean it all up."

"Wait? So is the family coming back? The ones the pack has a truce with?"

Paul growled. I cringed back into the couch cushions as he turned his glare to me once more. "No. Bella doesn't want them here. In fact, after her little friend heard that she had no intention of taking her old boyfriend back, the two had an argument. Bella ended up kicking her out of the house."

I snorted. "Cause a hundred pound girl's really going to keep out a vampire if it wants to come over for a visit."

Paul nodded. "Which is why Bella stayed the night at Billy's last night."

My eyebrows shot up. "Bet Jake was thrilled about that."

Paul paused for a second, his vibrations coming to a sudden halt as his mind became distracted. "Actually, he wasn't. I think seeing her all cozy with the bloodsucker may have finally snapped him out of it."

"It's about fucking time."

Paul grinned at me. "Yeah."

I didn't like the way he was looking at me. That expression held too much expectation. Now that the anger and worry about Bella was drifting away, I was left right back where we started this conversation. Confused about my relationship with Paul and in what direction I wanted it to be headed. Agreeing with him about the whole Jake and Bella situation was giving him false hope.

I jumped to my feet. "Well, I have a ton of laundry on my bed that isn't going to fold itself."

"Need help?"

"No. No, you go rest. I'm sure you're tired from all the patrols you've been running lately. And you've got to go back out tonight, don't you?"

"Yeah, I guess." He said, his tone full of disappointment.

"Wouldn't want you falling asleep on the job. Go take a nap."

And then I walked away from him, ignoring the ache in my chest. Damn this was hard. Emily had been right when she said that it would be hard to fight this imprint shit.

At the last minute I remembered the phone he had destroyed. "But first you need to do something about that mess you made," I called out over my shoulder. "And I'm sure you'll want to find a replacement before John gets home this weekend."

* * *

I set Anderson on the ground to explore, watching him for a moment before stepping over to join Jake at the picnic table. "Hey."

"Hey," he muttered quietly.

I'd never seen my cousin looking so hopeless. Jake was happiness and sunshine. He was hope embodied. His shoulders shouldn't slump like that. His eyes shouldn't be so sad and bitter.

"I'm sorry, Jake."

He raised his eyes to meet mine, a glint of defiance overwhelming the sadness. "Don't. Don't pretend like you ever wanted Bella and me to happen. You couldn't stand her. So just…don't."

Okay. So I couldn't offer him empty platitudes. I swallowed thickly before giving one nod.

"I am sorry that you are hurting, regardless of the reason. You're the closest family I've ever had, and I don't like seeing you hurt."

Jake considered my words for a moment before frowning at me. "But Uncle John took you in. I just bought you a few sodas."

"John's a distant landlord. He's nice and all, when I see him. But he's only home on the weekends, and even then, I only see him for dinner. He's out fishing with Billy and Charlie the rest of the time. He's like a landlord who stops in for dinner."

"Man, I'd trade places with you in a heartbeat. Dad is _always_ there. He's like a fucking super spy. When I wake up, he's there. When I get home from school, he's there. When I leave for patrols, he's there. In the middle of the night when I come in or leave, he's there. The weekends are the only time he isn't there."

"But at least you know he cares," I argued.

Jake shrugged, looking away.

I turned my attention to my son, giving my cousin some space. Anderson had moved to the edge of the picnic table. He had pulled himself up to his feet and was making his way slowly around the table, holding on for balance.

"I'm so fucking stupid," Jake mumbled after we had watched Anderson make his way around to Jake's side of the table.

I was about to argue when he raised his gaze to mine. "I knew she could never be mine, but I just kept pushing it. I knew from the first time I met her eyes after phasing and nothing happened. Even if she had left that leech, even if she decided that she wanted me, I couldn't have had her. It wouldn't have been fair to her. One day I would have broken her heart. I would have imprinted on someone else, and I would have left her. Anything we had, no matter how great, would have been forgotten at that moment."

I ground my teeth together before anything hurtful could slip out of my mouth. I couldn't let my feelings for the imprint situation distract me from Jake's problems. I needed to focus.

"I don't think that makes you stupid Jake. I think that makes you a normal teenage boy. You just wanted the girl that you like, not some girl you'd never even spoken to before. I hate being forced into a relationship with someone I didn't even know."

Jake frowned. "Hey, Paul's not that bad. I mean, he's got a temper, and his laugh is the most annoying sound in the world. And his taste in music, I'd claw my eardrums out. But he'd die for you. I've felt the way he feels for you. And until you knew about this whole imprint aspect to it, I thought you two were getting along really well."

I clutched the bench I was sitting on so hard I felt my hands and arms shaking. What the fuck gave everyone the impression that they had any business butting into my relationship with Paul? I wanted to tear into Jake and set him straight. But he was my cousin and he was in pain. I could give him a free pass, this one time. I wouldn't tear into him, but I'd give him a little friendly advice.

"Jake, when you do find your imprint, do yourself a favor and don't hide the truth from her for months. People don't like being lied to. You need trust to build a relationship, and once that trust is broken, it's very hard to rebuild."

"He was just scared," Jake defended. "I can understand that."

Jake reached down and scooped Anderson up, setting him on the table between us. "I don't know how Sam and Jared had the courage to do it, but I'm scared to death to one day tell the girl I'm going to imprint on about all this. How do you tell someone that you turn into a giant wolf and fight vampires? She'll try to have me committed, if she doesn't just assume it's a really bad pick up line. She might just laugh and walk away. You have no idea the pain a wolf goes through when he thinks his imprint is going to reject him."

I couldn't meet his eyes so I turned my attention to my son. He was babbling and waving his hands, trying to get Jake's attention.

"Some people just don't like the idea of being forced into anything." I responded angrily.

Jake sighed. "Jenna, it's not supposed to be like that. To begin with, you always have a choice."

I snorted. "Yeah, I have so much choice. Every time I turn around someone else is pressuring me into accepting him. They all want me to just sit down, shut up and go along with this imprint shit."

"They all mean well. It's worked out so well for them and made them all so happy. They just want that for the two of you. And they don't want Paul to be upset. He's family." Jake watched my expression darken before continuing. "But I'll talk them if you want, ask them to mind their own business. This is between you and Paul."

"Thanks Jake. I know you don't really want to do that. I know you don't agree with what's going on between Paul and me."

Jake chuckled as he reached out to tickle Anderson. "Hell, he may be my pack brother, but you're family."

Tears pricked my eyes. "Thank you, Jake."

He shrugged uncomfortably.

After a few moments of listening to my son's giggles my throat was loosened enough to speak easily again. "So. Um, what's going to happen with the Bella situation now?"

He shrugged, ceasing his assault on my son's tummy. "We take out the bloodsucker hunting her and then she goes on her way."

"How's that going to work? With that other vampire insisting on helping?"

His face screwed up into a look of disgust. "Damn treaty. I'd love to rip her little head off. Fucking annoying leech."

"Won't that get confusing? With the smell of an ally vampire and the target vampire at the same time?"

He shook his head. "Not really. They all smell slightly different. It's amazing the scents we can pick up on now." He frowned. "They need to start teaching some of the girls at school about subtlety. That fucking perfume cloud in the hallways could knock a guy down."


	39. Chapter 39

**Chapter 39**

**Disclaimer: Not even in my imagination.**

* * *

**Jenna POV**

The air entered and exited my lungs to the rhythm of my fists. All thought had cleared my mind minutes after my knuckles began to pound the swinging bag. Sweat dripped down my face and chest. My throat and mouth were so dry it hurt to swallow. But I wasn't about to stop. If I stopped the thinking would start up again. I didn't want to think anymore. Over the last few days I had thought enough. I thought about leaving. I thought about staying. I thought about becoming a wife or alternatively never marrying but instead having a best friend who would never betray me. I thought about everything but made no decisions.

"I see you've finally put that Christmas present to good use."

Grabbing the bag before it could rebound into me, I twisted around to see John leaning against the doorway.

"Hey."

He took the greeting as an invitation to come on in. Settling on an overturned crate, he eyed me. "You look stressed, Jenna."

I snorted. "Thanks."

He frowned. "I'm sorry this happened to you. I tried to keep them away from you as long as I could."

Uh, what? I turned away from the punching bag to fully face him. "What do you mean?"

He sighed. "When you moved in, I asked the pack to stay away from you. I didn't want one of them to imprint on you immediately. At all, really."

Thank fuck there was a chair not too far behind me, because my legs weren't holding me up and I was going to land on whatever was there.

John shook his head. "I banned them from the damn house. I told them not to fucking look at you! I would have had them all kicked out of school if I was able. Just so they wouldn't see you."

I was shocked. I had no idea what to say.

"I wanted more for you than to be stuck here, with some guy you never wanted saying you're his _mate_." John's sad eyes met mine. "I'm sorry, Jenna."

We sat in silence for a moment, his words circling in my head. An odd sense of resentment began to build in me at the thought of John trying to keep Paul and me apart. Common sense argued that was just the imprint though. So I tried to ignore that and focus my thoughts on logical thinking.

I frowned. "Sorry really doesn't do me much good now though, does it? I'm stuck with my own personal wolf stalking me. He's in there, probably pacing the living room, waiting for my answer. But I don't know what to tell him. Everyone is pressuring me to welcome him with open arms. But I don't know if I can do that. I would be crazy to do that. Wouldn't I?"

"I can't make your decision for you. But you do have a choice. You say the word and he's out of the house. Your life is your own, Jenna. I'm not going to tell you that you have to accept him. And I'm not even going to give you a deadline for making your decision. You take as long as you need. And I'll support whatever that decision is."

"Even if I don't want him? Won't that upset the entire pack? The whole tribe? Or at least the ones who know about the pack?"

John shrugged. "So we'll move to Seattle. I won't have such a long commute on the weekends."

"And if I decide I want to be with a werewolf? Have a litter of my own?"

He grimaced but nodded. "Even then."

I took a deep shaky breath, letting the knowledge sink in and settle that someone supported me wholly, regardless of my choice. I felt some of the anger and bitterness drifting away. Just knowing that John stood behind me eased the feeling of entrapment I had been suffocating under. He was the lifeline I had so desperately needed. Sure, Jake had tried to offer me the comfort I needed, but when it came down to it, he would side with the pack. He would probably even try to support me, but he had a bond with his pack mates that couldn't be broken by any ties to me. He would stand by Paul if I turned my back. And deep down, I think we both knew that.

"Thank you, John." I stood and started toward the house. Now that I had cooled off, the feeling of the sweat drying on my skin was disgusting. I had to get cleaned up and check on Anderson. Paul had volunteered to watch him for me while I had a little time to myself. I fingered the bruised and bloodied knuckles on my left hand. The afternoon's exercise had been a last minute whim; I hadn't stopped to dig out the boxing gloves Paul had given me for Christmas. I'd been hitting that damn bag harder and longer than I had ever intended in order to do that much damage to my hands.

John moved to my side as we walked toward the house. "I'll try to distract him while you head for your room, but I doubt you'll make it very far before he pounces. Next time, wear the gloves."

* * *

"Hi," Kim's soft voice drifted across the kitchen area.

I looked up from the hamburger meat I was shaping into miniature patties. She was standing at the edge of our home ec kitchen area, shifting her weight nervously from one foot to the other. She was watching me carefully for my reaction to her greeting. Like I was going to chase her out of the kitchenette with a rolling pin.

"You can set up a couple pans while I form the patties," I instructed.

A relieved smile broke across her face and she moved into the space quickly. We worked in silence for a few minutes. I continued forming the patties while she heated the pans and cut small slices of cheddar. She kept shooting me glances out of the corner of her eye though as she worked. Frankly, she was scaring the shit out of me. She wasn't the most skilled girl I'd ever seen with a knife. She'd lose a finger soon if she didn't focus on her work.

"So does this mean you've forgiven them?"

I glanced up at her as I began filling the first pan.

"I mean, this is a lot of food. Unless, this is all for the class?"

I shook my head. "It's for the boys."

She smiled encouragingly. "So? Are you okay with them now?"

I chewed on my lip for a second before frowning. Maybe making them lunch had been a bad idea. Seeing Kim's hopeful reaction was putting too much pressure on me. What if I looked into their faces and all the anger came rushing back? I wasn't ready to forgive Paul yet, so what made me think feeding them would be a good idea? I had just wanted to show them that I didn't want them all to die a horrible death.

"Uh…I guess I just wanted to reassure them. Let them know that I don't hate them."

"That's good." Kim stood close by, watching a pan anxiously. "I guess…"

She stood there, just watching as I flipped the meat. Her tension was seeping into me, putting me even more on edge. "Look, I know you want me to throw myself into his arms and declare my undying love, but I just can't do that. I'll do my best to keep things normal between me and the rest of the guys, but you've got to leave this shit between me and Paul alone. Okay?"

Kim darted her eyes down to the floor as she nodded, a blush spreading across her cheeks. "I'm sorry."

Looking at her standing there, nervousness and guilt drawing her shoulders in, I couldn't help but try to explain myself to her. "Didn't you for one second ask yourself if Jared was the right decision for you? Did you just take his word for it? Didn't you think for yourself?"

Kim's eyes snapped up to mine, genuine shock filling them. "Of course not! I always knew Jared was my soul mate. I was just waiting for him to realize it. I kept waiting for him to notice me. We shared classes for years before he ever saw me. And then one day he glanced over at me, our eyes met, and he finally recognized me for who I was. His future."

"So, for years you crushed on him like a fangirl obsesses over a Jonas brother, and he ignored you? Then one day he finally deigned to notice you and you counted your fucking blessings? Do I have that right? Holy shit that's fucked up."

Red filled the other girl's cheeks again, only for a completely different reason this time. Apparently Kim had a backbone after all. She leaned in, speaking quietly. "Listen, Bitch, you have no right to judge my relationship with Jared. At least we have a relationship. He never noticed me before because I'm shy and didn't draw attention to myself. But as soon as he did notice me, he did something about it. He has never once lied to me or hidden anything from me. Seems to me that you and Paul have caused a lot of your own problems in this mess you're in. If you had just been honest with each other from the beginning you'd both be a lot happier."

Well…shit. I didn't even have words to reply to that. Because Kim was right. If Paul had come right out and told me about the wolf business and all it involved from the very beginning, then we'd surely be at a very different point by now. I might have run screaming, but we wouldn't still be fighting. Would we? And if I had stuck around, I would have had to tell him about my past much sooner in our relationship, to avoid a meltdown like the Bella Debacle that had occurred the previous week.

Frowning, I turned back to the pans, rescuing the hamburgers. _I hope the guys like their meat well-done._

I placed more mini-burgers in the pans to cook while Kim quietly assembled the burgers, placing each mini-burger on a sweet Hawaiian roll with cheese, a pickle and a little sliced onion to make little Hawaiian sliders. My mind wasn't really on the task though. I couldn't help but imagine what life might have looked like if I had known sooner about the imprint and the pack. Would I have accepted if I had learned about them in a less dramatic manner? What would I have done if Paul had sat me down and explained everything calmly? I couldn't even see that scene in my head. Peace and calm were not attributes I easily identified with Paul.

But just say that he had, by some miracle, managed to communicate his story to me without freaking me the fuck out. What then? What would I have done? Would I have even believed him? Of course not. He would have been forced to wolf out in front of me. Then I would have panicked at the thought of the danger he posed to Anderson. Because that was always my first thought. How could this hurt my son? Would he have been able to convince me that he wasn't a threat?

And if he did manage that incredible feat, would I have jumped into a romantic relationship? I doubted it. That wasn't my style. Everyone seemed to think that was the inevitable end to this little dance we were doing. But did it have to be? They kept saying I had a choice after all. I chewed on my lip as I listened to the meat sizzle and pop. I didn't feel like I had much of a choice. There was something in me that craved to be by his side. Something that wanted his touch. I wanted him to hold me. That wasn't friend behavior.

I would have to make a hard choice. At some point I would either have to get far enough away to stop myself from jumping into his arms, or I would have to give in to that part of myself that wanted to snuggle into his side. And I would have to make that choice soon.

* * *

**Paul POV**

The waiting was killing me slowly. I couldn't wait for it to be over, but I didn't want her to make up her mind. Because I just knew that she was going to choose to leave. There was no way she could choose me. What person in their right mind would want to spend their life with me? I was a loser. I was a fucking freak monster. She'd be doing herself a favor to pack up that car and run as fast as she could. She'd tear out my heart in the process, but she would be better off.

She didn't even want to eat lunch at the same table with us anymore. Fuck, not even in the same room. She was usually the first person at the table, but it was nearly full by the time I got there, and her seat was empty. I took my place next to her empty chair, slouching down. I was so depressed the smell of food didn't even interest me.

"If she did anything to hurt Kim, I'm taking it out of your hide," Jared growled at me.

I jerked my head around to see him glaring at me. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

He narrowed his eyes. "Whatever the fuck happened in their last class that upset Kim."

I frowned. Jenna hadn't felt any more upset than usual during the morning. So either whatever upset Kim hadn't involved Jenna, or it hadn't upset her. My bet was that it hadn't upset her. I could almost guarantee she was part of it though. My Jenna always seemed to be in the middle of the turmoil.

Seth leaned across the table stretching a hand toward each of us. "Guys, this isn't the place. I'm sure they're both fine. Jared, you know Kim would have sent you a text if she needed you."

Collin bounced in his seat. "Look! Here they come! They're together, and it looks like they have food!"

All the heads at the table swiveled around to watch the girls walking through the cafeteria. Sure enough, they were both carrying containers that were wafting out the heavenly smell of hamburgers. I analyzed Jenna quickly for any signs of additional stress. I had to know if she had been fighting with Kim. I should have felt it if she had, but maybe there was a problem with the imprint bond. Maybe there had been so many negative emotions flowing over the damn thing it just couldn't take anymore.

My eyes skimmed over the dark circles under her eyes. Those tore at my heart, but I couldn't allow myself to focus on them. She hadn't been sleeping well since she found out about my dual nature. I wasn't sure if it was due solely to the nightmares that I couldn't fight off any longer or if she was also struggling with our situation. Either was unacceptable. I needed to be there for her.

Her shoulders were tense and her knuckles were white where she gripped the tupperware container with a death grip. Her mouth was set in a tense line, her jaw clenched. Although her stride was confident, I could feel her anxiety growing as she neared the table. Was she nervous about the pack as a whole or just me? Because if it was just me, I'd leave. It would be painful, but if that was what she needed at the moment, I could do it.

The important thing was that she was here. She was joining us for lunch after all. And she had even gone to the trouble to cook for the pack, something I had seriously doubted would ever happen again.

She slid a full container of tiny hamburgers down between me and Collin and Seth as Kim set another down at the other end of the table. "We made you guys some Hawaiian sliders."

Seth's hand barely paused on the way to the food. "What makes them Hawaiian?"

He must not have cared too much about the answer because he was shoving one in his mouth as soon as he finished asking.

"There's pineapple in the meat," Jenna answered as she took the chair next to me.

Jake was on patrol so I slid her customary soda in front of her. She sent me a wary smile. I had to clench my fists to keep from pounding the table. What the fuck? I couldn't even give the girl a damn soda without her wondering if there was an ulterior motive? I was just filling in for Jake, dammit! He always got her a soda. When he wasn't there I did it. Not everything was about the fucking imprint.

Brady swallowed his fourth burger before sending Jenna a large grin. "It's so good to have you back. Don't ever scare me like that again. I can't survive on cafeteria food. You've got to promise you won't ever make me eat that shit again."

Jenna shifted uncomfortably in her seat, looking away from him. She had that look like she was trying to find the safest non-committal answer.

I shot him a warning look, shaking my head at him before turning to Jenna. "Ignore him. He was shoving that school food in so fast I thought we were going to have to do the Heimlich a couple times."

Brady wisely kept his mouth otherwise occupied for the next few minutes. Jenna relaxed as the conversation turned to safer topics. She wasn't completely at ease, but she didn't seem like such a flight risk any longer. Her eyes did dart down to Kim every so often. Jared noticed too. He sent me a stern look, but I ignored him. Kim didn't seem any worse for wear, so Jenna had to have held back. I'd felt one of her punches. If I hadn't had the super wolf powers, that punch would have hurt like a mother-fucker. Kim would have suffered some damage if they had really gotten into anything serious. They may have had a few words, but nothing too drastic. Jared was just being too over protective. The next time his glaring eyes met mine, I sent him a little one-finger salute. He was such a drama queen.

* * *

**AN: So yeah, most of this was written and all self-beta'd AFTER I took my really strong migraine pills. Probably shoulda sat on it another day to look for horrible spelling and/or plot mistakes. But it's been too damn long since I posted so I'm not gonna. So please, please, please tell me if you see anything horribly wrong so I can fix it. Thanks.**


	40. Chapter 40

**Chapter 40**

**Disclaimer: I cannot tell a lie…no, wait, that's a lie. I'm actually quite capable of lying. But I'll be honest here, I don't own Twilight. **

* * *

**Jenna POV**

"Come on in, Anderson's still asleep," I said, turning away from Emily as quickly as I could. There was still a ball of rage in the pit of my stomach that flared up every time I thought of the last real conversation I'd had with Emily.

"That's unusual for him," she commented after a moment of awkward silence.

I answered as I headed for the kitchen. "I think he's getting another ear infection. We were up half the night."

Her sympathetic hiss sounded just behind me as I bent to pull the left-overs out of the fridge. So I was expecting her to be there behind me when I turned. Just not that close. She was right there, looking at me with an odd mixture of regret and hope.

"I want to apologize for that day on the beach. I know Paul has patrol today, so you'll be on your own for dinner. Please come to my place tonight. Give me a chance to make up for it."

I cringed internally. The last thing I wanted to do was spend quality time with this woman. "I don't know. Anderson might not be up for it."

Emily's hopeful smile died away. "Well, if he is the offer still stands."

I shoved the container into my backpack, sliding my gaze off of her own as I stepped around her smaller form. "Thanks."

I drove myself to school, the silence in the car overwhelming me. I wasn't completely comfortable around Paul, but I didn't really like the school days that he had patrol either. There was always something vaguely disturbing about the solitude after sharing the ride with him for so long. I was relieved to finally pull into a parking spot next to Quil. He was leaning against his car, peering down at a freshman girl, clearly putting the moves on her. Rolling my eyes, I grabbed my bag and climbed out of my car.

He straightened as soon as my car door closed, turning away from the girl he had been trying so hard to charm just seconds earlier. "Jenna! Is that lunch I smell in your bag?"

I sent a smile his way. "Good morning, Quil. Who's your friend?"

He tilted his head in confusion for a split second before jerking around to the girl he had nearly forgotten about. "Oh, Jenna, this is Melissa. Melissa, this is Jenna."

The girl sent me a fake smile, her eyes raking over me as she sized up her potential competition. I almost laughed at the thought. Yes, that's exactly what I needed. Two wolves fighting over me. And let's throw in a little fourteen-year-old girl for shits and giggles. We could pull each other's hair and spread nasty rumors around the school about who had slept with the whole football team.

Quil turned back to me. "You look tired. Little Man give you trouble last night?"

I nodded as a yawn overtook me. "I think he's having trouble with his ears again."

"Another ear infection?" The question didn't come from the expected source though.

I turned to find Embry sliding up next to me. He examined my face before giving me a pat on the arm.

"Why don't you head on back home? Get some rest?"

I found myself smiling a wide, albeit tired, smile at him. How could I not like these guys?

"I'll be okay. I got a few hours of sleep."

"You sure?" Quil asked with a worried tone. "Paul will kick our asses if he thinks we let you stay when you should have gone home."

"Why is Paul kicking our asses?" Brady asked as he walked up. "Hey, Melissa."

Quil nodded his head toward me. "She was up half the night with a sick kid so she's exhausted. But she refuses to go back home to rest."

Brady shook his head. "Seriously, Jenna, go back to bed, for us. I've had enough ass kickings from him already. I don't need another."

Embry snorted. "You brought all of those on yourself."

Quil laughed. "Seriously. Proposing to her because her food is so good? Retard."

Brady winked at me. "Hell, I still say that one was worth it. I'd take a daily beating for your enchiladas."

Chuckling, I looked around at the trio, noting that Quil's little conquest must have grown tired of being ignored because she was in the middle of slipping away. I had to admit that I was glad she was going though. I had fallen in with the pack so quickly that I had never befriended anyone outside of it. Now I found that I wasn't really interested in getting to know the other students. Regardless of how I felt about Paul, I was happy with these boys. I may not have been happy with the reason they came into my life, but I couldn't imagine life without them now. They were more like my brothers than friends.

* * *

_What the hell am I doing here?_ I sat in my car, gripping the wheel nervously. I did not want to go into that house. But Emily had been so eager when I got home, because Anderson had been in a great mood all day. His ears hadn't given him the least bit of trouble. He had taken a long, peaceful nap and eaten like a pig, right on schedule. How could I turn her down when my only excuse was the supposedly sick child, who was happily playing on the floor?

A knock on my window shocked the shit out of me, making me jump and even yelp a little. I turned to see Seth laughing at me. Growling, I popped the door open.

"This isn't a drive-in, you do have to get out of the car," Seth teased.

"Shut it," I replied as I leaned into the backseat to unhook Anderson from his car seat.

"Come here, Little Man," Seth said, pulling my child from my arms as soon as I straightened up from the rear seat. "Damn, he's gotten heavy. What are you feeding him?"

"Everything."

Seth was still laughing as I opened the door to Emily and Sam's house, drawing the attention of Collin and Brady. The boys sent me a large smile as Emily appeared in the doorway between the kitchen and the living room. Her whole face lit up when she recognized who had walked in the door.

"Jenna! I'm so glad you made it! Dinner will be ready in half an hour. Do you need a drink?"

"I'm okay for now. Do you need any help?"

She waved off my offer. "Go sit down. You need to rest. I've got this under control."

I followed her order but I felt guilty as I sat on the couch, listening to the sounds of dinner being prepared from the next room. I should be helping. Emily had watched my child all day and now she was cooking dinner for not just me, but several insatiable boys as well. And she did this every day. I scooted to the edge of the seat, readying myself to stand. A warm hand grabbed my elbow, yanking me back quickly so that I was resting against the back cushions of the couch before I could register what had happened.

Collin sent me an admonishing frown. "She said to relax."

Brady nodded. "And we always follow the orders of the cook."

"Isn't that right?" Seth asked Anderson, holding the boy up in the air above his head.

"You might not want to do that," I warned.

"Why?" Seth asked.

He didn't have the common sense to lower my son though. And I didn't have time to get an explanation out before the child demonstrated on his own. Luckily Seth was looking at me when it happened. Otherwise, the spit-up would have landed on his face. And that was one occurrence that even a mother found disgusting. The white liquid landed on his neck and began dripping down his shirt.

"Because he just downed a bottle," I spluttered on a laugh as Seth jumped up, holding my son out at arm's length like he was a live bomb on the verge of exploding.

"Here," Seth said, shoving Anderson into my arms before yanking his shirt over his head, which only succeeding in smearing the liquid into his short hair.

Seth groaned in disgust. "I'm never having kids. Emily! I'm using your shower!"

The other two boys gave Anderson a wide berth while we waited for dinner. Then they sat on the other side of the large table to eat. And when Seth came into the room with damp hair and no shirt he sent Anderson a nervous glance as he took the furthest empty seat available. Despite the boys' ridiculous behavior toward my son, the dinner was enjoyable. It was just like a large family meal. Even the awkwardness I felt toward Emily drifted from my mind as we passed the dishes around and chatted about our days.

It was kind of nice to see Emily in her natural environment. She was like a mother to these boys. She smiled at their accomplishments, even promising Collin a special pie the next night for his A on a test. She commiserated with their complaints about how difficult it was to have the wolf responsibilities on top of the regular teenage angst. She offered tutoring services to Seth when he mentioned that he was having trouble in English because he didn't have time to study properly with the current patrol schedule.

I still didn't like the way she had tried to steer me toward accepting Paul without even trying to consider my other options. But as I watched the proud smile spreading across her face as she watched the boys digging into the food, I could at least understand _why_ she had taken that route. These boys were her boys. She cared about all of them deeply and she wanted them all to be happy, including Paul. And for Paul to be the happiest, I would have to stop fighting and accept the imprint. She was doing what she thought had to be done toward that end. If she had taken the time to really get to know me first, she would have known that she had gone about that conversation all wrong. Sure, we exchanged a few words every morning and afternoon on school days, but she was always in a rush to get home so we had never really stopped to have a real conversation. So she didn't know me well enough to know how to manipulate me smoothly. But I was starting to see that in her own twisted way, she really had been trying to do what she thought was best for everyone, probably even me.

I was going to insist on washing up after dinner, but once again I was ushered into the living room. This time it was Brady bossing me around. Apparently Sam had a standing order that Emily was not to wash a single dish when one of the pack was over. If the boys ate, they washed up. No excuses. I tried to argue that I had eaten, so I should also be cleaning up. Seth was quick to point out that I fed them lunch and they never cleaned up the mess from those meals. So they owed me. At that point I had to gracefully surrender to their logic and make my way to the couch. I didn't know why I was putting so much fight into the argument anyway. I was exhausted after losing so much sleep the night before. I would stay the obligatory few minutes to avoid appearing rude, then go home to make it an early night.

* * *

**Paul POV**

Oddly, I could feel that Jenna was at Sam and Emily's house. She had been carrying a grudge against Emily since that day at the beach. Why would she be there? Only one way to find out. I followed Sam and Jared toward Sam's place.

Thankfully the patrol had been boring. I was ready to drop after running a double shift. Jared wasn't in much better shape.

_"Maybe next time you'll both think twice before trying to kill each other in my front yard."_ Sam's thoughts held no sympathy.

I tamped down the urge to snarl in Jared's direction. That would only earn me another double shift. He had been the one to start the argument though, accusing Jenna of hurting Kim's feelings when it was Kim and Emily who ganged up on Jenna in the first place. Everyone needed to back the fuck off from my mate. They were all going to run her off if they didn't give her some breathing room.

Anger was rising up too quickly and I had to focus on shoving it back down before it could bleed over to Jenna or get me into trouble with Sam. He was pretty good about ignoring the random thoughts that escaped when we were phased, even when they involved him. But no one was safe if they had an inappropriate thought about Emily. And he probably felt as much forgiveness toward my imprint as I did toward his at the moment. Of course, being the Alpha, he would be all mature and shit when he saw Jenna. I should probably try to mimic that. Especially since his imprint would offer me food.

We came to our phasing spot, just far enough in that no one would see us, and concentrated on our humanness. As soon as we were on two legs again we all started pulling on our shorts, studiously ignoring each other. Sure, we'd seen each other's junk before, couldn't help it with all the phasing, but that didn't mean we wanted to see it _again._ As soon as I was properly covered, I started moving toward the house, practically sprinting. I didn't feel any uncomfortable emotions coming from Jenna, but I needed to get in there and make sure she wasn't being backed into a corner by Emily again.

It didn't sound like anyone was talking at all though as I bounded up the steps. Even the television was turned down lower than usual. I opened the door and stepped in, scanning the room quickly to find my girl. A soft smile spread across my face when I found her. She was curled up in the corner of the couch, her head resting on her arms. She was out.

Brady nodded his head in greeting, startling Anderson in the process, who apparently had been on the verge of sleep himself. The little boy's eyelids jerked halfway open for a split second before slowly sliding back down. Seth and Collin waved from the floor. Emily appeared in the doorway to the kitchen, silently gesturing us in.

I followed the scent of food, but I was torn between filling my stomach and fulfilling my desire to be close to Jenna. In her sleep she wouldn't move away from me. I could sit there next to her as close as I wanted without her tensing up. It was so tempting. But the only thing I'd eaten since dinner the night before was a rabbit I'd come across on patrol, which sounded disgusting but I'd been too hungry to care at that point. And I was still starving. So I followed the woman into the kitchen, settling at the table as she began laying dishes of food out for us.

But as soon as my stomach was full I jumped up from the table, washed my plate and rushed to the couch. It only took one look from me for Brady to jump up from his position on the other end of the couch. We could probably all fit comfortably, but I already had to share this Jenna time with the others. I wasn't going to share the space too. I held my hands out and he slid the now sleeping Anderson into them nervously, like he wasn't used to transferring a sleeping baby. Of course, he probably wasn't. I sometimes forgot that other teenagers didn't know how to do these things.

A contented sigh escaped from me as soon as I settled on the cushion next to Jenna. Peace filled me as I soaked in her presence. I leaned back further into the couch, rested one hand on Anderson's back and threw an arm along the couch back behind Jenna. It wasn't quite the same as holding her, but it was as close as I was going to get at the moment. Leaning my head back against the cushion, I closed my eyes and focused on the way my arm could feel the heat radiating off of her.

* * *

I jerked awake as soon as I felt Anderson's weight disappear. Panic shot through me as my first thought was that I had dropped him. Then the haze of sleep disappeared and I noticed that his mother was standing in front of me in the darkened living room, lifting him up. I lifted my hands to my face and rubbed vigorously, trying to wake myself up a little. What time was it? Why was the living room so dark?

"It's getting late," Jenna murmured. "We should get home."

I nodded, looking around for the clock. Holy shit, it was almost midnight. Why the fuck hadn't Emily and Sam woken us up when everyone else left? Or when they went to bed? There was a throw blanket tossed aside where Jenna had been laying, like they'd covered her up when they retired for the night. And they had turned off the lights and the TV, only leaving on a small light in the kitchen. Who does that? Who leaves guests asleep in the living room and goes to bed?

I growled as Jenna reached into the diaper bag and palmed her keys instead of handing them over. Like hell she was going to drive home this late. I may have run a double, but I was used to those hours. And my wolf healing abilities did something to my body so I was able to function on less sleep. I recovered faster on less sleep or something. Jenna, on the other hand, looked like the walking dead. She had to have had a rough night the previous night. If I could have kicked my own ass I would have. I had to go and pick a fight with Jared just in time to make myself unavailable when she needed me. Fantastic timing. Thankfully she surrendered the keys without a fight, probably only to avoid waking Emily and Sam. But whatever. I won.

The ride home was short and quiet. But as soon as we got home all hell broke loose.

Anderson woke up screaming bloody murder. His little face turned bright red. He screamed louder than I'd ever heard him. His little fist rubbed endlessly at his right ear. Tears gathered in Jenna's eyes as she held her son. Suddenly I knew exactly what had happened the night before. He must have had trouble with his ear.

I held my hands out toward him. "Why don't you let me take him for awhile? Let you get some rest?"

She shook her head. "He's my son. My responsibility. Besides, you ran a double patrol. You need your sleep more than me right now."

I ground me teeth. Why wouldn't she let me help her? "Can I get you anything? Some baby Tylenol maybe? For the pain?"

"Um…yeah. Yeah, that would be good."

So I went in search of the pain reliever. Only, there wasn't any in the medicine cabinet. So I looked in the diaper bag. There wasn't any there either. I tore apart the bathroom, and even Jenna's room looking for the damn Tylenol but there wasn't any to be found. So I grabbed the keys and took off. That kid was going to have some fucking Tylenol. He was going to feel better and Jenna was going to get some rest.

I drove around for forty minutes before I finally found an all night Wal-Mart. I got the Tylenol _and_ the Motrin. And while I was at it I went ahead and got some diapers too, since I'd noticed that we were running a little low while I was desperately searching every nook and cranny of Jenna's room. The clerk gave me a sympathetic smile and a sob story about her daughter's tubes while she checked me out. Then I rushed home, to find Anderson still sobbing and now hiccuping too. Jenna looked like she was ready to rip her hair out.

This time when I offered to take him, she pushed him into my arms. Then she looked into the bag I had dropped on the couch between us, sending me a cocked eyebrow as she pulled out the medications. Choosing the Motrin, she disappeared into the kitchen before returning with one of those syringe looking dispensers and forcing the medicine down Anderson's throat.

"I'm going to make him a bottle. Hopefully he'll eat it," she mumbled, her words slightly slurred with exhaustion.

Somewhere I'd heard that heat helped soothe earaches, so I gently pressed one of my hands up against the ear that seemed to be hurting the most. At first there wasn't any difference, but by the time Jenna reappeared with the bottle, he wasn't crying quite as loudly. Of course, that could have been the Motrin kicking in. Either way, I was happy. Cause that kid was killing my ears.

Jenna sat down next to me, curling her legs up on the couch and resting her head against the cushion, close enough to my shoulder to make my heart buzz with happiness. Anderson pushed the bottle around with his tongue and chewed on it for awhile. My patience was starting to wear thin, and I was considering just taking the bottle away when he finally started to drink it. I glanced over at Jenna with a grin of triumph only to see her eyes closed and her breathing soft and even.

* * *

Emily's knock woke Jenna and Anderson. Her car door slamming had woken me seconds earlier. So I had half a minute to enjoy the feel of Jenna curled into my side. It was possibly the best thirty seconds of the past month. And I had every intention of savoring it as long as I could. I took long, deep breaths, so I could memorize the way her hair smelled.

Then Emily had to go and ruin it by knocking loudly, making her jump away. Oh well, realistically I had known it couldn't last forever. Jenna looked around in confusion, taking in the sight of us all on the couch just as we had been the night before. I ignored the sound of the key sliding into the lock as Emily gave up on anyone coming to the door. Instead I drank in the way Jenna looked first thing in the morning. The way her hair tangled, standing up on the side that had been up against my side. The little wrinkles in her face where her cheek had been smashed against my T-shirt. The sleepy haze in her eyes. She was absolutely beautiful.

"Oh, good morning," Emily said as she walked into the room, clearly not expecting to find us on the couch.

I turned to her. "You can go on home. We're not going to school today. We gotta take Anderson to the doctor."

A small frown marred the woman's forehead. "Is he okay?"

"He has an ear infection. He was in a lot of pain last night," I explained.

Emily cocked an eyebrow. "And both of you need to take off school for this? After you missed class already yesterday?"

I met her eyes with a challenging look. "I'm going to his doctor's appointment."

She gave me a small smile before nodding. "I'll have Sam call in an excuse for you. You guys are welcome to come over for dinner tonight. I'll see you tomorrow."

I turned to Jenna, preparing myself for the real battle. She was the one who would take real convincing. I was shocked she'd even let me help so much the night before, but then she was probably so frazzled after all the screaming while I was searching for the medicine, and then out buying it, that she hadn't been able to turn down that last offer for assistance.

She sighed when she saw the look on my face. "You're going to be really stubborn about this, aren't you?"

I nodded.

"You'll follow me anyway, won't you?"

"Of course."

She rolled her eyes. "Fine. You can come."

I smiled, but tried to keep the smugness out of it.

I was wearing her down.

* * *

**AN: To all the wonderful people reviewing, thank you. Ya'll don't have to review. I'll keep writing even if you all stop. But it's so nice reading all the nice things all of you have to say. Thanks for the little moments of happiness those reviews bring to me. And sorry that I don't always get around to sending a personal reply back. **


	41. Chapter 41

**Chapter 41**

**Disclaimer: I still don't own it.**

* * *

**Jenna POV**

Over the next few weeks, we fell into a comfortable little routine. It was almost like it had been at the beginning. During the school days we were on the verge of the easy friendship that we'd shared in those early days. I started preparing large lunches for everyone again and some of the tension at the lunch table slipped away as they all filled their stomachs. As soon as we got home we'd lay our homework out on the kitchen table and set to work, helping each other when necessary.

Things weren't exactly like the early days though. Now we were spending a lot of time at Sam and Emily's place. It wasn't a nightly occurrence, but it was frequent. After the first few meals, Emily had broken down and allowed me to help her cook. We even pulled Kim into the kitchen to help when she was there. She was even starting to learn a little. Like the difference between a tablespoon and a teaspoon, or salt and sugar on sight. Jared might not starve to death when they married.

If Emily and Kim had still been applying even the subtlest of pressure about the imprint I wouldn't have agreed to the meals at Sam's. But they had either realized that their efforts were counter productive or someone had had a little talk with them. I didn't really care which had occurred, as long as they didn't revert back to their imprint-pushing ways. Once they had relaxed though they could be fun to hang out with.

Emily was a mother at heart and already had great maternal instincts for when she finally had her own children. She loved watching Anderson. How could I not like a person who loved my son so fully? I could talk recipes with Emily and cleaning techniques. She even had some good advice about Anderson, like wax earplugs for his bath time to help prevent ear infections. I'd never had a good mother role model. Emily was only a few years older than me, but I could see how she had the potential to be a good mentor for me.

Kim was quiet but a sweetheart. She didn't have a foul word to say about anyone and she was extremely forgiving. And she was loyal. She would always hold Jared above all other friends in her life, of course. But as sweet and innocent as she appeared, that girl would take someone to the mat if she heard them utter a bad word about one of her friends. And she helped me remember that even though I was a mother, I was also a teenager. I was allowed to paint my nails and play with makeup. I could leave my son with Emily and go to Kim's house to play with my hair all afternoon, looking for a style that flattered my face shape. It was okay to stop being so serious all the time.

* * *

Paul popped a cherry tomato into his mouth. "We've got a practice session with the leeches all day tomorrow. Quil's on patrol and Brady'll be watchin' the house."

It had surprised me at first that they had a wolf dedicated to watching _me_ at all times. Why me? But then Paul had explained about Bella being over here so much and her scent trail. I didn't mind so much after that. I was just glad that I'd never been one to walk around the house naked when I thought I was alone.

I quirked an eyebrow, leaning into the corner of the counter. "That must be a real sight, all the wolves mock fighting a couple of vampires."

Paul narrowed his eyes at me. "You can stop right there. No way in hell you're getting anywhere near that meadow."

I crossed my arms petulantly. "Oh come on! There's a whole pack and two vampires! I'd be perfectly safe."

Paul pushed out of his chair stepping up to me to box me into the corner, placing one large hand on the counter at either side of my body. I was trapped. I stared up into his angry eyes. His anger and anxiety were leaking off of him. So far, it was the strongest emotion I had felt come across the bond between us.

"You don't know what we're dealing with. I've never seen one move like this guy. He's dangerous, Jenna. He's aggressive, but he's a strategist too. He's always ten steps ahead of us. He's holding back, and he beats us every time. I can _feel_ how frustrated he is that we still aren't getting it. I don't want you anywhere near him."

"Oh, but it's safe for Bella to be there?"

Paul clenched his jaw. "I don't give a fuck what Bella does. I only care about you."

Fair enough. I didn't really care about Bella either. I had to think of another reason for him to allow me to go. Curiosity was eating through me. I wanted to see a vampire. And I wanted to see all my wolves in action.

"Maybe you would all fight better if you had someone there you cared about. It might kick off your instincts."

A deep growl surprised me. I jumped back, slamming into the edge of the counter behind me. A warm hand slid across my cheek. My lungs and heart froze as I stared into his eyes. His face was frozen like stone, his expression intense and angry.

"You are not going anywhere near a vampire," he stated with a voice deeper than usual. "If I see you or even smell you coming, I will carry you back home and tie you down if I have to. Do you understand? You are forbidden from intentionally stepping foot near a vampire."

Part of me wanted to rebel against the fact that someone was daring to forbid me from doing anything. Another part of me was shivering at the deep timber of his voice. That was by far the hottest fucking sound I'd ever heard. And yet another little part of my brain was analyzing what had just occurred and had come to a conclusion. Paul was concerned about me. The wolf in him was rising to the surface because of that fear for my life. And I had no hope of ever viewing that training. If I tried, he really would carry me back home. And he probably would tie me down if he felt it was necessary to keep me from going back. Hell, with that expression in his eyes now, he might do it as a precautionary measure.

So I nodded. His arm muscles were so tense his hand on my cheek didn't end up moving along with the nod. The hand just hovered there in the air until I finished moving my head. Once I was still he moved quickly, sliding the hand around to the back of my head. He moved the other hand from the counter to the small of my back and pulled me against his chest.

Relief flooded across my whole body. There were still tendrils of anxiety wrapped around the relief that poured into me, but I would take what relief I could get. The hand at the back of my head began to stroke my hair. I was going to protest that I wasn't a damn dog to be pet. But then I realized that it felt kind of nice. Soothing even. As he stroked my hair the anxiety began to weaken and die. Eventually there was nothing but relief coming across the bond.

Then it started to change again. So I pushed myself away from him before I could feel the physical change in his body as well. Heat filled my cheeks as I avoided his gaze.

"John's gonna be home soon. We should get our homework off the table."

"Yeah." Paul stepped back, giving me space to slip away from him. "Um, I'm goin' for a run."

I watched him go with regret. He was clearly embarrassed. If I could have made him feel better without calling the reason for his embarrassment to attention I would have. But it wasn't like I could apologize for turning him on. Because that wouldn't heap a shit load of embarrassment on top of what he already felt. And I couldn't exactly give him a hug to make him feel better. That wouldn't really help matters. So I had to let him go.

* * *

**PPOV**

I had to get out of that kitchen before I did something stupid, like take her on top of that counter. Damn she was so fucking hot. She felt so good in my arms. And she'd wanted me too. For just a split second I had felt the desire well up in her. She liked it when I got all authoritative. I never would have guessed that one. But I hadn't imagined that shiver, or the accompanying smell. And damn, she smelled delectable. Good enough that I had to fight myself not to turn around and run right back into that kitchen.

But that's probably not how John wanted to find us when he got home. Fucking on the kitchen table. I cringed at the thought. Fucking was too crude a word for what Jenna and I would share, when the time was right. And the time would be right. Someday, I'd make love to that woman. Hopefully someday soon.

_"Well it's a good thing you're showing some respect for my cousin. Otherwise I'd have to rip off your balls."_

Shit. I hadn't even considered who else would be sharing my thoughts once I phased. Who else had gotten a mental eye-full of what I had wanted to do with Jenna just now?

_"You have _got_ to reign that shit in," _Collin whined through his thoughts. _"She's like a sister to me! I don't want to see her like that!"_

_ "You know, if you make yourself forget that it's Paul and Jenna, it's fucking hot," _Quil responded contemplatively.

I growled at his thought.

Quil mentally chuckled. _"If you don't like it then stop sharing so much."_

_ "Bite me."_ I responded angrily.

_"Well come here, Big Boy."_

His lascivious response broke the tension. I couldn't help but laugh at his flirting tone, the laughs emerging as short barks. Shaking my head I came to a stop. What the hell was I doing running from my mate like a fucking pussy? I quickly ran over the events of the evening in my head. Could I have handled any of that better? I'd lost a little bit of control there when she said she wanted to watch the training. The wolf had been right there. Right on the verge of exploding from my skin. I wasn't even sure how I managed to speak in an intelligible manner.

_"What the fuck? She wanted to do what?"_ Jake asked, a note of shock in his mental voice.

I shook my fur out, as if that would shake off any of the residual anxiety and fear I felt at the very thought of her being within striking distance of a bloodsucker. It didn't work. Nothing would work.

_"Hey, Buddy," _Quil murmured, _"She agreed not to go. She'll be safely at home all day. I'll be watching the borders and Brady will be watching her."_

_ "We're gonna learn this shit," _Collin promised. _"We'll keep her safe."_

* * *

_"I want you all to imagine that Bella is Jenna," _Sam commanded as we arranged ourselves in a semi-circle around the two leeches.

A low growl spread rapidly down our line, sending the two creatures across from us into a defensive crouch. The male's eyes danced across us, assessing the threat. Embry stepped forward, the only one of us in human form. We took turns being the emissary and he'd drawn the short straw at breakfast. For some reason I never drew the short straw. I was convinced it was a conspiracy.

Embry shot us all a confused look at the growling before turning back to the predators before us. "So, we gonna do this thing?"

The male straightened slightly. "They are all very angry."

Embry shot us another look. "Yeah, I don't really know what's up with that. I can phase and see if you want."

The male considered the offer before shaking his head. He surely realized adding one more wolf to the numbers stacked against him might not be the soundest decision.

"Let's start with the rear attacks. I need a volunteer."

And so we began practice. Sam's command seemed to put the fire in us that we had previously lacked. Yes, our instincts had been there. We had been fighting our natural enemy all this time. But I suppose something in us had always known that these two had not been trying to hurt us. Even imagining that Jenna was in their presence did the trick though.

We moved faster. We fought harder. We were even sneakier. We stopped thinking about our movements and fought on instinct. The wolf truly took over, fighting to defend someone we all loved and cherished.

I ripped that fucker's arm off before I realized what I was doing. As soon as I heard the screeching of a vampire being torn apart I came back to myself and stopped. The male straightened with a laugh. The insane motherfucker laughed.

"I think that's all the practice we need for today," he said as he calmly reattached his arm. He gave us all a long look. "I don't know what's gotten into you, but the improvement is astonishing."

Embry stood, brushing grass from his ass. "So, when do you want to meet next?"

The creature deferred to his little mate. She beamed a smile up at him, her eyes sparkling. "Oh, we might be able to squeeze one more in before they get here. Maybe mid-week? Brush up on what we learned today before the battle next Saturday?"

His crazy ass little girlfriend was insane too. She looked like she was looking forward to the fight. She'd probably already laid out the perfect outfit for it too.

I heard Bella walking up behind us. Over the last few hours, I'd nearly forgotten about her presence to tell the truth. She shot Jake a sad little glance as she walked around us to stand between the pack and the leeches. Jake had been true to his word. He hadn't let Bella use him even once since he'd found her acting all buddy-buddy with that little leech bitch standing across from us. Even after they had their little falling out he had refused her calls. Now she was stuck between the two sides, with neither wanting anything to do for her. The wolves were sick of her using us and the leeches didn't want her if she didn't want their brother. So now she was standing there with her sad little girl pout, like that was going to make one or all of us feel sorry for her. Hell, I was tempted to phase just so I could stand there and smirk at her.

"What can I do to help with the battle?"

I rolled my eyes. Suicidal. The girl was suicidal.

The male leech considered her for a moment. "This army of Victoria's is supposed to be made up of newborns. Your presence alone would distract them immensely."

Bella nodded. "So if I was just standing here in the meadow?"

He smiled an evil little grin. "Exactly."

Bella's eyes lit up slightly. She was clearly getting off on the idea of martyring herself. "What if I nicked my finger and maybe spread little drops of blood in different places? Would that help any?"

"It couldn't hurt our cause."

Yes, she definitely wanted to die.

How the hell were we supposed to focus on taking out these newborns if we were trying to keep Bella's neck safe?

_"Fuck her," _Jake growled.

I sighed. _"You say that now, but when there's a newborn with his teeth three inches from her throat, you're only going to be thinking about protecting her."_

His bitterness over being kicked aside for a bloodsucker was clouding his judgement. His pride was hurt so he wasn't thinking clearly. But when I'd heard her screaming as she went over that cliff, I hadn't given a flying fuck who she was. I had to save the human. She could have been a serial killer for all I cared. I still would have saved her. It was in the wolf genetics. Human in danger equaled wolf to the rescue. No matter who the human was.

_"Fine. I'll protect her from the fucking leeches. But as soon as they're gone that bitch is out of my life for good."_

* * *

**AN: Look what the Easter Bunny brought ya'll, another chapter! All I got was a couple kids hyped up on the candy they kept sneaking when I wasn't looking. **


	42. Chapter 42

**Chapter 42**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

* * *

**PPOV**

"And I still say she'd be too distracting. Every time we lose sight of her we'll stop worrying about the bloodsuckers and start worrying about where the pale face is," I argued.

Jake shook his head dismissively. "We'll assign two wolves to her."

"That doesn't make any sense! That leaves us two wolves short in the battle."

Sam sighed wearily. "What are we supposed to do, Paul? That red-head wants Bella. Wherever Bella is, that's where the leech is going to go. We sure as hell aren't going to hide Bella with our girls. We can't leave her alone. If we leave her with one or two of our wolves in a secluded location we're still short in the battle."

"But at least there are less leeches there to attack her," I pointed out. "Her odds would be better."

"And if we're wrong and the red-head shows up for the battle? We've shorted ourselves two fighters." Quil pointed out.

"I'll do it." Leah's voice surprised us all.

She was sitting on Sam and Emily's counter, licking icing off her fingers from the cupcakes she'd just inhaled.

"You'll do what?" Sam's face was a combination of confusion and distrust.

"I'll guard Bella somewhere away from the battle. Somewhere close enough that I can get back to help if I'm needed. I'm the fastest runner. I could make it back to the meadow faster than any of you."

"You don't even like Bella," Jake accused.

Leah arched an eyebrow at him. "And that matters because?"

Sam considered her offer. "Where did you have in mind?"

"There's that old cabin not too far from the meadow. We could hole up there. I would stay in wolf form, to keep in touch."

Jake shrugged. "Whatever."

Sam frowned. "I don't want you facing this Victoria creature alone, Leah."

"What? You don't think I'm capable of taking down a leech on my own?" She scowled at her former lover.

"That's not what I meant," Sam started.

But Leah cut him off. "No! You wouldn't say a damn word about any of the others doing this! Hell, you'd probably even let my little brother guard the leech lover alone. Just send the two of them out with a tent and some well wishes. What the fuck, Sam? Just because I have tits I'm not as good of a fighter now?"

Sam ran his hands over his face as we all watched yet another Leah meltdown. That girl needed some serious psychiatric help.

She jumped down off the counter, furious with his unwillingness to pursue the argument. Getting into his face she continued to push the issue. "You wanna see me fight? Test my ability to protect the pale face? You and me. Outside. Now."

Sam groaned, lowering his hands to the table with a weary look toward Leah. "That's enough. Sit your ass down and stop being such a drama queen."

Leah glared but sat, crossing her arms.

"Your idea has merit, Leah," Sam began slowly. "But what if the leech doesn't show up alone? She's crafty. I don't see her going into this situation without backup."

Leah dropped her eyes to the table. The stubbornness in her not allowing her to acknowledge his point.

"So I want you to have help with this. Quil, you'll be backing Leah up. And Paul, I want you to keep an ear out for Leah and Quil during the battle. If that red-head shows up over there, I want you to get over there as quickly as you can."

I frowned at him. He shook his head at me before I could protest.

"This bitch has slipped away from us every time we thought we almost had her. It's going to take the element of surprise to catch her."

"So you're taking three experienced fighters away from the army of newborns to fight the one leech?" I asked him, disbelief and rebellion coloring my tone.

The Alpha stared back at me, his gaze heavy on my own. "I am aligning my men according to the greatest threat. Once that danger is eliminated, you will all join the pack, if the battle is still being fought."

"And the imprints? Who's guarding them?" Jared asked quietly, an underlying note of steel in his voice.

"They'll be here, with Seth."

Leah snorted. "One wolf huh? For all the imprints?"

"Doesn't leave many for the battle," Embry worried quietly.

I was also worried. Only one wolf stood between Jenna and possible death. What if a leech got past us? What if more than one got past us? Seth wouldn't be able to stop them all if for some reason they found our girls.

"They need a backup plan," I blurted out.

Everyone turned to me, confusion and interest written across their faces.

"What kind of backup plan did you mean?" Sam asked.

"I don't know! Just something to protect them in case Seth is overwhelmed."

Jake snorted. "Yeah, cause a gun is going to do so much good."

Collin shook his head. "A gun would never work. It'd have to be something cool, like a flame-thrower."

Brady's eyes widened. "I've always wanted one of those."

I nodded my head. "Exactly. That'd take care of a leech. A flame-thrower."

"And how the hell are we supposed to get our hands on a few by Saturday," Jake wondered aloud.

* * *

**Jenna POV**

So, I hadn't really planned my Friday night activities, but still, this was not the way I had intended to spend my evening. Who does this? In what alternate reality was _this_ in any way, shape, or form normal? And I had thought my lifestyle was dangerous before. Oh, to be worrying about drug overdosing and alcohol poisoning again.

"So, you just point the nozzle away, aim, and pull the trigger. Easy as can be."

Sure enough, a tongue of flame licked out, igniting the wood Paul had set up in the classic campfire pyramid. My hands shook as I released the trigger, slowly lowering the contraption to the ground. What the hell was I thinking? Letting him strap that fucking thing to my back and talk me into using it? Was I out of my mind?

I glanced over at him to see that he was watching me with a worried gaze. "You okay, Jenna?"

My eyes shot away. I sought out Emily across the beach. She had Anderson in the sand, attempting to make a sandcastle. Of course, my little boy had no interest in her plans. He was concentrating on the way the sand felt in his hands, how it squished out from between his fingers when he balled up his little fist. At least he was a safe distance away from all this craziness.

A warm hand slid across my back. My brain instantly noted my lack of reaction to the sudden presence of Paul's hand. Or at least, my lack of a logical reaction. Instead of jumping in shock, I found myself exerting just the slightest backward pressure into his hand, like I was trying to get closer to it or something. Which was just preposterous.

"I…I don't feel comfortable operating that thing," I told him with a shaky voice.

Paul's hand began to rub calming circles on my back. "Hey, now. You did a great job. Look at that toasty fire. You did that. We've never had one started so quickly."

I shook my head. "I don't think I can do this."

Paul pulled me against his chest, still rubbing my back. "It's only one day, Babe. And it's just a backup anyway. I'm sure you'll never have to use it again after tonight. You'll just stand around holding it tomorrow, feeling stupid. We'll kill all those motherfuckers, come get you girls, and this'll be all over. We can put this thing away and you won't ever have to see it again."

I nodded into his chest, absorbing as much comfort as he could provide. I felt vaguely guilty for enjoying the imprint perks without giving Paul what he really wanted. But sometimes it felt so nice to be selfish and just take what he was offering.

After a few more moments I pulled away from Paul. "Thanks."

He shrugged. "It's what I'm here for."

That comment stuck with me for the rest of the night. All through the bonfire I couldn't stop thinking about what he meant by that. I tried to push the thought to the back of my mind so I didn't appear rude. But people noticed. Even Leah asked me what was wrong. Okay. So she didn't use those words. She put it more along the lines of "what's your fucking problem?" Eventually I had to beg off the night's events, saying I was too tired for one last party before the big war. Who does that anyway? They should all be getting a good night's sleep. Or at the very least strategizing.

So I took Anderson and I went home, Paul trailing me the whole way. He waited around while I greeted John. He even helped settle Anderson while I showered. Then he wished me a good night before retiring himself, saying he had to get rested for the big day.

I tried to sleep, but his words were haunting me. Did Paul think that his whole reason for existing was to comfort me? I didn't like the sound of that. He was more than just my shoulder to cry on. He was his own person. He was an individual. Why would he say something like that? Did he believe that was all he was?

I had to be reading more into it than he meant. Maybe I really was just too tired. I was doing that stupid teenage girl thing where a girl took a simple sentence and dissected it eighteen different ways until it had a completely different meaning than ever intended. Paul had just been mumbling meaningless nothings in an attempt to comfort me.

My brow furrowed. Hell. I didn't like that thought at all. How dare he say anything to me that wasn't true.

Opening my eyes, I stared at the ceiling. "You are officially insane, Jenna."

* * *

Paul was gone when I woke up the next morning. He still had to patrol, at least until time for the battle. Surprisingly, John was still sitting in the kitchen. I had expected him to be out fishing already. He was always out with Billy. He nodded in my direction while I took care of Anderson's breakfast and then my own.

He was being so quiet, I'd almost thought the man had slipped out. But then his voice surprised me as I rinsed my cereal bowl. I barely managed to hold onto it as I jumped.

"So, was anyone planning on telling me about the epic battle between good and evil?"

Oh shit. He sounded angry. But of course he did. I hadn't even thought about telling him. I was so used to living on my own during the week, handling my own problems that I had never once considered talking to John about this. But this was the kind of thing an uncle and guardian would want to know. This was a biggie after all. There was only a fucking army of newborn vampires headed our way. Honestly, his life was in danger too.

I turned slowly, my eyes lowered. I just couldn't make myself meet his gaze at the moment. "I'm so sorry, John. We weren't thinking."

"And it's today. Not much time for a man to prepare."

I moved to the table. "Oh, everything's ready."

"Is that a fact? And what is your idea of ready?"

So I told him the plan, down to the flame-throwers stashed at Sam and Emily's place for that afternoon. His face remained impassive throughout my explanation. Until that part at least. His eyebrows shot up.

"You're going to have flame-throwers? Inside a house? Are you all crazy? What happens if you have to use it? Did anyone think of that? You do realize that houses are also flammable, right?"

I blushed, looking away. "I don't think anyone really envisioned us having to pull the trigger."

John shook his head. "Flame-throwers are like guns. You don't carry one around unless you're willing to pull the trigger. So, you girls will be staying outside with those things."

I frowned. I didn't like the idea of being outside if a vampire showed up. It felt so much more exposed than I did indoors.

John saw my expression and rolled his eyes. "What? You think you're any safer inside? They can get you just as easily inside as they can outside. But I think Sam probably wants to have a house to come home to. Don't you?"

I nodded slowly.

"Great. We'll make it fun. We'll grill out on the back porch. It'll be like a cook-out."

"Fun."

John chuckled at my lackluster response, eyeing my face the whole time. "You were up worrying about this all night, weren't you?"

I shrugged, looking away. "No."

He smiled softly. "It's okay to be worried. You'd be crazy not to. Those things are dangerous. But the guys will be fine, and they'll beat those things. Paul will come back cockier than ever."

I shook my head. "He isn't cocky."

John snorted. "Right."

"No, really. He's not. Not once you get to know the real person."

John's eyebrows rose. "Fine, fine. I'm sure there's more to him than attitude and appetite."

"I just wish he could see that there's more to him," I murmured.

I could feel my uncle's eyes studying me carefully. I turned to Anderson, cleaning him up and releasing him from his highchair, trying to ignore John as I did. But he just kept staring.

"Jenna, what's really bothering you?" His voice was filled with concern, and that's what broke me.

I turned to him, holding my son close. "I don't know. I just…I feel like he's losing himself in me…you know? He made a simple little statement last night and it's thrown me all off balance. He probably didn't even mean it, but it's all I can think about now."

"What'd he say?" John asked quietly.

"Well…I was anxious and he comforted me. So I thanked him and when I did, he said 'that's what I'm here for'. Like there's no other reason for him to even exist. I can't be his only reason for living. He has to _be_ just for himself."

John smiled sadly. "That's imprinting for you. The boys…they _do_ center themselves around their imprint."

Alarm shot through me. What the hell? I wanted John to reassure me that Paul had just been talking out of his ass, not that he meant every word he said. "That's fucked up, John. I can't be his world."

John reached across the table, grabbing my hand. "Calm down. You don't have to do anything. You just have to be yourself. That's enough for him. That's all he wants. He just wants you to be alive and well."

I breathed deeply. "That's it? I thought he wanted love and forever and all that bullshit."

John shrugged. "He'd be ecstatic if that happened, but he doesn't need it."

"Good, because love isn't even real. All that gooey lovey-dovey shit doesn't ever last."

John shook his head. "You're right. It doesn't."

Finally! Someone was being reasonable.

"But then again, that's not really love either."

Say what?

"That's pheromones, dopamine, lust and basically just a chemical reaction knocking us for a loop when we first meet someone. Real love is completely different. Real love is deep. It's choosing someone despite their flaws, maybe even because of their flaws. It's choosing to stick with someone who drives you up the fucking wall. It's putting up with the bad days and savoring the good ones. It's putting the other person's needs before your own. Real love isn't that inferno that catches in an instant and burns through everything in its path, leaving behind only devastation. Real love is the embers in the fireplace, the banked fire. Even when you think the fire is dead, with the right coaxing it can come roaring back to life, to warm you for another day."

"Damn, John. You should have been a poet."

He smirked at me. "Funny. I'm being serious here, kid. Real love is emotional, but they are deeper emotions. Sometimes they sneak up on us, growing so slowly that we don't even realize it's happening."

"So, great and mighty love oracle, how does a person know if these things sneak up on them?"

"You have to ask yourself a few questions. Do you want to live the rest of your life with the person? What if the person chose to live the rest of his life with someone else? How would you feel about that? Could you let them go easily or would you put up a fight? Do _you_ want to be the person he chooses to spend the rest of his life with instead? The answers should make it fairly obvious."

Huh. That seemed like an easy enough test. But my mind was shying away from taking it. Maybe I didn't really want to know the answer.

* * *

For someone who didn't want to know the answer, I sure as hell couldn't stop thinking about it. And really, there were better things to be thinking about. I mean, I was standing in Sam Uley's backyard with a fucking flame-thrower strapped to my back and all I could think about was whether or not I loved Paul. Priorities Jenna.

But seriously. Did I? I glanced toward John out of the corner of my eye. He was grilling the burgers, whistling tunelessly. He looked like he didn't have a care in the world. Lucky bastard. I kind of hated him for planting this thought in my head that I couldn't get out. My mind was swirling. I could not face a vampire attack with these stupid thoughts confusing me.

I was going to have to take the fucking test. Dammit it.

* * *

**AN: And there you go. An early update, cause I'm stuck home sick and there's only so much TV I can watch.**


	43. Chapter 43

**Chapter 43**

**Disclaimer: Twilight still belongs to SM**

* * *

**PPOV**

I paced back and forth across my little patch of the meadow, a whine escaping my throat. What the hell had Jenna so anxious and confused? The emotions pouring out of her were driving me out of my mind. I had to find out what was bothering her.

_"__**Please**__, Sam," _I asked one more time.

_"Seth, look at Jenna for us," _Sam commanded, a tone of aggravation in his thought.

Seth grumbled as he turned away from the woods, his eyes searching out Jenna. She stood at the edge of Sam's yard, staring sightlessly out into the trees. Her brow was furrowed as if she was deep in thought. Her lips were pinched together. She was clearly troubled about something.

_"She's worried about the fight. Like __**you**__ should be," _Sam grumbled at me. "_You have to get your head in the game. You do want to be able to protect her, don't you?"_

I turned to him with a growl. How dare he insinuate that I couldn't protect my mate.

_"If you don't get your head out of your ass, you'll be useless. Focus!"_

I turned away from him and tried to concentrate on the path the newborns would be emerging from. It was hopeless though. Jenna was all I could think about. Her emotions were churning through me. My stomach was in turmoil. Whatever she was dealing with, it wasn't related to the battle. A chill swept down my spine.

The blonde leech crouched, a feral grin spreading across his face. "Here they come."

We couldn't smell or hear them yet, so how could he know? His wife was practically jumping up and down in excitement. It had to be their _gifts_ that had clued them in to the approach. A few seconds later we got the first whiff of the rancid too-sweet smell. The stench was over-whelming. Sam stiffened. There were so many of them. How were we going to handle so many?

_"They are untrained. We can do this," _Sam assured. _"We __**will**__ kill them all."_

That last though was an Alpha command. I felt it settling over me, soothing my nerves and filling me with a sense of confidence. I could do this, because I _had_ to. I had been ordered to. My thoughts about Jenna compartmentalized over to the side of my brain. They didn't really shut off. They just ran in the background for awhile. And then the meadow began to fill with glittering skin.

* * *

**Jenna POV**

Emily, Kim and I all gasped simultaneously. John looked up from the grill as Seth growled.

"It's started." I whispered, holding my chest.

My heart was racing. My hands were starting to shake with the overload of adrenaline pumping through my body. I needed to run. I needed to fight. But there was no one here to fight. I gripped the nozzle of the flame-thrower until my knuckles began to turn white.

"Why don't you come on back here, Jenna," John said quietly.

I looked around and realized that I was standing at the edge of the woods now. How the hell did I get there? When did I start edging toward the trees? What did I think I was going to do? Go help the guys fight the vampires? Cause one little flame-thrower was going to really help them. I'd just get in the way.

I rushed back to the group, walking backward, suddenly nervous about the trees. I didn't really want to turn my back to them. Now that I knew there were vampires in the area, I didn't trust the shadows there. What if a few had broken off from the group? What if they had smelled us and gotten a little hungry? Decided they needed a little snack before the big fight?

Seth began pacing back and forth in front of us girls, a continuous low growl emitting from him.

I chewed on my lower lip, my eyes scanning the trees. But I wasn't seeing anything suspicious. Nothing was happening. That was a good thing, of course. But at the same time, it was exhausting to just sit here and wait. I could feel Paul's anger mixed with excitement. Every so often there would be a sharp stab of pain that would take me by surprise. I tried not to cry out when it would happen, but I couldn't always stop myself. The other girls would gasp or yelp at random moments too. I felt tears slipping down my face as I realized that these were the times that the boys were being hurt in the attack. I could almost feel Paul shaking the pain off and moving on.

The thought made my heart hurt. I wanted to march over to the cabin where Bella was hiding and use the flame-thrower on her. All of this was her fault. All of the wolves were hurting because of her. Paul was being hurt because of her.

A hand settled on my shoulder, squeezing softly. "He'll be fine. They'll all be fine."

I leaned against John, soaking in the comfort he offered.

I had been so stupid. Paul was out there, possibly fighting to the death for some stupid bitch. I had wasted all that time. I had been so stubborn with myself for all those months and stolen so much time from us both. Time that we would never get back. And now I might never get the opportunity to tell him.

When my own mother posed a threat to my son, I turned her in to the police. I did not agonize over the decision for months. I picked up the phone and called. When I felt like there was a chance my son would be taken from me and placed in a separate foster home, I packed up and drove cross-country, that night. I did not take weeks to plan and worry. I was the type to consider my alternatives, make up my mind and set a plan into motion.

So why had I sat here dithering back and forth for months on end when it came to this situation with Paul? Why could I not decide if I would accept Paul or not? It just didn't make sense. And while standing there, staring out into the shadows in the woods as I contemplated John's little love test, I came to a realization. I couldn't make a decision about Paul because I'd already made it. I made it at the very beginning. I just hadn't been willing to admit it to myself because it hadn't been the 'logical' decision. My mind hadn't agreed with the decision my heart made. So it argued.

And all that time that my head and my heart dueled over whether I should stay and love Paul, my subconscious had quietly gone about the business of doing so. I took care of him in the only way I knew how without tipping him off to my true feelings, because I didn't even know my true feelings. I cooked for him. In fact, I cooked his favorite meals all the time, in abundance. That boy was never hungry if I could help it. He always had clean clothes to wear, which wasn't easy the way he went through shorts. The sheets on his bed were always clean, and that shocked even me. I would never have even considered stripping and changing the sheets, unasked, for someone else before.

I also helped him with the things that were troubling him. Together we had pulled his Spanish grade up from failing to a B average. That was astounding for someone who missed more of the class than he attended. And we talked about things. Things he probably didn't even talk about with his pack mates. I hadn't expected to ever hear another word about his father after that incident from the grocery store, but sometimes when we were eating dinner, he'd bring up a story from his past, out of the blue. His childhood abuse had been different than mine, but just as bad. He always spoke about it in a detached way, like it didn't really bother him anymore, but I knew better. He wouldn't be talking about it, thinking about it, if it didn't bother him. So we talked it over, pretending it was an intellectual exercise, both of us knowing the whole time that what we were really doing was giving the hurt little boy inside of him a voice for the first time.

And all of this led me to one inescapable conclusion. _Holy fucking shit. I love him._

How had I ignored it for so long? I had been walking around with blinders on for months. It seemed so obvious now. I must not have wanted to see it before. The logical side of me didn't want to believe that it was possible, or more likely, the smart path to take.

Well, _fuck_ logic.

Anxiety shot through me. Paul was in a damn _war_ right now. Well I had fucking fantastic timing didn't I? I couldn't realize this last night? When we could have at least spent a few hours discussing what this realization meant for us, what we were going to do next. When we could have at least said a proper goodbye with a real kiss and everything? Fuck, now I was mad at myself.

* * *

**PPOV**

_"Do you see her?" _Sam asked me.

"_I'm a little busy right now_," I replied as I tore through a bloodsucker's throat, dislodging its head.

_"The red-head, Paul. Have you seen the red-head?"_

Shit. I glanced around quickly, sidestepping a charging newborn. Then I whipping around and attacked it from the rear, taking it by surprise before resuming my sweep of the battlefield. Fuck. The leader wasn't here. Which meant she was probably on her way to one of the other locations we were guarding. My heart froze. That bitch better be after Bella and not my Jenna.

I took off across the meadow. Unfortunately I had been in the middle of the action, so it took a good twenty minutes to get to the edge of the fighting. I took a few hits in my rush to get out of the battle. I should have been paying more attention. Thankfully their venom wasn't fatal for us. It just hurt like a motherfucker. And I made sure to let the ones who inflicted the pain know exactly how I felt. They may have felt that losing their life was too high a price to pay, but fuck 'em. They came to my rez, threatening my land, my people, my family. They were all walking dead men. Literally.

Finally, I was free of the tumult and running through the trees. I made up some of the time I had lost in the battle.

The cabin was trashed. Quil was lying unconscious next to a pile of vampire ashes. Leah and Bella were nowhere to be seen. The scent of the red-headed bitch was everywhere and it was headed straight toward the imprints. I took off at a dead run, praying that I wasn't too late.

* * *

**Jenna POV**

Seth's pacing abruptly stopped. He spun around, snarling at something the rest of us couldn't see as all the hair on his back stood up.

Oh shit.

That could not be a good sign.

Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.

How do I work this thing again? I had just pulled the trigger last time, right? And we'd have a toasty vampire. We could do s'mores over the ashes.

I trembled slightly as my ears began to pick up the sound of leaves crunching.

And then the most beautiful, vicious looking creature I had ever seen stepped out of the trees. Her red curls were wild and unkempt, with twigs and leaves caught randomly throughout. Her feet were bare. Her outfit looked like she had mugged a gypsy and a hippie and thought their clothes were appropriate for mix and match.

She sneered at Seth. "Oh look, another puppy."

He growled and she smirked in response. "Your bite better be much worse than your bark."

I tightened my hold on my weapon. This creature oozed danger. Instinctually I knew that this was the most dangerous predator I would ever cross paths with.

Emily stepped forward. "Get out of my yard, Bitch."

Oh, Emily. That's so cute to try to take a stand like that. Now get back in formation.

The leech smiled at Emily, genuinely amused by her. "I like your spunk. I could use someone like you in my army." The creature tilted her head as she examined Emily closer. "Clearly you're accustomed to some level of danger. And yet you call me a beast. Look what they've done to you."

Emily shrieked in rage, charging forward and pulling the trigger at the same time. A tongue of flame licked out, igniting the hair on the vampire's head. It was engulfed and out again in a split second, leaving the creature bald. The leech's expression turned to one of shocked outrage. She back-handed Emily, sending the woman flying across the yard to land in a heap.

I watched my friend for movement, vaguely aware that Seth had leapt onto the creature. My mind was twisting. Why hadn't she ignited? Vampires were flammable. Paul had said so. They burned the pieces. That's how they disposed of the bodies.

Kim ran over to Emily, dropping to her knees. She ran her hands over Emily's head, checking for bumps. From my spot at the edge of the deck I could see that Emily still hadn't opened her eyes.

We were fucked. If the flame-throwers weren't going to help us, then we were dead. Seth was a great kid, but he wasn't doing much against the leech. I turned back to see him nipping at the creature. It looked like he was being more of an annoyance than anything. The bald vampire was spinning, trying to capture him as Seth nimbly snapped at her, opening up small wounds all over her body. But he wasn't doing any long-lasting damage.

John rushed over to Emily, pulling the heavy pack off of her shoulders. He slipped it over his own and came back to stand by me. Leaning into me, he spoke quietly. "He's fighting strategically. He's giving us a chance."

I watched Seth lunge in again, opening up a wound high on her shoulder. It earned him a shot to the ribs that rang out with a loud crack. Cringing, I frowned. "How?"

"It's not the skin that's flammable." John stated quietly before moving away from me.

And that's when I noticed the liquid that was draining from all those little wounds. Some of them were even beginning to heal up, but the liquid still remained on the skin. It was the venom running through their veins that we had to light! No wonder she hadn't caught when Emily attacked her! Hair was always flammable, but once that source of fuel was gone the fire had died just as quickly as it had started. Seth was trying to open up as many wounds on her body as he could, so when we hit her with the fire next, she'd go up like we'd thrown gasoline on her.

I loved that kid. He was getting his own turkey just as soon as I had the time to make one. And I'd make him all the fixings to go with it. I'd stuff him so full he'd have another stomach ache just like on Thanksgiving.

A loud whimper caught my attention. Seth flew through the air, slamming against a tree before landing on the ground. I held my breath as I watched him, but he didn't rise to his feet. He was knocked out. At least, I prayed that he was knocked out. I couldn't even let myself consider any other possibility. My gaze whipped around to the leech.

She was stalking toward Kim and Emily, an evil little smirk on her face. Kim was scrambling to her feet, trying to get her flame-thrower nozzle back around to the front.

"Such pathetic little creatures. It's sad really, that this is the best they could do. So called natural enemies."

Her wounds were healing at an astonishing rate. We had to kill her now, before our chance was gone. Seth was out, he couldn't help us now if we squandered our opportunity. I aimed the nozzle, positioned my finger on the trigger and stepped forward.

The movement drew her attention. She drew her lips back in a snarl and coiled to spring. Out of the corner of my eye I saw John step forward from her side. He was just inches from her. He distracted her from me for a second, saving me. I'd seen her fighting with Seth moments earlier and I knew that she would have been on me before I could have pulled the trigger.

John and I covered her in fire at the same time. Screaming, she backed up, nearly tripping over Emily. Kim jumped forward to drag Emily out of the way as the creature stumbled around for a moment. And then she was crumbling to the ground in a pile of ash.

I expected to feel victorious. Relieved. John and I had just saved ourselves, my son who was asleep in the house, Kim, Emily and countless other humans that the creature would have terrorized in the future. But all I felt was numb. I collapsed onto the deck steps, exhaustion pouring through me. Unbuckling the flame-thrower pack, I let it fall off of me.

I was somewhat aware of John looking over a phased Seth and Kim examining Emily with some concern, but I was just too overwhelmed to care anymore. Dropping my head into my hands I let the numbness wash over me. I just needed the rest of the day to be excitement and drama free.

My heart started pounding again on its own. I jerked my head up, looking around me for whatever had caused the reaction. The others weren't acting any differently though. John was helping a now conscious Emily to a sitting position, speaking quietly with her. Kim was leaning against a deck support, quietly crying in relief while Seth sat beside her, his face pale with pain. None of them were looking around frantically like me.

So, this had to be Paul related. Most likely the battle. I frowned, looking down at my hands. The whole sharing of emotions bit was not ideal. At least not in this aspect. I could imagine times that it could be interesting to experiment with. Battle was not one of those times.

I dropped my face back down into my hands, only to jerk it back up as I heard the sound of something crashing through the leaves. Something coming this way. Something big.

No. Scratch that. Not something. Someone. Paul. I could feel him getting closer. My Paul GPS was in fine form.

His large silver wolf form came barreling out of the trees, earning a high-pitched scream from Kim. He spared her an annoyed glanced but his attention swung back to me. He ran straight up to me, not bothering to slow until the last moment so he had to skid to a halt. He didn't slow in enough time though and he ended up sliding into me, sending us both back a couple inches.

He buried his head into me with a low whine. I wrapped my arms around him, lowering my head into his fur. Tears dripped down my cheeks, getting lost in his thick fur. For the longest time we just sat there, me cradling his large head in my lap, my head resting on his back. I could hear the others moving around us, walking up the stairs around us to go into the house. But we stayed there, reassuring ourselves that we had both survived a horrific experience.

Finally I raised my head. He wasn't moving though. I guess he was comfortable exactly where he was. I chuckled, rubbing him on his head, just like he was a regular dog. He huffed then lifted his head from my legs. When his gaze met mine, eye to eye, I could swear there was a twinkle there.

And then his tongue flicked out, licking me from chin to forehead.

"Uh! Paul!" That was not what I meant by a real kiss. Not at all.

* * *

**AN: So, did Jenna's realization live up to your expectations? Yes? No? **


	44. Chapter 44

**Chapter 44**

**Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. **

* * *

**PPOV**

She tried to take the spot next to me, but I grabbed her, pulling her into my lap. I couldn't help myself. The wolf demanded closer contact. That had been way too close of a call. That fucking leech had been right there. She could be dead. I was so proud and so fucking pissed off at the same time. And relieved. I had never felt so relieved in my life.

Jenna stiffened for a second. I cringed. She was going to bolt out of my arms. The bond had been the only thing that made her so willing to hug me out in the back yard earlier. Now she was looking around the room nervously, clearly uncomfortable with the touching.

And then she relaxed. I pulled in a deep breath, my mind racing. What did this mean? I tried to calm my thoughts, my speeding pulse. I shouldn't get my hopes up. Maybe it meant nothing. She turned slightly, snuggling into my side. My wolf purred inside me, loving her actions. He told my mind to shut the fuck up and worry about it later, just enjoy the moment now.

"Did anyone hear anything from Leah? She had to be thinking something!" Sam repeated for the hundredth time.

Everyone looked around the room, searching for the answer in someone else's face. Because none of us had it in our own head. We'd all been focusing so much on the leeches in front of us we hadn't caught a single thought from the girl before she disappeared.

"Dammit! We need Quil to wake up and tell us what the fuck happened back there!" Sam yelled.

I wrapped my arms protectively around Jenna, watching Sam warily. He didn't usually lose his cool like that. Especially not while Emily was touching him. She looked up at him from her position at his side and murmured that it would be okay, they would find Leah and Bella.

Embry stood up, leaning all of his weight on his right leg. "I'll go see if I can track them."

"Can you run yet?" Sam asked, eyeing the boy's left leg.

It had been snapped just a half hour ago near the end of the battle. Embry put his weight down on it and blanched before sitting back down. He clenched his jaw and shook his head, tears forming in his eyes. "I'm sorry."

I looked around the room. Everyone else had sustained far more damage in the fight than I had, since they had stayed in longer. I had gone running off to fight the big bad vampire, only to find her a pile of ash. They were all still patching themselves up. And Quil. Quil wouldn't be right for a long time, if ever. Closing my eyes, I squeezed Jenna, placing a kiss on the top of her head.

"I'll do it."

Her little fists immediately balled up against my chest as her worry washed over me. A part of me realized the large grin that was spreading across my face wasn't really appropriate, but damn, my girl was worrying about me. How could I _not_ be ecstatic about that?

"I'll be okay, Babe. I'll find Leah and Bella and bring them back safe in no time."

She wrapped her arms around my middle and squeezed. It was the best feeling in the world, my Jenna voluntarily holding me, hugging me. But it couldn't last. I had to go out there and find my pack mate. I let myself revel in her arms for another thirty seconds before I gently pulled her arms off me. Then I shifted her over to the couch cushion next to me and stood. It was physically painful to move away from her when she was finally opening up to me like this. But it had to be done. I had responsibilities, to my pack and to my reservation. Leah wouldn't be AWOL for no reason.

Jenna's eyes glittered with moisture as she watched me moving away from her. I had to rip my gaze away from her or I wouldn't be able to walk out the door. When I looked away my eyes landed on Sam, to see him giving Emily a final kiss before stepping out of her arms. So, it looked like I wouldn't be on this little rescue mission alone.

We were silent as we ran to the cabin, or as silent as we could be in wolf form anyway, each of us wrapped up in his own thoughts. We snapped to attention though as soon as the cabin came into sight. There were obvious signs of struggle. The railing along one side of the porch was smashed, splintered remains poking up at odd angles. Two trees were down a couple yards from the structure, broken off a couple feet up from the ground. One had a large limb torn off, like a leech had attempted to use it as a baseball bat. And from the way Quil's left side had been crushed, that might be exactly what had happened.

Our noses were burning from the stench of leech though. I frowned as I surveyed the scene again. There was a small ash pile next to the spot we'd found Quil. A surge of pride momentarily overtook me. Quil had been beaten half to death, but he had still killed that fucker.

Then there was the red-headed bitch. She'd gone after my Jenna. And Jenna had torched her ass. So, why was the smell so strong here? Two bloodsuckers shouldn't stink up the place so much.

_"That's because they didn't. And I think I can smell Leah's scent on their trail."_

Sam was across the yard, already following a scent trail into the woods. The trail was heading away from the battle and Sam's house though. Why would Leah go that way? Why would any vamps go that way?

_"Because they had Bella I imagine."_

I snorted. Good riddance.

But Leah was down that trail. So we set our noses to the trail, our hackles raised at the smell of our natural enemy. A growl worked its way up my throat as we moved away from the cabin and the scents from the two dead vampires cleared away. The new scents began to distinguish themselves.

_"There are at least three."_ I pointed out to Sam.

_"Or were, depending on how much damage Leah has been able to inflict."_

I didn't comment on the worry underlying his thought. How much damage could one wolf do against three leeches? Or more importantly? How much damage could three leeches do against one wolf? One that has been potentially injured in a battle already? I shoved the sickening thought away and sped up.

_"We're coming Lee-Lee," _Sam murmured in his thoughts.

Soon the smell of salt water began to weave through the bleach smell of the leeches. It made for a pleasant distraction from the stench. And then we were breaking out of the woods and onto the beach, both of us too focused on the trail to notice how close we'd come to potential society. Sam and I jerked to a halt, scanning the beach for any human witnesses. But the day was too cloudy and chilly for the beach.

_"Fuck!" _Sam's mental yell echoed through my head. _"We can't follow a scent through the fucking ocean."_

I ran my nose up and down the beach for a couple miles while Sam glowered out to sea. But it was hopeless. I trotted back to Sam, my head down in defeat. They had all gone into the water. Even Leah. What the hell was that girl thinking? Had she been thinking? Had she even gone in willingly? Or had she been dragged in? Was she even still alive?

Sam rounded on me with bared teeth. I lowered my head, sinking my shoulders in submission. I kissed sand letting him know I recognized his dominance. He finally backed off, turning back to watch the waves.

He stiffened to attention next to me. _"What's that?"_

I jerked up, scanning the water with him. Then my eyes caught it. There was something in the water. Something coming this way. I peered closer. Sam and I realized at the same time. We both leapt in, swimming for all we were worth. He reached her a few seconds before I did and phased, sliding an arm around her. Then I was there, accidentally dunking under and taking in a mouthful as I phased in the water.

We pulled her to shore, collapsing on the sand and pebbles. I winced when I realized that all three of us were naked, but then shrugged. Fuck it. No one else was here to see, and all of us had seen it before.

Leah coughed up a lung-full of water. Tears streamed down her face as she continued coughing for a few more moments. Then she turned her face toward Sam with the saddest, most defeated expression I had ever seen.

"I tried. I tried so fucking hard. But I couldn't get past her. Every time I got up, she'd just _look_ at me and…Sam, it was the worst pain I've ever felt. I couldn't move. I couldn't breath. I couldn't think. It hurt so bad, I _wanted_ her to kill me, just to make it stop. Eventually I blacked out, and when I woke up they were gone."

"It's okay. We're just glad you're alive and okay." He reassured.

She shook her head. "It's not okay. They took Bella. It was weird."

Sam sat up, frowning down at Leah. "How?"

"Well, the one that hurt me, she seemed really upset that Bella wasn't hurting too. So she wanted to just kill her, and I think they were supposed to kill her anyway, since she was a human who knew about them. But then, one of the guys with her made a comment that some Arrow guy would want to meet her. The little bitchy one got really pissy about it but they grabbed Bella and ran off with her."

Sam ran his hands through his wet hair. "How the hell are we supposed to track them now?"

* * *

**Jenna POV**

I curled into the corner of the couch, wrapping my arms around my knees. I felt like I had just gotten Paul, really gotten him. And now he was gone. We'd never sat that close. He had never held me like that when I wasn't freaking out. It felt so good. I needed all of this shit to be over so I could finally just sit him down and talk to him about what was really going on between us.

I frowned down at the couch cushion. We would have to have a serious talk. I did love him. I knew that now. But what did that mean for our relationship? Did we just jump right into a boyfriend/girlfriend scenario? Did we start out slow? I had never really had a serious relationship before. All of my prior experience was party related. I had never in my life had a relationship. Nervousness shot through me, settling in my stomach, twisting it up into knots. How did I handle myself in a relationship? What did girlfriends do?

The couch shifted as someone sat down next to me. Then little hands latched onto my arms, pulling against me. I smiled as Anderson pulled himself out of John's arms and over to my lap. He was well rested after his nap. The little bugger had slept through the whole battle, missing all of the anxiety. His smiling face wiped away some of my nerves, replacing my anxiety with a sense of relief.

My son was safe. There was no army of deranged, blood-thirsty monsters running toward him now. There was no threat of a psychotic serial killer vampire hell-bent on revenge showing up at our house in search of her prey. The boys surrounding me had saved us all.

And they were probably starving.

"Hey, John, wanna grab those burgers from the deck? Think they're still warm?" They hadn't been sitting out there too long, had they?

John sat up, his eyes lighting up as I gave him something to do.

Emily smiled at me. "Let me run to the store and get some chips and things."

Brady and Collin stood. They had healed to the point of being covered in cuts and bruises, but they could walk easily. "We'll go with you."

John's cell phone rang as we were setting the table. He took the call, then handed it to Jake.

Jake cringed as soon as he said hello, along with all of the guys in the room.

"I'm sorry, Dad! I just forgot to call you. Things have been a little crazy, okay?"

I switched Anderson to the other hip, watching what looked like a verbal ass chewing.

Jake began tearing at a string hanging off the bottom of his shorts. "I know I said I'd call as soon as the battle was over. I didn't mean to make you worry. We've been busy getting ourselves all cleaned up and trying to track down Bella and Leah."

Even I heard the yelling over the phone after that statement. I couldn't make out the words, but whatever they were, they were unpleasant.

Jake ripped a two-inch hole in his shorts. "Shit. Huh? Oh, no I wasn't talking to you, Dad. Sorry. Yes, I understand that next time I fight an epic vampire war I'm to call you immediately after it's over."

He paused, listening. "Yeah, Bella and Leah are missing. Quil was hurt pretty bad. His side is crushed. We're not sure it's healing right. Sam tried setting it, but it doesn't look good. And he still hasn't woken up. And Sam and Paul went off looking for the missing girls. The rest of us will heal."

I sighed as Jake ended the phone call. Smoothing my son's hair I leaned into the arm John had thrown around my shoulder. We were lucky that John could be here for me today. Without him, I'd probably be dead, but also, he didn't have to spend the day worrying. Billy had volunteered to keep up the regular fishing routine with Charlie, to keep him out of the way. So all day Billy had been forced to keep up a cheerful façade while he was being driven out of his mind with worry for us all. And then Jake had to go and forget to call his dad to let him know he was still alive. Idiot boy.

Every boy in the room suddenly turned to the door with a growl.

Jake stood, his form shaking. "What the hell are they doing here?"

He stalked forward, yanking it open to reveal three of the beautiful, deadly creatures standing there, one with his hand upraised as if to knock. I gasped, stumbling backward, raising a hand to shield my son.

"What do you want?" Jake snarled.

"My son informed me of the extensive damage to your young friend. I believe that if not set properly, he will not heal well. He could be disfigured for life. I would like to offer my services."

I frowned, studying their faces. They were as pale and beautiful as the creature I had killed in the backyard. But their eyes were different. Instead of the red hue these eyes were a strange brownish color. So, they must be the infamous Cullens. And the spokesman at the door had to be the doctor, the leader.

"Why?" Jake asked, a note of distrust in his voice.

"It is our fault any of this has occurred. Please, I cannot bear the thought of any creature in the amount of pain he must be enduring."

Even I could hear the sincerity in his voice. "Jake, Quil needs this. Do it for your brother."

"Fine. Follow me."

The doctor's eyes flitted to me, sending me a grateful smile and a nod. I nodded back, keeping my hand over my son's head. Hey, they might say they were peaceful animal drinkers, but I wasn't taking any chances.

The younger male started to follow the doctor inside but stopped when he realized the tiny female wasn't following him in. He turned to her. "Alice?"

She shook her head. "They interfere too much. I need to keep trying, see if anything new comes up with Bella."

Jake rushed down the stairs. "What? You saw something about Bella? What did you see?"

The little creature took a step back as my large cousin rushed in on her. The male next to her hissed, sending Jake a clear back-off signal. Jake stopped moving, but watched her intensely.

"What did you see about Bella? Please, she's missing, along with one of our pack members."

The female vampire, Alice, cocked an eyebrow. "Well the wolf isn't with her, or I wouldn't be able to see anything. But, she was taken by the Volturi. I saw that much. Jane's little _trick_ doesn't seem to work on her, much like Edward's doesn't. So they are taking her to Aro. I haven't seen anything from that point. We may have to wait until Aro makes a decision about her."

The older vampire poked his head out of the spare room and called down the stairs. "I'm going to need some help up here. Several strong young men…and you'll need strong stomachs. We need to reset a lot of these bones."

It didn't take me very long to take Anderson and myself outside. By reset, the vampire had meant re-break and then set. Quil didn't stay asleep for that. And he didn't stay silent. If not for the help of every wolf in the house, he wouldn't have stayed on the bed either.

By the time Emily and the boys came back with food, no one was really very hungry. She looked around in confusion until John quietly explained what had happened. With tears in her eyes, Emily went into the kitchen and made a cup of tea, slipping various herbs into it. The doctor leech came downstairs, watching her work.

He nodded his head. "I gave him quite a large dose of morphine, but his metabolism is burning through it quickly. That shouldn't hurt him any."

I jumped when the back door burst open and both Sam and Paul rushed in. Before I knew what was happening, I was looking at Paul's back, one of his arms reaching back to hold me behind him. Looking around, I saw Emily in the same position, pushed back against the counter with Sam guarding her from the vampire she had been calmly conversing with moments earlier. We rolled our eyes at each other.

The vampire spoke quietly. "Quil's bones have been set properly. From what Jake was telling me, he should be healed in two to three days at the most. I suggest feeding him extra calories, as his body will be using far more energy to heal than it usually burns. I've left a bottle of painkillers with Emily to help control the pain. I'm not sure how quickly his body will consume them, so I'm afraid I can only authorize doubling the maximum prescription. We don't want the boy to overdose, now do we?"

Sam and Paul slowly relaxed as they listened to the words.

"Did you two even stop to look at his eyes?" A weary, hoarse voice asked from behind me.

I turned to see Leah leaning against the doorway. Her hair was dripping wet and she was wearing a sundress and no shoes. I knew for a fact it was a spare dress that she kept stashed outside Sam's house in case she got caught out with no change of clothes after phasing. Her eyes caught my attention though. They looked so hopeless, so defeated.

I moved forward without thinking, pulling her into a hug.

She stiffened for a moment. But then she seemed to break against me, dropping her head onto my shoulder and sobbing. I felt soft hands surrounding us both and then we were in a group hug.

"Shh. It's okay, Leah."

"It's not okay!" Leah sobbed. "I lost her! It's all my fault!"

She pushed away from us. "It was my responsibility to keep her safe and now she's in the hands of those fucking leeches. She's gone and it's my fault. I failed."

"Even we can't stand against the Volturi guard," the Cullen leader stated from across the kitchen. "Especially Jane. There is no one who can stand against her."

Leah snorted. "No one except Bella apparently."

The younger vampire stepped into the room. "You saw this? You saw her withstand a direct assault from Jane? Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure. Pissed the little bloodsucker off too. She wanted to rip Bella's head off for it. But the others wouldn't let her."

He nodded. "No, they couldn't. Aro will want her for his guard. She'll have a strong gift once she's turned."

Jake growled behind him. "Bella won't be turned."

"We'll have to wait and see. Only Bella can make that decision. But after hearing this news, I can guarantee Aro will offer her the option." The leader stated confidently.

The group dispersed quickly after that. No one was really in the mood to hang out and chat. Jared and Kim couldn't keep their hands off each other, so Sam ordered them to find some privacy before he had to neuter someone. The younger boys drifted off separately to go reassure themselves that everyone was fine at home. The vampires left after checking in on Quil one last time. They assured the pack that they would give Sam a call if Alice had any more visions regarding Bella's future.

Paul picked up on my weariness easily. The day had held far too much excitement for my liking. Shortly after the vampires walked out the door, he picked Anderson up off the floor and motioned toward the door with his head, silently asking the question with his eyes. I smiled in relief.

Paul fed Anderson while I threw frozen pizzas in the oven. I liked to cook all my own food, but even I knew that sometimes it was best to have a quick option around. And this was definitely one of those times. We all ate in silence, too drained from the day to make an attempt at small talk.

After dinner, John made his way to his recliner, flicking the TV on to mindlessly flip through the channels. I just could not handle that noise. Besides, Anderson was already falling asleep. An early night sounded like exactly what I needed. I took a shower quickly then walked into my room.

I stopped halfway across my room to stare at my bed. I didn't want to climb into an empty bed. I didn't want to be alone right now. My chest felt like a large open wound. The day had been too traumatizing. A fucking vampire had tried to kill me. She would have gone after my son after she was done with me, out of spite. She would have killed my uncle too. My cousin had been fighting in a war. Paul, the boy I loved, had fought in a war today. He could have died. I could have lost everyone I loved all in one day.

I drew in a shaky breath. It was all too much.

Suddenly a pair of hot arms wrapped around me, pulling me into a warm chest. Breathing deeply, I allowed myself to accept the comfort that was flooding over me. One of the warm hands began to smooth my hair down. It was a motion I knew well, I did it for my own son when he was upset. I almost laughed at that. I was being comforted like a crying baby.

"Come on," Paul urged quietly, pulling me along with him toward the bathroom.

"Where are we going?"

"To bed."

One small part of me considered arguing. But I quickly stomped that little part down. I couldn't handle this shit on my own right now. Paul was who I needed, who I wanted. Why would I refuse to let him comfort me?

When we reached the edge of his bed he gently scooped me up and deposited me in the center of the bed. Then he slid in next to me, pulling me up against his chest. Sighing, I closed my eyes, relaxing against him. I could definitely get used to this.

Shit, John. My eyes popped open as I sat up, peering toward his door. "Your door is locked, right?"

"Of course. Now get back here."

He pulled me back against his chest, with more of me laying on top of him than the first time. I smiled, wrapping an arm across his stomach. Yes, I could definitely get used to this.


	45. Chapter 45

**Chapter 45**

**Disclaimer: I'm an over-worked accountant, not a professional author. Hence, Twilight is not mine to play with. But I do it anyway.**

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**Jenna POV**

There wasn't any light filtering in through the windows, thanks to the black-out curtains John had put up for Paul. So when my eyes first cracked open, I thought it was the middle of the night. Then my gaze landed on the alarm clock on the nightstand and I realized that Anderson should be waking up soon. I resisted the childish urge to stick my tongue out at the numbers on the clock. I'd fallen asleep so quickly the night before that I hadn't really had a chance to enjoy this new closeness with Paul. The thought of having to get up anytime soon annoyed me.

Paul's chest vibrated beneath me as he suddenly chuckled. "What the hell are you thinking about?"

I glanced up to see him grinning down at me. He appeared to be wide-awake, and like he'd been watching me for awhile. He had a couple pillows propping him up a little and his arms were crossed behind his head. Then his expression shifted, the grin melting off his face.

"Um…I didn't upset you did I?"

I pushed myself up to a seated position so I could talk to him face to face. "No. Why would you think that?"

He looked away, a frown marring his forehead. "I didn't really give you a choice about this. I just grabbed you and dragged you into my bed. You've gotta be pissed about that."

"Do I have to? I'd really rather not." I replied.

I watched his face as he tried to interpret my words. His frown deepened for a moment before his eyes finally moved up to mine. "What?"

"I'm not mad, Paul."

His jaw clenched. "I could feel you. You were irritated just a few seconds after you woke up. You were comfortable first, which would have been the bond. Then irritated."

I rolled my eyes. "Only because I realized that I was going to have to get up in a few minutes when Anderson wakes up hungry."

He studied me, trying to discern the truth of my words. What a pointless conversation. None of this would be happening if we'd had our relationship discussion already. If he knew how I felt. Nerves shot through me at the thought. How exactly was I supposed to tell him?

His eyebrows scrunched again. "What are you thinking about now?"

I chewed on my lip, watching him carefully. "We need to have a talk, Paul, about our relationship."

A wave of fear shot through me. It didn't take a genius to figure out that only some of that fear was mine.

He jerked forward, grabbing my hands in his. "Jenna, I know yesterday was Hell on Earth. I know it was rough on you. But I will never let you go through that again. And I know you aren't comfortable with this whole imprint shit. You don't like the way my choice was taken from me. But you know what? Fuck it. I _don't_ have a choice, but I still choose you."

I pulled one of my hands out of his, causing a flash of pain in his eyes that cut through my chest. But I had to shut the boy up because he was just going to keep going. I could see the desperation in his eyes. He thought he was losing me and he was about to attempt to talk me into staying, no matter how long it took. So I slid my hand over his mouth.

"Would you shut up?" I said with a small grin.

His sad eyes tore at my heart. But I knew that look wouldn't stay on his face for long, so I could handle it for now.

"What I was going to say is that our relationship needs to change because it's just not going to work as friends." His eyes became even harder to meet as tears began to fill them. I rushed to finish what I had to say. I was fucking this all up. "I love you too much to just be friends."

I pulled my hand away and held my breath, waiting for his reaction.

He stared at me for the longest time, breathing slowly. Finally, he opened his mouth. "I think I just had a heart attack."

Then he pulled me into a hug, squeezing me tightly against his chest. I closed my eyes and soaked in the love that was pouring in from the bond. I had never felt so much emotion in my life. Tears began to stream down my face as the feelings overwhelmed me.

"What did I do wrong now? Why are you crying?" His voice held a little edge of panic, so I pulled away from his chest, intent on reassuring him.

"Nothing. These are good tears."

I closed my eyes with a sigh as a warm hand began to wipe the moisture from my face.

"Jenna?" His voice called out softly.

I popped my eyes open to see him leaning toward me, eyeing me intently.

His eyes darted down to my lips and back up to meet mine. "Do you…I mean…Is it okay…Would you mind if I kissed you?"

I smiled. He was taking the time to ask me these things first. Why had I been so worried that he would just assume our relationship was at all systems go as soon as I admitted my feelings for him? This was Paul. He was going to be concerned about my well being and my reactions first.

So I leaned in and pressed my lips to his. He let out a strange sound, half groan, half growl, before reacting. His hands slid across my cheeks, emblazoning trails of heat as they made their way to tangle in my hair. Even his lips were hotter than a normal person's, literally and figuratively.

And those hands. Holy hell, those hands. They tilted my head so tenderly, turning my neck at just the right angle for those heated lips to nibble so deliciously. Part of my brain registered that this wasn't how this talk was supposed to be going, that in fact, we weren't actually talking at all. But I told that part of my brain to shut the fuck up. That this was a very acceptable alternative use of our mouths.

And then Anderson woke up.

I groaned in disappointment. Paul had been doing some really lovely things with his mouth, things that made me wonder what else he could do with that tongue of his. He chuckled, moving his forehead to mine.

"Don't worry, we will _definitely_ be picking up where we left off later."

His words snapped me back to reality.

What the fuck was I doing straddling Paul's lap?

And…um…where was my pajama top?

Embarrassment shot through me. My hands flew up to cover myself as heat filled my cheeks. I scrambled off of him.

"I've gotta go take care of Anderson now. John'll start to wonder what's up if I let him scream much longer."

* * *

**PPOV**

Shit. Fuck. Damn.

My girl admits that she loves me and what do I do? I fucking run her off in ten minutes. She had disappeared through the bathroom connecting our rooms, making sure to lock the door behind her. That little click had resonated through my room. I let my head fall back against my headboard with a thud. Damn it all. I was just the biggest fucking moron on the whole damn reservation.

One kiss. I just had to have that one fucking kiss didn't I? But of course I couldn't keep it at one kiss. No, I had to go and start sucking on her neck. Then I had to start exploring further. And she had felt so fucking good. Damn did my wolf know how to pick 'em. I had never felt curves as good as hers. My hands were already aching to be filled with her again. There were other parts of me that were aching for her as well. Dammit.

I stayed in bed, berating myself, until I heard her moving to the kitchen to take care of Anderson. Then I took myself into the bathroom for a cold shower. Thankfully she had the courtesy to unlock the door for me before she left her room for the morning. I could probably pick the lock if I had the patience. And I knew I could always just knock the thing down if I was desperate enough. But it was nice to know that she had forgiven me enough to allow me access to the fucking toilet.

I still wasn't comfortable by the time I made it to the kitchen, but I could look at Jenna without wanting to jump her. So that was an improvement.

She was still feeding Anderson his cereal when I walked in. So I decided to do something nice for her. I would make breakfast. I didn't really have much experience cooking, but I could handle pancakes and coffee. So I set about the job of feeding my mate.

A sense of pride filled me as I flipped the first pancake successfully. Pride and happiness. I glanced over to see Jenna smiling at me. Huh, so maybe not all of that was me. I couldn't really tell how much of the pleasure at my accomplishments belonged to me and how much belonged to her. But it didn't really matter, because either way I could tell that my girl was happy. And that was the important thing.

"Knock, knock," a voice called as the back door opened.

I growled low in my throat as Seth walked in through the laundry room. I wasn't really trying to threaten the kid, just let him know he wasn't exactly welcome at the moment. He sent me a little grin, but I could see that his heart wasn't in it so I backed off. The previous day's events rolled through my memory. The kid had been knocked out trying to save my mate. In fact, if not for him, she'd be dead. He had been the only reason Jenna and John had been able to light that bitch so easily. Look at what had happened to Emily when she tried. The woman had a concussion.

"You want some pancakes?" I offered. Least I could do was feed him.

He shrugged. Damn, the kid had to be in bad shape if he wasn't intrigued by the mention of food. I decided to feed him anyway so I mixed up another batch. I did want Jenna to get some food after all.

Seth sat down next to Jenna. He shot me a quick look before grinning at her. This smirk was a little livelier. "So, how'd you sleep Jenna?"

She sent him a suspicious look.

Shit. I would have to warn her to take a shower before we left the house and before any of the others stopped by. Seth could smell me all over her. I took a deep breath and nearly choked. Fuck. He could smell more than that. He could tell we'd been messing around too, or that she'd been a little too excited about something at the very least.

I sent him a glare, warning him as best I could without words to keep his little mouth shut.

Jenna caught the look. She frowned for a moment before blushing the cutest shade of red. She turned back to Anderson, yanking the bib over his head. Then she pulled him out of the highchair.

"I'm gonna go get him all cleaned up."

Then she rushed out of the room, embarrassment rolling off of her.

I turned to Seth with a glare. "Fucker."

"You're burning that," He replied casually.

"Shit!" I turned back to the pan I had completely forgotten about.

This was why I didn't cook. I always forgot that I was doing it. I would get bored and turn around to talk to someone, or try to multitask. And then before I knew it the smoke alarm was going off and I had no dinner.

I tossed the ruined pancake in the trash and poured fresh batter into the pan before glancing at Seth again. But I didn't turn away from the pan. I wasn't making that mistake again.

"So, what are you doing here?"

"Sam wants everyone at his place."

I frowned at the batter in the pan. "Immediately?"

There were faster ways to gather everyone than to send out Seth. Hadn't Sam heard of the phone? And he was going to have to wait anyway, because the shower had just switched on in our bathroom. Smart girl that Jenna was, she'd figured out the whole Seth smelling me on her thing.

"Nah. He said you can head over after you guys have had breakfast, taken care of the kid, all that. No rush."

"Huh. Any idea what it's about? We just going to rehash the whole battle thing for the millionth time?" If that was the case, I wasn't taking Jenna. She didn't need to hear that shit.

"It's about Bella."

Oh. I took his words at face value. For all of five seconds. Then I realized that they didn't make any sense. Wait just a fucking minute. Bella was missing. She had been kidnapped by bloodsuckers and we didn't need to rush?

"Why the fuck can we suddenly take our time?"

Seth shook his head. "I don't know, but Sam didn't seem too happy about it. I'd enjoy my morning while I could if I was you."

I was so caught up in imagining what the hell could have happened with the whole Bella situation that I almost let another pancake go too long. But I remembered what I was doing at the last second and flipped it. It was a little darker than it should be, but I'd give it to Seth. Served him right for making my Jenna so uncomfortable.

I decided that I should probably focus on the cooking and worry about the meeting at Sam's place when I was actually at Sam's place. That seemed to work well for me. I had the whole cooking thing down by the time Jenna entered the room again, the smell of her shampoo and body wash wafting into the kitchen a few seconds before she walked in. Closing my eyes, I inhaled deeply. An overwhelming urge swept over me. As soon as I smelled her coming, all I could think about was shoving that pan away, grabbing her, and bending her over the table.

I must have been projecting that shit over the bond because her eyes snapped to mine as soon as she entered the room. There was no mistaking the look in her eyes. And then her desire rebounded to me. My hand twitched on the handle of the pan.

"Fuck," Seth muttered, his voice low.

And I suddenly understand all those times Sam and Emily had grossed us all the fuck out with their little make-out greeting sessions. They couldn't help it. My desire fed Jenna's, and in turn hers bounced back to me, making mine stronger, which bounced back to her. It was a never-ending loop. Holy fuck. No wonder sex had been so good the one time we'd had it. And that was when our bond was new, barely formed. Now…

How the fuck did the others get out of bed? No wonder they were going at it every chance they got.

"So, um, yeah, I'm just gonna go now. Before you two scar me for life or anything." Seth mumbled. He grabbed three more pancakes from the stack before heading for the backdoor. Just as he reached it, he called out over his shoulder, "Oh, and dude, you're burning it again."

"Shit!" I turned back to the pan to see another ruined pancake.

* * *

We were the last to arrive at Sam's place. I was still wavering on my decision to bring Jenna and Anderson. Maybe they shouldn't be there for whatever was going down. Maybe whatever had changed with Bella's situation would be too traumatic for Jenna after the previous day. But after eating and cleaning up she'd announced that she was going to get Anderson's things ready to go. And I found that I didn't have it in me to argue with her.

I regretted that decision as soon as I took one look at Emily's red eyes. What else would she have been crying about? I looked around the room. Everyone else looked nervous, and clueless. Everyone except Sam and Jake. They were standing at opposite ends of the room. Sam was weary. He looked worn thin. Jake looked ready for a fight.

Clenching my teeth, I ushered Jenna and Anderson into the remaining seat, a recliner. Then I took up a stance in front of them, guarding them. Shit was going to go down, I could feel it in the air. And when that happened, I was going to be where I belonged, protecting my family.

Sam stepped forward. "The Cullens stopped by to check on Quil this morning. The small one shared a vision with us. Apparently Bella has made it to Italy, to the home of the ones who took her. She made her decision."

My eyes snapped to Jake as his form began to vibrate. He was shaking his head. "The leech was lying! They all stick together! She was just covering for her kind."

Sam eyed Jake sadly as he continued to speak. "Bella is in the process of turning right now."

Jenna gasped behind me. Part of me wanted to turn to her, to comfort her, but I couldn't. Not while there was a threat in the room. I had to watch Jake. He was too close to losing control.

He glared at Sam. "That little bloodsucking leech was here when she had the so-called vision. We cloud her sight; she said so herself. We might be able to save Bella still."

Sam shook his head. "Jake, she's in Italy, in a fortress full of those things from what the Cullens say. We can't leave our community unprotected to go storm an enemy castle. Especially not to rescue someone who doesn't want rescuing."

"We can't sit here on our asses and let her die! She needs us! Just because she wanted to date one of those monsters doesn't mean she wants to be one!"

Sam took a step toward Jake, holding a hand out. "Jake, you were there when Charlie came to your dad. She called home to say she had decided that Forks was too small for her, that she needed to get out. That she won't be back. She chose this. Charlie said himself that she sounded happy."

Jake's shaking worsened. "Maybe there are leeches who can sound like anyone they want. They've got freaky-ass gifts. Why not that one? We have to help her, Sam!"

Sam sighed. "I forbid you to go after her, Jake."

Jake's body froze for a second before the shaking became frenetic. A hard look shifted over my pack-mate's face. He snarled at Sam and suddenly the tension ratcheted up in the room.

Sam gasped, stepping back. "What was that?"

He put a hand to his heart, glancing down in confusion before looking back up at Jake, a look of profound sadness on his face.

Jake took a step toward the door. His hard eyes swept the room quickly, searing into each of us. "Anyone who wants to help save an innocent life can join me."

And then he was gone, walking right through the Alpha command. Confusion prevented me from understanding at first. How could Jake do that? No one could ignore an Alpha command like that. But then I got it. No one but Jake could.

Jake had just become his own Alpha.


	46. Chapter 46

**Chapter 46**

**Disclaimer: Same shit, different day. Still not mine. :-)**

* * *

**PPOV**

There was a palpable tension in the air as we all started eyeing each other, wondering who, if any, would be the first to break from Sam's pack. I focused primarily on Embry and Quil. If anyone was going to walk out that door, it would be them. The three of them had been close since before Kindergarten. They'd go for loyalty alone, whether they believed in his mission or not. The younger guys were iffy. They still had a naïve trust that good would always overcome evil. And we were most definitely the good guys. So how could their little rag-tag group not triumph? Against a fucking castle full of the enemy.

I'd never sensed any outright discontent against Sam's leadership though. So maybe they wouldn't be completely comfortable with breaking away, with betraying him like that. Maybe their brains would kick in and they would realize that regardless of their odds, the idiot victim didn't want to be rescued. And besides all that, not a damn one of us had a fucking passport. How the hell were we supposed to get to Italy in the first place? Huh? And when exactly was Jake going to calm down enough to phase from wolf back to man? He sure wasn't going to stroll through any airport security with his tail wagging. I had a feeling once he let the wolf out, that fucking Jack wasn't going back in the box any time soon.

Sam cleared his throat nervously, his eyes trained on the door Jake had left open behind himself. "I…I don't really know what to say, Guys."

Emily squeezed against his side, running a soothing hand across his chest. He raised one of his large hands to clasp her smaller hand against his heart. Taking in a deep breath he continued. "I won't try to force any of you to stay with me. That wouldn't be fair to any of us. It seems you have a choice now that there are two Alphas. I suppose…I suppose I could step down, if I thought that what Jake was doing was right. But, I don't."

Embry frowned. "It's our job to protect people though! She was kidnapped! Shouldn't we at least _try_ to save her?"

Sam shook his head sadly. "Believe me, I'd love to be able to do that. If they were anywhere near us, if she wanted saving…but Embry, Bella called home. She said she wanted this. She chose this. Hell," He ran his free hand roughly through his hair. "She wanted this back when she was running with the Cullens. I guess she never really changed her mind."

Quil shifted on his feet uneasily. "Jake's gonna get himself killed out there. He can't take on a whole town of those things on his own."

I snorted. "Jake's not going to Italy. No way in hell he can get out of the country. He'll run around for awhile, blow off some steam, and then come crawling back."

Embry and Quil exchanged a glance. "How can you be so sure?"

"How is he going to get a flight without money? A passport? Huh? And if he took the time to get any of that, he'd be too late. Hell, even if he jumped on a flight right now he'd be too late. If he stops to take five seconds to think, he'll realize that."

His friends frowned. Embry rubbed his hands up and down his thighs. "Shit. That's gonna hit him hard. He really loved Bella, you know?"

Quil nodded from his spot against the wall. "It'll be like she's died."

I snarled. "She _is_ dying. Right now."

Seth growled at me. "Have some damn compassion, Asshole. She ate dinner at your house for fuck's sake."

I bared my teeth at him. I hadn't forgotten that for a second. The stupid bitch had put my whole family in danger during those little dinner parties.

"So," Sam said, pulling the attention back to himself. "Like I said, I won't hold any of you back. Jake's going to need some friends right now. I can't _feel_ him anymore, so I wouldn't be surprised if we can't hear him once we're phased either, unless you're a part of his pack. He's got to be lonely right about now."

I frowned, knowing where Sam was going with this. And I didn't like it at all. Jake had done this to himself. He could face the consequences. It was part of growing up after all. If a person chose to throw the shit into the fan, he should damn well stand there while it rained down on him.

"What I'm getting at, is…don't worry about hurting my feelings…if you feel like you should be with Jake right now. I understand. I think he needs someone to be there with him, to help him through this right now. And I understand. I do."

For the longest time, no one in the room made a move. No one wanted to be the first to break away. Finally though, Embry stood up, looking around nervously. His eyes skated right over mine though. He knew better than to look for understanding from me.

"Um…I don't want to go, Sam. But, Jake and Quil are my best friends. I _have_ to be there for him right now."

Sam nodded, stepping forward to embrace the younger boy in a quick hug. "I said I understand, and I meant it."

Quil shoved off of the wall quickly. "I've gotta go too. No offense, Guys."

Sam repeated the hug.

I wasn't really surprised by the next person to step up. Although the thought hadn't crossed my mind until I saw the movement. It should have though. It really should have.

Leah edged toward the door. "I think he's making the biggest fucking mistake he's ever made. But, maybe if I follow him, get a little distance, I can get some peace."

Sam made a move to embrace her. She gave a little warning growl as she moved closer to the door. Holding him off with a hand, she shook her head. "I don't think so. "

Then she slipped out, the first to actually walk away. Quil and Embry followed her quickly. I shifted my gaze around the room, watching for any others to jump ship. But apparently Jake was going to have a small pack because everyone else was busy watching for deserters instead of making their move. As I surveyed the room I finally began to relax. The moment of danger was past.

I slid into a crouch in front of the recliner, leaning back against Jenna's legs. I could not wait to go home and just hold her. This little meeting had drained me completely. Her fingers slid into my short hair. Closing my eyes I focused on the feel of her cool fingertips rubbing little circles in my scalp. Damn that felt good. And really soothing. I slid my feet out from under me, landing on my ass with a soft thump.

The room was eerily silent though, and it just didn't feel right. I pried my eyes open to look around. My eyes immediately fell to the gaping holes in the pack. Holes that would forever be empty now. Jake wouldn't come back from this. He wouldn't abdicate his Alpha role. I wasn't sure if he'd even know how, or if his heritage would allow him to do that. Jake could be a prick. Quil was a perv. Embry would never grow up. Leah was a bitch. But they were _pack_. And they were gone.

A deep sadness fell across the room, settling into our bones. Now that the adrenaline was wearing off, I knew what Sam meant about not being able to feel them. I could actually feel the rupture in the pack, and it was painful. If it was this bad for me, how was it for Sam?

My eyes sought him out, and then quickly darted away. He was curled around Emily, shoulders hunched in despair. The moment appeared far too private. I felt like a voyeur just occupying the same room.

Jenna shifted behind me, leaning in close. The scent of her shampoo drifted across my nose, restoring a sense of balance to me. I grasped onto that scent with everything in me.

"Can you hold Anderson?"

"Sure." I'd do anything for her. Anything. Especially at that moment.

"I think I'm going to see what Emily has in the kitchen. See what I can whip up."

I was torn. I wanted to drift after her as she slid the small boy into my arms and pulled her legs out from between my back and the recliner. But the idea of being away from my remaining brothers was heart wrenching. I couldn't decide. I didn't have to decide though.

Jenna squatted down in front of me, giving me a small smile, sliding her hand to rest against my cheek. "You stay in here. I'll call out if I need any help."

I nodded helplessly. Then I closed my eyes to focus on the feel of her soft lips against mine and the small spasm of happiness the kiss shot through my body. I waited for her steps to drift away, waited for the healing properties of her touch to work to their full capabilities and then fade away again before I opened my eyes to accept the despair surrounding me.

I found that holding Anderson was helpful though. He made a good distraction. The boy refused to stay seated now. He had to see everything that was going on around him. And he was vocal about it. He didn't really know any words, but I considered that a good thing. From the sounds coming out of his mouth, if he had figured out speech, some of the things he would be saying would not be pleasant. I was fairly certain he was cussing me out in baby speak at one point. But how was I to know that he had wanted to face out and see the room instead of looking at me?

Anderson threw his little fists around babbling, growing upset again. I spun him around gently. "What's up, Little Man? What are you mad about now?"

He kept on the babbling, but now he was a little happier. His little fist smacked against my nose. I made a face, pretending the blow hurt. He grinned and tried again. Drool streamed down his face as he continued to clobber me. Picking up the edge of my shirt, I wiped the liquid off his chin.

"Ugh! Paul! That's disgusting!" Collin complained.

I glanced up to see him cringing away. "What?"

"You just got baby juice all over your shirt. On purpose."

"Baby juice?" I asked incredulously.

His lips still pulled back in disgust, he nodded. "It was all over him and you just wiped it off, with the shirt you're _still wearing! Get the damn shirt off!"_

Chuckling I turned back to Anderson. "Collin's silly, isn't he?"

"Did you just say 'silly'?" Seth asked, busting into a chuckle on the last word. "I did not hear that right."

I shrugged, embarrassed at the attention. "So?"

Kim piped up from her position on Jared's lap. "Well I think it's cute. He'll make a good father." She turned to Jared. "And someday Jared will be acting just like that."

Jared shot me a look, one eyebrow raised. "I don't know about _just_ like that."

Kim lightly slapped his chest. "Oh shut up. You know he's a good dad."

I felt my lips pulling into a smile, despite the pain still tearing at my heart. It felt good to be praised for something. I wasn't used to that. It was especially nice when it was something that meant so much to me.

Things were finally moving along smoothly with this whole imprint thing. My girl admitted she loved me. And obviously I was getting good at the Dad thing too, if other people were starting to notice. If not for the whole Jacob throwing his little hissy fit and storming off, everything would be perfect.

* * *

**Jenna POV**

I held myself together fairly well, until we got home. Then it all came crashing down. My cousin was gone. He was the closest thing to family I had ever known, and he was out there hurting, who knew where. He could get himself hurt over this suicide mission of his.

Paul rushed to place Anderson on the floor before pulling me into his chest. "Babe, what is it? Honey? What's wrong?"

"Jake's gone," I wailed into his chest. "He's gonna go get himself killed over that idiot."

He began to smooth my hair down, but I wasn't in the mood to be pet like a dog. So I pulled away from him. "He could get killed, Paul! He's no match for a whole town of those things!"

Paul shook his head, moving his hands to capture my cheeks. "He can't fly out of the U.S. without a passport, Jenna. He'll be okay."

I glared at him. "What about Mexico? Huh? How hard would it be there?"

Paul swallowed hard. "The others will talk some sense into him. He'll realize it's too late either way. Besides, he doesn't speak the language. He doesn't have the money. Even if he makes it down there, he won't be able to go anywhere."

I wanted to believe him. I wanted to believe so badly.

Paul held his arms out to me again. "Come here, Baby."

I let myself collapse against him. It had taken everything I had in me to be strong for the pack at Sam's house. I had stood in the kitchen and made every comfort food I could find the ingredients for, chicken and noodles, chili, lasagna, cake, cookies. Emily had a really well-stocked kitchen, when I started anyway. I would have to go shopping to replace everything I had used. But the boys had been grateful. As the day wore on they began to drift through the over-heated room, grabbing dishes, sampling it all. And I just kept it coming, until I didn't have anything left to give. Until I was drained. Then Paul had appeared, wrapping a hot arm around my shoulders, wordlessly leading me away from the stove, out of the house, to the car.

After a few minutes or a few hours, I really couldn't tell, of holding me, Paul gently pushed me back into the couch. "Here, sit down. You deserve a little break."

Then he opened up the diaper bag and began pulling out plastic containers filled with the food I had cooked in the Uley kitchen. It looked like he'd grabbed a little of everything. He set it all out on the coffee table in front of us before turning to me with a small smile and an outstretched arm.

"Dinner is served. What shall Madam be having tonight?"

A smile drifted across my lips, but they were too tired to hold it for long. "The chicken and noodles please."

He nodded once before grabbing a couple containers and hopping off to the kitchen to heat them up. I leaned back to relax, only to lean forward once again as Anderson pulled himself up against my legs. He babbled and reached one hand my way, which made him unsteady and threatened to dump him on his rear. I swooped him up, pulling him tight against my chest. Closing my eyes I breathed in deeply. The content smile stuck that time.

Before I knew it Paul was back, settling on the couch next to me, holding out a bowl of my chicken and noodles. He had a steaming plate of lasagna for himself. I knew better than to think that was all he would eat.

Anderson seemed to consider his options before lunging toward Paul, babbling loudly. "Da-da-da-da-da-da."

Paul quickly set his plate aside and grabbed my son before he could launch himself out of my arms.

I stared at them both for a second, listening to the sounds coming from Anderson's mouth. "Is he…is he calling you Dada? As in Daddy? As in Dad?"

Paul froze. "Um…maybe. Some might think it sounds like that."

My eyes narrowed. "And why would he be doing that?"

Paul's eyes darted around the room but oddly, they never once touched on mine. "The baby book says that's a really common sound combination that they use for all sorts of things. That we shouldn't read too much into it."

"Hmm."

So why did Paul look so nervous? And guilty? Not read anything into it my ass.

"Paul, have you been teaching him to call you Daddy?"

Paul stared down at Anderson, not saying anything at all now.

"Paul?"

Finally, his eyes snapped to mine, and practically begged for understanding. "Well, I'm going to be in his life forever, you know? And I love him like a son. I feel like he's mine."

I stared at him, at a loss for words. Once upon a time, Paul had told me that he wanted to adopt my son, but I hadn't really believed him. Teenage boys did not think like that. Teenage boys didn't want to take responsibility for the kids they had a hand in creating, much less the ones someone else had all the fun making.

He didn't like my silence, so he rushed to fill it. "Besides, all our other kids will call me Dad. We don't want him to feel left out. He'll feel like he's not wanted, like he's not part of our family. But he is! He's mine! I want him to understand that from the start."

How did I find such a great guy? It had to be the camouflage. No one else had seen through his gruff exterior and intimidating size to the big softie on the inside. If they had, he would have been snatched up before I met him. Imprint or not.

"Um, Jenna? Don't you have anything to say about that?"

The vulnerability in his voice snapped me out of my daze. I laid my hand over the hand he had splayed across my son's…no…_our son's_ back. "I think he's a very lucky boy to have you as a Daddy."

Paul beamed at me before leaning in for a kiss. I closed my eyes, savoring the heat of his lips, only to yank them back open as warm goo slid across my arm. I glanced down to see chicken and noodles oozing down my arm and onto my lap. I looked up just in time to see Anderson shoving a handful of the stolen food into his mouth, smearing half of it across his cheeks first. He successfully maneuvered the fistful into his mouth and extracted the hand, sans food. Then he sent me a large grin, dropping half the noodles from his mouth onto Paul's lap.

We took that as our sign that it would be best to move dinner to the kitchen. Especially if Anderson was going to be joining in. I was slowly introducing more foods to his diet. I hadn't intended to feed him chicken and noodles yet, but a quick mental run down of the ingredients didn't reveal anything that concerned me. So I might as well let him keep eating it. He seemed to enjoy it considering the way he was trying to grab for my bowl again.

Once his little belly was full drowsiness took over his body quickly. The little guy had a full day. The time had seemed to fly while I was in that kitchen, but it was already evening. We'd spent all day at Sam's house. Anderson had stolen a little catnap here and there on different pack member's chests, but he'd never gotten the good restful nap that he was accustomed to. Hopefully that meant he would sleep well.

As soon as Anderson was asleep, Paul pulled me into the living room. He sank into the couch, pulling me against his chest. When his arms wrapped around me, it was like a switch had been thrown. We both sighed in relief at the same time. I snuggled into him, burying my face into his chest. I hadn't even realized all day that this is what I had needed.

We didn't turn on the TV or talk. We just sat there in silence, relishing the presence of our mate. I drifted into a semi dozing state, where I wasn't really asleep but I certainly wasn't awake either. I floated on that content cloud for what felt like an eternity. Until I was rudely yanked back to reality by the ringing of the phone. Paul shifted beneath me as he twisted to reach the phone on the side table behind him.

When he answered he didn't sound too happy about the interruption either. "Yeah?"

I closed my eyes and listened to his deep voice echoing in his chest.

"Yeah, we're okay for the night."

I lifted my head to smooth a wrinkle in his shirt that had popped up when he twisted around. It was bugging the hell out of me.

"No, you stay. Take care of Billy and Charlie. They need you right now."

"John?" I mouthed.

He nodded as he continued speaking. "We'll be fine here. Yeah, okay. See you later."

He lightly tossed the phone onto the coffee table before wrapping his arms around me again. "Embry called Billy. They caught up to Jake. They've apparently talked him into stopping his fool mission, but they can't get him to come back. So they'll be staying out of town for awhile. John's there helping Billy cope. Charlie too."

I stared off into the empty fireplace, considering his words. "So, they're all getting plastered?"

"Sounded that way."

"Hmm." They'd all feel like shit in the morning, but if it gave them a measure of comfort for the night, I could understand. As long as it didn't become a habit. As long as they didn't think booze was the only coping strategy that could work.

I had just closed my eyes when the phone rang again. Paul stretched out to the coffee table, shifting my body with his to grab it. I frowned against him, keeping my eyes closed. What did John forget to tell us? It wasn't like we weren't used to being here without him.

"Um, yeah, she's right here."

I popped my head up, taking the phone from a confused looking Paul. "Hello?"

"Jenna? Jenna, Baby, is that really you?"

I shoved off of Paul's chest, shooting myself into an upright position as my emotions went haywire. I didn't know how to react to that voice. I loved her, but I hated her at the same time.

"Amy."

I refused to let myself feel any guilt for the sob she let loose when she heard me call her by her given name instead of 'Mom'. Warm hands slid across my back, down my sides and to my hips. He engulfed me in his heat, offering whatever comfort he could. I soaked it all in.

"I, I sent you a birthday card. Did you get it?"

"Yeah. I did." And I threw it away immediately.

"Oh. Well, I don't know if you noticed, but it had a number you could reach me at here, and the times I'm able to take phone calls. I'm doing really well. They say I'll be a shoe-in for the parole board, when my time comes up for that. And I'm following all the steps in the recovery program. Oh! And I've discovered Buddhism. It's really helped with the addiction."

I rolled my eyes. Shocking, that she would discover yet another religion to help her through this trying time. Before long she'd have to resort to Druidism, it would be the only thing left.

"So, what's new with you?"

I clenched my eyes closed. I could not let myself get close to this woman again. She would only hurt me. But she was my mother. How could I be rude to her? "Um, I met my cousin Jacob. He's a good guy. Kinda heartbroken right now cause the girl he loves decided she wants something different out of life. She took off, decided to see the world. Discover herself I guess."

It was the best I could do with the material at hand, and it was all I'd thought about all day. At least, all I would talk to her about. I had no intention of sharing anything deeply personal with her.

"What? Is she experimenting with batting for the other team?"

Not exactly, but it was the best I could do. "I guess you could say that."

"Poor boy."

The line went silent. If she wanted any more talking, she was going to have to come up with the conversation starters. I wasn't the one invested in this relationship.

Finally, her voice came across again, a little more hesitant and quiet. "How's your son?"

I narrowed my eyes. Did she even know his name? "Anderson is doing well. He's asleep right now. He's growing like a weed. Won't be long till he's a year old. Just a few weeks away now."

A female voice suddenly cut into the conversation, warning that there were only thirty seconds left unless I wanted to charge more time to a personal credit card. I declined, shocking as that may seem.

Amy rushed to get in a few heartfelt goodbyes. I endured her teary words, sitting emotionless on the couch. When she finally stopped babbling, I felt I should probably say something to her before the call was cut short. "Um, stay safe in there, Amy. Talk to you later."

I pushed the call end button and stared at the device in my hands. It had been so long since I'd really even thought about that woman. About any of that shit from my past. At the sound of her voice, it all came rushing back though. Every last degradation I had suffered at his hands. Every time I'd heard her crying out in pain as he slammed his fist into her. Every time Amy and I had attempted to drown our sorrows together in a bottle of whatever cheap booze we could get our hands on that night. Every joint we had smoked together. Every party I had stumbled out of. It all washed over me in a tidal wave.

Paul whimpered into my neck, tightening his arms around me. He didn't press me to share the gory details though. He just held me, silently offering whatever he had.

I began to lazily twirl the phone around in my hands. "She didn't know about it. Not at first. If she had, she would have gotten me out sooner. But I was a stupid kid. I believed him when he said it was normal. And that I shouldn't tell anyone. Fucking stupid. How contradictory is that? This is normal, but don't tell anyone."

I shook my head at the error of my younger, gullible, self. "When I finally figured it out, I told her. And she tried to get us out. But of course, Amy had to confront him." I paused, frowning down at the back of the phone. "I guess I can understand that now. I'd tear a fucker's throat out for touching Anderson. I wouldn't be able to just sneak away in the dead of the night either. Alan didn't react mildly though. He put her in the hospital. Some good came of it though. The cops were called." My frown deepened as I twisted the phone back around to stare at the numbers. "I don't think she ever intended to tell them about my abuse. I think she was betting on her injuries being enough to put him away for awhile. But I had a willing audience and I wasn't shutting up. I told everyone who would listen. Between the rape charges and the assault and battery on Amy, he has a couple years left."

I lifted one hand up to rub along Paul's shaking arm. "I guess we both kinda lost it at that point. Amy went off the deep end, jumping straight into vodka's loving arms to ease the pain of putting her daughter right into a predator's home. She was in and out of rehab so I was in and out of foster care. When I was home with her, I was right there with her, partying like a rock star." I chuckled, a hard, bitter sound. "I still think of my mother when I smell weed. She gave me my first hit."

I leaned against him, soaking in more of his strength. "I lost a few years of my life. Not literally. Well, maybe. I don't know what the full consequences of those years will be. I don't remember a lot of my preteens and up through the first couple months of my sophomore year. And then I found out I was going to be a mom. I changed everything for him. Everything. I got out. I got safe. I made sure he was safe. No matter what it took."

Paul lifted his head from my neck. I cringed, almost afraid to meet his eyes, afraid I would see judgement there. I clenched my eyes closed as he lifted a hand up to my face, tilting it his direction. Then his warm lips were on my forehead, pressing against my skin gently. They pulled away slowly. I opened my eyes hesitantly as he moved to rest his forehead against the spot he had kissed.

"I'm so proud of you," he whispered.

A sob caught in my throat. "What?"

How could he be proud of me after all that I just told him?

"You're so strong, Jenna. You didn't let that shit tear you down. You fought your way out of it to become a better person, to become an amazing mother. I wish I could handle my shit like that. Instead I went and beat the hell of the old man."

I couldn't help but chuckle, because that's exactly what Paul would do. "Believe me, if I could get at him, I'd be taking a tire-iron to Alan's face right now."

Paul's eyes narrowed. "Baby, he's never getting that close to you again. When he gets out, he's gonna have a little visitor ready and waiting."

A chill raced up my spine. "Um, Paul. I don't know how I feel about that."

His expression turned hard. "Then don't think about it. Fuckers like that won't stop at one kid. They'll just keep going. Prison won't change that."

Slowly I nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, I see that."

"Good. Come here."

With that said, he started pulling me back, laying against the armrest of the couch again. I shifted around so I could rest my cheek against his chest once more. Frowning I reached up to straighten his shirt again. Damn wrinkles. Muttering, he shoved my hands away just long enough to yank the shirt over his head, leaving his glorious chest displayed. I smiled as I rested my cheek against the warm skin. That was much better. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and steeled myself for the backlash of emotion. Letting myself dwell on all those memories was never a good idea. But...I was okay. Yes, my heart was sore. Yes, I was sad and mourned for the little girl who had to endure such pain and poor parenting. But, Paul was right. I had survived. I had taken my lot in life, examined it, said fuck that, and went off and made a new life for myself. And for the first time in maybe ever, I was okay with it all.

"Oh, and Jenna? We will be having a little discussion about this Birthday you let me miss. I cannot go around not knowing important shit like that about my mate."

* * *

**AN: Sorry I haven't had a chance to reply to reviews this past chapter. RL has decided I needed an ass kicking. The lovely reviews did bring lots of smiles to my face when I felt like shit though, so thanks for that. :-)**


	47. Chapter 47

**Chapter 47, The Epilogue  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own it.**

* * *

**PPOV**

She stood at the foot of the porch stairs, arms crossed, refusing to step up. "Are you serious?"

"Get up here. They're all waiting for you."

I knew I shouldn't have let it slip that there was a party for her waiting on the other side of that door. But the excitement had gotten to me.

_"Paul_," she whined. "I _hate_ parties. You know that. Can't we just tell everyone to go home?"

"Not a chance in hell. Get your ass up here. We're going in there. You are going to smile at everyone. You are going to accept the birthday presents with grace. You'll even eat the damn cake and ice cream."

Grumbling, she finally stomped up the stairs. "I hate you."

"Liar."

I couldn't wipe the smirk off my face. She looked so cute with that little pout. There weren't many things that could make Jenna act like a toddler, but apparently I had just found one. The woman hated being the center of attention. But, she would only turn eighteen once. This was a big birthday. A very big birthday.

"Don't forget to smile," I teased as I reached forward to open Sam's door.

Her lips were pulled into a tense grin when the living room was revealed, but I could see, and feel, the flash of unease that went through her when she saw just how much trouble we all went to for her. Sam's living room had never been so full of streamers and balloons. And the place was packed.

Emily rushed forward to pull my mate into a tight hug. The two had become close over the past year. Leah and Jake were still off healing, which left Emily, Kim and Jenna behind to form a tightly knit sisterhood.

Sam sent me a large grin, eyes sparkling. Of course every pack member in the room had heard our entire exchange on the porch. They were all secretly laughing over her reluctance to celebrate with us. She'd thrown the same fit when we suggested a graduation party, and she hadn't even been the sole focus of that party. We'd all backed off of that idea when she threatened to take away our meals again. That shit wasn't funny.

I figured she'd be okay with this party once she saw my gift.

Embry elbowed Jenna with a grin. "So, Birthday Girl, what'll it be first? Food or presents?"

She scowled at him, earning a laugh from everyone in the room. She couldn't hold the expression for long though. Jenna couldn't stay mad at Embry. She was too relieved to have him back. Quil and Embry had strolled into town just two weeks earlier, after nearly a year of being gone. Jake had sent them back, to rejoin Sam.

He was starting to heal, finally. For the longest time he'd fought it. He pushed his friends away. He did everything but outright Alpha order them to leave. It was hard on them to stay and watch him suffer, but that's what friends did. They stuck around, even when it was hard. Especially when it was hard.

Jake was a little easier on Leah. He knew she wasn't there to try to talk him out of his bitterness over Bella's decision. She was there for the same reasons he was, really. La Push held too many memories for her. Sam's pack was too painful. He understood that she couldn't waste the opportunity his leaving presented. So, they just kind of tolerated each other. He was a little less caustic in his dealings with the lone female of their pack. And she was far less bitter toward her new leader than she had ever been toward her old.

Eventually though, Jake had started to come to terms with Bella's decision. It came time to step away from the denial. She was always going to make that choice. She'd just made it in different circumstances, with a different set of monsters. And when he finally faced that fact, he was able to start dealing with how that affected his life, his future. Obviously, she wasn't ever meant for him. As painful as that was, it was the truth. He had to deal with the pain of that truth, and move on.

The most shocking information Quil and Embry shared though, was _how _Jake chose to move on. Leah and Jake had decided that _they_ were going to be a couple. To hell with imprinting. They were going to be together. They could live forever. If one or the other imprinted, well, they could wait for that phase of the partner's life to pass. Then they would be together again. It seemed like a very deliberate, too logically thought out decision for me. But, it wasn't my relationship to analyze.

My relationship didn't need analysis. Jenna was amazing. I couldn't believe there was ever a time in my life when I thought imprinting could be a bad thing. She was the best thing that had ever happened to me. And I was going to spend the rest of my life making sure that I was the same for her.

* * *

**Jenna POV**

I was going to kill Paul when we got home. He knew I didn't want a party. I specifically told him not to plan a birthday party for me. And what did he do? Plan a surprise party for me, which was even worse.

"So? Food or presents?" Embry asked again.

"Food." As if I would ask these guys to wait for food. I wasn't crazy.

They ushered me into Emily's kitchen. I had to take a moment to admire the huge cake the poor woman had made for me. It looked like a wedding cake. It was gorgeous, with multiple levels and what looked like professional decorations. She had really outdone herself. She had to have spent forever on that thing. And it would be devoured in a matter of minutes.

"You really shouldn't have, Emily."

She pulled me into a one-armed hug, beaming toward her cake. "Of course I should have! This is your special day."

Paul quickly lit the candles. Then he placed a hand on my back and gently pushed me forward. "Make a wish."

I ignored his teasing tone. He was enjoying my discomfort too much. He would pay for that later. We'd see just how much he enjoyed it when I slept in my old room. He hadn't slept alone since the vampire war.

I wasn't one for wishes, so I simply blew out the candles. Wrinkling my nose at the smell, I turned to Emily. "Want me to cut it and serve?"

She waved my offer away. "Sit down. You're the guest of honor."

She smacked Brady's hand out of the way, moving with lightening-quick reflexes. "No. You aren't swiping any icing either. Wait your turn."

Moving with practiced efficiency, she set up an assembly line with Kim scooping ice cream while Emily plated the cake. Then Sam passed them out. In minutes everyone had a slice. For a few blissful seconds there was silence as the wolves filled their mouths. Then they were going back to get more.

Paul cleaned his plate, but instead of getting up to get another slice of cake, he stayed in his seat next to me. I could feel his eyes on me as I slid my fork from my mouth. Turning to him, I raised my eyebrows in silent question. He shook his head, darting his gaze down to his empty plate. I watched him from the corner of my eye as I finished my cake. He played with his fork, running it through the little bit of ice cream that had melted on his plate before he could eat it.

As I watched him I could feel anxiety trickling over our bond. Since we had deepened our relationship, I had gotten a lot better at noticing things like that. More seemed to come across the bond too. Especially after we grew closer physical. I would know when Paul was having a really bad day even while he was on patrol and I was sitting in class. After practicing with it we had learned that I could send him little bursts of emotion to counteract whatever he was feeling, when he needed it. So, I sent him a shot of love.

Immediately his hand moved to my back. It was his way of silently thanking me.

As soon as the last forkful of cake crossed my lips, Paul leaned in and whispered in my ear. "Hey, wanna come outside with me for a second?"

"Um, sure," I mumbled around my mouthful.

He led me away from the house, so he must have wanted some privacy. Finally, he stopped, turning to me with a nervous smile. "I wanted to give you your present away from everyone else."

"Oh, okay." I said slowly, smiling encouragingly at him. What on earth could he have gotten me that he would want to give me in private?

It was probably embarrassing.

And then he slowly lowered himself down to one knee.

Oh, my…

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a little box.

"Yes," I breathed out quietly.

Chuckling, Paul rolled his eyes. "Can I at least ask the question first?"

I laughed at myself. "Sorry. Go ahead."

"_Jenna_, I love everything about you and all I want out of this life is to make you happy. Marry me?"

Smiling, I reached my hand out to him. "Yes."

* * *

Everyone was smiling at us when we walked back into the house. I glanced over at Paul, wondering if maybe they had heard the proposal. He had taken us far enough away to avoid their eavesdropping, right?

"Come on, it's time for presents!" Collin urged, pulling at my hand. He stopped as he noticed the new addition digging into his palm. "Damn, that thing's huge, Paul. You sell a kidney to afford that?"

I pulled my hand out of Collin's and moved over to the couch. "Okay, let's do this."

I smiled at John where he was standing with Anderson across the room. John smiled back, his eyes twinkling. He nodded his head toward the ring, his smiled widening. He didn't look the least bit surprised.

Seth held out a package for me. When I reached to grab it, he pulled it back slightly. "Now, don't get all excited before you even open it."

My cheeks heated up as the room burst into laughter. Dammit, they'd heard the whole proposal.

Paul quickly took the seat next to me, pulling me into a hug. "Ignore them."

Nodding, I pulled away from him. "Come here, Anderson."

He ran over from his Uncle John, giving me a big hug. Then I had him rip open all of the presents I received. He'd have more fun with it anyway. And it would be good practice for his upcoming second birthday party. Leaning into Paul's side, I looked down at the little boy happily tearing into the colored paper. Then I looked around the room at all of the smiling faces. They were all here for me, to celebrate my birthday. Each of these people loved me, as a friend, as a niece, as a soon to be wife.

I'd fled to La Push out of desperation. To keep from being separated from my son. But I had found something precious here. I found a family.


End file.
